River, Geyser, or Meteor

Friendship can take different turns--it can run like a river, quietly and sustainingly through life; it can erupt like a geyser, forcefully and intermittently at times; or it can explode like a meteor, altering the atmosphere so that nothing ever looks, feels, or functions the same again.
~Ansel Adams

The Wonder of Your Company

It is no small gift from God to be counted one among His saints. And it is no small thing to enjoy the pleasure of the saints' company, the joy of their friendship.

Those who love us with the love of Christ bear with our infirmities, rejoice with us when rejoicing is hard, speak difficult truths to us in love, overlook offenses, graciously forgive offenses, cheer us on when we've grown weary and want to give up.

Sometimes I look at the company God has given me to keep, and I'm in awe. They are wiser and more loving. More forgiving. More gracious. They're big-hearted while I'm small-minded. They stand up straight, arms and hands wide open, while I cower, arms crossed and hands tight-fisted. They give grace by the tons, while I'm tempted to offer it in spoonfuls.

It's like running with a group of seasoned athletes, and I'm the amateur in the middle. But these friends don't leave me behind. They patiently let me run with them, even though I'm always stumbling and catching my breath, and I push myself because of their kindness, and I exercise those places in my soul that are too easily neglected. I remember their examples, when they didn't return evil for evil, when they gave to their hurt, when they rejoiced with me in the midst of their own heartbreak, and God uses them to sharpen me.

They are truly holier than I am.

"We are all of us at times bad and laughable, but there are still also among us now and then truth, greatness, even holiness. The merest hint of true holiness we are quick to suspect as counterfeit, and we condemn what we like to call a 'holier than thou' attitude. But years ago a teacher pointed out that the person I was condemning was in fact holier than I--and it certainly didn't take much."
~Elisabeth Elliot

In our socialist mindset, we're tempted to think that Christians are equally holy,  equally sanctified. But we're not. And those around us who are more like Christ than we are should not move us to doubt or envy, but rather, they should move us to wonder. To wonder at God's grace and His work in them, and to wonder at the ways they bear with us and encourage us, and to wonder at the truth that God is working in us, too.

C. S. Lewis said this of his friends:

"In a perfect friendship...each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all of the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others."

The glorious truth is that God has set us among our "betters." What a gift it is to learn from them, to run this race with them. What a gift it is to know the wonder of their company.

With love,
Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~Bounty of Friends and God's Favor

My pastor recently told me I have a good group of friends on Facebook. Not as in "a good amount," but as in "good." They're encouragers, they are.

And so are the faithful readers of this blog. And those friends that surround me right here where I live.

The kindness of friends and people I've hugged and those, too, I've never even met leaves me in wonder and so often in tears. Happy tears!

They shower me with gifts:

This from precious friends who know laughter is awesome medicine

Idaho potatoes brought back from Idaho and given to us by one of Mountain Man's co-workers

Such a lovely tea mug --perfect colors, too~ Green and pink. This cup is so ME.

The ingredients to make a meal of red beans and rice and cornbread and dessert. Shoes. Pen holders. Baby gifts. Bookmarks. Children's clothes. Lovely cards with tea bags tucked inside. A plane ticket. And more and more and more.

And I've known the very humbling JOY of having people pay good money to come visit us. And these visits have reaped the beautiful gift of dearest friends who are family to us. Even now, I'm counting down the days when my friend, Tami, and her whole family will hop on a plane and spend a long weekend with us. Yep. They paid money to do that, and it's simply amazing to me.

And then the WORDS:

"Blessings to you, sister. Praying your week is blessed. Love in Him who is faithful and true."

"Praise God for your discipline and your habits, which help you to enjoy the feast--not only for yourself, but for all those in proximity." (referring to feasting on God's Word)

"I miss your heavenly food."

"I'm praying for you."

Every time a friend gives a good word or spends time to come visit or sends an encouraging package or gives a gift or prays for me...I praise God for this bounty of people He uses to bless me and encourage me and admonish me and humble me. His favor. His kindness. His goodness. His mercy.

Look around you and consider what great gifts He's given you in your friends and brothers and sisters in Christ and the many who give of themselves to be a blessing to you.

Thank you, most gracious and generous Heavenly Father, and thank you, my friends.

With love,
Trisha

Edison and the Broken Light Bulb

Loving actions can do much more than change your feelings; they can also communicate in unmistakable terms the reality of your forgiveness and your commitment to reconciliation. Thomas Edison apparently understood this principle. When he and his staff were developing the incandescent light bulb, it took hundreds of hours to manufacture a single bulb. One day, after finishing a bulb, he handed it to a young errand boy and asked him to take it upstairs to the testing room. As the boy turned and started up the stairs, he stumbled and fell, and the bulb shattered on the steps. Instead of rebuking the boy, Edison reassured him and then turned to his staff and told them to start working on another bulb. When it was completed several days later, Edison demonstrated the reality of his forgiveness in the most powerful way possible. He walked over to the same boy, handed him the bulb, and said, "Please take this up to the testing room." Imagine how that boy must have felt. He knew that he didn't deserve to be trusted with this responsibility again. Yet, here it was, being offered to him as though nothing had ever happened. Nothing could have restored this boy to the team more clearly, more quickly, or more fully. How much more should those of us who have experienced reconciliation with God be quick to demonstrate our forgiveness with concrete actions.
~Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

When You Think You're Not Getting Anything Out of Church

I recall one little old lady at a congregation where I served who was very sweet but had a physical problem which caused her to fall asleep whenever she sat down for any length of time. She was very embarrassed about it, and she did everything possible to stay awake. She did not enjoy coffee but she would drink it on Sunday mornings and do everything she could think of to prevent herself from sleeping. But every time she would fall asleep anyway, and she would always apologize to me afterward and tell me that she believed that the sermon had been a good one, judging from the responses she heard from other people. One day she told me, "I am going to be here every Sunday, because it is important for the young people to see that if I can come, they can come. I want to be here as an example to them. And I hope I don't fall asleep." Most of us might be tempted to laugh at the "example" she set, but in her resolve she showed a deeper understanding of the problem. She was getting very little out of worship for herself but the knowledge that she was obeying the Lord and encouraging her brothers and sisters. She received little for herself, but she gave all that was in her power to give. God blessed her and used her in mighty ways to bless the whole congregation.

The one who avoids church because he does not "get much out of it" has a fundamentally selfish and unChristian attitude. We do not worship merely to fulfill our own needs; we are there for the sake of others and to give thanks and praise to God. He deserves our presence and our hearts, whether or not He is pleased to give us anything, for He certainly is not obliged to do so. Our friends and brothers in Christ need our support in worship whether or not they are able to support us in turn. We give without expecting to receive, but the wonderful truth is that we always receive more than we give, whether we realize it or not.
~Steve Wilkins, Face to Face, Meditations on Friendship and Hospitality

Amazing, Spectacular Friends Who Leave Us Speechless and Full of Gratitude

Yes, it's Jake's birthday, but I got a present in the mail today.

Look at these beauties!!

(the cracker was intentionally left in the picture to provide encouragement for other Moms and confirm that life really happens here--just like in your homes. :))

Now you may not like pink, but if you know anything about me, you know that these shoes were made for me.

Other than one pair of tennis shoes, I have never bought shoes on-line before because the thought of having to return them overrides my desire to have them.

But I do add shoes to my Amazon wish-list. It provides the opportunity for future dreaming.

I came across these cute Clark's after a fruitless shopping trip in town in search of wedges. You should have seen me and my Emma salivating over these. Pink? Clark's? Wedges? Mary Jane style, too?

But, alas, these were way out of my price range, and I couldn't justify the expense. Still I could dream.

Then I got a note from a friend in which she confessed she had been spying on reading my Amazon wish-list and couldn't resist the insane desire impulse of loving kindness to order them for me.

I cried.

So, these wonderful shoes arrived today. I was praying the whole time I was opening the box, "Please, Lord, let them fit." And they do! And they're comfy, too! And how will I not think of my dear friend every time I take a step?

Yes, I understand well Paul's declaration that he's the chief of sinners. I would also consider myself the "chief of unworthy friends" because I am the chief of sinners. And yet, God, in His kindness, gives me favor in the eyes of so many (you know who you are!), and leaves me humbled as He uses them as means of grace in my life.

Extravagant dinners. Encouraging music. Plane tickets! Hard, sharpening words of admonition and exhortation. Handmade bookmarks and blankets. Meals in a box. Flowers on my table. Forgiveness. Loyalty. Hugs. Books. Overlooking offenses. Patience. Surprise notes in the mail.

The list is astounding to me. And God sends all of these gifts in His perfect timing. 

Including pink shoes.

"God has ordained that His mercies be dispensed through human instruments, and this is most commonly done through those brethren and friends that God gives us."
~Steve Wilkins

Thank you to all my friends who spoil me and love me in ways and words, who show me the love of Christ in your giving of yourselves, and who leave me thanking God over and over for His mercies. I'm so deeply grateful.

With love,
Trisha

The Joys of Internet Friendships and the Physical Presence of Christians

First, there was Persis. I encountered her blog and immediately admired her hunger and love for the Word, her desire to glorify God in all things. To discover she lived less than an hour from my childhood home was wonderful.  When my Dad died, she and her lovely daughter graciously visited me, and we spent a brief time getting to know one another. I was comforted by knowing she was praying for me as I prepared to give my Dad's eulogy.

God also connected me with Tami. Who knew when I sent her a private e-mail that one day she'd move to my neck of the woods, hugs the necks of our children, and she and her whole family would find a most special place in our hearts?

And there's the blessing of women I've never even met who have showered me with surprise packages in the mail or letters, kindness spilled out on paper and wrapped in gifts. Ashleigh and Jill and Jojo and Jessica and Beth and Cindy and Bambi and Petra and Kim and Camille and Tricia. There are so many that I know I'm forgetting someone.

Last year Ink was blessed with the amazing privilege of spending time with my precious friend, Becky and her family in Mexico. And then we've had the joy of having her awesome Nikko stay with us for a couple of weeks.

Jon Cardwell has mentored our Ink from afar, taking an interest in his writing and encouraging him along the way. He's blessed us with books and kind words and prayers, and the thought that we might meet him and his family face to face has all of us rejoicing!

And we just finished spending an amazing 5 days with the Rues. Never having met us before, they bravely took the plunge and visited the Poff Funny Farm. We spent time drinking tea together and laughing and talking and eating and talking and eating. They joined us in family worship and witnessed a small part of our family life, and dear Stephanie made a skirt with my Emma. They loved on our children and showered us with kindness.

Deeper Roots

An important factor in online relationships growing deeper roots is that there's a desire to move beyond the web, a desire to meet one another in person and hear one another's voice, to feast together, to visit and talk of our love for the Lord and what He's doing in our lives. I think this is one goal that firmly cements the on-line connections we make and protects us from many of the dangers of only knowing one another across a screen.

The Ones Right Here With Us

"The physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer."

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

And all of His goodness displayed in His bringing me together with other brothers and sisters in Christ on the internet reminds me to treasure and nurture the great gift He's given me in the brothers and sisters who are right here with me--who worship beside me each week  and love our children and pray for us and shower us with hospitality. It is in the physical presence of other Christians that we can wash one another's feet and practically bear one another's burdens.

Because on-line relationships should never be cultivated at the expense of knowing and loving the fellow Christians God has providentially and physically put before us. Thus, it's good to ask ourselves these questions:

Am I a member of a local church, or is my fellowship with other believers limited to cyberspace?

Do I minister to my fellow church members, praying for them, sending notes of encouragement, showing hospitality?

Am I as forgiving to those right here with me as I am with those I know on-line?

Do I as easily overlook an offense from an on-line friend while nursing a grudge against ones I worship with each week?

Am I allowing a romanticization of my on-line relationships to cause a dissatisfaction with members of my local church? Have I fallen into the trap of thinking church would be so much easier if made up of my on-line friends?

Do I have as much grace in my everyday relationships as I do with those I know on the internet?

Thanks be to God for the unexpected and creative ways He draws us together. Thanks be to God for the joy of encouraging and loving and getting to know those we've connected with on-line and for the privilege of living a "common Christian life" with those Christians in our midst.

With love,
Trisha

**"common Christian life" from Bonhoeffer's Life Together

Wait! That's Part of My Heart You're Takin' to Texas!

Almost 15 years ago we moved to this desert land. That was the last time I had to leave a bosom friend behind. You know. The kind of friend with whom you don't need words, with whom you feel completely safe.

My dear friend gave me a Mary Englebreit mug when we parted. It shows one girl pulling the pigtails of another and says, "Pals." I still drink from that cup, and I never fail to think of my friend. Even now when we see each other, perhaps once every several years, it's as though we've never been apart.

Not even two years ago, God graciously gave me another friend like this. Our hearts were connected through our blogs way before she stood at my front door, before we sat on my couch together and cried over God's providence in moving her from Texas to NM. From the start, she blessed me in word and deed. I found I could trust her, and after having dealt with the very painful ending of some friendships, her kindness and steadfastness ministered so sweetly to my heart.

When I returned home from my Dad's funeral in Virginia, I was greeted by flowers from my sweet Tami. She even brought groceries over. Yes. She's THAT kind of friend. She's seen me through my Dad's death, my cousin's death, a miscarriage, church challenges, and a pregnancy and birth.

She's walked on my dirty carpet and sat on my worn couch. She's feasted in my cramped dining room and has seen my bedroom, with its piles of books and stacks of stuff.

She knows my fears. My hopes. My struggles. My longings.

She's loved on my children and laughed with them. She even LIKES them. And I know if something happened to me and my Mountain Man, she'd care for our children and love them like her own. (After the initial panic of such an increase in family size, of course.)

And her family? How much do we love them? Well, we'd vacation with them in the same house in a heartbeat. You know that's love. Her children warm my heart and her husband and Mountain Man get along together so well. Yes, my Mountain Man and our children will feel the emptiness, too.

Tami and I are classic opposites. She's a dark-eyed and dark-haired beauty, and I'm not. She was born organized, and I fight to be so to this very day. She'll eat anything except fish, and I'll eat fish and very few other things.

She's the kind of gal whose home is always spotless. Mine? Well, not so much. She's a pro at technology, having her lists on an iPad or phone, while I prefer good 'ol pad and paper. She's an extrovert with lots of friends. I'm an introvert who cautiously guards the entrance to my heart.

She balances me out, tells me like it is, points me to Jesus, over and over. And she says I do the same for her. This is the bond that hold us together, our love for Jesus, our being His hands and feet to each other and cheering each other on and picking each other up.

She's seen me at my worst and loves me anyway. She feasts daily on God's grace, so that grace spills over to me. Perhaps one of the biggest ways she's poured out this grace on me is enduring my limited availability.

Friendship with a mom of many is often different. I lost a friend once because she couldn't understand my delay in responding to an e-mail. This Mama of 9 just isn't  as available for girlfriend get-togethers. I'm not as apt to talk on the phone for extended periods of time. I'm not always able to be there when needed. In fact I know I let Tami down as she spent her first months here trying to adjust. But she continued to love me faithfully anyway.

Tonight we'll break bread together for the last time for some time. I'm piling on the waterproof mascara and will try my best not to embarrass anyone. But, my heart is stuck on my sleeve, and when Tami walks out the door tonight, a piece of my heart will go with her.

Yes, tomorrow, part of my heart will be in Texas. Not because I know and love that state, but rather because the friend who knows me, and yet, still loves me so steadfastly (which is so amazing to me!), who shines so brightly with the love of Jesus, will be there.

Of course my advice to you if you have a friend like this is to hug her real tight the next time you see her, let her know what a blessing she is, and make time to have that lunch date...real soon.

With love,
Trisha