There Came a Shortage of Future

"How many people are rationalizing the fact that they are neglecting to make any kind of home at all and failing to spend any time with their children because they are providing more or being fulfilled or doing 'good works.' It is possible to destroy the family because your home has fallen apart in the name of doing 'good works.'

There is a great need to stop as a family together, pray for a whole evening, for a whole day off together, discuss, pray, and ask God, 'Please show us before it is too late what balance we are to have in our family.'

I can say positively that the years fly past like a mist in the night. Time disappears more quickly than smoke. It is not possible to go backward. The 'now' is important if there is ever to be any family life. Steve Turner, a young English poet, has a line in his poem "Ageing" which I would like to quote from the book Tonight We Will Fake Love.

At some point in his life
There came a shortage of future

Apply to the family life this truth concerning time. Economic shortages can never compare with 'a shortage of future.'"
~Edith Schaeffer

 *****

Years ago one might have read this and immediately thought of the ways parents sacrifice their children on the altars of prosperity or career or "me time." Those are still battles, of course. But now, the digital world offers so many more ways to waste the time God has given us to teach and disciple our children for His glory.

Surely all of us have noticed the family who eats dinner out together, but who aren't really "together" because each is so busy enjoying social media. And what about the Mom who craves on-line connection and approval so much that her phone is glued to her side, and her children must fight for her attention? "Mommy, look at me." "Mommy, are you listening?" Before you know it, those little children just stop asking for Mommy's attention and simply seek it elsewhere.

It's easy to tell ourselves that today is just an exception, but before we know it, not being right here has become the pattern of our lives. And though eternity waits for all of us, be it spending it in heaven or in hell, we're all living our way to a shortage of future here on earth.

A precious friend started the day almost a month ago not knowing it was the day her 18 year old son would be absent from his body and present with the Lord.   I'm sure she's had days when she hasn't redeemed the time, but there is no doubt from the fruit in her children's lives that she has soberly considered her responsibilities to the Lord to teach her children well.

There is a season for everything, and the season of parenting our children is very short. The wise woman remembers the Gifts in her midst, the souls God has entrusted to her, and she casts off any weight that would makes these little ones stumble, that would keep her distracted and longing to be anywhere other than wholeheartedly where God has placed her.

"Mothers, look up and look ahead! Ask yourself: In five, ten, twenty, even forty years, what will I wish that I had done today?"
~Jean Fleming

With love,
Trisha

Amazing, Spectacular Friends Who Leave Us Speechless and Full of Gratitude

Yes, it's Jake's birthday, but I got a present in the mail today.

Look at these beauties!!

(the cracker was intentionally left in the picture to provide encouragement for other Moms and confirm that life really happens here--just like in your homes. :))

Now you may not like pink, but if you know anything about me, you know that these shoes were made for me.

Other than one pair of tennis shoes, I have never bought shoes on-line before because the thought of having to return them overrides my desire to have them.

But I do add shoes to my Amazon wish-list. It provides the opportunity for future dreaming.

I came across these cute Clark's after a fruitless shopping trip in town in search of wedges. You should have seen me and my Emma salivating over these. Pink? Clark's? Wedges? Mary Jane style, too?

But, alas, these were way out of my price range, and I couldn't justify the expense. Still I could dream.

Then I got a note from a friend in which she confessed she had been spying on reading my Amazon wish-list and couldn't resist the insane desire impulse of loving kindness to order them for me.

I cried.

So, these wonderful shoes arrived today. I was praying the whole time I was opening the box, "Please, Lord, let them fit." And they do! And they're comfy, too! And how will I not think of my dear friend every time I take a step?

Yes, I understand well Paul's declaration that he's the chief of sinners. I would also consider myself the "chief of unworthy friends" because I am the chief of sinners. And yet, God, in His kindness, gives me favor in the eyes of so many (you know who you are!), and leaves me humbled as He uses them as means of grace in my life.

Extravagant dinners. Encouraging music. Plane tickets! Hard, sharpening words of admonition and exhortation. Handmade bookmarks and blankets. Meals in a box. Flowers on my table. Forgiveness. Loyalty. Hugs. Books. Overlooking offenses. Patience. Surprise notes in the mail.

The list is astounding to me. And God sends all of these gifts in His perfect timing. 

Including pink shoes.

"God has ordained that His mercies be dispensed through human instruments, and this is most commonly done through those brethren and friends that God gives us."
~Steve Wilkins

Thank you to all my friends who spoil me and love me in ways and words, who show me the love of Christ in your giving of yourselves, and who leave me thanking God over and over for His mercies. I'm so deeply grateful.

With love,
Trisha

3 in 10 and A Most Handsome Sixteen

Little Big Man, who is obviously no longer little, is 16 today! Happy Birthday to our dear Jake! He's an ever-flowing fountain of joy in our home, and we praise God for the privilege of training him up in the way he should go.

Today wraps up 3 birthday celebrations in 10 days. Whew! I'm getting a bit tired, but I'm not growing weary. What a blessing to make such memories and remember God's goodness to us. Don't take your little ones for granted, dear Mamas. As they say, "The days are long, but the years are short."

With love,
Trisha

Happy Birthday Cookie Stack

This is the yummy birthday dessert Ella chose, and it was a success! The original recipe calls for using Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies, but I used our own favorite recipe which you can find here. (Don't overbake!)

You'll need 30 cookies for this beautiful stack of sweetness. Here's the recipe for the whipped filling. It makes a lot! However, I was quite reserved in my application because I didn't want the filling to be overwhelming, so that's why I had so much of it left over.

1-1/2  (8 ounce) packages of cream cheese, softened
1-1/4 c. confectioners' sugar
1 (13.6 ounce) can coconut milk
2-1/2 c. chilled heavy whipping cream

In a large bowl, beat softened cream cheese at medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth. Add confectioners' sugar and coconut milk; beat just until combined. Add cream; beat at low speed until mixture begins to thicken. Beat at high speed until very thick.

On a large serving plate, arrange 7 cookies in a circle; place 1 cookie in center of circle. Dollop 2 c. of cream mixture over cookies; gently spread over and in between cookies with a spatula. Arrange 6 cookies over cream mixture; place 1 cookie in center of circle. Dollop 2 c. of cream mixture over cookies; gently spread with spatula. Repeat procedure twice, arranging cookies closer together with each layer to form a pyramid-shaped stack. Spread remaining 2 c. of cream mixture on top of cookie stack. Cover, and chill for 1 hour or up to 4 hours. Just before serving, top with berries.
~from Celebrate magazine

Tips:

~Top with strawberries and blueberries for a festive 4th of July dessert.
~Cookies start to soften after 4 hours, so you might need to cut with a serrated knife instead of just pulling from the stack if you chill them that long.
~It's messy, but delicious. Let your children enjoy it, and don't fret over how much whipped cream they get on themselves. :)
~Customize the amount of cream used to your liking--as I said, I had a lot left over, but was pleased with the amount used on the cookies.
~The taste of coconut milk is not overwhelming. We bought the half-gallon size available in the refrigerated section of Trader Joe's.
~I chilled our cookie stack for about 2 hours. The chilling makes a big difference--don't leave that part out.

Enjoy!!

With love,
Trisha

Eight Looks Good on Her and Other Reasons This Day is Bright

Happy 8th birthday to Ella! 8 looks good on you, darling daughter! And this birthday of hers reminds me of God's mercy as I recall that after Ella's birth I was so, so ill from Crohn's that I wasn't sure if I'd ever ever walk again without a cane or know another day without enduring extreme pain. He has given me what I don't deserve, and I stand in awe of His provision.

And it's a great day all around (I know it's only 9:00, but things look very promising.)

1) Ella is 8!

2) Ink's inbox is, for the first time EVER, bigger than mine. :)

3) Today's menu includes pancakes, FRIED chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, a chocolate chip cookie stack (if I pull that birthday dessert off, well...)

4) It's the first day of our summer break!

5) We have soft water.

6) Luke is teaching Ella how to make pancakes and starts with the words: "Now for a family our size, you must double the recipe."

7) God's fed me well with His words in Isaiah.

8) I get to be home with nine of the most fabulous children and hear them argue and laugh and sing and play. I get to discipline them and encourage them and pray for them and weep for them and clothe them and feed them and clean up after them and teach them...

The past few weeks have been hard, so I'm taking the mercies of this day, this bit of a breather that the Lord has given, and I'm running with it. It's gushing water in the midst of a season in the desert, and I'm grateful for the refreshment!

With love,
Trisha

Dear Ink

My son, you know it doesn't take much for me to cry, but I wasn't prepared for the emotions I'd feel this morning when I realized it's your last day of high school. I remember agonizing over the "perfect curriculum" for you when we started our first day of school 13 years ago. It was Calvert. Expensive and more than we needed. But it made me feel like a teacher. (Because, at that point, no one reminded me that I had been your teacher from day one.)

My educational philosophy has changed greatly over the years. I could never duplicate what I did with you, for our family has changed, and I have changed. I understand so much better God's command to teach you when I rise up and when I sit down--you know, all along the way. I've surrendered those petty concerns that first consume a homeschooling mother as I see that you manage to write quite well even though you rebelled against the traditional pencil hold, and you navigate the sea of words like an expert even though I never got around to those formal writing courses. And yes, I've given up my conviction that all children should love math.

This is the moment I'd hear other mothers speak of, but because it was so far away for me, I couldn't grasp how bittersweet it would be. Those doubts are vying for attention--did we do well by you? Did we do enough?

I remember when I first whispered my concerns to you. It was an affront to you, for wondering if I had taught you well implied we weren't pleased with the man you are and continue to become. How far from true this is! But, in this sin-cursed world, guilt seems to be in the air a mother breathes, so the questions creep in, and the best weapon against them is His Word.

And His Word is where you often point me. What mother wouldn't say that her children have taught her far more than she feels she's taught them? You are no exception. You have taught me new things and reinforced those truths I already know.

You've taught me fun things, like learning to love fiction and movies and soundtracks. You've taught me that birthdays don't require cake, for pies will do just as well, if not better.

You've taught me that I second-guess myself to an extreme, and that I make hasty judgments and rulings from parent-court when I'm stressed about other things. You've taught me that two people can argue intensely about something without it coming between them, like after we've disagreed, and you say, "Hey, Mom, did you know...?"

You've taught me contentment as I've watched you cheerfully live within our means, not once complaining that our bank account wasn't bigger or that we couldn't give you more---a car, a paid-for college education, a bedroom of your own...

You've taught me submission to God's will as you've endured painful surgery and a three-year long process of healing. There was no fist-shaking from you or "why me?"

But most of all, you have taught me with your life that God is faithful and gives the increase. The grace you've extended to this wretch of a Mom, because, yes, I am, astounds me, and I know you can only give me grace because of the grace He has worked in you. John said there was no greater joy than to know his children walked in truth, God's truth, and this is our joy, too. To watch you end these high-school days as a young man who firmly grasps the truth of the gospel, who firmly clings to the truth of His Word, who loves His Savior and desires to glorify Him, is the greatest joy of our homeschooling journey with you.

God is faithful, my son. May He always find you so in whatever He calls you to do.

I love you more than you'll ever know.

Love,
Mom

If He Thinks There Might Be Tea

 

The Fading Fine Art of Fried Food

When our children shared on Mother's Day what they love about me, one of the most popular answers was "her cooking." Though I'm no gourmet chef, I'm grateful our children aren't like the ones who quipped to their mother, when eyeing the dinner set before them, "Didn't we throw up the last time you served this?" (I know! Everyone gasp together!)

I've brought my southern heritage with me to our desert life and have trained our children's taste buds (for better or for worse) to have a deep affection for home-cooked, comfort foods--foods like mashed potatoes swimming in butter, mile-high southern biscuits, sweet tea, Italian meatloaf, AND the soon-to-be-extinct fare of fried food. It's becoming a crime to heat a pan of oil up, whip up a mean batter, and dip and fry, dip and fry.

But I shall hold fast to this fine, if fading, method of cooking, for one day our children might be the last people on earth who are skilled in the proper use of Crisco or canola oil, and many will come from near and far, knocking on their doors and whispering, "We heard you serve fried food here and sweet tea. May we taste some, please?"

Alas! I indulge in a bit of hyperbole just to to tell you this: I made fried onion rings the other night, and they were a hit! For the last few of you who dare to indulge in fried food, may you enjoy these tasty golden rings of savory goodness.

Spicy Fried Onion Rings

1 large yellow onion, cut into 3/4 inch thick rings
1 c. self-rising flour
1/4 c. yellow cornmeal
1 T. hot sauce, or to taste
1/4 tsp. salt
1 c. water
6 c. canola oil

Separate onion slices into individual rings. In a large bowl, combine flour, cornmeal, hot sauce, and salt. Add water, stir with a whisk until blended. Add onion rings; gently toss.

Fill a large heavy-bottomed skillet halfway with oil. (You may not need all 6 c. of oil.) Heat oil over medium-high heat to 350 degrees. Working in batches, remove onion rings from flour mixture, allowing excess to drip off, and fry until golden brown, about 3 to 4 minutes, turning occasionally. Drain on paper towels.

If you make ahead, preheat oven to 225 degrees, and keep fried onion rings warm on a wire rack over a rimmed baking sheet for up to 30 minutes.
~recipe from Celebrate magazine

With love,
Trisha

**I never measure out oil. I just fill the pan until halfway full. I did use the timer--remember that later batches might cook a bit more quickly. I used the full amount of hot sauce, and no one thought these were overly spicy. For our family, I doubled the recipe and had a few left over. (But not all of us are onion ring lovers.)

Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

~Katharina A. von Schlegel

Destined to Be a Preacher Man?

A few signs that Jedediah, 2 (3 on Sunday!), might be destined to be a preacher-man...

1) He has the name for it, "Pastor Jedediah Poff." Yes. It just fits.

2) He always wants to be the one to pray.

3) His favorite number is 3.

4) He likes to remind me that God gives "spankings."

5) He says to me, "I thank God for you." (How to make your mother's heart melt? Be a 2 year old who says this.)

6) He feels the need to watch over his siblings' souls (ok, that's more like being a tattletale right now, but God can use this, too).

Thankful Thursday~How We Act Like Angels

Praising God is one of the highest and purest acts of religion.

 In prayer we act like men; in praise we act like angels.

~Thomas Watson

****

I'm thankful for milestones and ordinary moments. I'm thankful for children who delight in simple things, like feeding carrots to horses, or running outside. I'm thankful for a home full of books and booklovers. I'm thankful for good dental care, my faithful and hard-working Mountain Man, and Chariot wine. I'm thankful for Christian love that calls us to be forbearing and forgiving. I'm thankful for a Pastor who is wise and is deliberate in encouraging his flock. I'm thankful for late nights with older sons and early mornings in the Word. I'm thankful for those in my life who graciously honor the Lord in the midst of deep waters. I'm grateful for snail mail and good words, buttered popcorn, and "Mommy, I love you!" said many times a day.

I'm thankful I will never be done giving thanks to the Lord.

"In God we boast all the day long, and praise Thy name forever. Selah."

~Psalm 44:8

With love,

Trisha

How to Behave on Facebook

"So far as we are under its (the fear of the Lord) influence, we speak, pray, think and deal with man, as if God was standing by."

~Charles Bridges

*****

Perhaps there should be a manual for Christians to study before signing up for Facebook. You know, How to Deal with Facebook Conflict, and Not Be the Cause of It Yourself. I wonder if there's any form of social media that is so frustrating and deceptive. Maybe if C. S. Lewis were writing his Screwtape Letters today, he would have set it in a digital world and included Facebook as one of Satan's primary tools for division and contention.

I've already made several mistakes in my use of Facebook. I've given offense. I've taken offense. I've made people big and God small. I've said too much. I've said too little. I've been misunderstood, and I've misunderstood.

So, I've thought about what I would teach our younger children about navigating this turbulent sea of communication. Of course the first thing I would tell them is that wisdom is already available for how to behave on Facebook, and it's, of course, the wisdom they've been taught all these years. His wisdom. His Word.

And here would be my other suggestions:

1) Think twice: Facebook is sometimes like a maze that one can't find her way out of. Used appropriately, it is a delightful way to interact with and encourage others, but it can also be a means of drama and division. Why do you want to be there, and will you be resolved to leave if it's not an edifying use of your time?

2) Have your pastor as your friend: The restraining influence of the presence of those who shepherd us and must give an account of our souls is a blessed thing. I know not everyone has this luxury, but if you do, thank God for it.

3) Act according to your purpose: Is your FB page to promote your business or your blog? Or is it to connect with those you know? Is it a tool to share the Gospel with others? Obviously, why we're on FB affects what we share and who we will let be our "friends" and continue to be our "friends."

4) Remember to walk worthy of your calling: You belong to Jesus and your status updates and "likes" and photos should reflect this truth.

5) Keep your keyboard under Divine discipline: Ponder what you're communicating, and pray about it. Refrain from meddling and being contentious, for, as Charles Bridges explains, "A wide difference is made between 'suffering as a busybody and suffering as a Christian' ". Exhibit self-control, not letting the heat of the moment dictate the speed of your response,

"But the true peace-maker, while he deplores the strife, well knows, that interference in the moment of irritation will kindle rather than extinguish, the fire. Yet his self-control is not indifference. He commits the matter to Him whose wisdom He so greatly needs." (Bridges)

6) Remember the difference between "friends" and "friendly": Facebook has hijacked the word "friend" and morphed it into an often meaningless title. Most of the people on Facebook are not your friends. They are acting friendly towards you, but they are not with you in the trenches of everyday life, or the ones you call in the midst of a crisis. I've discovered that "friends" on Facebook are often digital versions of nosy neighbors peeking over the fence to see what the latest neighborhood gossip is. Instead of fences, though, we deliver the news via status updates. We have an obligation to be friendly with everyone. We do not have an obligation to be friends with everyone.

7) Remember your "friends" have a right to do what they will with their Facebook page: Facebook is often the forum where you discover what your "friends" really think about hot-button issues, like education and parenting and theology and politics. It's not our responsibility to correct everyone and set them straight on the issues at hand. Yes, there are those with whom we can have friendly debates, but wisdom requires knowing who they are and acting accordingly, for not everyone has a teachable spirit or thinks you're the iron that should be sharpening them.

8) Avoid talebearing and talebearers: The talebearer delights in stirring up strife and "raking up old and forgotten tales." (Bridges) Since being on Facebook, I've learned that the man who is connected with the denomination I am part of is a heretic (that would make me one, too). I've also learned that he has encouraged women to be chained to their kitchen sinks and have babies (obviously not at the same time) until their uteri fall out. Yes. This is the kind of distasteful and unChristian talk that goes on in some parts of the Facebook world. Bridges, in his wonderful commentary on Proverbs, says we should stop the talebearer in his words, "compel him to produce his authority; face him, if possible, with the subject of his tales. This decisive course will prevent a mass of slander, and put him to shame." 

I agree with this in most cases, but I also think it's wise to ask yourself if you are the one to do this. In some instances, it's better to remove yourself from the flurry of false information, and let people think of you what they will.

9) Be a peacemaker: You'll often give offense simply by being who you are and sharing what you believe. For these things, you can't apologize. But, there might be times when you've been unfriendly or unwise in your communication. If so, make it right with the offended party. Remember, too, the value of covering offenses in love, ignoring updates that make you bristle, and avoiding the temptation to censure others. And sometimes using the "unfriend" button is the most peaceable thing you can do, for yourself and for others.

10) Let Facebook be a better place because you are there: Show yourself friendly. Pray faithfully for others. Speak the truth in love. Avoid contentious "friends. Surrender the need to defend yourself at every turn. Clothe yourself in humility. Let your fear of God be BIG and your fear of man be small. Give encouraging words. Share those funny details of your day. Point to Jesus. Praise His name by speaking of His mercies. Be salt and light (remembering that some will hate you for it).

With love,
Trisha

Sarge Behind the Wheel