The Myth of the Disqualified Mama

A mother once told me she couldn't correct a great sin in her child's life because she herself committed that sin. Our conversation reminded me that our past sins are often chains that weigh us down. They bind us to parent from fear or guilt instead of from His Word. Satan uses our past to convince us we have no authority to teach our children His truths, whispering that we're only hypocrites if we tell our children not to do the very things we once did. He convinces us that ALL children do such and such or that ALL teenagers go through phases of rebellion and defiance. In other words, he affords us excuse after excuse to neglect our duties as parents. 

Yet, our struggles with past sins should encourage us all the more to parent intentionally, with much focus and vigor and grace and truth. We express the depths of our gratitude to the Lord for redeeming our own lives when we faithfully disciple the children He has given us.

I married an unbeliever. Praise God for His mercy in saving my husband. But, there are still consequences of beginning a marriage as an unequally yoked bride and groom. And this is why I can especially explain to our children that light and darkness cannot dwell together in unity.

It is because we have chosen foolishly at times, have walked in the power of the flesh instead of the power of the Spirit, that we are very qualified to warn our children of the danger of leaving His paths of righteousness. So, use those past sins for His glory and walk in thanksgiving for the life God has given you, teaching your children well.

If, then, you would deal wisely with your child, you must not leave him to the guidance of his own will. Think for him, judge for him, act for him, just as you would for one weak and blind. But for pity’s sake, give him not up to his own wayward tastes and inclinations. It must not be his likings and wishes that are consulted. He knows not yet what is good for his mind and soul any more than what is good for his body. You do not let him decide what he shall eat, what he shall drink, and how he shall be clothed. Be consistent, and deal with his mind in like manner. Train him in the way that is Scriptural and right and not in the way that he fancies.

~J. C. Ryle

Much love,

Trisha

Keep Fighting

You're in that same place with that same child once again, and you wonder if he's ever going to learn. You realize that every time you faithfully discipline him, you're fighting. Fighting for his soul. Fighting for him to master Self, so it doesn't master him for the rest of his life. Fighting against your own weariness and discouragement. You're fighting for the unseen, and it often wears you down.

Sometimes it's hard to walk this way, the way of faith, especially when we're so goal-oriented, so motivated by what we can see and touch.

But the seeing and touching isn't always immediately possible as we disciple these tender souls God has given us. When our child has sinned and been corrected but there's no fruit or repentance, it's easy for our spirits to grow heavy, weighed down by whispers of doubt.  "When will my child learn?"

We often want to do the work of the Holy Spirit. Of course, we know we can't, but our behavior and our thoughts reflect otherwise. Can you imagine how boastful and prideful we would become, how ignorant of our own sins we would be, if we could always SEE the fruit of our labors? We would actually begin to believe that this was fruit of OUR labors instead of the work of the Spirit, the grace of God.

Heart-tending is hard work. It requires more than just making a child obey.  It requires dying to ourselves, not growing weary in doing good, forbearing in love for the sometimes oft-repeated sin.  It requires humility and an utter dependence on the LORD. It requires walking by faith and not by sight, because though God in His goodness does show us the fruit of His Spirit in our children's lives, there are many days He leaves us searching.

"The Lord will sometimes strip you of the leaves of evidence to teach you to live by faith..."~Charles Spurgeon

So today when you child just doesn't seem to get it and your heart is aching because of it, when you long to see your child delight in this amazing love Jesus has for him, but he's just not moved by it, when you weep because your precious one is refusing life-giving instruction, continue walking, my friend, continue fighting for your child. 

Guard against trading God's parenting wisdom for man's. Desperate times often lead us to unwise remedies, as our hearts echo the age-old question,"Did God really say?"

Embrace the little spurts of growth that ARE happening in your child. A kind word to a sibling? Not grumbling about the food set before him? Giving a bigger piece of pie to his sister? Giving a kind word instead of an angry one? Write it down, and praise your child accordingly. "See, this is the work of the Holy Spirit in you!" "What a testimony of God's grace!" "Isn't the power of the gospel amazing?"

Love your child and keep your heart tender towards him. Repent of any bitterness and guard against letting the tiniest bit creep in. You know better than anyone when it's there.

Get serious about praying for your child. Really serious.

Remember God's patience and goodness to you, especially if you have a sin that you repeatedly battle. Remember His many mercies poured out on you.

Be faithful to know the state of your flock. Thank God for His goodness in showing you your children's sin NOW and for the privilege of training them up in the way they should go.

And trust God, our mighty God who keeps His promises, to finish this work He has started in your child and in you.

Love,

Trisha

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, God graciously brought Elijah Henry into the world. There's a whole lot of happy going on around here today as we celebrate ONE.

(No, he's not walking, yet--but he's working on it.

 And I'm fine if he takes his sweet time.)

Blessed is the Mama

Blessed is the Mama who remembers well that there are some things a baby must do for himself. 

And just to be clear, Sarge was crying FOR my spaghetti, not because of it. :)

The Fine Art of Jamming in a High Chair

When we focus on declaring praises to our God, Satan is ever ready to remind us of all that is unanswered. One must be firmly resolved to ignore those distractions and focus instead on the truths in His Word, on what He has done and what He is doing.

As I half-heartedly sat down to craft my Thankful Thursday post, life was interrupted with this joyful moment (see photos below), which followed the previous joyful moment of singing unto the Lord and discovering a new hymn. And these aren't the only joyful moments I've had this week--oh no, God has been so good to us. Every day He has affirmed His presence in some merciful way, but my flesh keeps wanting to dwell on what still is undone, on the things I have no answer for. It's tempting to let things I simply can't fix right now keep me from rejoicing in all things.

But babies and children, well, they're another story. They're not drawn to borrowing trouble. They're wired to live in the moment. When they experience a good gift, like hearing music that makes them want to move or eating a jam-filled breakfast treat, they don't worry about the scrape they might get when running down the road or whether they'll find their missing shoe. They just enjoy God's good gifts (most of the time) as they come.

It's not sloppy theology to say we can learn from everything around us. It's simply living with eyes wide open, remembering God's provision in every detail of our lives. So, I praise God for toaster pastries and Rich Mullins and the baby boy who can't resist fully enjoying both of them. And I praise God for this reminder that leaves me meditating on His goodness and mercy.

Our lot is supremely blessed. What a loving God we serve and what great things has He spoken concerning us! The soul is filled with wonder that the Almighty God should, in very deed, enter into Covenant engagements with the insects of a day who are crushed before the moth! Whatever may be our outward sorrows, yet when we consider these choice favors and enjoy them in our own souls, we may count ourselves, of all men, the most happy! How can we be so cold, so dead as we are? Such favors are enough to melt rocks and make hills sing! O my Soul, awake, and from now on and evermore pour forth loud hallelujahs unto the Lord!

~C. H. Spurgeon

With love,

Trisha

**Soundtrack provided by Rich Mullins.
**Super-cute feet and smile and hands and expressions given by God.
**Toaster pastry courtesy of Kellogg's.
**Mother-guilt about feeding a baby a pop-tart--completely nonexistent.

There Came a Shortage of Future

"How many people are rationalizing the fact that they are neglecting to make any kind of home at all and failing to spend any time with their children because they are providing more or being fulfilled or doing 'good works.' It is possible to destroy the family because your home has fallen apart in the name of doing 'good works.'

There is a great need to stop as a family together, pray for a whole evening, for a whole day off together, discuss, pray, and ask God, 'Please show us before it is too late what balance we are to have in our family.'

I can say positively that the years fly past like a mist in the night. Time disappears more quickly than smoke. It is not possible to go backward. The 'now' is important if there is ever to be any family life. Steve Turner, a young English poet, has a line in his poem "Ageing" which I would like to quote from the book Tonight We Will Fake Love.

At some point in his life
There came a shortage of future

Apply to the family life this truth concerning time. Economic shortages can never compare with 'a shortage of future.'"
~Edith Schaeffer

 *****

Years ago one might have read this and immediately thought of the ways parents sacrifice their children on the altars of prosperity or career or "me time." Those are still battles, of course. But now, the digital world offers so many more ways to waste the time God has given us to teach and disciple our children for His glory.

Surely all of us have noticed the family who eats dinner out together, but who aren't really "together" because each is so busy enjoying social media. And what about the Mom who craves on-line connection and approval so much that her phone is glued to her side, and her children must fight for her attention? "Mommy, look at me." "Mommy, are you listening?" Before you know it, those little children just stop asking for Mommy's attention and simply seek it elsewhere.

It's easy to tell ourselves that today is just an exception, but before we know it, not being right here has become the pattern of our lives. And though eternity waits for all of us, be it spending it in heaven or in hell, we're all living our way to a shortage of future here on earth.

A precious friend started the day almost a month ago not knowing it was the day her 18 year old son would be absent from his body and present with the Lord.   I'm sure she's had days when she hasn't redeemed the time, but there is no doubt from the fruit in her children's lives that she has soberly considered her responsibilities to the Lord to teach her children well.

There is a season for everything, and the season of parenting our children is very short. The wise woman remembers the Gifts in her midst, the souls God has entrusted to her, and she casts off any weight that would makes these little ones stumble, that would keep her distracted and longing to be anywhere other than wholeheartedly where God has placed her.

"Mothers, look up and look ahead! Ask yourself: In five, ten, twenty, even forty years, what will I wish that I had done today?"
~Jean Fleming

With love,
Trisha

Soft Almond Sugar Cookies

If you can eat only one of these, you have amazing self-control. These turned out just as described, although I did have to bake the later batches a bit longer (in spite of the warning not to exceed 8 minutes). No coarse sugar to roll them in? That's ok. I didn't have any, either, so I just used granulated sugar, and they still tasted delicious!

Soft Almond Sugar Cookies

1 1/2 c white sugar

2/3 c cold butter 

2/3 c shortening (room temp)

2 eggs

2 tsp almond extract

2 3/4 c cake flour

1 c all purpose flour

1 T cornstarch

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

sugar in the raw 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare baking sheet.

Cream sugar, butter and shortening.Stir in eggs and almond extract.Combine flour, cornstarch, baking powder and salt and add to butter/egg mixture.Use electric mixer to ensure dough is thoroughly combined.

Chill dough in fridge for 30 minutes.

Roll 2 tsp of dough into a ball and roll in raw sugar.  Place on prepared pan.

Bake cookies for 7 minutes.  Remove from oven and gently press rounded tops of cookies flat with the back of a spoon while the cookies are still warm and pliable.The cornstarch will keep the dough from spreading,so this step just makes them look better!

Return remaining dough to fridge in between baking each batch.

Allow to cool on pan for 1 minute.  

Remove to cooling rack. Allow to cool completely.

~DO NOT bake longer than 8 minutes!!  They may seem under-baked, but when they cool they will firm up.

You can find the original recipe with a printable option at Confections From the Cody Kitchen.

The Mama and the Glue Gun

There once was a Mama, and crafty and artistic she was not. She admired the handiwork of her fellow Mamas, how they could whip up curtains and pillows and dresses, how they would teach their children to sketch portraits and model architectural wonders with mere polymer clay.

She made grand attempts to make that crafty love flow through her veins, to come as naturally to her as her love for buttery biscuits. But, she'd always forget some key material, or fail to find the pom-poms and wiggle eyes. She secretly muttered, "I hate glitter," as she perused craft projects, distracted by dreamy visions of the next theological tome she'd tackle alongside her children.

And then she met a glue gun...


Mama+glue gun+Little People+fabric+foam+buttons+little bench from Hobby Lobby=

Yes, this Mama is a bit proud of herself and her little cottage-inspired creation. The secret is to not turn anything over, lest the attempts to wrap this foam like a Christmas package are exposed. It's a start, and maybe one day, my daughters I will learn how to do this with needle and thread.

With love,
Trisha

Pumpkin Cake Doughnuts

I'm a fried doughnut gal, myself. My Mountain Man would regularly drive me an hour away to the Krispy Kreme when they first opened here. But who can resist the speed and minimal mess of baked doughnuts?

So, I finally caved in and bought some doughnut pans that were on clearance at Target. I know. Doughnut pans rank up there with bread machines, as far as the"experts" are concerned. In other words, they're thought to be a waste of time and kitchen space. However, in our home, the bread machine makes a lot of dough, and these doughnut pans will get a lot of use.

I tried them out for the first time this morning when I made these pumpkin cake doughnuts. The recipe is supposed to yield only 12 doughnuts, but I baked 30 from it, and these aren't minis, so who knows what I did wrong. The most time consuming part of doughnut-making is filling the tins and spreading out the mix.

These turned out great and would make a great addition to your tea time. :)

Enjoy!

Pumpkin Cake Doughnuts
adapted from King Arthur's recipe

1/2 c. canola oil
3 large eggs
1-1/2 c. sugar
1-1/2 c. canned pumpkin
1-1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice (or 3/4 tsp. cinnamon plus heaping 1/4 tsp. each of ground nutmeg and ground ginger)
1-1/2 tsp. salt
1-1/2 tsp. baking powder
1-3/4 c. + 2 T. all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease two standard doughnut pans. (You can also use a standard muffin pan and make muffins.)

Beat together the oil, eggs, sugar, pumpkin, spices, salt, and baking powder until smooth.

Add flour, stirring just until smooth.

Fill the well of the doughnut pans about 3/4 full.  Bake doughnuts for 15-18 minutes, or until cake tester inserted into the center of one comes out clean. (Muffins will take about 23-25 minutes.)

Remove donuts from oven, and let cool for about 5 minutes. Remove from pans, and sprinkle both sides with cinnamon sugar. (KA suggests shaking the doughnuts in a bag of cinnamon sugar, but I just couldn't risk having them break into pieces!)

They can be stored at room temperature for several days.


With love,
Trisha

Lemon Bread

My body has finally surrendered to this cold that's been traveling through our family. It is a mercy from the Lord, though, that He's kept me healthy while most everyone else was sick. When Mama is down for the count, it's a comfort to have older ones who can manage life.

I'm not confined to the bed, yet, so I managed to get lemon bread made this afternoon. It seemed like the perfect companion to the hot cups of tea I can't drink enough of. And don't fret if you don't have enough zest or fresh lemon juice. This time around I only added about a teaspoon of zest, and I used Real Lemon juice instead. It still tasted wonderful!

Enjoy!

Lemon Bread

2/3 c. butter, softened
1-1/2 c. sugar
3 T. lemon juice
2 T. freshly grated lemon zest
4 eggs
1/4 tsp. vanilla
3 c. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1-1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. milk
2 c. diced, dried cranberries or fresh or frozen blueberries, raspberries, blackberries

Glaze:
1/2 c. powdered sugar
1/2 c. lemon juice

Preheat over to 350 degrees. Coat 4 mini loaf pans or 2 regular size ones. Spray with Baker's Joy for a perfect release. :)

Cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in lemon juice, zest, eggs, and vanilla until well combined.

In separate bowl stir together flour, baking powder, and salt. Add alternately with the milk to the egg mixture, beating just until combined after each addition. Fold in berries, if using.

Divide batter among pans and bake for 30-40 minutes if making mini-loaves. I make the regular size loaves and start checking them around 25 minutes. Remove loaves to wire rack, but leave in the pans.

Make glaze and pour over hot loaves, allowing them to cool completely before removing them from pans. Wrap tightly to store.

~original recipe found at Stick to Your Hips. (Gotta love that blog name...)

With love,
Trisha

Sweet Rolls

Delight-full

No Cookie Cutter Children

"A herd approach that stuffs all children into the same mold denies God's marvelous creativity in designing each child for the things He has purposed for him/her."

~Susan Hunt




It's sometimes presumed that because I have several children, I must know quite a bit about parenting.  To some extent that's true.  In many ways it's not.

I can share with you the value of organization and of having a routine to your days. I can assure you that late potty training won't ruin your child and tell you not to worry when your daughter first writes her name and it's backwards.  I can tell you to hold on loosely to your things and expect them to get damaged and torn and broken.  I can tell you it's not a sin to use a pacifier.

I can tell you that there is no perfect curricula when it comes to homeschooling and that simple faithfulness goes a long way.  I can share with you the benefits of working together as a family and not allowing isolation to invade your home.  I can tell you that all of your instruction and training of your children must be based on God's Word.  You must speak it, think it, and live it before your children.

But, I can't offer you a step-by-step parenting program that will work with every one of your children.

Of course God gives us wisdom in His word, and we should not neglect those specific instructions.  In our home there are certain sins that have definite consequences, disobedience being one of them.  God is very clear about boundaries, and He gives us commands and not suggestions.  But training up our children in they way they should go also requires knowing their hearts.  It means having faith in God and His faithfulness and not in a system.

Systems breed arrogance and often encourage laziness.  We crave them because we want to parent on auto-pilot.  We want to be assured of an outcome instead of trusting God.

To know my children's hearts means knowing in what areas they are tempted to sin, knowing those back doors that Satan might use to encourage bondage to a specific sin.  It means noting their strengths and their weaknesses, their struggles and their gifts.  It means relating to them as individuals made in the image of God.  It means, as author Susan Hunt aptly puts it, knowing how God has "wired" them.

Knowing that each child is different keeps me humble before the face of God.  It keeps me focused on Him and not my own understanding.  It keeps me diligent to tend to their hearts and not trust in only externals.  It keeps me ever reliant on and ever amazed by His grace. 

With love,

Trisha

Buttermilk Oven-Baked Pancakes

These are so easy that if you never make pancakes for your family, you truly have no excuse now. :) Yum! Yum! Yum!

Buttermilk Oven-Baked Pancakes

1-1/2 c. all purpose flour
2 T. sugar
1 t. baking soda
1 t. baking powder
1/4 t. salt
1 egg, beaten
1-1/2 c. buttermilk
3 T. oil
cinnamon-sugar to taste

Mix together flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl combine egg, buttermilk, and oil; add to dry ingredients. Stir until just mixed, but lightly lumpy. Spread batter evenly in a greased and floured (use Baker's Joy!) 15x10 jelly-roll pan. Sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar to taste. Bake at 350 degrees for 16-18 minutes, until top springs back when lightly touched and edges are lightly golden. Cut into squares and serve with butter and maple syrup. 4-6 servings.
~Gooseberry Patch

**I doubled the recipe and baked it in Pampered Chef bar pans, one large and one small. Yes, lightly lumpy, but be sure to break up clumps of baking powder and soda.

With love,
Trisha

32

"An architect draws his plans and makes out his specifications; even so did the great Maker of our frame write down all our members in the book of His purposes...when as yet there were none of our members in existence, all those members were before the eye of God in the sketch-book of His foreknowledge and predestination."
~C.H. Spurgeon

Pink, Blonde, and Blue

***It seems some children like the camera. Claire is one of them. I didn't have to coach her on any of these shots. It was just a morning pajama-clad photo shoot. Be still my heart. :)

We Are Pens and Swords, but Not the Holy Spirit

No, let me solemnly say that, with all the instruction you may give to your children, you must always be deeply conscious that you are not capable of doing anything in the securing of the child's salvation but that it is God Himself who, from the first to the last, must effect if all. You are simply a pen: God can write with you, but you cannot write anything by yourself. You are a sword: God can slay the child's sin with you, but you cannot slay it of yourself.

Therefore, always be mindful of this, that you must first be taught by God yourself. Then you must ask God to use you to teach, for unless a higher Teacher than you works with you to instruct the child, the child must perish. It is not your instruction that can save the souls of your children; rather it is the blessing of God the Holy Spirit accompanying and blessing your labors.

May God bless and crown your efforts with abundant success! He will surely do so if you are instant in prayer, constant in supplication. Never yet did the earnest teacher or preacher "labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the LORD" (Isaiah 65:23). Often has it been seen that bread cast upon the waters has been found after many days (Ecc. 11:1).
~C.H. Spurgeon, Spiritual Parenting

I'm How Old?

Some of us might cover our ears when we know another birthday is approaching, but that's not why Cap'n is tuning out the noise. The Roofers arrived yesterday, and while we all praise God for the banging and hammering and lovely sounds of work-in-progress, Cap'n was a bit perplexed by it all. This was his way of coping.

There's no doubt that instead of covering his ears today, we'll find him doing something reckless like eating cake batter, his own cake batter. He'll perhaps be perplexed again by all of the big smiles that greet him at every turn and the irresistible tendency to raise the pitch of our voices as we say, "Happy Birthday, Jedediah. You're two today!" at least a few hundred times.

A reliable source says there might be dinosaur and army men sightings, all of the plastic persuasion, of course.

And as you think of us having the joy of yet another birthday celebration this month, perhaps battling your own desire to go back to the days of "two", would you please remember to pray that God would hold back any rain until Tuesday? Our roof is a bit exposed until Monday. Dry would be nice. Very nice.


Off to bake some cake,
Trisha

A Few Things I've Learned About Naming Babies

I've learned a few things after naming a few babies in the last few years. :)

1) As soon as you pick a name that isn't on the top 10 baby names list, it will soon be on the top 10 baby names list. Examples: Emma, Ella, Claire

2) At least one person will strongly dislike the name you pick, and at least one person will be bold enough to let you know. It might even be your friend's distant cousin, but it will be someone.

3) Baby naming is fun, and it's a privilege. We should consider well the name we're giving our children. It's theirs for life.

4) When babies are born, they often look just like the name you picked.

5) A good name doesn't come just from a great sounding name, but from who your child is in Christ and how they live for Him all the days of their lives. How many parents invest more time and thought into picking the "perfect" name than they do in training their children up for His glory?

6) If you like a name, even if no one else cares for it, stick with it. It will grow on them, and one day, they'll look at your fill in the blank and not be able to imagine her with any other name.

And now for this Sweet Baby Boy's name.....

Elijah Henry

Elijah means "The LORD is my God". Oh, it is our wish that this precious son, and all of our children, will say that all the days of their lives.

Henry is in honor of Matthew Henry, the great preacher and Bible commentary author. The set I have was passed down to me by my Dad, who read Henry's thoughts almost every day, as I do now. I've been blessed by Henry's book on prayer as well as his Family Religion, and I'm looking forward to diving into Matthew Henry by Allan Harman.

The Winner:

Thanks to all who had fun with me and guessed the name. And the winner is...

Persis 

Congratulations!

With love,
Trisha

Only a Mom

Only a Mom would send her daughter 6 bags of the coveted Bar-B-Q Fritos across the miles without a thought of the cost of postage. (That's a big deal since I can't buy these in our part of the country! )

Only a Mom would say she got "a little something" for Sweet Baby Boy, when she actually bought him quite a few things.

And only a Mom would do that when she's feeling so poorly and most everything is a struggle.

Thank you so much, dear Mama! I love you, and I appreciate every bit of sacrifice you poured into this blessing!