Goodbye, Blogger

You can find me here now. I'm still doing some housekeeping and importing photos, but all of my posts are at my new home, thanks to some very dear friends. Hopefully, things will be more user and reader friendly at my new address.

With love,
Trisha

Christian Discernment and Candace Cameron as a Model of Modesty

Controversy, bad theology, and depressing news are just a few of the reasons I try to avoid checking e-mail or getting on the internet first thing in the morning. Stuff like that tends to make my heart beat a bit faster, I get distracted from my priorities, and I get worked up and feel compelled to fight a battle that usually isn't mine.

But this battle is an important one, for us and our children.

Today's fast-hearbeat-inducing-story has to do with the highly praised Candace Cameron. She's acclaimed for maintaining standards of modesty while dancing with another man in a sensual manner on a show called Dancing With the Stars. And because she doesn't look exactly like the typical DWTS dancer, we're praising her. Yay! Finally here is a model of modesty.

And here we are speaking from both sides of our mouths as we tell our children to be in the world but not of it and then praise "stars" like this for their bit of restraint. There is no dying to self going on here, my friends, just because Cameron decides not to let it all hang out and doesn't get as sensual as she could while dancing with a man who is not her husband.

You can do your own search to see a clip of her dancing as well as pictures of her rehearsal outfit. Both instances should lead us to question why we think she's a role model of modesty and why her husband isn't bothered by her intimate moves with another man. And both should cause us to wonder why we're so easily pleased, and what kind of hypocrites we are to teach our daughters about modesty but embrace Cameron's very immodest heart and appearance.

Are we dwelling so much in the darkness that we don't know the light? Do we have such a low view of holiness that we've lost sight of what it really means to shine as a bright light in this very dark world?

With love,
Trisha

The Rudder of My Days

"The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day."

~Henry Ward Beecher

Rudder~"that which guides or governs the course"

Webster's 1828

What shall be the rudder of this day?

This day You've given me. This day full of new mercies.  This day that sings of Your grace.

This day I will never have again.

How will I spend this first hour? 

Will it be on rabbit trails on the computer or chats on social media?

Will it be spent blogging my own thoughts or being inspired by the thoughts of great men?

Will it be the reading the latest news or witty political commentary or theological debates?

Will it be doing another load of laundry and the many urgent tasks that call my name?

Or will it be Your words that guide and govern me? The Voice of Truth. The Way of Wisdom.

The One Who truly shows me how to love my children better, what to think of the latest news, how to spend my time wisely. The One Who shows me how to have a quiet and gentle spirit in the midst of things undone and many needs to meet. These words of life that transform me and renew my mind, that I may glorify You in all things and walk steadfastly in wisdom's way.

These words that are profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for instruction in righteousness.

Oh, Heavenly Father, let me desire Your guidance and governing above all.  Let Your Words of life be the rudder of my days. Let them be my first desire when I wake and my soul's food all the day long.

With love,

Trisha

Just Enough

Too many times I've forgotten to check the ingredients before preparing a recipe only to discover I had "just enough" of something. What a relief that often is, especially when you're far into the recipe, the items are costly, and guests are on the way.

And "just enough" describes how God often deals with us.

For the Israelites, God provided "just enough" manna for the day. Hoarding reaped gross consequences. They had to trust the Lord would provide.

I know what it is to have just enough gas for the car until payday or just enough money to pay the bills.

I'm thankful when things last just long enough to replace them. The water heater. The car with over 200,000 miles. The years-old dishwasher. The worn clothing.

I'm thankful for just enough strength to not grow weary at the end of a long day, or in the midst of an overwhelming trial.

"Just enough" is a most fertile soil for growing faith and cultivating gratitude. It's a prime spot for worship.

When we have "just enough," our eyes stay fixed on Him. We remember Who provides. We remember how fragile our frames are, and how great our God is. 

In our mixed up world, "just enough" is considered not enough, and it sure isn't how we would describe abundant living. We want to be prepared for years to come, know how things will always turn out, and stuff our pockets full of self-sufficiency.

But God's economy is different, and in giving us "just enough" of what we need each day, He offers us truly rich living. Rich in faith. Rich in thankful hearts. Rich in complete dependence on Him. And His provision always leaves us satisfied.

What encouragement!  No matter what our trial, our heartache, our need, God will provide, and His "just enough" will always be plenty.


With love,
Trisha

Because Mothers Are Always On Call

“Mothers are always on call, expected to have all the answers and limitless energies. They’re supposed to do everything; it’s taken for granted. How can you be and do everything expected of you? What you need is a habitual sense of the presence of God. Think that Almighty God, who created the stars and keeps the seasons revolving in perfect rhythm, is there in your kitchen, in your bathroom, in the laundry room, in the grocery store. Mothers, be prepared for an arduous struggle. Your calling is impossible without prayer, the comfort and instruction of the Scriptures and fellowship in your church.”

~Elisabeth Elliot

5 Stumbling Blocks to Obeying God's Will

Lately I've been pondering life changes and wrestling with difficult circumstances and understanding God's will. And though some things are still unclear, and fear keeps creeping in, I understand a bit better why our decision making  gets so tangled.

1) God's will doesn't always feel good. We're in deep with the world and its belief that we should only do what feels good. But, as Christians, we're still at war with our flesh, which means obedience brings resistance. It feels good to obey God when His plans line up with ours, but what about when His will means the surrendering of our hopes and dreams?

2) Some of our friends will tempt us to take the road often traveled. This is the friend who cares more about comfort and ease than about sanctification. This is the friend who lives in "deserve" mode. Life is all about deserving a break, not about dying to self. She'll list your many sacrifices, as though sanctification is accomplished in 10 Easy Lessons instead of a lifetime of daily taking up one's cross.

3) We equate obeying God's will with a "good outcome". After Paul is blinded on the road to Damascus, and Ananias is told to minister to him, God declares that He is going to share with Paul the things he will suffer in Christ's name. The things he will suffer. He didn't say, "Paul has obeyed, and there will now be no hard days or challenges or pain." Obeying God does bring blessing, but it's not always the blessings we think of. Obedience doesn't always bring reconciliation or peace or more money or a bigger house or less difficult people in our lives. Sometimes the blessing is the gift of resting in the joy that you are honoring God and being made more like Christ even when everything around you is unpleasant or downright hard.

4) Our hearts are deceitful. I've sometimes clearly known God's will about something, not because I had a vision in the night, but because I read His Word and cried out to Him in prayer, and yet, I still resist doing it. My heart whispers that I must be the exception and the surely God wouldn't want me to have to work so hard. My heart lists all the reasons I can't obey, when the truth is that I don't want to obey. Perhaps our struggle with knowing is more of a struggle with obeying.

5) We leave no room for faith and trust.  My life is one big Ebenezer of God's providing in the most unexpected ways. And yet, I'm still tempted to listen to the naysayers who plan everything out and have no time for faith and trust. They think they're simply being prudent, yet all of their plan-making is often a cover for not believing God will wisely direct their paths. How does our faith and trust increase if we never take that step into the unknown? Why do we cry out for daily bread, but put our confidence in the world's wisdom or our preparations or our bank account?

The good news is that God is faithful to give us wisdom when we cry out for it. We have His word right before us, and we have His ear. And though obedience might not bring joy and peace right away, the surrender eventually becomes sweet, and we're able to praise Him for keeping us from leaning on our own understanding.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

With love,
Trisha

So Much Home-Work

Spiritual pride is very apt to suspect others; whereas a humble saint is most jealous of himself; he is so suspicious of nothing in the world as he is of his own heart. The spiritually proud person is apt to find fault with other saints, that they are low in grace, and to be much in observing how cold and dead they be, and crying out of them for it; and to be quick to discern and to take notice of their deficiencies: but the eminently humble Christian has so much to do at home, and sees so much evil in his own heart, and is so concerned about it, that he is not apt to be very busy with others' hearts; he complains most of himself, and cries out of his own coldness and lowness in grace, and is apt to esteem others better than himself.
~Jonathan Edwards

Either a Mercy or a Wonder

To be thankful doesn't mean we're denying hard providences or pretending our lives are problem-free. But it does mean we're obeying, and we're trusting that God is keeping His promise to use all things for our good. 

I'm thankful for God's current means of sanctification in our lives:

Mountain Man's prolonged recovery from dental work--infection, dry socket, continued pain.

The painful work that must often be invested in our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ --to be at unity with one another isn't optional, but it is God's will, even though it often doesn't feel good and requires more effort than I want to give.

That daily battle with the flesh and the reluctance to put off the old 

and put on the new.

And I'm thankful for those daily wonders that refresh us:

The oldest and youngest taking a walk

Finally! Ink's graduation feast

Happy faces

One BIG strawberry shortcake

Guys in bowties

An amazing shot of the moon captured by Luke

The Littles breaking in our new couch with some book-time

Hashed Potato Pie

A single serving of deep dish chocolate chip cookie ready in five minutes in a microwave oven 

"Yeah, I'm cute" expressions

Brother helping brother

And the unseen gifts of forgiveness and repentance and daily provision of all we need to glorify the Lord and grow in grace

There is never a providence of God, but has either a mercy or a wonder in it.

~Thomas Watson, All Things for Good

With love,

Trisha

No, Look This Way, Brother

Before He Leaves

She rises up 

as morning breaks

She moves among these rooms alone 

Before we wake

And her heart is so full

It overflows

She waters us with love

And the children grow

So many years from now

Long after we are gone

These trees will spread their branches out

And bless the dawn.

~Andrew Peterson, "Planting Trees"

******

I wasn't listening very well when older and wiser Mamas shared how hard the leaving would be. Perhaps as in so many cases, I thought I'd be the exception, or perhaps I simply didn't know how quickly my time would come.

His fingerprints disappeared from our walls a long time ago, and as I write this, I have approximately 63 days left with Ink. He'll start a new chapter of his life, in a different state, with beloved friends of ours. God-willing, he'll return for one last Thanksgiving and then pack up his belongings and move to the place where he'll set up his own first home.

I have a countdown clock on my computer and an ever-growing to-do list. Now, don't think me morbid; these are simply tools to help me redeem the time.

A few of the things to do before he leaves?

1) Bake more fruity snacks--pies, muffins, scones.
2) Purchase fine stationery to write him letters while he's away.
3) Take one last family picture with him.
4) Have him inscribe all of the books he's given me.
5) Send a list of his favorite things to the dear family who will be spoiling  hosting him.
6) Buy a photo album and fill it with pictures of us.
7) Watch as many movies as he wants me to over the next couple of months.
8) Snatch as many hugs as he'll let me over the next couple of months.
9) Make his favorite meals, such as seafood chowder, barbecue ribs, stuffed peppers.
10) Schedule dental cleaning.
11) Focus on any last-minute life skills.
12) Measure his height on the door jamb one last time.
13) Take a picture of him standing next to the tree we planted for him in our front yard.
14) Have his siblings write love notes to him.
15) Make a list of care package items to send him.
16) Take one last family trip together.

Samuel Johnson said, "Value is more frequently raised by scarcity than by use. That which lay neglected when it was common, rises in estimation as its quantity becomes less. We seldom learn the true want of what we have till it is discovered that we can have no more. ... There are few things, not purely evil, of which we can say, without some emotion of uneasiness: This is the last." 

How happy we are for Ink, as God has answered our prayers abundantly, in ways we could not have imagined. The leaving is on good terms and is for the embracing of good things. And yet, my heart thinks much about the "lasts" of these days, and how the leaving of one family member shifts the entire dynamic of our daily living.

As I was making my list, I was deeply grateful that there were some things I didn't need to add. These are the things that God, in his grace, has kept me doing over these past 18 years. I don't have to scramble to teach Ink about God or the Bible or the Gospel or walking in wisdom's way. I don't have to teach him to work out his salvation with fear and trembling or give thanks to God for His mercies or to repent and forgive. No doubt, we're always growing in these areas, and Ink will be challenged and afflicted as the Holy Spirit faithfully makes him more like Jesus, and there are certainly things I wish we could do over as his parents, BUT, the foundation has been laid.

Don't give up, my fellow Mamas. It's so easy to forget about eternity and live only for now. But one day you will reap the beautiful fruit of faithfulness and obedience or the rotten fruit of a life lived unto Self instead of unto Him. And though nothing is impossible with God, and He brings the prodigals home, why not be the best steward this very day and the next and the next, of these precious souls He's given you, praying that when the leaving comes, it comes with joy and thanksgiving.

With love,
Trisha

Celebrate the Small Things

We often take for granted the warm body sleeping beside us, 

the quiet, uneventful evening, or the too quickly passed cacophonous ones

 if we're in the season of life known as the child rearing years. 

Take time to celebrate the small things that make us fall in love, 

and stay in love, and weave us strongly together.

~Dr. George Grant

Always Second Guessing

"Strong passions without a settled judgment, commonly produce weak resolutions."

~Matthew Henry

"Thoughts ripened into resolves by serious consideration are likely to be 
kept always in the imagination of the heart, whereas what is soon ripe is soon rotten."
~Matthew Henry

*****

You've been having family worship for a long time now. It's crazy sometimes, but in a world that encourages family members to live independently of one another and to forget the One who gives them every good thing, this concentrated family time of singing and prayer and Bible reading ties heartstrings and keeps you focused on eternity.

Then you read THE article. The one telling you that there's nothing in the Bible that commands us to have family worship. It's enough to talk with your children about the Christian life throughout the day.

You've finally settled into daily times of Bible reading and prayer. You're amazed at how much you hunger for the Word now, and even on those mornings when your start is slow, you're thankful for the habit you've made to hear His words first.

Then you read THE article. How silly for Christians to put themselves in such bondage to a completely unscriptural principle as the "quiet time." Free yourself!

You love to care for your home. You delight in the smell of homemade bread and watching little people rush to devour the work of your hands. You linger over a freshly cleaned kitchen, and you're amazed at your daughter's skill with a sewing machine.

Then you read THE article. The one that mocks mothers in their aprons making homemade bread, accusing them of forgetting grace and looking to the domestic arts for their salvation. Don't you know salvation is by grace, not by a Kitchen-Aid mixer?

Though many of these articles focus on a legalistic attachment to some of the things we do, all too often, we interpret them as a solid case AGAINST a practice or perspective. We worry that we've been wrong to have family worship all of this time (and actually teach our children that they should do this with their families), or train our children in the habit of independent time in the Word each day, or bake our own bread while wearing an apron. 

This is why it's essential to know why we do what we do and to teach the WHY to our children. When our practices are not thought out, but are rather the product of what's trending on the internet or in books or magazines, we're building our lives on a shaky foundation that crumbles in the presence of any opposing views. We find ourselves habitually changing course and chronically second-guessing everything we do. What kind of legacy is that to pass on to our children? 

Second-guessing is an inherent complication of information overload. It's the result of having too many opinions in our faces, and our relying too much on others to think for us.

It's not so much a reflection of a teachable spirit, but instead the consequence of lazy reasoning. Because we haven't thought our practices through, we're easily swayed by the next eloquent writer who comes along, being tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine or some woman's declaration of "freedom" from ____________ (fill in the blank).

Instead of spending more time second-guessing everything we're doing, from family worship to quiet times to modest dress and more, let's spend time making sure we know WHY we do what we do. Let's dig deep in the Word and think through our principles and convictions and preferences. And then confidently, without apology, teach them to our children.


With love,
Trisha

River, Geyser, or Meteor

Friendship can take different turns--it can run like a river, quietly and sustainingly through life; it can erupt like a geyser, forcefully and intermittently at times; or it can explode like a meteor, altering the atmosphere so that nothing ever looks, feels, or functions the same again.
~Ansel Adams

The Ordinary Arts

photo copyright: poffclan

Good Grief! BBQ Chicken Pizza

I love making new recipes for my Mountain Man, because when he really loves something he lets me know with memorable exclamations. I tried this recipe on Claire's birthday, and "Good grief!" were the first words out of my Beloved's mouth after taking his first bite. I think that's a perfect name for this yummy pizza.

Good Grief! BBQ Chicken Pizza

1 12 inch pre-baked pizza crust 

3 boneless chicken breast halves, cooked and cubed

1 c. barbecue sauce

1 T. honey

1 tsp. molasses

1/3 c. brown sugar

1/4 c. fresh chopped cilantro

1 c. shredded smoked Gouda cheese

1 c. thinly sliced red onions

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Place pizza dough on greased pizza pan and brush dough with olive oil. Bake for 10 minutes. (This is pre-baking.)

In a large saucepan over medium heat, combine cooked chicken, barbecue sauce, honey, molasses, brown sugar, and cilantro. Bring mixture to a boil. Remove from heat, and spread mixture evenly over pizza crust. Top with shredded Gouda cheese and sliced red onion. Bake 10-15 minutes more, until cheese is melted.

(adapted from Pizza for Every Meal and Occasion)

I made this simple bread machine crust, shared by Hillybilly Housewife. While we usually prefer thin crust, a regular crust worked well with this very saucy pizza. 

I also used fully cooked slices of chicken fajita meat, cutting the strips into smaller pieces. The onions were diced instead of thinly sliced, and they worked just fine.

Enjoy!

With love,

Trisha

Five Things

Our Clairesy is 5 today. 5.

Life today will include omelets for breakfast, pizza for dinner, and a vanilla cream cake fancied up to make a princess quite happy.

Yesterday at breakfast when we were talking about Clairesy's birthday being just a day away, I mentioned that this year there would be no gifts for birthdays, but we would have cake and special food for her special day. She just looked up at me with a smile, nodded her head, and said, "Oh, ok."

Yeah. That's the kind of sweetie she is.

But, of course, there will be gifts for Clairesy!

And just what do we love about our little girl?

1) She is a bundle of joy and full of laughter, scattering smiles wherever she goes.

2) She asks me every Sunday, "May I go with you wherever you go?"

3) She loves nurturing her baby brothers.

4) She's funny, as demonstrated yesterday when she shared with us the "point" of our pastor's sermon on Matthew 18: 1-9, "I know the point! You're to cut off the rest of your body."

5) She's creative and can make a bountiful time of play with the everyday things around her.

Happy 5th birthday, Cutie-Pie! We love you and thank God for you!

Notes From Home

Allie has been with us for over a week, and our time together has been delightful. We're trying to enjoy these last few days to the fullest. I've pinched her at least a hundred times to make sure she's real.

She graciously helped Emma sew a skirt that she's been waiting to make for over two years now. Isn't it lovely?

I've been thinking much about how hard it is for Christians to rejoice with one another. I think the pagans are much better at that than we are. And I think these words from Michael O'Brien, in his book Island of the World, describe well one of the problems with church families not being able to disagree, even fight, and still make up and love one another and forgive.

"Yes! Minds and hearts alive!," Simon continues. "Here, we can struggle and debate and disagree because we are free to speak in an open forum. We are fighting and thinking because we trust one another."

Maybe we don't trust each other very much, and maybe we don't trust God and His wisdom in putting us in the church families we're in. 

I've been using Professor Horner's Bible Reading System since the beginning of the year, and I love it! I timed myself for the month of January, just to get an idea of how long it takes for an average reader to read ten chapters of the Bible. I finished every time in less than 30 minutes, and most often in less than 25. I jot down the verse references I want to return to and do my studying after reading all of the chapters. Even in this short time of using this system, I've obtained a familiarity with my Bible that amazes me.

I finally made a roasted tomato soup that was a hit. It's so simple, and I like that it calls for fresh tomatoes instead of canned ones. BUT, I'd love to know if you have a favorite homemade tomato soup, please, canned tomatoes or not! 

Roasted Tomato Soup

8 medium tomatoes
olive oil
pinch of salt
1 c. chicken broth
3/4 c. heavy cream
1/2 tsp. thyme

Preheat oven to 200 degrees. Core tomatoes, and rub the outsides with a little olive oil. Sprinkle some salt in the center. Place tomatoes on a jelly-roll pan, and roast for approximately 4 hours. The tomatoes won't be burned, but browned. Refrigerate until ready to use. Peel skin off roasted tomatoes. In a blender, add the remaining ingredients, and process until you get the texture you like. Pour soup into a saucepan, and heat till nearly boiling. Enjoy!
 (recipe from Leanne Ely's Saving Dinner the Low-Carb Way)

Have I mentioned my favorite wine before? Here it is. Chariot. I've only found it at Trader Joe's. If you ever decide to visit the Poff Funny Farm, you'll get extra chocolates on your pillow at night if you show up with a bottle of this.

All of Ink's siblings adore Allie. And they're always trying to get in the middle, too. Here Elijah is quite successful. And super-cute, as well.

My morning routine usually starts before the sun rises. I always gasp a bit when I get to see His handiwork of breathtaking colors for that brief moment in time before it all disappears.

This month marks the 5 month anniversary of my brother-in-law's death. My heart rejoices every time I speak to my sister and hear joy in her voice. It has been a hard 5 months, and the days ahead will continue to be hard, but God has sustained her. She has many Ebenezers to remind her of His goodness.

Our family prayer this year is Romans 12:9-13, and my word for the year is TRUST. And this month we're memorizing 1 Corinthians 13 again.

Finally, I like this reminder from Anna Quindlen.

"It is so easy to waste our lives: our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the pale new growth on an evergreen, the sheen of the limestone on Fifth Avenue, the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of live."

And as Christians, it's so easy to get caught up in being busy, even busy with very good things, that we forget how blessed we are, how many mercies God is pouring out on us every minute of every day.

Mercies like sunrises, roasted tomato soup, home and family, godly future spouses for our children, church families, wine, fabric and sewing machines, and trusted friends.

With love,
Trisha

Happy, Happy!

Happy, happy day here, it is! Allie, the lovely young woman Ink is courting, arrived today.

It Doesn't Come Naturally~9 Ways to Teach Our Children Contentment

Shakespeare said, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!" It's true. If there's one sin in my own children's lives that tempts me to sin, it is ingratitude. "Look at all that God has done for you!" "How can you be so ungrateful, murmuring about what you don't have while forgetting the bounty of His goodness?"

And I'd like them to master contentment in five easy lessons. 

But here I am still learning it myself, as evidenced by the ease with which I think hard thoughts of God or forget yesterday's mercies or dismiss today's provision. 

We work hard to teach our children many things, and yet, we forget that contentment must be learned, too. It is a lifelong battle, for surely as the Holy Spirit has sanctified us in one area, and we've made our peace with a trial or an illness or another thorn in our side, He will faithfully show us other ways in which we are thankless children of God. We complain about our children's complaining and then throw those quiet temper tantrums in our hearts because God is not doing what we think is best for us.

"Do not indulge, any of you, the silly notion that you can be contented without learning, or learn without discipline; it is not a power that may be exercised naturally, but a science to be acquired gradually!"

~C. H. Spurgeon

So, how do we teach our children contentment, remembering it's just the beginning of a lifetime of learning?

Pray for them. Pray for wisdom and blessing on our efforts. Pray for patience and mercy and lovingkindness to clothe our correction.

Consistently discipline their murmurings and disputings, being mindful not to reward their discontentment.

Teach them to treasure our correction of them and the Lord's chastisement.

Guard against all kinds of complaining, including complaints about the weather and the traffic and the spilled milk and those many "little" things we think excuse our murmurings. Confess our own struggles with discontentment and repent to them when necessary.

Instruct them in the Word and in prayer.What does God say about murmuring? What happened to those who indulged in this sin? Have them hide Scriptures in their hearts that will help them fight the temptation to complain. Teach them to battle this sin on their knees.

Teach them about God's sovereignty, and the truth that He is always doing us good. Teach them with words, but mostly with how we submit to His will for our own lives.

Refrain from manipulating circumstances so that our children are never unhappy or without.

Teach them the discipline of habits and mastering Self and cheerfully choosing to do those things they don't want to do, including chores and math lessons.

Model gratitude by counting God's mercies together. Write them down. Read over them again and again. Celebrate them.

With love,
Trisha

Big and Little

Can you guess the unexpected bonus in this picture?

C'mon. Look carefully.

The socks! The socks!

Sarge has matching socks!

The Cutting Fields

I'm not sure how much of my nose I'll have left when I'm 60. I'd prefer to keep all of it, but skin cancer seems to have a claim, and it's an opponent I have yet to conquer.

When I was a child, I was sometimes told I had a "pug" nose, so I added it to my list of "Those Things I Wish God Had Done Differently." But my thoughts changed when the doctor started cutting bits of it away. Suddenly my nose was most beautiful, and I desperately wanted to keep it. 

Even now, there's a cancer growing there. I've known about it for several months, buy I'm too chickenhearted to go under the knife again. My fear and vanity run deeper than this cancer. Those bright lights, the scalpel, the anesthesia wearing off before the cutting is done, the infection they tell you rarely happens (but it happened to you), the disfigurement, the tears, the sometimes months of healing--you don't forget them too soon, and the second time is only worse because now you know what to expect. 

And no doubt the fact that my last biopsy went a bit wrong has something to do with my denial and delay. It's not cool when the doctor misses a spot and cuts healthy tissue. But it happens.

Doctors misdiagnose. They prescribe the wrong medicine and misjudge the dosing. They cut more than is necessary just to be safe. They often guess at what's wrong with you. 

But how much good they do, too! I'm thankful for the skilled surgeon who has delivered my babies. I'm thankful for the skilled surgeon who put a bar in Ink's chest and then removed it years later. I'm thankful for the skilled surgeon who preserved Luke's eyesight. Yes. For all the mistakes, doctors do good, and we put ourselves under their care, knowing they're fallible.

In the flesh, my body is a cutting field. My back, my arm, my forehead, my nose--they've all seen the knife and there are scars to show it.

And my soul is one, too. 

God is that Master-Pruner. Everyday He's cutting away at those things that don't honor Him. It's painful, and He doesn't give me treatment options.

He doesn't need to. His cuts are perfect. The right spot. The right amount. The right timing. No guessing. No overdosing. No "oops, I'm so sorry. I needed to cut away at your unteachable spirit, but instead I hacked away at _______."

Perfect pruning.

And just like those surgeons who get the cutting right, God is doing me good. But the difference is that He is doing good all of the time.

Still, I fight it. I forget it. I resist His methods and His means--the difficult people, the interruptions in my day, the disappointments, the losses, the unkind words, disobedient children, rude drivers, broken appliances, the struggle to keep walking in His ways. And, I often tell Him with my murmuring and unsubmissive spirit what I'm saying when I refuse to deal with this cancer on my face--I'd rather stay this way. I'd rather have this cancer grow and require more cutting, and, "By the way, dear God, I'd rather you not make me more like Jesus."

Yep. I have trust issues. And pride issues.

But He'll also cut away at those, whether I want Him to or not. 

And He'll do it perfectly.

Thanks be to God.

With love,

Trisha

A Little Bit of Shame Would Be Good

There's an "Intimacy Challenge" making its rounds on the internet. 10 straight days of sex is the goal.

It's being called an "Intimacy Challenge" so it sounds a bit more refined and respectable than that Sexperiment stuff some pastor did some time ago. But really???  I want to know what books you're reading and what great things God is doing in your life. But I don't want to know, nor do I need to know, how often you're having sex. And if you're having problems in this area, talk to your pastor or another 3D someone who can offer you counsel and encouragement.

Can you imagine these conversations around the dinner table?

"Well, son, how are things going with you and your bride?"
"Great, Dad. We're doing that 10 day intimacy challenge. 10 straight days of sex."

Or how about chatting about it in the foyer at church:

"How's your week been, Sally?"
 "Oh, terrific. John and I are having 10 straight days of sex."

Would you not think these conversations a bit out of place? Indiscreet? And yet, we're willing to broadcast such things to an even greater audience on social media.

Go ahead. Call me a prude, but my objection isn't because I think sex is dirty; it's because I know it's not. It is sacred and beautiful and not meant to be set up as a 10 day challenge for all the world to see. And the fact that men are not better keepers of the sacredness of this area of their marriages, seen in the writing of a blog post (which I've chosen not to link here) and in the "liking" on Facebook, and "I'm in!" illustrate how backwards it all is.

Shame is being aware that something is improper or ridiculous or dishonorable, and public challenges like this are exactly that because the marriage bed is SO honorable.

Theodore Dalrymple's thoughts are quite timely: "No one seems to have noticed, however, that a loss of a sense of shame means a loss of privacy; a loss of privacy means a loss of intimacy; and a loss of intimacy means a loss of depth. There is, in fact, no better way to produce shallow and superficial people than to let them live their lives entirely in the open, without concealment of anything."

With love,
Trisha

Christless Leisure