The Ordinary Arts

photo copyright: poffclan

Good Grief! BBQ Chicken Pizza

I love making new recipes for my Mountain Man, because when he really loves something he lets me know with memorable exclamations. I tried this recipe on Claire's birthday, and "Good grief!" were the first words out of my Beloved's mouth after taking his first bite. I think that's a perfect name for this yummy pizza.

Good Grief! BBQ Chicken Pizza

1 12 inch pre-baked pizza crust 

3 boneless chicken breast halves, cooked and cubed

1 c. barbecue sauce

1 T. honey

1 tsp. molasses

1/3 c. brown sugar

1/4 c. fresh chopped cilantro

1 c. shredded smoked Gouda cheese

1 c. thinly sliced red onions

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Place pizza dough on greased pizza pan and brush dough with olive oil. Bake for 10 minutes. (This is pre-baking.)

In a large saucepan over medium heat, combine cooked chicken, barbecue sauce, honey, molasses, brown sugar, and cilantro. Bring mixture to a boil. Remove from heat, and spread mixture evenly over pizza crust. Top with shredded Gouda cheese and sliced red onion. Bake 10-15 minutes more, until cheese is melted.

(adapted from Pizza for Every Meal and Occasion)

I made this simple bread machine crust, shared by Hillybilly Housewife. While we usually prefer thin crust, a regular crust worked well with this very saucy pizza. 

I also used fully cooked slices of chicken fajita meat, cutting the strips into smaller pieces. The onions were diced instead of thinly sliced, and they worked just fine.

Enjoy!

With love,

Trisha

Ranch Pretzels

For movie night--here's a twist on the ranch-seasoned oyster cracker recipe. :)

Ranch Pretzels

16 ounce package of small pretzels (or buy big ones and break into pieces)
2 ounces of ranch salad dressing mix
3/4 c. oil
1-1/2 t. garlic powder
1-1/2 t. dill weed

Place pretzels in large mixing bowl. Combine remaining ingredients in a separate mixing bowl and pour over pretzels, tossing to coat. Pour onto ungreased baking sheet. Bake at 200 degrees for one hour, stirring every 15 minutes.

Where It Is Impossible to Keep From Thinking About God

I was privileged, in the spring, to visit in a home that was to me--and I'm sure to the occupants--a little bit of Heaven. There was beauty there. There was a keen appreciation of the finer things of life, and an atmosphere in which it was impossible to keep from thinking of God.

The room was bright and white and clean, as well as cozy. There were many windows. Flowers were blooming in pots and vases, adding their fragrance and beauty. Books lined one wall--good books--inspiring and instructive--good books--good friends. Three bird cages hung in the brightness and color of this beautiful sanctuary, and the songsters voiced their appreciation as if their little throats would burst.

Nature's music, nature's beauty--nature's peace....It seemed to me a kind of Paradise that had wandered down, an enchanted oasis--home.
~Peter Marshall

What an extraordinary thought--that we can create a home where it is "impossible to keep from thinking about God."

Our houses need not resemble a page from House Beautiful magazine. Regardless of their size and style or our financial status, our homes can exude warmth and provide refreshment for all who walk through their doors. They should be pleasant havens for our husband and children, sanctuaries where we offer care and hospitality to other Christians, and gateways from which we extend the gospel to family, friends, and neighbors.

So I have made this my prayer: "Lord, help me to build the kind of home where all who enter find it 'impossible to keep from thinking of God.'"

Why not make this your prayer, too?
~Carolyn Mahaney, Feminine Appeal

Happy Birthday Cookie Stack

This is the yummy birthday dessert Ella chose, and it was a success! The original recipe calls for using Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies, but I used our own favorite recipe which you can find here. (Don't overbake!)

You'll need 30 cookies for this beautiful stack of sweetness. Here's the recipe for the whipped filling. It makes a lot! However, I was quite reserved in my application because I didn't want the filling to be overwhelming, so that's why I had so much of it left over.

1-1/2  (8 ounce) packages of cream cheese, softened
1-1/4 c. confectioners' sugar
1 (13.6 ounce) can coconut milk
2-1/2 c. chilled heavy whipping cream

In a large bowl, beat softened cream cheese at medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth. Add confectioners' sugar and coconut milk; beat just until combined. Add cream; beat at low speed until mixture begins to thicken. Beat at high speed until very thick.

On a large serving plate, arrange 7 cookies in a circle; place 1 cookie in center of circle. Dollop 2 c. of cream mixture over cookies; gently spread over and in between cookies with a spatula. Arrange 6 cookies over cream mixture; place 1 cookie in center of circle. Dollop 2 c. of cream mixture over cookies; gently spread with spatula. Repeat procedure twice, arranging cookies closer together with each layer to form a pyramid-shaped stack. Spread remaining 2 c. of cream mixture on top of cookie stack. Cover, and chill for 1 hour or up to 4 hours. Just before serving, top with berries.
~from Celebrate magazine

Tips:

~Top with strawberries and blueberries for a festive 4th of July dessert.
~Cookies start to soften after 4 hours, so you might need to cut with a serrated knife instead of just pulling from the stack if you chill them that long.
~It's messy, but delicious. Let your children enjoy it, and don't fret over how much whipped cream they get on themselves. :)
~Customize the amount of cream used to your liking--as I said, I had a lot left over, but was pleased with the amount used on the cookies.
~The taste of coconut milk is not overwhelming. We bought the half-gallon size available in the refrigerated section of Trader Joe's.
~I chilled our cookie stack for about 2 hours. The chilling makes a big difference--don't leave that part out.

Enjoy!!

With love,
Trisha

The Fading Fine Art of Fried Food

When our children shared on Mother's Day what they love about me, one of the most popular answers was "her cooking." Though I'm no gourmet chef, I'm grateful our children aren't like the ones who quipped to their mother, when eyeing the dinner set before them, "Didn't we throw up the last time you served this?" (I know! Everyone gasp together!)

I've brought my southern heritage with me to our desert life and have trained our children's taste buds (for better or for worse) to have a deep affection for home-cooked, comfort foods--foods like mashed potatoes swimming in butter, mile-high southern biscuits, sweet tea, Italian meatloaf, AND the soon-to-be-extinct fare of fried food. It's becoming a crime to heat a pan of oil up, whip up a mean batter, and dip and fry, dip and fry.

But I shall hold fast to this fine, if fading, method of cooking, for one day our children might be the last people on earth who are skilled in the proper use of Crisco or canola oil, and many will come from near and far, knocking on their doors and whispering, "We heard you serve fried food here and sweet tea. May we taste some, please?"

Alas! I indulge in a bit of hyperbole just to to tell you this: I made fried onion rings the other night, and they were a hit! For the last few of you who dare to indulge in fried food, may you enjoy these tasty golden rings of savory goodness.

Spicy Fried Onion Rings

1 large yellow onion, cut into 3/4 inch thick rings
1 c. self-rising flour
1/4 c. yellow cornmeal
1 T. hot sauce, or to taste
1/4 tsp. salt
1 c. water
6 c. canola oil

Separate onion slices into individual rings. In a large bowl, combine flour, cornmeal, hot sauce, and salt. Add water, stir with a whisk until blended. Add onion rings; gently toss.

Fill a large heavy-bottomed skillet halfway with oil. (You may not need all 6 c. of oil.) Heat oil over medium-high heat to 350 degrees. Working in batches, remove onion rings from flour mixture, allowing excess to drip off, and fry until golden brown, about 3 to 4 minutes, turning occasionally. Drain on paper towels.

If you make ahead, preheat oven to 225 degrees, and keep fried onion rings warm on a wire rack over a rimmed baking sheet for up to 30 minutes.
~recipe from Celebrate magazine

With love,
Trisha

**I never measure out oil. I just fill the pan until halfway full. I did use the timer--remember that later batches might cook a bit more quickly. I used the full amount of hot sauce, and no one thought these were overly spicy. For our family, I doubled the recipe and had a few left over. (But not all of us are onion ring lovers.)

When Titus 2 Women May Be Hard to Find

I watched my Emma carry Elijah outside today. She was "wearing" him, running sometimes, grinning big, simply delighting in him. She could teach me and other Moms a few things about being in the moment.

My thoughts flashed forward as I imagined her with her own children one day. The tears came as I thought of the loveliness of it all. And the tears came because I know she'll meet resistance. I might not always be there to whisper, "Well done, my daughter. Make a home for your family. Love your husband. Delight in these children. Welcome His gifts and train them up for His glory."

The tears came because I think when she's older a Titus 2 woman might be hard to find. She'll look around her, even in church, perhaps especially in church, and she'll see women who have pursued their own glory, who will tell her that for all these years, Scripture has been misunderstood, that women being home-centered, marrying and bearing children, was only a "cultural" thing that we're no longer called to because of our "freedom" in Christ Jesus.

She'll look around and find mothers who never found it God-honoring enough to wipe noses and prepare meals and disciple little hearts or wear out the carpet with their knees bowed before the Lord. She'll find the women who little valued having their children rise up and call them blessed, who instead longed to have the praise of the world, the validation and cheering on of other women, who couldn't wait to do something else to give their lives more "meaning."

She'll find women whose divided hearts have come full-circle as they embrace and dish out feminism, the Christian re-mix version, of course, sanitized, not so overtly offensive, but still reeking of self and echoing that famous question, "Did God really say?"

What happens when mothers who have already raised their children think homemaking and babies and newlyweds have nothing to do with them? When they pursue so many interests that they're never available, or they wrap themselves up so much in the study of their Bibles that their practical theology is anything but practical to the wife and mother who wants to know how to function on four hours of sleep or make a meal for 8 or heal a diaper rash or soothe a colicky baby?

There's a void. An emptiness. And all women suffer because of it.

I'm in the middle--old enough to be a Titus 2 woman to some, and yet, still needing the encouragement of older Titus 2 women. Instead of finding Titus 2 exhortations, I'm watching older women distance themselves so much from home-centered living that they recoil at the thought of teaching the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be discreet and chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

I'm watching women dismiss our home-centered calling as they insist on blurring the distinctive roles God has given men and women, sometimes in the name of being "Gospel-focused," as though biblical womanhood is void of the Gospel dwelling in us richly.

As we age, our eyesight dims. But perhaps we need to be more concerned about losing sight of our Titus 2 responsibilities and being blinded by post-modern lies that leave us disqualified to teach the younger women.

Yes. A good Titus 2 woman might be hard to find, so what are we to do?

1) We can study what the Word says about biblical womanhood, with our daughters. Expose them to and discuss the distortions of womanhood (including the ones that declare a girl shouldn't be educated, etc.), that they would not be taken captive by man's wisdom or lean on their own understanding.

2) We can pray for God's abundant provision of Titus 2 women in our daughters' lives, women who have a love for home and who desire to share their love of sound doctrine, favorite parenting tips, and recipes or crafting skills.

3) We can give them mobile teachers, books written by sound Titus 2 authors who will encourage them when the pressure and negativity from without weighs heavy on them.

4) We can confidently teach them to be home-centered, not wavering or doubting or changing position with every new book or blog post we read. We can ground them in the Word of God and teach them well while they are with us how to manage a home, feast regularly on the Word, use their gifts to the glory of God for their families and church and community, learn new skills, love and serve others.

5) We can remind them that biblical womanhood goes against the grain, that many women, Christian women, chafe and writhe under it. They will meet resistance, and they will often feel very alone.

6) We must model contentment and joy in our own callings as wives and mothers, examining our hearts for remnants of feminist-shaped ideology that have contaminated our theology and influenced the vision of womanhood we're passing to our daughters.

7) We must remember this duty to be Titus 2 women, and be available to the younger women around us, offering them encouragement and wisdom from our years as a wife and mother. We can guard against the belief that it's holier to spend hours a day in the Word than it is to teach a younger woman how to plan meals for her family or refrain from being a busybody. (We would never think it wise of a man to neglect his work to study the Word so that he leaves his family without an income, and yet we often pressure women to do deep theological studies while their children remain unfed, the clothes aren't done, and thoughtful food prep isn't taking place. I'm not speaking of basic feasting and meditating on the Word, which is what most younger Moms only have time for.)

"It is doubtful that the Apostle Paul had in mind Bible classes or seminars or books when he spoke of teaching younger women. He meant the simple things, the everyday example, the willingness to take time from one's own concerns to pray with the anxious mother, to walk with the way of the cross--with its tremendous demands of patience, selflessness, lovingkindness--and to show her, in the ordinariness of Monday through Saturday, how to keep a quiet heart.

These lessons will come perhaps most convincingly through rocking a baby, doing some mending, cooking a supper, or cleaning a refrigerator. Through such an example, one young woman--single or married, Christian or not--may glimpse the mystery of charity and the glory of womanhood, so perfectly exemplified in the response of a humble village girl of long ago when she said: 'Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word' (Luke 1:38)."
~Elisabeth Elliot

With love,
Trisha

Soft Almond Sugar Cookies

If you can eat only one of these, you have amazing self-control. These turned out just as described, although I did have to bake the later batches a bit longer (in spite of the warning not to exceed 8 minutes). No coarse sugar to roll them in? That's ok. I didn't have any, either, so I just used granulated sugar, and they still tasted delicious!

Soft Almond Sugar Cookies

1 1/2 c white sugar

2/3 c cold butter 

2/3 c shortening (room temp)

2 eggs

2 tsp almond extract

2 3/4 c cake flour

1 c all purpose flour

1 T cornstarch

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

sugar in the raw 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare baking sheet.

Cream sugar, butter and shortening.Stir in eggs and almond extract.Combine flour, cornstarch, baking powder and salt and add to butter/egg mixture.Use electric mixer to ensure dough is thoroughly combined.

Chill dough in fridge for 30 minutes.

Roll 2 tsp of dough into a ball and roll in raw sugar.  Place on prepared pan.

Bake cookies for 7 minutes.  Remove from oven and gently press rounded tops of cookies flat with the back of a spoon while the cookies are still warm and pliable.The cornstarch will keep the dough from spreading,so this step just makes them look better!

Return remaining dough to fridge in between baking each batch.

Allow to cool on pan for 1 minute.  

Remove to cooling rack. Allow to cool completely.

~DO NOT bake longer than 8 minutes!!  They may seem under-baked, but when they cool they will firm up.

You can find the original recipe with a printable option at Confections From the Cody Kitchen.

Snow Cocoa

This gem of a cocoa was a hit here. I didn't have enough time to use the slow-cooker method, so I just warmed the ingredients up on the stove. About 15-20 minutes later, we were drinking this...

It's VERY sweet, so only small doses are needed. Yes. Needed. :)

Enjoy!

Snow Cocoa

2 c. whipping cream
6 c. milk (whole or 2%)
1 tsp. vanilla extract
12 ounce package of white chocolate chips

Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker.
Heat on low for 2 to 2-1/2 hours or until mixture is hot and all chips have melted.
Stir well to blend.
Top with whipped cream and shaved chocolate, if you desire.

With love,
Trisha


***a Pinterest success...original recipe found here.

The Mama and the Glue Gun

There once was a Mama, and crafty and artistic she was not. She admired the handiwork of her fellow Mamas, how they could whip up curtains and pillows and dresses, how they would teach their children to sketch portraits and model architectural wonders with mere polymer clay.

She made grand attempts to make that crafty love flow through her veins, to come as naturally to her as her love for buttery biscuits. But, she'd always forget some key material, or fail to find the pom-poms and wiggle eyes. She secretly muttered, "I hate glitter," as she perused craft projects, distracted by dreamy visions of the next theological tome she'd tackle alongside her children.

And then she met a glue gun...


Mama+glue gun+Little People+fabric+foam+buttons+little bench from Hobby Lobby=

Yes, this Mama is a bit proud of herself and her little cottage-inspired creation. The secret is to not turn anything over, lest the attempts to wrap this foam like a Christmas package are exposed. It's a start, and maybe one day, my daughters I will learn how to do this with needle and thread.

With love,
Trisha

Pumpkin Cake Doughnuts

I'm a fried doughnut gal, myself. My Mountain Man would regularly drive me an hour away to the Krispy Kreme when they first opened here. But who can resist the speed and minimal mess of baked doughnuts?

So, I finally caved in and bought some doughnut pans that were on clearance at Target. I know. Doughnut pans rank up there with bread machines, as far as the"experts" are concerned. In other words, they're thought to be a waste of time and kitchen space. However, in our home, the bread machine makes a lot of dough, and these doughnut pans will get a lot of use.

I tried them out for the first time this morning when I made these pumpkin cake doughnuts. The recipe is supposed to yield only 12 doughnuts, but I baked 30 from it, and these aren't minis, so who knows what I did wrong. The most time consuming part of doughnut-making is filling the tins and spreading out the mix.

These turned out great and would make a great addition to your tea time. :)

Enjoy!

Pumpkin Cake Doughnuts
adapted from King Arthur's recipe

1/2 c. canola oil
3 large eggs
1-1/2 c. sugar
1-1/2 c. canned pumpkin
1-1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice (or 3/4 tsp. cinnamon plus heaping 1/4 tsp. each of ground nutmeg and ground ginger)
1-1/2 tsp. salt
1-1/2 tsp. baking powder
1-3/4 c. + 2 T. all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease two standard doughnut pans. (You can also use a standard muffin pan and make muffins.)

Beat together the oil, eggs, sugar, pumpkin, spices, salt, and baking powder until smooth.

Add flour, stirring just until smooth.

Fill the well of the doughnut pans about 3/4 full.  Bake doughnuts for 15-18 minutes, or until cake tester inserted into the center of one comes out clean. (Muffins will take about 23-25 minutes.)

Remove donuts from oven, and let cool for about 5 minutes. Remove from pans, and sprinkle both sides with cinnamon sugar. (KA suggests shaking the doughnuts in a bag of cinnamon sugar, but I just couldn't risk having them break into pieces!)

They can be stored at room temperature for several days.


With love,
Trisha

Sausage and Egg Muffins

I've shared our basic frittata recipe that we often include on our breakfast menu. These sausage and egg muffins are similar and quite the favorite in our home. Enjoy!

1 lb ground sausage
1 onion, chopped
12 eggs, beaten
2 c. shredded Cheddar cheese
1 t. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper

Brown sausage and onion in skillet over medium heat; drain. Combine eggs and remaining four ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Add sausage mixture and mix well. Spoon into greased muffin cups, filling 2/3 full. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until toothpick inserted in middle comes out clean. Makes 22.
~from Gooseberry Patch's Quick and Easy Family Favorites cookbook

With love,
Trisha

This Was Made for Me

What a gem to find in this desert land I live in 'cuz you can take the girl out of the south, but you can't take the south out of the girl. (We'll just keep it a secret that I don't like pecan pie...)

Honey, There's Just One More Thing

"The modern woman may be able to bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never let him forget he's a man, but too many modern wives expect their husbands to bring home the bacon, clean the fry pan, and never ever get to rest like a man."
~Denise Sproul, Tending Your Garden

House Envy

I remember my first exposure to those words. My new friend, showing me parts of the town, described those people living in the trailers as "white trash." Her disdain for single-wide living was clear, even though she'd never met the faces behind those doors.

When we moved to NM, we were shocked by the cost of living, and we were hating living in our rental, the kind where the neighbors can hear every conversation and you can ask to borrow eggs without ever leaving your home. Just shout in the window right across from yours.

We opted for manufactured housing on a couple acres in a rural area. At the time we thought we had a big house. 7 more children later, and I'm constantly calculating how to better work our space. But I'm well aware of the stigma of manufactured housing. Even the wise Dave Ramsey tells you you're flushing your money down the toilet if you buy one.

As women, our homes are often great sources of pride. It's not unusual to spend more time making our homes look great while our hearts rot away. Too often we forget that we make the house a home, but we don't automatically have a home just because we have a house. I love how my 2 year old always corrects me when he sees our house. I say, "That's our house." He replies, "No, home. Home." Already he shows wisdom beyond his years.

If you've even glanced at a home show on tv before, you quickly discover that the home you live in is SO outdated. Surely, you can't live with such a small bathroom. Surely your children shouldn't have to share a bedroom. Surely, surely, surely, you shouldn't have to live like that.

Instead of being inspired to make our abodes the best they can be, we're filled with discontentment and convince ourselves we need something bigger or better.

What we're often saying to our husbands when we complain about the homes we live in is, "You're not doing and providing enough." Ouch! Imagine your husband coming home every day and saying, "Honey, you're just not doing enough around here. Nothing is good enough that you've given me." Yes, there are slacker husbands who need to step up and be better providers, but most of us are blessed with husbands who sacrifice moment by moment for us.

Even more grievous is the truth that when we complain about our homes, we're telling God HE hasn't provided enough.

What if God never provides for you to have a bigger or newer home? Could you stand it? Would you make it work, cheerfully de-cluttering and doing what you can to make your house a HOME? Or would you lose precious time thinking of how grand life would be if you only lived elsewhere?

Would you proudly have friends over, not apologizing for the worn couch in the living room or the outdated bathroom fixtures? Would the warmth that comes from your heart outshine any chipped walls or cramped spaces?

And how do you judge others' homes? I remember a fellow Christian asking my sister, when she was visiting us with her son, where in the world they slept, disdain dripping from her tongue. Yes, that hurt.

The truth is that a new home with bigger rooms and fancier fixtures won't cultivate thankful hearts. We take the same hearts with us from place to place, which is why Paul reminds us that true contentment is steadfast, in plenty or in little, in affliction or in joy, in all circumstances.

In her book on housekeeping, Ella May Miller challenges the discontented housewife to stop hating her small, inefficient kitchen (and you can fill in any spot in your home), and instead, "think about the good you're doing there."

Imagine replacing those thoughts of envy or frustration with thoughts of the good you're doing in your home. The precious bodies you feed every day, spiritually, physically, and mentally. The atmosphere of love and joy you create. The care that's in the details of brightly lit candles, freshly washed towels, and story time in small spaces.

When we've learned that kind of contentment, our homes become the loveliest places to be, to us and maybe even others. And even Home and Garden magazines and television can't convince us otherwise.

With love,
Trisha

Mama, Have You Forgotten What Season It Is?

I often think of myself as a Mommy-in-the-Middle. Yes, I'm in the middle of lots of stuff, like laughter and chaos, but I'm also the mother of children ranging in ages from 17-2, with a baby on the way. I'm a mother in the middle of several different parenting stages.

I can relate to the Mom who's navigating those unpredictable waters of adolescence, holding on tight during the turbulent days of puberty, watching with wonder the little ones' discoveries, battling self-control during toddler temper tantrums, or smiling as she hears her baby master an endless number of new words a day.

I know, simultaneously, what it is to wrestle with anxiety about your oldest ones' futures, wondering if you honored the LORD with the time you had, while fighting to be steady in training the younger ones to form good habits and obey consistently. I listen to Mumford and Sons and movie soundtracks while hearing Judy Rogers' songs and Patch the Pirate lyrics in my head.

I walk alongside the Mama who's watching her almost-grown children frame their own lives, as well as the Mama who's joyfully buying onesies for her new baby. I weep with the Mama who looks back on years of parenting and sees the grace God poured out on all of her days, while I share the secret worries of the newer Mama who wonders if there's enough grace for this day.

Sometimes the crossing over of these many phases of childhood stretches me thin, but most days its my own unrealistic expectations that weaken me.

While searching Pinterest I came across some wonderful activities for the Littles. I remembered how creative I used to be with the older ones and how detailed their early homeschooling lessons were. But that many years ago, I was the mother of two, not eight. I had less laundry, fewer dishes, less planning, fewer interruptions. It was a different stage of God's plan for my mothering. Yet, Guilt and Discontent started knocking and asking questions, and I found it hard to ignore them.

"Look what a better job you did with your older children. Why aren't you doing those same things now? Your younger ones are being deprived. Your older ones are being deprived. Maybe you've gotten lazy? What you're doing is not enough."

Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, but I often forget such wisdom includes what I do as a mother. There is a season, for all mothers, when the most reading you'll do will be from books by Mother Goose or Beatrix Potter. There is a season when you'll not tackle new projects but simply maintain order of what you have. There is a season when you'll splurge on a family vacation and a season when you'll squeak by just paying the bills. There's a season when you'll spend most of your time in correction and discipline, and a season in which you delight in the fruit of the Spirit manifested in your children.

And for some of us Mamas, our seasons overlap, and yet, they're still a season in itself.  No matter how much I long to be the same mother for my younger ones that my older ones had, I can't make that happen. It's impossible to create the same childhood for every child. I can't mother like my friends who only have little ones and spend hours on creative learning and crafts, and I can't mother like my friends who only have older children and read books at lightning speed or have more time for hobbies or volunteer work. I can only mother like a mother who has eight children of varying ages with the circumstances and resources God has set before me. Do I believe His provision is enough?

This is the kind of mothering all mothers should be doing, mothering that's mindful of the season God has gifted us. The temptation is to confuse the seasons. When our children are little, we're pursuing things that are best done when they're older. When they're older, we're holding on to what we didn't do when they were little. (Those of us who have younger and older have to fight even harder to balance it all well and make sure we're not neglecting what is needful for the older ones AND the little ones.)

We exhaust ourselves with expectations that were meant for a season we're no longer in or for a season that hasn't yet arrived. We lose sight of God's providence because we're scrambling to duplicate, as a large family, what a small family has, or as a small family, what a large family does. We sacrifice eternal bounty for keeping up with Mama Jones, whether the keeping up is the number of books we daily read aloud or the material goods or educational opportunities we provide.

And yes, it comes down to contentment. Contentment grows as we embrace the God-ordained boundaries that are fixed to the seasons of our mothering. Contentment flourishes when we focus on His purposes for our days instead of trying to combine a life's worth of seasons into right here right now. Contentment keeps our eyes set on His faithfulness instead of our accomplishments.

Learn from other mothers in different seasons. Make notes of what you want to do when those seasons come. But rest firmly in the truth that God does give us seasons as mothers, and when we walk contentedly in His design for our days, we honor Him well in our mothering, leaving Guilt and Discontent with nothing to say.

With love,
Trisha

Titus 2-Less Pastor's Wives, Depressed Stay-at-Home Moms, and UnChristianity Today

Frankly, reading this article  made ME depressed and frustrated and pondering, once again, what this call for "authentic" mommy blogging is all about. I've shared before what I think about this kind of confessional blogging, and I found it disappointing that a pastor's wife was at it again. I'm shaking my finger and saying, "Shame on you!"

Are Moms who blog about the beautiful parts of motherhood, who aren't posting about every fight or every selfish thought, really doing a disservice to other Moms? Are we simply not being real and leaving the less experienced Moms a pile of unrealistic expectations to torture them at every turn of mothering?

I don't think so. Number one, if you're reading a blog in which the mother seems perfect and has no need for grace, then run. Hit delete. Find another read. But at the same time, don't run to the mommy blogger who wants to wallow in the mud with you. Two, if you're depressed and lack joy as a stay-at-home mom, first consider if sin is involved. I would guess it normally is. In fact, I can list for you a few causes of depression among stay-at-home moms.

First, there's that persistent and ever nasty creature called Self.

It's Self that moves us to compare ourselves with other moms, to covet what they're doing, to envy the lovely curtains they just made and the delicious dinner they blogged about. It's Self that whispers we've given up SO MUCH just to take care of little people who aren't grateful and need their noses and bottoms wiped several times a day. It's Self that tells us no one else in the world has had to function on as little sleep as we do. It's Self that settles for journeying through motherhood as some kind of martyr who struggles daily to find joy, settling for a "quiet, sustaining hope" that convinces us there might be a purpose in it all.

It's self that confesses folly like this AND wants affirmation that it's all good: "My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least." and Self that reads the above, adding the qualifier,"The deluge of attention Melton received (over 2,000 comments, offers from advertisers, reality TV producers, and publishers) makes me think that women are hungry for this kind of honesty, and that they aren’t finding enough of it". 


Then, there's that pesky joy-robber called ingratitude.


It's ingratitude that makes us forget what a privilege it is to even be a mother. Have you not seen the tears in a woman's eyes or heard the hard swallow as she tells you she wishes she could have more children or reminds you how blessed you are though her womb has never known the joy of a baby's hiccup or kick? Did you gloss over the part of Scripture that tell you children are a GIFT?

Third, there's the danger of listening to the wrong voices.

The article that sparked my need to forego my afternoon nap and type away to get rid of the voices in my head comes from the Christianity Today blog. The author  links to a pagan mother as an example of what is REAL out there in mommy-land. Do we, as Christian moms, really want a blogger who describes herself as the following, giving us advice about real mothering?

Showing up at Momastery heals me- as do fresh air, deep breaths, yoga, the sun, church, friend time, water in any form, messages from you, feeding myself well, my Sister, snuggling my dog, and reading anything written honestly.

I love Jesus, gay people, adoption, and rearranging furniture.


Ladies, the GOSPEL is missing! And without the gospel, the amazing, life-changing news of the gospel, we are all depressed moms just waiting to happen! We forget the "I get to!"


How grievous it is that we've lost a vision for motherhood, for dying to self, for the power of the gospel, for JOYFUL mothering! God forgive us for taking such a precious gift and trampling on it over and over with our whining and complaining.

How grievous it is that we're tempted to believe this lie: "the one factor that makes being a stay-at-home mom the most difficult: the sheer challenge of parenting all day, every day. The constant sacrifice of body and soul to another being. The unrelenting subjugation of your desires to another’s needs. The fact that sometimes you can’t even go to the bathroom when you want to." No, the one factor that makes being a stay-at-home mom the most difficult is that I'm a sinner, and I carry this sinful nature with me everywhere I go. I can't even get away from IT in the bathroom.


What have we come to when pastor's wives defer to pagan mothers even an inch, and confess their struggles with motherhood, not with the truth that God's grace is sufficient or that He is giving me joy in the journey or that I am training up souls for His glory, but instead with a reluctant, foot-dragging, heart-just-isn't-in-it
acknowledgement that, well, I guess this misery is making me more like Jesus?


We trust God to save us from hell, but we refuse to trust Him to make us joyful mothers? His grace IS sufficient. Let's stop making excuses and claiming we're casualties of unrealistic mommy blogs or other outside influences. Let's admit we're in bondage to our own sinful hearts, confess it, cry out for His grace, fill ourselves with His Word, take a nap, eat some chocolate, and not just endure motherhood, but DELIGHT in it. Oh, and let's encourage other mothers to do the same.


With love,
Trisha


Notes:


1) I'm not addressing the physical aspects of depression.
2) Yes, I think pastor's wives, knowing their husbands are shepherding the flock, have an even greater responsibility to speak truth to their sisters in Christ.
3) Yes, I know what it's like to have children fighting in every room, dinner burning on the stove, the baby playing in the toilet, and piles of laundry decorating the 
living room...all at one time AND be crying in the midst of it.
4) Yes, Ink would have had me remove the finger-shaking "Shame on you," but since he's in Mexico, I'm letting it stand.
5) Yes, I think I'm speaking the truth in love. This CT article reached a lot of women, and we're buying the lies because it's much easier than dying to self and leaning hard on Jesus.  Sometimes passion is good.
6) Yes, the formatting for this post is VERY BAD, but Ink's not here, so you'll have to endure.

Yogurt Streusel Muffins

"The appearance of hot quick breads on the breakfast board 'is a means of breakfast grace not to be underrated by the wise housewife.'"

~Marion Harland, 1903, quoted by Marion Cunningham in The Breakfast Book

• These were a big hit! I doubled the recipe, using regular (not low-fat) yogurt, and the result was 24 muffins, plus an extra-large muffin, plus 6 mini-cakes. (Are Pampered Chef muffin pans unusually small? ) 
• Of course, any muffin aficionado knows you must top the warm muffins with butter before serving. :)

• Streusel topping:
• 2/3 cups pecans, almonds or walnuts, finely chopped
• 1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted 
• Muffins:
• 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted and cooled 
• 2/3 cup sugar 
• 2 large eggs 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup plain low-fat yogurt
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Make streusel topping: In a small bowl, combine streusel ingredients and pinch together into large crumbs. Place bowl in freezer.
2. Make muffins: Preheat oven to 375°F. Line cups of a muffin tin with paper liners. In a large bowl, whisk butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla and yogurt. Stir in flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt with a wooden spoon. Fill each muffin cup with batter. Scatter streusel topping over each muffin and press lightly on crumbs so they adhere to batter. Bake until tops are golden, 17 to 20 minutes. Let muffins cool in pan set on a wire rack for 5 minutes, then remove muffins to rack to cool completely.

~original recipe here

With love,

Trisha

The Weight of My Inbox

While I was soaking up some vitamin D with my littlest one, the infamous Dr. Mercola came to mind. Are you familiar with him? He's the one who informed me I should spend at least some of my time outside without sunglasses to get the full effect of the rays' benefits.

I remember reading his daily e-mails. What a weight they were! Yes, they were full of sometimes helpful information, but never without a side of fear. Every day brought some new finding, some new study that meant a complete life overhaul. Don't eat this. Don't touch that. (But if you did eat this or touch that, thankfully he had a product to make everything better.)

Then there were the retailer e-mails. Each day a new bargain came my way or a new book release, but time was running out, and surely I didn't want to be the fool only person to miss out on this one time deal.

Crafty inspiration came my way, too. 101 exciting things to do with a toilet paper rolls. 50 fun projects to do with your toddler that will guarantee super-duper brain development. 

And let me not forget the education loops. There were updates and questions and recommendations. After all, why use a curriculum just as it is? I might miss something important by faithfully sticking to the plan while everyone is sharing how they're tweaking those plans to make them so much better.

But one day, all of those e-mails just disappeared. There weren't 100 messages waiting for me daily. There were only 3. Time had run out on the forwarding of messages from my old e-mail to my new, and I had forgotten to notify all my e-mail buddies.

The result? Freedom!

I hadn't fully understood how draining those message were. They were custom-ordered expectations and burdens that I had to either delete or do or just let sit in the back of my mind while I decided if I should delete or do. And those expectations would eat away at me without pause. "Remember reading that you should do this..." "You still haven't added that to your day." "Don't forget that book is on special for just a bit longer." "Weren't you going to buy something at the craft store so you could do one of those projects?"

It's easy to complain about information overload, but in most cases, we're the ones welcoming the load...one website or blog feed or yahoo group at a time. We fool ourselves into thinking we're spending time wisely by considering and being aware of all of our options, but often we're simply addicted to the need to know and bound by the fear of not knowing.

We think endless options and information will make us wiser Mamas, but the truth is they easily distract us from the duties at hand. They make us restless and doubtful, as we wonder if  there's one more thing we should be doing and some better way of doing it. We haven't even planned dinner for that evening, but we know the latest book releases, the current health trends, and the best way to re-use dryer lint. Is that truly looking well to the ways of our households?

If I was still getting all of those crafty e-mails, I might be doing an amazing art project with my 23 month old. But most likely I'd be distracted by a weighty inbox, making lists of things I want to do one day. And all the while I'd be missing out on those moments in the sun sharing space with some of the cutest toddler legs ever.

With love,

Trisha

***I know someone will take this as a blanket rant against information in your inbox. It's not. Each Mama needs to discern what's getting her attention and ask herself if a weighty inbox is profitable to her family life and to her soul. :)

Mama Archers and Other Lessons from The Help

I recently finished The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Set in the south, this account of the relationship between two black maids and a college graduate who writes their stories, offers moving and thought-provoking pictures of that time.

The author's worldview shines forth clearly with her persistent taking of the Lord's name in vain, her brief commentary on homosexuality, church-going characters who don't manifest much fruit of the spirit, and one character's general dismissal of God. (Yes, much is a portrayal of the times, now and then, but it's clear that Mrs. Stockett views Christianity as a vehicle of hypocrisy and oppression.)

But what also stood out to me were her spot-on observations about motherhood:

1) Babies like cushy Mamas:

"Babies like fat. Like to bury they face up in you armpit and go to sleep. They like big fat legs, too. That I know."


This is why God gave us hips, my friends. They're pockets of comfort and tenderness for our babies. Notice how men get tired so much more quickly than we do when holding babies? Yes, motherhood often brings a bit more cushion. It's ok. For some of us, it will melt away. For others, it will be a reminder of babies' borne and held and rocked and cuddled.

2) Mama is often the archer and her daughter is the target:

"Mother ate her breakfast early in the dining room, then moved to the relaxing room to do needlepoint or write letters to missionaries in Africa. From her green wing chair, she could see everyone going almost anywhere in the house. It was shocking what she could process about my appearance in the split second it took for me to pass by that door. I used to dash by, feeling like a dartboard, a big red bull's-eye that Mother pinged darts at."


I've been that mother. I can still be that mother.

Maybe having boys first made having a daughter more of a mystery to me. I wasn't prepared for the conflicts and struggles that are often part of the mother/daughter relationship. I wasn't prepared for the pronounced emotional dynamic.

I wasn't prepared for a heart that would quickly pull, not darts, but poisonous arrows from its quiver and aim spot on for my daughter's heart.

Oh, Mamas, we have to be ever aware of this and pray for the Holy Spirit to restrain and remove those anger-laced messengers of hurtful words and opinions that we are all too ready to release, piercing the hearts and souls of our children. 

(One of the most helpful and convicting teaching I've heard on the topic of mothers and daughters is by Nancy Wilson. You can order "Mothers and Daughters" here.)

3) Don't waste your motherhood:

Skeeter, the writer, has a mother who loves appearances. She delights in her daughter's helping out at the Presbyterian church. It looks good. She constantly comments on her daughter's clothing, and her motherly advice focuses on the external. If everything looks good on the outside, she's happy.

Even while close to death, the mother doesn't offer her daughter wisdom, but instead a list she's been compiling of what her daughter should and shouldn't wear.

"Mother pulls the pad of paper from under the covers, tucked in the invisible pocket she's had sewn in every garment, where she keeps antivomiting pills, tissues. Tiny dictatorial lists. Even though she is so weak, I'm surprised by the steadiness of her hand as she writes on the "Do Not Wear" list: 'Gray, shapeless, mannishly tailored pants.' She smiles, satisfied."

There is one exceptionally tender moment between the two, but most of their conversations are limited to profound observations such as this:

"I'm fine. Don't wrinkle your forehead like that, Eugenia. It's not good for your complexion."

It's not that Skeeter's mom doesn't love her. It's more that she stayed in that comfortable place of superficial living that tempts too many of us. No thought of eternity. No thought of the legacy she was leaving her children. 

We fall into the same trap. It's easier to embrace a compliant child, all the while ignoring symptoms of self-righteousness or focus on a pretty outside because we don't want to painfully dig deeper and address issues of the heart. It's easier to pat ourselves on the back because our children behave well in public while we ignore their failure to love one another at home.

Do our children know what matters most to us? Is eternity in focus in the most mundane moments of our day, or do our words and choices betray that there's a part of us that thinks right here and now is all there is?

Cushy Mamas who aim good words at the hearts of their children while making them ever aware of the gospel and living for eternity. Those are lessons worth learning.

With love,

Trisha