Large Families and Jacob's God

The Rev. Moses Browne had twelve children. On one remarking to him, "Sir, you have just as many children as Jacob," he replied, "Yes, and I have Jacob's God to provide for them."

~G. S. Bowes, in Spurgeon's Treasury of David

******

My Mountain Man received notice that unless there's an end to this government shutdown, he'll be without work after next Friday. I've cried a lot of tears since then, and I've borrowed a bit of trouble, too, as I imagined living without his paycheck. What can we sell? What expenses can we cut? How is God calling me to repentance? How can I keep my eyes fixed on Christ and just do the next thing? How can I be a cheerful mother and an encouraging wife? Where can I get a job?

Facing a period of no income with a large family is trying in its own way. The amount of food we consume in a week, many families consume in a month. With lots of Blessings, there is usually someone who needs something right now--a new pair of shoes or a visit to the dentist or a new toothbrush.

Some large families, homeschooling families at that, are wealthy and can afford educational trips to Scotland or can build mega-sized homes debt free, but many of us struggle each month to figure out how to make the food budget stretch just a bit more.

And then there are those prejudices inherent to a child-hating society. "What?! You have all of those children, but you don't ________________." (Fill in any of the expectations our culture has of what makes for a worthy childhood.)

We think child abuse is depriving a child of extra-curricular activities or having her own designer bedroom. We equate "good parent" with one who has a college fund for each child and massive amounts of cash set aside for a rainy day.

We often expect large families to look into the future in ways we'd never ask smaller families to do--"Yes, you may have this many children as long as you can easily pay for and anticipate every need and emergency that will happen over the next 20 years. Otherwise, you are completely irresponsible."

And Christians can be the worst, for they spout about trusting in the Lord and walking by faith and not by sight, and they cry for His daily bread, but they don't really mean daily, as in having to rely on God to provide for this week's groceries or even today's car repairs. That would be foolish. What they really mean is, "The wise man has at least six months' income set aside to cover every possible emergency," and they say this as they raise their eyebrows and wonder why you have all of those children and are worrying about medical bills and how far you can make a tank of gas last.

And it's hard not to feel a bit of the shame.

Am I saying that we should all live paycheck to paycheck, that there's some greater holiness in doing so? Of course not, and there certainly isn't anything romantic about it. It can be a blessing to not have to worry each day about having "enough, " and it's a blessing to be able to give to those in need, right when they need it.

Yet, it is true that God uses both abundance and need to teach contentment and make us more like Christ. Need doesn't know what it's like to just take a trip on a whim or buy brand new living room furniture or give a thousand dollars to the visiting missionary or see in advance that the year's bills are paid, and Abundance might not know what it's like to whisper a prayer of thanks over "just enough" and rejoice over God's miraculous provision.

Yes, Jacob's God is the God of large families, too, and we can trust in His provision, whether it comes in the form of a large bank account or a small one. Whether His provision comes in knowing there's enough money for many days ahead or simply for the next couple of weeks.

And when you are tempted to despair and you hear, pounding in your head, our culture's accusations that you are irresponsible for having so many children when you don't have the next 20 years perfectly provided for (because they really do, you know), remember this:

"He gives children, not as a penalty nor as a burden, but as a favour. They are a token for good if men know how to receive them and educate them. They are 'doubtful' blessings only because we are doubtful persons. Where society is rightly ordered children are regarded, not as an incumbrance, but as an inheritance; and they are received, not with regret, but as a reward."
~Spurgeon

"...a large number of children means a large number of trials; but when these are met by faith in the Lord, it also means a mass of love, and a multitude of joys."
~Spurgeon

With love,
Trisha

Mama, Have You Forgotten What Season It Is?

As I finish up planning for our new school year, I have to remind myself of this all over again. Maybe it will be an encouragement for you, too.

*****

I often think of myself as a Mommy-in-the-Middle. Yes, I'm in the middle of lots of stuff, like laughter and chaos, but I'm also the mother of children ranging in ages from 17-2, with a baby on the way. I'm a mother in the middle of several different parenting stages.

I can relate to the Mom who's navigating those unpredictable waters of adolescence, holding on tight during the turbulent days of puberty, watching with wonder the little ones' discoveries, battling self-control during toddler temper tantrums, or smiling as she hears her baby master an endless number of new words a day.

I know, simultaneously, what it is to wrestle with anxiety about your oldest ones' futures, wondering if you honored the LORD with the time you had, while fighting to be steady in training the younger ones to form good habits and obey consistently. I listen to Mumford and Sons and movie soundtracks while hearing Judy Rogers' songs and Patch the Pirate lyrics in my head.

I walk alongside the Mama who's watching her almost-grown children frame their own lives, as well as the Mama who's joyfully buying onesies for her new baby. I weep with the Mama who looks back on years of parenting and sees the grace God poured out on all of her days, while I share the secret worries of the newer Mama who wonders if there's enough grace for this day.

Sometimes the crossing over of these many phases of childhood stretches me thin, but most days its my own unrealistic expectations that weaken me.

While searching Pinterest I came across some wonderful activities for the Littles. I remembered how creative I used to be with the older ones and how detailed their early homeschooling lessons were. But that many years ago, I was the mother of two, not eight. I had less laundry, fewer dishes, less planning, fewer interruptions. It was a different stage of God's plan for my mothering. Yet, Guilt and Discontent started knocking and asking questions, and I found it hard to ignore them.

"Look what a better job you did with your older children. Why aren't you doing those same things now? Your younger ones are being deprived. Your older ones are being deprived. Maybe you've gotten lazy? What you're doing is not enough."

Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, but I often forget such wisdom includes what I do as a mother. There is a season, for all mothers, when the most reading you'll do will be from books by Mother Goose or Beatrix Potter. There is a season when you'll not tackle new projects but simply maintain order of what you have. There is a season when you'll splurge on a family vacation and a season when you'll squeak by just paying the bills. There's a season when you'll spend most of your time in correction and discipline, and a season in which you delight in the fruit of the Spirit manifested in your children.

And for some of us Mamas, our seasons overlap, and yet, they're still a season in itself.  No matter how much I long to be the same mother for my younger ones that my older ones had, I can't make that happen. It's impossible to create the same childhood for every child. I can't mother like my friends who only have little ones and spend hours on creative learning and crafts, and I can't mother like my friends who only have older children and read books at lightning speed or have more time for hobbies or volunteer work. I can only mother like a mother who has eight children of varying ages with the circumstances and resources God has set before me. Do I believe His provision is enough?

This is the kind of mothering all mothers should be doing, mothering that's mindful of the season God has gifted us. The temptation is to confuse the seasons. When our children are little, we're pursuing things that are best done when they're older. When they're older, we're holding on to what we didn't do when they were little. (Those of us who have younger and older have to fight even harder to balance it all well, and make sure we're not neglecting what is needful for the older ones AND the little ones.)

We exhaust ourselves with expectations that were meant for a season we're no longer in or for a season that hasn't yet arrived. We lose sight of God's providence because we're scrambling to duplicate, as a large family, what a small family has, or as a small family, what a large family does. We sacrifice eternal bounty for keeping up with Mama Jones, whether the keeping up is the number of books we daily read aloud or the material goods or educational opportunities we provide.

And yes, it comes down to contentment. Contentment grows as we embrace the God-ordained boundaries that are fixed to the seasons of our mothering. Contentment flourishes when we focus on His purposes for our days instead of trying to combine a life's worth of seasons into right here right now. Contentment keeps our eyes set on His faithfulness instead of our accomplishments.

Learn from other mothers in different seasons. Make notes of what you want to do when those seasons come. But rest firmly in the truth that God does give us seasons as mothers, and when we walk contentedly in His design for our days, we honor Him well in our mothering, leaving Guilt and Discontent with nothing to say.

(originally posted July 2012)

With love,

Trisha

Anatomy of a Large Family's Read Aloud Time

Pick a time.

Announce it to everyone.

Begin thirty minutes late because  you got distracted washing the dishes and putting another load of laundry in and dressing your daughter's baby in doll clothes.

Let everyone gather their coloring pages, pencils, or Legos to use while listening to the reading.

Begin.

Hear toddler cry for juice.  Ask her buddy to please get her some.

Begin again.

Read for about 15 minutes.  Then, have daughter tell you baby needs a diaper change.

Tell everyone you'll be right back. 

Change diaper.  Watch baby boy pee all over comforter unexpectedly (really, Mama-to-quite-a-few-boys, you should expect that...)  Strip bed and put comforter in the wash.

Tell everyone to settle down.

Begin again.

Admonish two children for fighting.  Tell them to stop provoking one another.  "Keep your hands to yourself."   "Do unto others as you'd want done to you."

Ask another child, "Are you listening?"

Try again.

Hear howling scream from one son.  "What happened?"  Mediate.  Discipline.  Sigh and wonder how long you've actually been READING.

Feel toddler girl lay her head on your lap.  Hug her back.

Look for your place again.

Start reading.

Realize 3 year old is missing.  "Where's _________?"  Send her buddy to look for her.

Start again.

Hear everyone laugh at the passage or make commentary on the author's worldview.  Follow rabbit trails.  Calm everyone down, and get back to the line you were on.

Notice toddler has a permanent marker.  "Where did she get that?"  "Get it from her quick!"

Hear phone ring.  It's Daddy.  He'll be home in about an hour and a half.  Think of dinner and how much time you need to get it done.  Remember the clothes wrinkling in the dryer. 

Find your spot, and try again.

Smile as you notice little daughter trying to help her sister with a toy.

Read for a bit more.

Exhort another child to use his words for building up, not tearing down.

Fight discouragement as you tell yourself, "Why bother?"

Remind yourself that great things are done little by little, even with an interruption here and an interruption there. 

Laugh at yourself.  Treasure the blessing of so many children around you who really are enjoying the book you're reading. 

Remember that an hour of uninterrupted read aloud time with total silence is very overrated.  Would I really want that? (Well....move to the next thought.)

Remember where you need to discipline more.  Remember how you need to lighten up.

Remember not to grow weary in doing good.  And this time together, interruptions, frustrations, and all, is very GOOD.

End with a big smile on your face.  Close the book, and try again tomorrow. 

Thank the LORD that you're such a rich woman.

The End. :)

***originally posted at my A Multitude of Mercies blog

Dear Ink

My son, you know it doesn't take much for me to cry, but I wasn't prepared for the emotions I'd feel this morning when I realized it's your last day of high school. I remember agonizing over the "perfect curriculum" for you when we started our first day of school 13 years ago. It was Calvert. Expensive and more than we needed. But it made me feel like a teacher. (Because, at that point, no one reminded me that I had been your teacher from day one.)

My educational philosophy has changed greatly over the years. I could never duplicate what I did with you, for our family has changed, and I have changed. I understand so much better God's command to teach you when I rise up and when I sit down--you know, all along the way. I've surrendered those petty concerns that first consume a homeschooling mother as I see that you manage to write quite well even though you rebelled against the traditional pencil hold, and you navigate the sea of words like an expert even though I never got around to those formal writing courses. And yes, I've given up my conviction that all children should love math.

This is the moment I'd hear other mothers speak of, but because it was so far away for me, I couldn't grasp how bittersweet it would be. Those doubts are vying for attention--did we do well by you? Did we do enough?

I remember when I first whispered my concerns to you. It was an affront to you, for wondering if I had taught you well implied we weren't pleased with the man you are and continue to become. How far from true this is! But, in this sin-cursed world, guilt seems to be in the air a mother breathes, so the questions creep in, and the best weapon against them is His Word.

And His Word is where you often point me. What mother wouldn't say that her children have taught her far more than she feels she's taught them? You are no exception. You have taught me new things and reinforced those truths I already know.

You've taught me fun things, like learning to love fiction and movies and soundtracks. You've taught me that birthdays don't require cake, for pies will do just as well, if not better.

You've taught me that I second-guess myself to an extreme, and that I make hasty judgments and rulings from parent-court when I'm stressed about other things. You've taught me that two people can argue intensely about something without it coming between them, like after we've disagreed, and you say, "Hey, Mom, did you know...?"

You've taught me contentment as I've watched you cheerfully live within our means, not once complaining that our bank account wasn't bigger or that we couldn't give you more---a car, a paid-for college education, a bedroom of your own...

You've taught me submission to God's will as you've endured painful surgery and a three-year long process of healing. There was no fist-shaking from you or "why me?"

But most of all, you have taught me with your life that God is faithful and gives the increase. The grace you've extended to this wretch of a Mom, because, yes, I am, astounds me, and I know you can only give me grace because of the grace He has worked in you. John said there was no greater joy than to know his children walked in truth, God's truth, and this is our joy, too. To watch you end these high-school days as a young man who firmly grasps the truth of the gospel, who firmly clings to the truth of His Word, who loves His Savior and desires to glorify Him, is the greatest joy of our homeschooling journey with you.

God is faithful, my son. May He always find you so in whatever He calls you to do.

I love you more than you'll ever know.

Love,
Mom

Ella's Big Week

Ella, 7, had a big week as she lost her first top front tooth (isn't she lovely?) and proved herself to be stellar "buddy" material after successfully changing Sarge's diapers and getting him dressed. It's a beautiful thing from the Lord to have daughters who delight in caring for babies, who see these tiny ones as gifts from His hand, who will often reply, when asked to do something, "But I'm holding a baby." (Because we all know that trumps everything.)

It looks like Sarge is pretty happy, too.

Take Me to the River~Part 1

Part 1 of 1000. :)

Not really, but with over 600 pictures to wade through, it's hard to pick just 10! This is where blogging freedom comes in. No pressure to provide controversial and high-stat-getting-content. After all, this is my family blog, even if only 2 family members ever visit here.

Every one of these pictures speaks of God's goodness to our family. Over and over and over. Thank you, LORD!

Mama, Have You Forgotten What Season It Is?

I often think of myself as a Mommy-in-the-Middle. Yes, I'm in the middle of lots of stuff, like laughter and chaos, but I'm also the mother of children ranging in ages from 17-2, with a baby on the way. I'm a mother in the middle of several different parenting stages.

I can relate to the Mom who's navigating those unpredictable waters of adolescence, holding on tight during the turbulent days of puberty, watching with wonder the little ones' discoveries, battling self-control during toddler temper tantrums, or smiling as she hears her baby master an endless number of new words a day.

I know, simultaneously, what it is to wrestle with anxiety about your oldest ones' futures, wondering if you honored the LORD with the time you had, while fighting to be steady in training the younger ones to form good habits and obey consistently. I listen to Mumford and Sons and movie soundtracks while hearing Judy Rogers' songs and Patch the Pirate lyrics in my head.

I walk alongside the Mama who's watching her almost-grown children frame their own lives, as well as the Mama who's joyfully buying onesies for her new baby. I weep with the Mama who looks back on years of parenting and sees the grace God poured out on all of her days, while I share the secret worries of the newer Mama who wonders if there's enough grace for this day.

Sometimes the crossing over of these many phases of childhood stretches me thin, but most days its my own unrealistic expectations that weaken me.

While searching Pinterest I came across some wonderful activities for the Littles. I remembered how creative I used to be with the older ones and how detailed their early homeschooling lessons were. But that many years ago, I was the mother of two, not eight. I had less laundry, fewer dishes, less planning, fewer interruptions. It was a different stage of God's plan for my mothering. Yet, Guilt and Discontent started knocking and asking questions, and I found it hard to ignore them.

"Look what a better job you did with your older children. Why aren't you doing those same things now? Your younger ones are being deprived. Your older ones are being deprived. Maybe you've gotten lazy? What you're doing is not enough."

Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, but I often forget such wisdom includes what I do as a mother. There is a season, for all mothers, when the most reading you'll do will be from books by Mother Goose or Beatrix Potter. There is a season when you'll not tackle new projects but simply maintain order of what you have. There is a season when you'll splurge on a family vacation and a season when you'll squeak by just paying the bills. There's a season when you'll spend most of your time in correction and discipline, and a season in which you delight in the fruit of the Spirit manifested in your children.

And for some of us Mamas, our seasons overlap, and yet, they're still a season in itself.  No matter how much I long to be the same mother for my younger ones that my older ones had, I can't make that happen. It's impossible to create the same childhood for every child. I can't mother like my friends who only have little ones and spend hours on creative learning and crafts, and I can't mother like my friends who only have older children and read books at lightning speed or have more time for hobbies or volunteer work. I can only mother like a mother who has eight children of varying ages with the circumstances and resources God has set before me. Do I believe His provision is enough?

This is the kind of mothering all mothers should be doing, mothering that's mindful of the season God has gifted us. The temptation is to confuse the seasons. When our children are little, we're pursuing things that are best done when they're older. When they're older, we're holding on to what we didn't do when they were little. (Those of us who have younger and older have to fight even harder to balance it all well and make sure we're not neglecting what is needful for the older ones AND the little ones.)

We exhaust ourselves with expectations that were meant for a season we're no longer in or for a season that hasn't yet arrived. We lose sight of God's providence because we're scrambling to duplicate, as a large family, what a small family has, or as a small family, what a large family does. We sacrifice eternal bounty for keeping up with Mama Jones, whether the keeping up is the number of books we daily read aloud or the material goods or educational opportunities we provide.

And yes, it comes down to contentment. Contentment grows as we embrace the God-ordained boundaries that are fixed to the seasons of our mothering. Contentment flourishes when we focus on His purposes for our days instead of trying to combine a life's worth of seasons into right here right now. Contentment keeps our eyes set on His faithfulness instead of our accomplishments.

Learn from other mothers in different seasons. Make notes of what you want to do when those seasons come. But rest firmly in the truth that God does give us seasons as mothers, and when we walk contentedly in His design for our days, we honor Him well in our mothering, leaving Guilt and Discontent with nothing to say.

With love,
Trisha

20 Weeks and We're Having A....

**I have so much to share, but it's late, and I'm tired. :) Now you know that we'll be swimming in blue again. We're delighted that God has added another boy to our family and has given Jedediah the joy of having a little brother to one day pal around with.

With love,
A very grateful Mama

Why We Hate the Duggars

The Duggar Family. Also known as "The Dumb Family" and "Those Idiots Who Don't Know When to Stop Having Children." If anyone might be annoyed with them, it would be large families. The Duggars, a family of 21, are often the measuring stick the world uses to relate to families with many children. That's not always a good thing. Sometimes it's offensive.

Like when I'm laying on the table in the hospital, three days after giving birth, getting prepped for a spinal in order to get rid of a spinal headache from having a c-section, and the nurse looks at me, asks how many children I have, and after hearing the answer replies, "What are you trying for? A t.v. show?"

"Yes maam. I've been through more physical pain than you've probably ever known just so I can possibly have a t.v. show in which my whole life is recorded for the God-hating public to see. That's the REAL reason I have so many children. 'Cause I want to be like the Duggars."

Please.

They do and believe crazy things, you know. They say, "God, we'd love to have ALL the children you'll give us." They have their children dress modestly. They don't incur debt. They teach their children at home. They believe they're sinners who need Jesus. They live much of their lives in front of the camera. They give to others.

They recently experienced the pain of a late miscarriage.

And they disgust us.


Don't believe me? Just search the internet, and you'll find bitter, ranting posts against this family, and some of them are written by our own brothers and sisters in Christ.

One Christian blogger lists each of the character traits the Duggars teach their family and then exposes how the Duggars fall short of living up to those traits.  Who of any of us perfectly lives out the truths we believe? We are all being conformed into the image of Christ daily, and I'll be the first to say that if you put my life under a microscope, you would witness failure after failure.

You would also see God's grace and mercy, because anything I actually do get right, is only because of HIM.

Now the Duggars never profess to be perfect. They don't tell you YOU have to wear dresses or have lots of children. They do know what they believe and they know why. And if you spit in their faces, they'd be the first to offer you the coat on their back. They have the loving part of Christianity down much better than many of us.

I disagree with the Duggars on many issues. I think ATI is dangerous business and in many ways theologically, we're worlds apart, but this is a family who is displaying before a lost world the beauty of a large family who loves Jesus. It's no wonder that the world hates them, but Christians, too?

Why do we hate the Duggars?

1) Because as a culture, we, including Christians, really don't like children. They're a bother, an inconvenience. Ever had people stare at you in horror when you're out in public with ALL of your children? Ever had a church tell you you can't worship with your children because they'll be a DISTRACTION to others? Ever have people leave a table at a restaurant because you sat down with your large family?

2) When we watch others live intentionally for the glory of God, even if we disagree with their methods, we're convicted about our own laziness. Laziness in discipling our children, in reading our Bibles, in showing discernment about what we watch and read, in working out our salvation with fear and trembling, etc.

3) They're sweet and kind and loving and culturally detached. That makes for boring television and boring lives. We want to see fighting and destruction and ugly words. And those of us who "engage with the culture" find this family too simplistic and "goody-goody." We forget that they've probably shared the gospel with more people than most of us who spend our time reading or watching stuff so we can relate to others who read and watch the stuff before we finally share the gospel.

Yes, this family has chosen to put their lives on television and sometimes their syrupy sweetness seems hard to swallow. (But is that because they're fakes or because our hearts prefer darkness to light?) Whether we agree or not with their decision, it's true they boldly speak of the love of Christ in the midst of extreme ridicule and point to His sustaining love in the midst of every disappointment.

The truth is that we don't have to watch them for one nanosecond. BUT, if we belong to Jesus, we do have to love them.


With love,
Trisha

Notes From the Reading Chair~Book Briefs

I think I lost my reading momentum back in June. I've gotten sidetracked with life's circumstances and have been reading books not even on my book list. Lately, I've been camped out in the Psalms for my Bible reading, and I've been devouring books about grief and affliction.

But, here are some thoughts on a few of the books I have managed to finish so far this year. Please remember that a recommendation doesn't mean I agree with EVERYTHING an author says nor everyone the author quotes, but that I do think a read is worthy of your time and effort.

A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Reading Nancy's books is like having tea and conversation with a true friend. She speaks the truth in love and does it well. This book focuses on cultivating a regular time with the Lord in the Word and in prayer.

I'll tell you now that I diverge from the many wise women and Moms who insist there's no need for a quiet time. I'll defend the necessity of this discipline, this habit, whatever you choose to call it, until I die, and this book is a great teacher for beginners as well as for Christians who have cherished their daily time alone with the LORD for years.

Facing Grief by John Flavel: Flavel was a Puritan writer. I bought this soon after my Dad died, and I found it most encouraging, and I highly recommend it with a couple of cautions. This is not the book to give to a mother who has just lost her baby. Flavel, though speaking the truth and knowing well the pain of losing a child, approaches the subject with some rough edges that I think might be discouraging for the newly grieving Mama.

I also don't recommend passing this book along to a weaker Christian who just lost a loved one. But, for the well grounded, mature Christian, Flavel's words will be convicting and comforting at the same time.

For the Love of God Vol. 1 by Don Carson: I love this book, even though I've gotten off track with it since my Dad died. Carson offers the "big picture" of God's Word in this devotional that is a great companion to your daily Bible reading. It covers the Bible in a year, and Carson offers a second volume as well. Highly recommended.

Death in Holy Orders by P.D. James: I read Children of Men by James several years ago, but I honestly couldn't remember enough about it to know if I should try another one of her books. Needing a break from the heaviness of some of my non-fiction reads, I decided to try this book. James is a captivating writer who knows how to tell a tale, keeping you in suspense at every turn of the page. However, there was too much sensuality in this story (and I'm thinking Children of Men was the same) for my comfort. I recommend Dorothy Sayers instead. Her Nine Tailors was an excellent, suspenseful read without the unsavory relationships and details.

Humility by C.J. Mahaney: This is probably my favorite read thus far this year. Highly recommended. We enjoyed this as a read aloud and found Mahaney to be practical, funny, and encouraging. If your family struggles with conflict or lack of unity or you find yourself struggling to find evidences of grace in those around you, read this book.

Making it All Work by David Allen: No, Allen is not a Christian, but when it comes to organizing and scheduling, he's spot on. His Getting Things Done method clicks with me, and I've found his books to be very beneficial, even though I'm a homemaker. I think his system is brilliant! Again, Allen is not a Christian and this is obvious in his writings, so proceed with caution if this might be a stumbling block for you.

The Power of Words and The Wonder of God by John Piper and Justin Taylor, editors: I was greatly encouraged and convicted by this book ,which is a collection of essays addressing the power of the tongue. I found it ironic that Mark Driscoll was a contributing writer, and I was offended by some of his potshots at homeschoolers, but found his essay, overall, surprisingly edifying. Even with Driscoll as a contributor, I recommend this book.

Treasury of David by Spurgeon: This is a collection of Spurgeon's writings on the Psalms, and it is wonderful! Highly recommended. I even sought out a used set because the current publications of this are abridged. I've been feasting on the Psalms for several months now and have found these books to be great companions.

Contentment: A Godly Woman's Adornment by Lydia Brownback: Wonderful book that gets to the heart of our murmurings and disputings. I found her essays so encouraging, I quickly finished this one. Makes a great gift.

The Real Scandal of the Evangelical Mind by Carl Trueman: "What is an evangelical....and has he lost his mind?" Great read worth your time. Be prepared to read it a couple of times. Trueman is brilliant.

Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman: Even if you don't have a large family, you'll find this book helpful. Brenneman deals with the practical and with the heart. Encouraging and brief chapters that cover everything from scheduling to pregnancy to feast nights to homeschooling. A great reference to have on hand and go back to again and again.

Read on!

With love,

Thankful Thursday~How the Camera Saves Lives

The camera saves lives. Yes, the insane experienced Mama has learned that instead of getting exasperated by those disasters pesky messes that happen during the most ordinary of days, it's better to just throw a tantrum grab your camera.

Camera-hugging is therapeutic. It calms the spirit and reminds the already brain dead exhausted Mama that these moments of chaos are ones to be fully embraced and remembered. And what better way to do that than with one's camera! After all, this way EVERYONE can savor the moment and re-live the delight, saying, "Oh, I wish I could have been there to  watch her  clean up."

So, next time you have one of these moments of pure JOY, grab your camera, smile big, tell your other children, "It's ok," and let them think you've lost your mind...or perhaps just gained a more gentle and quiet spirit that knows one should never cry over flying cornstarch.

The Adventure

The Adventurer when brought before Queen Mama by shocked siblings.

What kind of place is this anyway? 

Shouldn't someone have been watching him?

Close-up of Adventurer's distress. Melt my heart. How could I be upset?

After reprieve, the Adventurer returns to the scene of said adventure.

His final thoughts before clean-up: "Something's wrong. They're just letting me play in this mess. Hmm, it just doesn't seem as fun anymore."

Truly, I'm thankful for having matured just a bit over these 16 years as a Mama to be able to laugh at moments like this, knowing one day I'll wish I had a baby who makes mischief in the cornstarch.

I'm thankful my children teach me daily to relax and not sweat the small stuff, or rather, the cornstarch. But, oh, I'm a slow learner!

I'm thankful God didn't give me children because I'm so qualified or deserving, but  because He's gracious and kind and merciful.

I'm thankful for moments like this that make me praise the LORD for His many mercies to me.

I'm thankful that our adventures might bring a smile to your face and remind you how beautiful life is and how good God is.

"Grateful love is the true spring of real obedience to Christ."
~J.C. Ryle,
Expository Thoughts on the Gospel, Luke

With love,

And Baby Makes........

(I'm using Larri's "fact post" idea, but I don't think she'll mind.)

It's a fact that none of you thought I told Mountain Man we had won the lottery. It's a fact that y'all are a smart bunch, and I can't fool any of you.

It's a fact that we're expecting another blessing to grace our home next June.

It's a fact that after knowing the pain of miscarriage, I feel very vulnerable announcing a pregnancy. I know so well how quickly good news can turn to sad, and I know that every day this baby continues to grow is a miracle.

It's a fact that this is the earliest we've shared about being pregnant since I had my first miscarriages 7 years ago.

It's a fact that we prayed for this baby. We prayed and prayed and prayed.

It's a fact that I've never suffered from morning sickness.....but I've had a host of other complications to make up for it. :)

It's a fact that most of our family members think we're crazy and much of their congratulations are wrapped in skepticism and shaking heads and even a bit of scolding.

It's a fact that my heart is sad when others can't rejoice with us.

It's a fact that every family should have the JOY of having their pastor react as ours did when we announced the good news this past Sunday at church. His excitement blessed our hearts beyond words! I wish I could have had that moment on tape....just to play when we hear the negative comments or the silence.

It's a fact that while I rejoice, I'm profoundly aware of the aching, empty wombs in my midst. I'm aware of the Mommies who've just lost babies or who are still waiting for one or are past the time of ever having another one. I'm aware that my joy can often cause pain to the Mama who is in a different place. Oh, I'm so aware, and I've been in some of those places, and for those Mommies who read this and find their hearts aching, I'm so sorry, and I hug you in my heart and pray for God's comfort and grace to abound in you. Please don't think that my rejoicing means I'm indifferent to your hurting hearts.

It's a fact that I don't deserve this baby, and it's a fact that I'm humbled by God's kindness to us.

It's a fact that God gave us the best anniversary getaway present EVER. Can I tell you the thrill it was to tell my Mountain Man that we were having another baby?? Isn't God's timing AMAZING?

It's a fact that our children are delighted!

It's a fact that when asked by someone if I was "mildly excited, very excited, or tremendously excited," I replied, "When I found out, I fell to the floor and praised and worshipped God."

It's a fact that Michele found out we were having a baby before she died. It's a fact that she also knew that if our baby is a girl, her middle name will be Michele. It's a fact that Michele was happy for us, and I pray, happy to know how we would be honoring her.

It's a fact that this life growing in me is a great comfort and encouragement and blessing and gift and treasure in the midst of missing my Dad and Michele.

It's a fact that I'm so grateful and so in awe of God's mercies.

It's a fact that I took A LOT of pregnancy tests.

It's a fact that I'd love for you to pray for us and this precious new life being knit together. It's a fact that if you're happy for us, I'd LOVE for you to encourage my heart with good words.

It's a fact that I don't know what tomorrow will bring but that my heart is full of faith and gratitude, and I know that whatever God does, He'll give me a heart that will rejoice in His wisdom, even if it's a hard providence.

It's a fact that I've probably posted too many facts, and it's a fact that if you're still with me, you're AMAZING!

Thank you in advance for rejoicing with us. I'm so grateful to you all.

With love,

"Would You Rather I...."

Parents of large families do best if they develop a certain sturdiness, a self-confidence; it comes in handy for the kids and for the comments....As for the fear of slack-jawed Wal-Mart greeters spotting your crew and counting out loud--are you really going to give them power over your family size?" ~Mary Ostyn, A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family

This article might be blunt, but it truly describes what many Moms of many children (and I don't mean just the Duggar family....Moms with more than two children often hear these comments, too) experience when they walk out the door.  Even more disappointing is that much of the criticism and insensitive comments often come from Christians.  My doctor and my dental hygenist were actually more excited for us about this new blessing than some of our friends.  Have we forgotten that God says children are a blessing?

Face it.  We live in a culture that completely devalues the gift of children.  Just the other day I saw an ad for a food product with a screaming child in center and the words, "You can't return them, so feed them."  Most would look at that and just chuckle, but really, we should find it offensive. 

Sometimes I think it might be helpful to wear a shirt that would cover all the questions....

"Yes, we know how this happens."

"We already own a tv."

"Yes, you counted right...there are 7." (One man stopped in the middle of Costco and counted out very LOUDLY.....one, two, three, etc. until he had everybody's attention.)

"Yes, they're all ours."

"No, please don't bow to me.  I'm not perfect." (One woman bowed to me in Sam's because I had 5 children)

"Yes, our hands our full, and God has really blessed us so much."

"Yes, I actually love being a Mom."

"You're probably right...better me than you."

But, on the other hand, I love being out with all of our children because they are a blessing and the world needs to see that.  We are a witness for the redeeming power of Jesus Christ which is the very reason I've not answered any rude comments with more rudeness in return.  Anything and everything, and I mean anything and everything, in my life that glorifies God is only because of His work in me.  I'm not naturally organized, patient, or selfless.  I'm a sinner saved by His amazing grace.

I know the comments often come from the wonder that a person would actually delight in so many children because our culture doesn't see enough of the beauty of what God does with our sinful, messy lives when we trust and live for Him.  Yet, I've NEVER had a woman approach me and lament because she had that 4th, 5th, or 6th child, but I've had several women sadly say they wished they would have/could have had more children.

So, the next time you see a Mom of Many out with her blessings, try not to let your mouth fall too wide open.  Be discreet about the counting.  Don't ask thoughtless questions.  Don't size her up to see if she deserves to get a word of encouragement from you.

Just smile, and tell her how blessed she is. You'll make her day.

Love,
Queen Mom