God ordains clothes to witness to the glory we have lost,
and it is added rebellion to throw them off.
~John Piper
*******
It was hard not to stare at them. It wasn't because their skirts were so high, or because their shirts were so low. In fact, they were some of the most modestly dressed young ladies I had seen in a long time.
But, there they were, in the middle of the store, acting like pigs with gold rings in their snouts (Prov. 11:22). Gathered in a semi-circle, they listened to their friend read passages from Fifty Shades of Gray. Of course, the reader, perhaps to ease her conscience, declared to them, "I don't usually read stuff like this."
And yes, I did it. I gave them the look as I covered my little girl's ears and looked to move past them. They realized their indiscretion, not enough to put them book down, but enough to move out of the middle aisle and to a side one. Their giggles were haunting, and yes, this was the perfect confirmation that clothes alone don't define modesty or accurately reflect the heart.
But the fact that this is true doesn't mean that clothes don't define or measure at all. Today's only rule among even many Christian woman regarding modesty is that there should be no rules. And we older women are second-guessing ourselves--maybe we don't have enough grace? Maybe we're just not with it? To address what one wears surely can't be gospel-centered.
So, can't we just dispense with all this talk about modesty and move on to more important things? No. Because clothing matters, even though our culture says it doesn't, the culture that surrounds our children and hungers to mold them into their godless image.
Many affirm that how we dress is a heart issue, and thus, not anyone's business. But the truth that it is a heart issue is the very reason we must diligently address this topic.
"Clothes are not meant to make people think about what is under the clothes. Clothes are meant to direct attention to what is not under them: merciful hands that serve others in the name of Christ, beautiful feet that carry the gospel where it is needed, and the brightness of a face that has beheld the glory of Jesus."
~John Piper
Not Just Rules is a new e-book written by my friend, Bambi Moore. I confess bias in that I do love this woman. She loves the Lord wholeheartedly and carries with her a teachable spirit. Her desire is to glorify Him in all things, and from that desire came this book, a gift to her daughters and a gift to other women struggling with this issue or who simply need encouragement.
Bambi does a great job of covering the heart of the matters of beauty and modesty. If we fail to understand what true beauty is, then we'll always be fighting to claim it in the most immodest of ways, whether it's by wearing suggestive clothing or by clothing ourselves with pride and self-righteousness.
My favorite chapter? Chapter 10, "Read Any Good Books Lately?" Bambi addresses well the issue of "arriving" at modesty. Her claim that we won't ever arrive, as in eliminating the need to examine our wardrobe and our hearts, but will constantly have to battle the temptations of the culture and our own sinfulness, is a good one and very insightful.
I also appreciate Bambi's exhortation to remember we're all at different places in our sanctification. Our calling is to be instruments of God's grace to each other, and we speak best into the lives of those we love well. If you never speak a kind word to an acquaintance and then suddenly take issue with her about her dress, you're not going to be heard.
My least favorite chapter was Chapter 4, "Imperishable Beauty." This wasn't written by Bambi at all, but was a short story from the Grace Gems archive, which seemed a bit too maudlin for me. I think Bambi makes her point well enough in her book that this wasn't needed.
Bambi's inclusion of wisdom from Calvin and Ryle and Lloyd-Jones and other older writers are a welcome bonus, as well as the extensive resource index.
Reading this book confirmed that we can have different ideas of modesty while still affirming a common spirit of modesty in our dress and behavior. There were points in which I disagreed with Bambi, like when she writes of her family's caution about women hugging men. I've never considered this an issue, and I think that most hugging done between Christian men and women is not the tight and tempting hugging that Bambi is concerned about. But, I do appreciate her desire to be cautious and not a stumbling block to others in any way.
Not Just Rules is an engaging and thoughtful study of modesty that is great to walk through with our daughters, and it provides much food for discussion. The best thing about it is it's constant focus on the heart and the truth that our thoughts on beauty and dress reflect how we see ourselves in Christ. And I wonder if this is what many Moms miss in teaching their daughters about God-honoring attire, for I can count on one hand the number of young ladies I've watched grow up dressing modestly who have not later surrendered to the fashions of the day at least in some small way. And small compromises usually give way to bigger ones.
Modesty is a divisive issue. It's the one area that we delight in looking like the pagan and will cry "Pharisee" as soon as we're reminded of the command to be set apart, to be in the world , but not of it. We long to strip the issue of modesty of any objectivity and make it completely subjective because God didn't give us a hem length on any page of the Bible.
So, if you already believe that any discussion of standards in this area are legalistic, then this book isn't for you, for you will not hear the heart of the matter, you will not read of gospel or grace, even though they're written all over the pages.
But if you want a basic resource to push you to clarify your own thoughts on modesty, to encourage you to dig deeper into the Word, to stand fast, to discuss with your children why you and your family dress the way you do, then No More Rules will help you do just that.
With love,
Trisha
Bambi's having a big giveaway today at www.nurseryofthenation.com. You can visit there to find out more about purchasing her e-book at an amazing price today.
