Christian Discernment and Candace Cameron as a Model of Modesty

Controversy, bad theology, and depressing news are just a few of the reasons I try to avoid checking e-mail or getting on the internet first thing in the morning. Stuff like that tends to make my heart beat a bit faster, I get distracted from my priorities, and I get worked up and feel compelled to fight a battle that usually isn't mine.

But this battle is an important one, for us and our children.

Today's fast-hearbeat-inducing-story has to do with the highly praised Candace Cameron. She's acclaimed for maintaining standards of modesty while dancing with another man in a sensual manner on a show called Dancing With the Stars. And because she doesn't look exactly like the typical DWTS dancer, we're praising her. Yay! Finally here is a model of modesty.

And here we are speaking from both sides of our mouths as we tell our children to be in the world but not of it and then praise "stars" like this for their bit of restraint. There is no dying to self going on here, my friends, just because Cameron decides not to let it all hang out and doesn't get as sensual as she could while dancing with a man who is not her husband.

You can do your own search to see a clip of her dancing as well as pictures of her rehearsal outfit. Both instances should lead us to question why we think she's a role model of modesty and why her husband isn't bothered by her intimate moves with another man. And both should cause us to wonder why we're so easily pleased, and what kind of hypocrites we are to teach our daughters about modesty but embrace Cameron's very immodest heart and appearance.

Are we dwelling so much in the darkness that we don't know the light? Do we have such a low view of holiness that we've lost sight of what it really means to shine as a bright light in this very dark world?

With love,
Trisha

The Ordinary Arts

photo copyright: poffclan

A Little Bit of Shame Would Be Good

There's an "Intimacy Challenge" making its rounds on the internet. 10 straight days of sex is the goal.

It's being called an "Intimacy Challenge" so it sounds a bit more refined and respectable than that Sexperiment stuff some pastor did some time ago. But really???  I want to know what books you're reading and what great things God is doing in your life. But I don't want to know, nor do I need to know, how often you're having sex. And if you're having problems in this area, talk to your pastor or another 3D someone who can offer you counsel and encouragement.

Can you imagine these conversations around the dinner table?

"Well, son, how are things going with you and your bride?"
"Great, Dad. We're doing that 10 day intimacy challenge. 10 straight days of sex."

Or how about chatting about it in the foyer at church:

"How's your week been, Sally?"
 "Oh, terrific. John and I are having 10 straight days of sex."

Would you not think these conversations a bit out of place? Indiscreet? And yet, we're willing to broadcast such things to an even greater audience on social media.

Go ahead. Call me a prude, but my objection isn't because I think sex is dirty; it's because I know it's not. It is sacred and beautiful and not meant to be set up as a 10 day challenge for all the world to see. And the fact that men are not better keepers of the sacredness of this area of their marriages, seen in the writing of a blog post (which I've chosen not to link here) and in the "liking" on Facebook, and "I'm in!" illustrate how backwards it all is.

Shame is being aware that something is improper or ridiculous or dishonorable, and public challenges like this are exactly that because the marriage bed is SO honorable.

Theodore Dalrymple's thoughts are quite timely: "No one seems to have noticed, however, that a loss of a sense of shame means a loss of privacy; a loss of privacy means a loss of intimacy; and a loss of intimacy means a loss of depth. There is, in fact, no better way to produce shallow and superficial people than to let them live their lives entirely in the open, without concealment of anything."

With love,
Trisha

When This Happens, There Will Always Be An Explosion

The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth, because 

I testify of it, that the works thereof are evil.

~John. 7:7

 

*******

There's plenty of commentary on The Duck Dynasty affair, but I think this excerpt from D. A. Carson's For the Love of God is very timely:

"Rather naively, some of us think that if Jesus were alive today, our tolerant culture would not give Him a really rough time, much less crucify Him. We would simply marginalize Him, treat Him as if He were a harmless eccentric. Is that true? Not according to John. The issues are bound up with the nature of fallenness and its response to holiness.

Both by His flawless character and by His candid speech, Jesus makes 'the world' horribly uncomfortable. How long would Jesus have lasted in Stalin's Russia? In Hitler's Germany? Or in Northern Ireland? Or the Balkans? Or in the United States? The least we would do, I imagine, is have Him committed for psychiatric evaluation. But I doubt that it would end there. Consider just one small arena: Some of my friends have had their lives repeatedly threatened because they publicly oppose homosexual marriages. These are not homophobes or gay bashers. Some of them have proven wonderfully fruitful and loving in their ministries to gays and straights alike. Were Jesus ministering among us today, I have no doubt that such death threats would have become assassination.

The implication of 7:7 is that Jesus' brothers belong to the world. That is why they fit in so well. Are we being faithful if no one hates us? This candid exposure of the world is not smug one-upmanship, disgusting self-righteousness. Jesus is righteous; He is holy. Where sin and holiness collide, there will always be an explosion. And we sinners must come to recognize our deep sinfulness, or we will never turn to the Savior for help."
~D. A. Carson, For the Love of God, Vol. 2, December 17th

Columbus Lectures by Dr. George Grant

Be a myth-buster, and listen to these lectures by Dr. George Grant about Columbus. The first lecture is FREE.

Columbus and the Old World

Happy Columbus Day!

Large Families and Jacob's God

The Rev. Moses Browne had twelve children. On one remarking to him, "Sir, you have just as many children as Jacob," he replied, "Yes, and I have Jacob's God to provide for them."

~G. S. Bowes, in Spurgeon's Treasury of David

******

My Mountain Man received notice that unless there's an end to this government shutdown, he'll be without work after next Friday. I've cried a lot of tears since then, and I've borrowed a bit of trouble, too, as I imagined living without his paycheck. What can we sell? What expenses can we cut? How is God calling me to repentance? How can I keep my eyes fixed on Christ and just do the next thing? How can I be a cheerful mother and an encouraging wife? Where can I get a job?

Facing a period of no income with a large family is trying in its own way. The amount of food we consume in a week, many families consume in a month. With lots of Blessings, there is usually someone who needs something right now--a new pair of shoes or a visit to the dentist or a new toothbrush.

Some large families, homeschooling families at that, are wealthy and can afford educational trips to Scotland or can build mega-sized homes debt free, but many of us struggle each month to figure out how to make the food budget stretch just a bit more.

And then there are those prejudices inherent to a child-hating society. "What?! You have all of those children, but you don't ________________." (Fill in any of the expectations our culture has of what makes for a worthy childhood.)

We think child abuse is depriving a child of extra-curricular activities or having her own designer bedroom. We equate "good parent" with one who has a college fund for each child and massive amounts of cash set aside for a rainy day.

We often expect large families to look into the future in ways we'd never ask smaller families to do--"Yes, you may have this many children as long as you can easily pay for and anticipate every need and emergency that will happen over the next 20 years. Otherwise, you are completely irresponsible."

And Christians can be the worst, for they spout about trusting in the Lord and walking by faith and not by sight, and they cry for His daily bread, but they don't really mean daily, as in having to rely on God to provide for this week's groceries or even today's car repairs. That would be foolish. What they really mean is, "The wise man has at least six months' income set aside to cover every possible emergency," and they say this as they raise their eyebrows and wonder why you have all of those children and are worrying about medical bills and how far you can make a tank of gas last.

And it's hard not to feel a bit of the shame.

Am I saying that we should all live paycheck to paycheck, that there's some greater holiness in doing so? Of course not, and there certainly isn't anything romantic about it. It can be a blessing to not have to worry each day about having "enough, " and it's a blessing to be able to give to those in need, right when they need it.

Yet, it is true that God uses both abundance and need to teach contentment and make us more like Christ. Need doesn't know what it's like to just take a trip on a whim or buy brand new living room furniture or give a thousand dollars to the visiting missionary or see in advance that the year's bills are paid, and Abundance might not know what it's like to whisper a prayer of thanks over "just enough" and rejoice over God's miraculous provision.

Yes, Jacob's God is the God of large families, too, and we can trust in His provision, whether it comes in the form of a large bank account or a small one. Whether His provision comes in knowing there's enough money for many days ahead or simply for the next couple of weeks.

And when you are tempted to despair and you hear, pounding in your head, our culture's accusations that you are irresponsible for having so many children when you don't have the next 20 years perfectly provided for (because they really do, you know), remember this:

"He gives children, not as a penalty nor as a burden, but as a favour. They are a token for good if men know how to receive them and educate them. They are 'doubtful' blessings only because we are doubtful persons. Where society is rightly ordered children are regarded, not as an incumbrance, but as an inheritance; and they are received, not with regret, but as a reward."
~Spurgeon

"...a large number of children means a large number of trials; but when these are met by faith in the Lord, it also means a mass of love, and a multitude of joys."
~Spurgeon

With love,
Trisha

Another Barna Poll and Women Making an Idol of Family

This poll from Barna, released over a year ago, but making its appearance again with a new article from Patheos, has me scratching my head and wondering why we're making the conclusion that women now put their families over their faith. Here's what the Barna president says about the study:

The president of Barna Group, David Kinnaman, offers this commentary on the research. “Some may interpret this research as a false choice: can women be asked to choose between their role as a parent and that of their faith? They see motherhood as core to what it means to disciple and be discipled. Others may conclude this study shows too many women have created an 'idol' of their family, perhaps at the expense of their devotion to Christ.

But then Barna states this in the study: 

Though women project a calm, confident exterior when it comes to their faith, the research suggests their spiritual lives are rarely their most important source of identity.

Can we really assert this conclusion from this study?

I'm not an expert in statistics, and I have not studied the poll at length. There are many things to discuss about it, but here are three things that stand out to me as  major concerns with this study.

1) Let's define Christian: This should be the first question with any of these Barna studies. If the pollster just asks, "Are you a Christian" or "Do you consider yourself a Christian?" without further explanation, we have a mixed bag already and perhaps we should take all Barna polls with a grain of salt.

The Patheos article seems to include Mormons as a viable option under the label Christian. No doubt  Mormons elevate family over EVERYTHING.

2) Is being a follower of Christ a "role?": How many of us think of being a Christian in these terms, or rather, do we think of the roles we have as flowing from who we are in Christ?  There is a HUGE difference between these two perspectives! I think the question is a tricky one, and that women who answer that their most important roles are being wives and mothers should not be assumed to be making an idol of their families. What if the question were posed as a multiple choice? "Out of the following roles, which do you consider most important?" No doubt we would see different results.

Consider this story from Joni Eareckson:

"What's the most important thing you do, Joni?" It was a press conference in Poland. My mind, like a computer, zipped through a list of possible answers: speaking...painting...writing...singing. I clicked off another list: campaigning against a euthanasia initiative on the state ballot, visiting cerebral palsied teenagers, delivering wheelchairs and Bibles to disabled people in Africa. 

All of this is significant to me. Especially since it means exhausting travel and long hours away from home. But what is most important to me? I smiled. Among all the options, I knew.

"Being a good wife to my husband." The group of twenty reporters chuckled. I guessed their thoughts. She can't be serious. Her books are in so many languages...she's speaking here in Poland and in other countries around the world. Surely she's being gratuitous...

Would any of us accuse Joni of putting her role as a wife before being a Christian, or is it clear to us that her role as a wife is so highly valued and made a priority BECAUSE she is a Christian and puts Jesus first?

3) Look around us: If anything betrays the assertion that Christian women have their highest priorities set on family, it's what we see before us every day. Our churches and our culture are so affected by feminism that we don't even recognize the signs anymore. I'm convinced that even many complementarians are really feminists at heart. Feminist ideology is in the air we breath, and we have to push back its lies every day and guard against their favorite question, "Did God really say?"


With love,
Trisha

Facebook One Year Later~What I Love and What I Hate

A little over a year ago, my Mountain Man and I took the plunge and signed up for a Facebook account. Yes, this crusading anti-Facebook Mama had to choke on her words...and as a result of my time there, I wrote a few things about how to behave on Facebook.

Like many, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. It's mostly what you make it, but it's also what other people make it, and sometimes the two get tangled, and things get messy, and I don't like that part.

What I Hate

I hate that most of it really isn't private. There's a nifty sidebar that tells you what every friend you have is doing--how many levels of Candy Crush they've conquered and what posts they liked and what they said. That's really none of my business, and it's frustrating to realize that complete strangers have the potential to see almost everything I post.

I hate that people get testy and let differences interfere with fellowship. As I've mentioned before, Facebook is a medium for expressing our opinions, and often our opinions offend others. With reasonable friends, I know I can discourse with them in a friendly, or even in a heated, way, and we'll still be friends. But, with others, that's not the case. It's easy to be censorious and to take the bait (I've done that!) when we just need to agree to disagree.

I hate that Facebook can be a means of discontentment. Perhaps part of it is knowing what so many people are doing instead of a small circle of friends. The temptation is to be dissatisfied with one's own lot, and when that happens, it's important to take responsibility for our own sin instead of blaming others for "making us" feel dissatisfied.

I hate when people say it's not real. Many have said that none of this social media is "real", which always leaves me wondering why any of us are doing it then in the first place. Of course, it is real. It is a limited reality, though, just as work relationships often are and, sadly, even some church-family connections. Those who interact with us only on Facebook will never get the big picture of our lives, but that doesn't make Facebook an artificial world that happens only in our imaginations.

I hate that it's a time-wasting temptation. It's easier to justify time spent there because Facebook can be quickly checked and statuses easily commented on. But minutes add up to hours and hours add up to days. And our lives are the measure of our days. Are we spending them well? For me, I have to consciously watch my time and guard against social media becoming an easy answer for not dealing with the undesirables of life.

What I Love

I love being able to access the help and knowledge of others. It's amazing what friends know and what friends can do. When Clairesy injured her head in a fall, and I posted a question about getting stitches, a nearby  friend quickly answered my question and was at our home in 10 minutes. Another friend shared a helpful tip about dealing with congestion in infants--something this long-time mother had never heard of, and yet another made a recommendation that helped me survive hard water for a time.

I love the encouragement and prayers and awesome shared quotations and book recommendations.

I love enjoying the big and small moments of delight and victory in others' lives.

I love the conversations that make me think.

I love the surprise connections that God has ordained there. You just never know how God can use even Facebook, and we now have connections with two very special families because of our time spent there.

I love that Facebook can be a mirror that reveals the darkness of our hearts.  Am I petty? Do I always have to have the last word? Do I care about others enough to encourage them and pray for them? Am I envious? Do I struggle to rejoice with others? Do I have self-control? Am I a coward, or am I bold about what I believe? Do I fear God or man? Am I a good steward of my time? Am I addicted to social media?

Will we continue with Facebook? For now, remembering that it's wise to regularly evaluate anything we do, making sure it accurately reflects our priorities and isn't a stumbling block to living a life for God's glory.


With love,
Trisha

How to Behave on Facebook

"So far as we are under its (the fear of the Lord) influence, we speak, pray, think and deal with man, as if God was standing by."

~Charles Bridges

*****

Perhaps there should be a manual for Christians to study before signing up for Facebook. You know, How to Deal with Facebook Conflict, and Not Be the Cause of It Yourself. I wonder if there's any form of social media that is so frustrating and deceptive. Maybe if C. S. Lewis were writing his Screwtape Letters today, he would have set it in a digital world and included Facebook as one of Satan's primary tools for division and contention.

I've already made several mistakes in my use of Facebook. I've given offense. I've taken offense. I've made people big and God small. I've said too much. I've said too little. I've been misunderstood, and I've misunderstood.

So, I've thought about what I would teach our younger children about navigating this turbulent sea of communication. Of course the first thing I would tell them is that wisdom is already available for how to behave on Facebook, and it's, of course, the wisdom they've been taught all these years. His wisdom. His Word.

And here would be my other suggestions:

1) Think twice: Facebook is sometimes like a maze that one can't find her way out of. Used appropriately, it is a delightful way to interact with and encourage others, but it can also be a means of drama and division. Why do you want to be there, and will you be resolved to leave if it's not an edifying use of your time?

2) Have your pastor as your friend: The restraining influence of the presence of those who shepherd us and must give an account of our souls is a blessed thing. I know not everyone has this luxury, but if you do, thank God for it.

3) Act according to your purpose: Is your FB page to promote your business or your blog? Or is it to connect with those you know? Is it a tool to share the Gospel with others? Obviously, why we're on FB affects what we share and who we will let be our "friends" and continue to be our "friends."

4) Remember to walk worthy of your calling: You belong to Jesus and your status updates and "likes" and photos should reflect this truth.

5) Keep your keyboard under Divine discipline: Ponder what you're communicating, and pray about it. Refrain from meddling and being contentious, for, as Charles Bridges explains, "A wide difference is made between 'suffering as a busybody and suffering as a Christian' ". Exhibit self-control, not letting the heat of the moment dictate the speed of your response,

"But the true peace-maker, while he deplores the strife, well knows, that interference in the moment of irritation will kindle rather than extinguish, the fire. Yet his self-control is not indifference. He commits the matter to Him whose wisdom He so greatly needs." (Bridges)

6) Remember the difference between "friends" and "friendly": Facebook has hijacked the word "friend" and morphed it into an often meaningless title. Most of the people on Facebook are not your friends. They are acting friendly towards you, but they are not with you in the trenches of everyday life, or the ones you call in the midst of a crisis. I've discovered that "friends" on Facebook are often digital versions of nosy neighbors peeking over the fence to see what the latest neighborhood gossip is. Instead of fences, though, we deliver the news via status updates. We have an obligation to be friendly with everyone. We do not have an obligation to be friends with everyone.

7) Remember your "friends" have a right to do what they will with their Facebook page: Facebook is often the forum where you discover what your "friends" really think about hot-button issues, like education and parenting and theology and politics. It's not our responsibility to correct everyone and set them straight on the issues at hand. Yes, there are those with whom we can have friendly debates, but wisdom requires knowing who they are and acting accordingly, for not everyone has a teachable spirit or thinks you're the iron that should be sharpening them.

8) Avoid talebearing and talebearers: The talebearer delights in stirring up strife and "raking up old and forgotten tales." (Bridges) Since being on Facebook, I've learned that the man who is connected with the denomination I am part of is a heretic (that would make me one, too). I've also learned that he has encouraged women to be chained to their kitchen sinks and have babies (obviously not at the same time) until their uteri fall out. Yes. This is the kind of distasteful and unChristian talk that goes on in some parts of the Facebook world. Bridges, in his wonderful commentary on Proverbs, says we should stop the talebearer in his words, "compel him to produce his authority; face him, if possible, with the subject of his tales. This decisive course will prevent a mass of slander, and put him to shame." 

I agree with this in most cases, but I also think it's wise to ask yourself if you are the one to do this. In some instances, it's better to remove yourself from the flurry of false information, and let people think of you what they will.

9) Be a peacemaker: You'll often give offense simply by being who you are and sharing what you believe. For these things, you can't apologize. But, there might be times when you've been unfriendly or unwise in your communication. If so, make it right with the offended party. Remember, too, the value of covering offenses in love, ignoring updates that make you bristle, and avoiding the temptation to censure others. And sometimes using the "unfriend" button is the most peaceable thing you can do, for yourself and for others.

10) Let Facebook be a better place because you are there: Show yourself friendly. Pray faithfully for others. Speak the truth in love. Avoid contentious "friends. Surrender the need to defend yourself at every turn. Clothe yourself in humility. Let your fear of God be BIG and your fear of man be small. Give encouraging words. Share those funny details of your day. Point to Jesus. Praise His name by speaking of His mercies. Be salt and light (remembering that some will hate you for it).

With love,
Trisha

The Hunger Games. Book? Movie? Yes? No? What?

This might be the first post I've written in which Ink will disagree with me. It's ok. Our relationship is very solid and can take it, though you probably would have loved to been in our living room watching the volley of debate during and after the movie. And I promise you this post won't make it to his Flotsam and Jetsam. :)

When dear Claire and I arrived at the hospital last week, I had nothing with me, so my Beloved brought up a small bag of some essentials. What did I find tucked away in that bag but a copy of The Hunger Games.

I smiled big at my son's hint to just read the book. You see, he plows through lots of books a year, and while I'm a big reader, too, my books often take detours among diaper changes and sibling quarrels and meal planning and house cleaning and discipleship, etc. But here it was 3 in the morning, my ankles were as big as an elephant's from such stellar hospital sleeping accommodations, and I decided to just plunge into this very controversial book.

I finished it five days later and was impressed by Collins style of writing, which I though well-suited the main character and the story itself. This is not Dickens here, nor should it be. I was drawn into the story and even found myself attached to some of the characters. I was most annoyed with the constant kissing in the latter part of the book, mainly because I had already gotten the point, and found Collins' descriptions to be overkill.

That said. Would I recommend the book? Yes. (And no, I'm not going to write an essay justifying that recommendation. Search the internet, and you'll find plenty of others who have taken the time to do that as well as those who will tell you it's a vile sin to visit the pages of this book.)

Of course, my finishing the book was part of my preparation for watching the movie. And that we did last night. I braced myself for a cry-fest since the book really did move me. Instead of crying, though, I found myself slightly frustrated and wanting to cry, "Foul!" more times than not.

Here are my observations about the book and the movie:

1) If you read this book and watch the movie just a couple of days later, you might be frustrated at the significant details that were left out, details that I think affected character development and the entire tone of the story.

2) If you watch this movie with others who read the book MONTHS ago, they will wonder why you're annoyed. They've forgotten many of the details, but you haven't, and it might be wise to keep your objections to yourself. I think my fellow viewers might have been calling me "killjoy", in their heads, of course.

3) If you're wondering if you should watch the movie or read the book first, this is one story I'd tell you to watch first. Then, you won't be so angry during the movie and you'll end up pleasantly surprised at what a different story it really is after you read the book.

4) I'm 38 weeks pregnant. You can just poke me, like the Pillsbury Doughboy, and tears will flow. But, the only time I cried during this movie was when Katniss volunteered for Prim. Even the scene with Rue, which they didn't get right, didn't move me like it did in the book.

5) If you've only watched the movie, you don't really know the story. You don't know enough to even have an opinion on the story, I'd say. (Ink is bristling at this point. Sorry, son.) You don't know Katniss and her thoughts through this disgusting ordeal, you don't even know the other characters, and you've missed out on so many essential details.

Details like Rue's arm reaching out to Katniss from the net, the crown being broken in two, Cato dying a slow death, the bread from District 11 being given to Katniss, Cato's coming at Katniss first instead of the mutant dogs, how Katniss got the mockingjay pin, the amazing feast delivered to Katniss and Peeta in the cave, Katniss and Peeta actually putting the berries in their mouths, etc.

6) This is one case in which I think the book and movie tell different stories. Of course, it's the SAME story, but reading the one will make a strong impression and bring many questions and reflections, while watching the other will leave you a bit entertained, disturbed, and somewhat indifferent.

With love,
Trisha

What 18 Years Without Birth Control Looks Like

"Not one particle of dust moves on a well-travelled road, but God raises it, directs its motion, and directs it to the specific place He appointed for it. The strongest wind cannot move it from its appointed place. Man can  be very confident that God exercises the most accurate providence over him and his affairs.

~Ezekiel Hopkins 

My goal isn't to persuade you not to use birth control, nor am I making a judgment about a particular situation or exception (because I'm well aware there is always an extreme situation or exception). I used birth control for the first several years of our marriage, though regrettably so (but that's another story). My goal is to address this foolishness that we can trust God with EVERYTHING except our wombs. And yes, I'm a woman who has battled chronic illness and other complications that some would use as reasons not to have more children. Pregnancy is not typically a walk in the park for me, so please don't assume I haven't walked in hard, faith-testing places. Please remember this before you leave comments.

 Al Mohler's past piece about Christians and birth control is an interesting one. I admire the man and respect his thoughts on many subjects. He's a much needed voice of Scriptural truth in our depraved culture. And yes, in this post, he affirms that children are a blessing and Christians need to see them that way. In general, he offers much wisdom that is not just counter-cultural, but is counter to Christian-culture. He also cautions against using abortifacient forms of birth control. But then he throws in this:

"Fourth, Christian couples are not ordered by Scripture to maximize the largest number of children that could be conceived. Given our general state of health in advanced societies, a couple who marries in their early twenties and has a healthy and regular sex life could well produce over fifteen offspring before the wife passes her early forties. Such families should be rightly honored, but this level of reproduction is certainly not mandated by the Bible."

Fifteen offspring? Wow! That's a bit scary! I can hear newlyweds around the world repeating this caution: "Honey, just imagine if we didn't use birth control. We might end up with 15 children!" 

The truth is, that's not what normally happens, and we should be cautious about assuming that every couple who renounces birth control is going to end up with a specific "level of reproduction."

When a couple is infertile, we ache for them while echoing the truth that God opens and closes the womb, reminding them to TRUST Him.  But for everyone else we encourage them to use "common sense" and not forget the birth control because though God opens and closes the womb, He might just slip up and make a mistake, giving you one too many babies or a baby when you think you're too old or you can't afford it, etc. Why not affirm that children are a gift and God does open and close the womb, and He will bless us with the very number of children His wisdom dictates?

Here's one picture of 18 years of life without birth control.

1995-son

1997-son

2000-daughter

2002-son

2003-2004-two miscarriages

2005-daughter

2007-daughter

2008-miscarriage

2009-daughter

2010-son

2011-miscarriage

2012-God-willing, another son

Let me help you picture it another way:

If some of my friends shared what marriage without birth control looked like for them, you'd see pictures without ANY children, pictures that include just a few children, and so on.

It's good for us to consider why we think the God who sovereignly and wisely controls when even a leaf or a sparrow falls to the ground or where a piece of dust blows in the wind would not just as wisely open and close our wombs. 

With love,

Trisha

Somebody Help Her! She Choketh!

I've shared before about making my children promise they'd never be on Facebook before I die.  And then I had to eat my words when Ink signed up for the Great Social Network. I included these thoughts while I was busy coughing and sputtering.

In fact, you probably don't really want me to join Facebook because if I did, I'd have to eat so much crow, I'd surely choke to death. (And I'd even have a few friends ready to spoon-feed me.)


My Beloved and I signed up for FB last night. I'm busy eating crow, but I have to say that friends have been most welcoming! 

And yes, I'm still ambivalent about social networking, and you'd probably roll your eyes if you knew how much thought I gave to joining FB and the discussions I put my Beloved through, or perhaps you'd say, "I completely understand!"

But now you know. I did it.

I'm off to finish eating my words as I ponder why my Mother Dear still hasn't accepted my friend request. I feel a mini-depression coming on.

With love,
Trisha

House Envy

I remember my first exposure to those words. My new friend, showing me parts of the town, described those people living in the trailers as "white trash." Her disdain for single-wide living was clear, even though she'd never met the faces behind those doors.

When we moved to NM, we were shocked by the cost of living, and we were hating living in our rental, the kind where the neighbors can hear every conversation and you can ask to borrow eggs without ever leaving your home. Just shout in the window right across from yours.

We opted for manufactured housing on a couple acres in a rural area. At the time we thought we had a big house. 7 more children later, and I'm constantly calculating how to better work our space. But I'm well aware of the stigma of manufactured housing. Even the wise Dave Ramsey tells you you're flushing your money down the toilet if you buy one.

As women, our homes are often great sources of pride. It's not unusual to spend more time making our homes look great while our hearts rot away. Too often we forget that we make the house a home, but we don't automatically have a home just because we have a house. I love how my 2 year old always corrects me when he sees our house. I say, "That's our house." He replies, "No, home. Home." Already he shows wisdom beyond his years.

If you've even glanced at a home show on tv before, you quickly discover that the home you live in is SO outdated. Surely, you can't live with such a small bathroom. Surely your children shouldn't have to share a bedroom. Surely, surely, surely, you shouldn't have to live like that.

Instead of being inspired to make our abodes the best they can be, we're filled with discontentment and convince ourselves we need something bigger or better.

What we're often saying to our husbands when we complain about the homes we live in is, "You're not doing and providing enough." Ouch! Imagine your husband coming home every day and saying, "Honey, you're just not doing enough around here. Nothing is good enough that you've given me." Yes, there are slacker husbands who need to step up and be better providers, but most of us are blessed with husbands who sacrifice moment by moment for us.

Even more grievous is the truth that when we complain about our homes, we're telling God HE hasn't provided enough.

What if God never provides for you to have a bigger or newer home? Could you stand it? Would you make it work, cheerfully de-cluttering and doing what you can to make your house a HOME? Or would you lose precious time thinking of how grand life would be if you only lived elsewhere?

Would you proudly have friends over, not apologizing for the worn couch in the living room or the outdated bathroom fixtures? Would the warmth that comes from your heart outshine any chipped walls or cramped spaces?

And how do you judge others' homes? I remember a fellow Christian asking my sister, when she was visiting us with her son, where in the world they slept, disdain dripping from her tongue. Yes, that hurt.

The truth is that a new home with bigger rooms and fancier fixtures won't cultivate thankful hearts. We take the same hearts with us from place to place, which is why Paul reminds us that true contentment is steadfast, in plenty or in little, in affliction or in joy, in all circumstances.

In her book on housekeeping, Ella May Miller challenges the discontented housewife to stop hating her small, inefficient kitchen (and you can fill in any spot in your home), and instead, "think about the good you're doing there."

Imagine replacing those thoughts of envy or frustration with thoughts of the good you're doing in your home. The precious bodies you feed every day, spiritually, physically, and mentally. The atmosphere of love and joy you create. The care that's in the details of brightly lit candles, freshly washed towels, and story time in small spaces.

When we've learned that kind of contentment, our homes become the loveliest places to be, to us and maybe even others. And even Home and Garden magazines and television can't convince us otherwise.

With love,
Trisha

When Younger Moms are the New Titus 2 Women

***Please note that I listed my reasons in no particular order. Also, please don't gloss over this part of the post: This isn't an older mom vs. younger mom post. This isn't a post advising you to disregard the wisdom of the younger mom. It is a reminder to remember the wisdom of the older women in your lives.

                                                                  ******
Many of the moms offering parenting instruction, both in print or in the blogosphere, are younger moms. They haven't been mothers for more than a few years, many not having one child who is even 10, but they dispense, to a very attentive audience, advice about motherhood in the trenches and "grace-filled" mothering. It's an interesting dynamic, especially in light of the scriptural exhortation for the older women to instruct the younger women in being keepers at home and loving their husbands and children.

So where are the older moms, and why have the younger ones often displaced them as voices of authority? Here are a few possibilities:

1) Older moms aren't able to communicate to younger ones what they themselves have abandoned. Perhaps they don't know what to tell the mom who has a misbehaving 2 year old or wants to leave her husband because they themselves delegated childrearing to someone else and decided marriage just wasn't for them. They can't really remember what they did as mothers and keepers at home because they never behaved as mothers or keepers at home.

They might even despise the role of a Titus 2 woman by embracing a "Now it's my turn to do what I want to do since I've done my duty," mentality, wanting to live like a care-free 20 year old instead of a wise, mentoring Titus 2 woman.

2) Older moms are often ignored. When I read some of the parenting advice from the younger mothers, much of it is what the older mothers are saying or have said, but the packaging isn't as eye or ear-catching. They don't have a large church promoting them or a fancy website. Maybe they penned their books years ago, and as with many things, that advice gets dusty on the shelves while we search for the newest offerings. We want to hear from the most hotly-promoted young mommy instead of the Titus 2 woman who sits right next to us in church. The old paths are right before us, but there's part of us that believes the newer paths might offer something a bit better.

3) Younger moms want to hear from someone who potty-trained their toddler yesterday, not 15 years ago. We're an independent-minded, anti-authority generation who has abandoned what those before us believe about church and faith, so it naturally follows we question if older moms really know what it's like to parent today. There's an underlying arrogance and belief that older mothers just won't and can't understand.

4) We eat up almost any advice that has "grace" attached to it. We're a generation that is grace-infatuated instead of grace-transformed. Grace has sometimes become a marketing ploy for today's parenting books, instead of the comforting truth it should be. Just because Elisabeth Elliot's parenting wisdom isn't smothered in "grace-ese" doesn't mean it isn't timeless and applicable to mothers today. It's easier to speak of grace as a young mom who's asking a three-year old to forgive her for her impatience than it is as an older mom who's feeling a bit lost as she navigates the teen years and wonders where she went wrong. There's a depth of grace that can be plumbed only as we've mothered for many years. 

5) Older moms are often silent because they don't have perfect families,  believing this disqualifies them from sharing their wisdom. Because I have older teenagers and toddlers, I've been given the opportunity of seeing my mistakes and praying I won't repeat them. Yet, many mothers of one or two children don't have that privilege. Truly, it's a humbling thing to say, "I would have done this differently,"  or even, "I focused completely on the wrong things," and yet, we can all learn from each other's mistakes and the hindsight that is 20/20. 

6) Older moms know better the value of time: They can easily tell you what they wasted time on in the early years of their parenting, and they're preciously guarding what little time they have left with children at home. They've learned the investment in the lives of others means focusing on the younger women immediately in their lives instead of those in the blogosphere or other social networking sites.

7) Older moms are sandwiched between generations. They might still be caring for a 6 year old while taking care of an elderly parent. They're simply exhausted from meeting the various demands and can't imagine writing a book to share how they've done it all. Maybe all they can muster is to tell the new Mom at church what a blessed gift it is from the LORD to give up your life for another.

8) Younger moms crave the new and earth-shattering and "gettin' real."

They're weary of hearing "Enjoy these years. They'll pass by soon," or "Rely on God's grace, remembering to give Him the glory for every good thing." They want to hear startling confessions of mothers who don't enjoy mothering, mothers who are breaking free of the bonds and expectations of being a keeper at home. There's a rebel in all of us, and young mothers are especially vulnerable to wanting to simply be "understood" instead of instructed.

9) Older moms know there's a price to pay, and you truly can't do it all. 

Younger moms are often too short-sighted to see that that their commitment to disciple other mothers while they still have Littles under foot might come at a price.   When you write a book or give much attention to a blog that gets lots of traffic and exposure, there are costs. Something else won't get done. Sadly, many, though not all, younger mothers who are busy dispensing parenting wisdom should be busier being the godly moms they're called to be. 

None of us can peek into a mother's home and really know how she's balancing it all, but it should make us pause when we consider how we tell moms they can't work outside the home AND really be there for their children, but we don't think twice about the young mother author or blogger who invests many hours writing and promoting herself and her parenting wisdom. 

10) Older moms are often second-guessing themselves. Instead of considering the things they did right, they often dismiss everything they did. I've talked to older moms like this, and it's very discouraging. Their mothering history is just a string of regrets, though you're seeing something different as you're looking at their imperfect but God-fearing children. What young mother wants to hear this? "Ok, so no matter what I do, I'll wish I had done something else."

11) We've put off our child-bearing until the last minute possible. A family member recently expressed her disgust with friends who were getting married and having babies. "They're only 24!" Having babies, she declared, was for when you were in your thirties. It's not uncommon for many women to have their first child in their late thirties or early forties. I recently rejoiced over hearing the news that a sister in Christ, just married at 18, is already pregnant with her first child. When she is 38, she'll obviously be able to counsel another mother her own age who is just now starting a family. 

Am I saying that young mothers shouldn't be dispensing parenting advice? No! Are there exceptions to all of these reasons I've listed. Of course! Moms, young and old, have much to learn from each other, and God certainly has gifted some younger moms with the wisdom of those who have been mothering for 40 years. This isn't an older mom vs. younger mom post. This isn't a post advising you to disregard the wisdom of the younger mom. It is a reminder to remember the wisdom of the older women in your lives.

There is a reason Scripture exhorts the older women to teach the younger and we need to pay attention to it. We need to guard against promoting younger moms and marketing them as the Titus 2 women they truly aren't, yet. We need to guard against tempting them to take away, especially in the name of  "grace-filled-who-you-are-in-Christ" parenting, from the little hearts that need them so much.

As a younger mom, be teachable. Look for those older moms who have gone before you, whether you're reading their books or listening to them share with you at church. Learn from them, both their successes and their mistakes. 

As an older mom, share what you know, including your mistakes,  and be encouragers of the younger. Don't trade the precious opportunity to mentor younger moms for empty pursuits. Don't discount Scripture's instruction to teach the younger moms. What a privilege!

In another post, I'll share the names of some of my favorite Titus 2 women.

With love,

Trisha

She Gave Up Some of the Best Years of Her Life

A homeschool Mom, having been abandoned by her husband, shared how her oldest daughter came to the rescue in the painful aftermath of going through a divorce. This older daughter helped school the younger ones while the Mom looked for a way to support the family. She made dinners and washed clothes and met whatever needs were waiting to be met.

Flash forward a few years later and the Mom shares how she feels she "owes" the daughter so much. The Mom felt sorry for the daughter, having to stay home at night and read stories to little ones while her friends were out having fun. After all, "she gave up some of the best years of her life" to pitch in and help her family.

And that phrase struck me. How often do we hear others, mostly women, describing how they themselves gave "the best years of their lives" to someone or some life circumstance? My question is, can we, believing in God's sovereign care over us and the wisdom of His providence, ever truly say this, when the "giving up" refers to loving others not just in word but in deed? And what are we teaching our daughters about serving and dying to self when we, even subconsciously, encourage this point of view?

There used to be an honor about helping one's family, whether taking care of a sick parent or working an extra job to help pay the bills. But, we've transitioned so far from that point of view, instead encouraging our children to ignore family circumstances and follow their dreams, dreams which are often simply our own  presenting themselves again to a younger version of us some years later. We didn't follow those dreams the first time, and we sure aren't going to have our children miss out.

We speak from both sides of our mouths, extolling the virtues of staying home and caring for our husbands and children and bearing one another's burdens, yet, secretly wanting something "more" for our daughters. We say "Amen" to the truth that we make our plans but God directs our steps, while we bulldoze ahead with blinders on lest anything or any need distract us from our agenda.

Picture two girls. Both have family situations that require their help, be it an aging relative or a financial crisis or anything else in between. The one goes off to college, earns her degree, and begins working. Her family has to hire outside care or simply do without or rely on other friends to assist them.

The second postpones her plans (or might find that she gives them up completely) and instead spends her days fixing meals and driving to doctor's appointments or earning extra income. She builds muscles by lifting the weaker up or changing sheets for the 5th time that day or teaching Littles their catechism or reading them stories.

Would any of us dare ask this of our daughters? Do we not view the latter girl as wasting her days? Do we not feel sorry for her, pondering that she has so much "potential" and should be hanging out at the coffee shops with girlfriends and listening to lectures on a college campus?

How do we give up the best years of our lives if we're meeting the needs God has set before us, whether we're young ladies or older women? How can dying to self and laying down our lives for others ever be a waste of time or giftings or potential? Why do we assume God doesn't have something else waiting for us if we've had to surrender our plans in order to love one another as He's called us to?

While the Mom I mentioned earlier surely needed to express gratitude to her daughter and praise her for honoring God in those difficult days, she didn't need to feel guilty or think she had robbed her daughter of "the best days." God doesn't design our life circumstances so we can fulfill our dreams and live for ourselves. Instead, He fashions our days to make us more like Christ, and what did Christ tell us but that He came not to be served, but to serve, and give His life for us. He calls us to do the same, and for some of us, the burden may be a bit heavier and more costly, but it will never be a waste of time or our lives.

With love,
Trisha

Mama, Have You Forgotten What Season It Is?

I often think of myself as a Mommy-in-the-Middle. Yes, I'm in the middle of lots of stuff, like laughter and chaos, but I'm also the mother of children ranging in ages from 17-2, with a baby on the way. I'm a mother in the middle of several different parenting stages.

I can relate to the Mom who's navigating those unpredictable waters of adolescence, holding on tight during the turbulent days of puberty, watching with wonder the little ones' discoveries, battling self-control during toddler temper tantrums, or smiling as she hears her baby master an endless number of new words a day.

I know, simultaneously, what it is to wrestle with anxiety about your oldest ones' futures, wondering if you honored the LORD with the time you had, while fighting to be steady in training the younger ones to form good habits and obey consistently. I listen to Mumford and Sons and movie soundtracks while hearing Judy Rogers' songs and Patch the Pirate lyrics in my head.

I walk alongside the Mama who's watching her almost-grown children frame their own lives, as well as the Mama who's joyfully buying onesies for her new baby. I weep with the Mama who looks back on years of parenting and sees the grace God poured out on all of her days, while I share the secret worries of the newer Mama who wonders if there's enough grace for this day.

Sometimes the crossing over of these many phases of childhood stretches me thin, but most days its my own unrealistic expectations that weaken me.

While searching Pinterest I came across some wonderful activities for the Littles. I remembered how creative I used to be with the older ones and how detailed their early homeschooling lessons were. But that many years ago, I was the mother of two, not eight. I had less laundry, fewer dishes, less planning, fewer interruptions. It was a different stage of God's plan for my mothering. Yet, Guilt and Discontent started knocking and asking questions, and I found it hard to ignore them.

"Look what a better job you did with your older children. Why aren't you doing those same things now? Your younger ones are being deprived. Your older ones are being deprived. Maybe you've gotten lazy? What you're doing is not enough."

Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, but I often forget such wisdom includes what I do as a mother. There is a season, for all mothers, when the most reading you'll do will be from books by Mother Goose or Beatrix Potter. There is a season when you'll not tackle new projects but simply maintain order of what you have. There is a season when you'll splurge on a family vacation and a season when you'll squeak by just paying the bills. There's a season when you'll spend most of your time in correction and discipline, and a season in which you delight in the fruit of the Spirit manifested in your children.

And for some of us Mamas, our seasons overlap, and yet, they're still a season in itself.  No matter how much I long to be the same mother for my younger ones that my older ones had, I can't make that happen. It's impossible to create the same childhood for every child. I can't mother like my friends who only have little ones and spend hours on creative learning and crafts, and I can't mother like my friends who only have older children and read books at lightning speed or have more time for hobbies or volunteer work. I can only mother like a mother who has eight children of varying ages with the circumstances and resources God has set before me. Do I believe His provision is enough?

This is the kind of mothering all mothers should be doing, mothering that's mindful of the season God has gifted us. The temptation is to confuse the seasons. When our children are little, we're pursuing things that are best done when they're older. When they're older, we're holding on to what we didn't do when they were little. (Those of us who have younger and older have to fight even harder to balance it all well and make sure we're not neglecting what is needful for the older ones AND the little ones.)

We exhaust ourselves with expectations that were meant for a season we're no longer in or for a season that hasn't yet arrived. We lose sight of God's providence because we're scrambling to duplicate, as a large family, what a small family has, or as a small family, what a large family does. We sacrifice eternal bounty for keeping up with Mama Jones, whether the keeping up is the number of books we daily read aloud or the material goods or educational opportunities we provide.

And yes, it comes down to contentment. Contentment grows as we embrace the God-ordained boundaries that are fixed to the seasons of our mothering. Contentment flourishes when we focus on His purposes for our days instead of trying to combine a life's worth of seasons into right here right now. Contentment keeps our eyes set on His faithfulness instead of our accomplishments.

Learn from other mothers in different seasons. Make notes of what you want to do when those seasons come. But rest firmly in the truth that God does give us seasons as mothers, and when we walk contentedly in His design for our days, we honor Him well in our mothering, leaving Guilt and Discontent with nothing to say.

With love,
Trisha

Justin Bieber and The Gag Reflex

Justin Bieber card: $4.99

Having to buy the card in public: Great embarrassment and efforts to restrain from vomiting

Jake's face when he opened the card and heard Bieber singing: PRICELESS

Truly, this was a gag gift in every sense of the word.

***This was part of Jake's 15th birthday Scavenger Hunt. Rest of the adventure to follow later.

Bite, Chew, Sputter, Sputter

Ahem, sorry, wait just a moment while a bite off a bit of the crow I'm having to eat.

{chomp, chomp}

{sputter, sputter}

Ok, it was hard going down, so I'm hoping this experience will be over soon. This is Facebook Crow, by the way.

Remember the day I said I told my children to promise me they'd never be on Facebook until I was 10 feet under? Well, I'm not 10 feet under (somebody pinch me, please), but I now have a child on Facebook. Yes, he's a man, but he's still my child.

The Ink Slinger can now be found writing on walls, though we've never ever approved of graffiti. And I guess he can be found reading what others are writing on walls, too.

Now, friends are coming out of the woodwork. Who knew that every person we know has a Facebook account?

Of course, the burning question is, If Ink is on Facebook, will Mama soon follow?

Before I answer, let me suspend my crow-eating. It really is hard to keep myself from choking AND write at the same time.

There were several considerations that went into this decision, and to be honest, my first words after Ink set up his account were, "I hope this isn't the beginning of something bad."

I know. You're flashing to the joker's question in The Dark Knight, "Why so serious?" (You just look a lot prettier, as you sit there, chuckling, and saying, "I knew they would give in.") I'll save my "why so serious?" answer for another post.

Without divulging details of private conversations, I will share that Ink made a lot of great connections in Mexico, and Facebook seems like the optimum way to maintain those connections. And I'll tell you that for now, Mama will just be watching the writing on the wall from the sidelines. In fact, you probably don't really want me to join Facebook because if I did, I'd have to eat so much crow, I'd surely choke to death. (And I'd even have a few friends ready to spoon-feed me.)

I know our hearts often revel in hearing someone say, "Never!" and then watching them do an about-face. That's ok. Revel all you want. Send the smirks and smiles my way.

Just go easy on me. Pregnant women tend to cry easily, in case you didn't know.

With love,
Trisha

When You Might Not Pass This Way Again

I'm 29 weeks today. Every day is a milestone for me, actually, but it's hard to believe that over 6 months ago, we found out God had given us another blessing. It's gone by way too fast.

As a first time Mom, I remember wishing the days of pregnancy away, not really appreciating them. And now, as I'm even more aware this could be the last time I know the joy of a baby's kick inside my womb or having to sleep on my side or making sure the medicine cabinet is stocked with Tums, I just want to walk this road ever so slowly.

Many women with great ease make the choice to close their wombs. They know they're done, and they never look back. Then there are Moms who close their wombs and deal with regret for many years after. There are also Moms who have their wombs closed most unexpectedly or reluctantly, because of medical emergency or husbands who don't want more children.

And then there are Moms who know the wait and wonder game. They don't know what to answer when curious minds want to know if they'll have more children, other than, "Only the LORD knows" or, "I'd love to." They don't know if they should ditch the maternity clothes or give away the baby items or if they'll ever again fall to the floor and weep with joy when those two lines appear. They wonder if they'll launder tiny onesies anymore or again wake up several times in the night to nurse a hungry baby. They wonder if they enjoyed all those gifts as much as they should have.

They do know that there will be a grieving process when their womb bears life no more (as there is for most women, except perhaps those who toss away their fertility and never look back). They know they'll beg for contented hearts. They know that most won't understand, because, after all, you have how many children and shouldn't you be grateful, even if it's one?  More importantly, they know that the LORD's timing is best, even if their hearts have to catch up with what He wills.

I was a woman who thought she wanted no children, and I was even brazen enough to say so. How God has humbled me in these past 17 years. God has shown me, through His giving and taking away, what a precious gift it is to bring a new life into the world. He's reminded me of His fatherly care of me and preservation of my life each time I'm wheeled into that operating room and come out again alive, with a precious soul to train for His glory.

He's shown me motherhood is a gift not attached to qualifications, IQ, income, done to-do lists, house size, or fulfilled dreams. It's not something in our control, though He often lets us think it is. It's a blessing to be received with open hearts and ready hands, knowing His grace extends beyond small incomes and small rooms and all the conditions we want to apply to the blessing of children before we'll define them as a blessing.

For my daughters, I hope that pregnancy, this amazing carrying and nurturing of a life, will never be commonplace to them. I pray they'll not complain about the symptoms God gives us, reminders we have life inside of us. I pray they'll not think themselves less of a mother if they have to have a c-section or give birth in a hospital, but they'll be thankful, too, if God blesses them with a natural delivery, maybe even at home. Most of all, I pray they'll joyfully welcome as many children as God gives them, be it one or ten.

Pregnancy has not been easy for me, especially the delivery part, and I thank God for that. It has taught me to deeply appreciate this gift of carrying life. It has also filled me with compassion for other women who walk a difficult road as they carry a precious baby, as well as the desire to encourage them with the truth that every ache and pain pales in comparison to the joys of motherhood. "You can do this, and God is faithful!" is my mantra.

Though I reflect even more now on whether I'll pass this way again, especially because of my age, the truth is that every pregnant woman might not pass the way of giving life again, whether she's in her first or seventh pregnancy, whether she's 23 or 43. And how hard is the truth that many women never pass this way at all. Childbearing is not to be taken for granted, and God keep us from encouraging our daughters to do so. We shouldn't assume there's always "later" or that having a baby will always come easily to us.

What we should do is treasure this gift of motherhood...the pregnancy, the labor, the pain, the tears, the disappointments, the joys, the victories, for what it is...an incredible display of the mercy and grace of God. Oh for grace upon grace to savor every moment.

With love,
Trisha

***I'm not addressing adoption or the grief of a woman who has never known the joy of having a baby. Those are entirely separate topics and ones I know I'm not qualified to speak on.

Three Things I Love About Twitter

I never thought I'd say I love Twitter. After all, I have a bit of an aversion to social networking. Yes, I blog, but with that, I don't always feel the need to engage in a conversation. Most of you know I have an aversion to Facebook, and I've made asked my children to promise they'll not be on it until I die. (And yes, I've had several friends tell me Twitter is no different than Facebook, but I still think it is. Of course, I've been known to eat my words, more than once.)

I ended up on Twitter when I wanted to join Pinterest (which I found to be a bit overwhelming). Then Ink followed, and then my Beloved, and now we're the Three Twitter Musketeers. Like anything, it has the potential to be a time waster. It's much easier to read what others are tweeting than to mop the floor or finish lesson plans or discipline that stubborn child. It requires, at least for me, a constant watching and guarding of my heart.

But, there are three things I love about Twitter so far:

1) A More Personal View: Several of my favorite bloggers are on Twitter, and it's wonderful to read snippets of everyday life. I've been able to pray for them, laugh with them, and just get to know them better. It's also nice to get a few doses of my Pastor's humor throughout the week and share articles of interest with family members. (Although I have been banned from following one family member on Twitter because she didn't like what I had to say...)

2) Private Messaging: Ink is one of the last 17 year olds on earth who doesn't have a phone. We see no need for it, but when he was going to Mexico, we were wondering how he could communicate with us, especially at the airport. With an old version of an iTouch, he's still able to send us private messages on Twitter. And I'm able to leave those notes wishing him a good morning or letting him know I'm praying God will bless him with sweet sleep.

3) Unexpected Blessings: Whether it's in the form of "I'm praying" or an encouraging word or a package sent across the miles, I'm grateful for the ways God has used others on Twitter to bless me. Just the other day I posted a link to a pink bowl that I loved. Alas, it was only available at IKEA, and we don't have one of those nearby. I mentioned that I'd be extremely grateful if anyone who lived near one wanted to pick me up that pink bowl and send it my way, not thinking anyone would really be able to do so. BUT a sweet gal, Tricia, who has never met me, went to IKEA that very weekend and had the bowl in the mail to me on Monday! I was floored at her kindness and in awe again how the body of Christ is drawn together to do even these kinds of things for each other. :) Thank you, Tricia!

Isn't it perty?

Yes, I'm lovin' Twitter so far for these reasons, but I'm very fickle when it comes to this kind of stuff. Tomorrow my account might be deleted and my blog gone, too. I just never know.

(I do know one of you is going to tell me my Twitter-lovin' reasons are why you  you love Facebook, though.) :)

With love,
Trisha