The Rudder of My Days

"The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day."

~Henry Ward Beecher

Rudder~"that which guides or governs the course"

Webster's 1828

What shall be the rudder of this day?

This day You've given me. This day full of new mercies.  This day that sings of Your grace.

This day I will never have again.

How will I spend this first hour? 

Will it be on rabbit trails on the computer or chats on social media?

Will it be spent blogging my own thoughts or being inspired by the thoughts of great men?

Will it be the reading the latest news or witty political commentary or theological debates?

Will it be doing another load of laundry and the many urgent tasks that call my name?

Or will it be Your words that guide and govern me? The Voice of Truth. The Way of Wisdom.

The One Who truly shows me how to love my children better, what to think of the latest news, how to spend my time wisely. The One Who shows me how to have a quiet and gentle spirit in the midst of things undone and many needs to meet. These words of life that transform me and renew my mind, that I may glorify You in all things and walk steadfastly in wisdom's way.

These words that are profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for instruction in righteousness.

Oh, Heavenly Father, let me desire Your guidance and governing above all.  Let Your Words of life be the rudder of my days. Let them be my first desire when I wake and my soul's food all the day long.

With love,

Trisha

Just Enough

Too many times I've forgotten to check the ingredients before preparing a recipe only to discover I had "just enough" of something. What a relief that often is, especially when you're far into the recipe, the items are costly, and guests are on the way.

And "just enough" describes how God often deals with us.

For the Israelites, God provided "just enough" manna for the day. Hoarding reaped gross consequences. They had to trust the Lord would provide.

I know what it is to have just enough gas for the car until payday or just enough money to pay the bills.

I'm thankful when things last just long enough to replace them. The water heater. The car with over 200,000 miles. The years-old dishwasher. The worn clothing.

I'm thankful for just enough strength to not grow weary at the end of a long day, or in the midst of an overwhelming trial.

"Just enough" is a most fertile soil for growing faith and cultivating gratitude. It's a prime spot for worship.

When we have "just enough," our eyes stay fixed on Him. We remember Who provides. We remember how fragile our frames are, and how great our God is. 

In our mixed up world, "just enough" is considered not enough, and it sure isn't how we would describe abundant living. We want to be prepared for years to come, know how things will always turn out, and stuff our pockets full of self-sufficiency.

But God's economy is different, and in giving us "just enough" of what we need each day, He offers us truly rich living. Rich in faith. Rich in thankful hearts. Rich in complete dependence on Him. And His provision always leaves us satisfied.

What encouragement!  No matter what our trial, our heartache, our need, God will provide, and His "just enough" will always be plenty.


With love,
Trisha

5 Stumbling Blocks to Obeying God's Will

Lately I've been pondering life changes and wrestling with difficult circumstances and understanding God's will. And though some things are still unclear, and fear keeps creeping in, I understand a bit better why our decision making  gets so tangled.

1) God's will doesn't always feel good. We're in deep with the world and its belief that we should only do what feels good. But, as Christians, we're still at war with our flesh, which means obedience brings resistance. It feels good to obey God when His plans line up with ours, but what about when His will means the surrendering of our hopes and dreams?

2) Some of our friends will tempt us to take the road often traveled. This is the friend who cares more about comfort and ease than about sanctification. This is the friend who lives in "deserve" mode. Life is all about deserving a break, not about dying to self. She'll list your many sacrifices, as though sanctification is accomplished in 10 Easy Lessons instead of a lifetime of daily taking up one's cross.

3) We equate obeying God's will with a "good outcome". After Paul is blinded on the road to Damascus, and Ananias is told to minister to him, God declares that He is going to share with Paul the things he will suffer in Christ's name. The things he will suffer. He didn't say, "Paul has obeyed, and there will now be no hard days or challenges or pain." Obeying God does bring blessing, but it's not always the blessings we think of. Obedience doesn't always bring reconciliation or peace or more money or a bigger house or less difficult people in our lives. Sometimes the blessing is the gift of resting in the joy that you are honoring God and being made more like Christ even when everything around you is unpleasant or downright hard.

4) Our hearts are deceitful. I've sometimes clearly known God's will about something, not because I had a vision in the night, but because I read His Word and cried out to Him in prayer, and yet, I still resist doing it. My heart whispers that I must be the exception and the surely God wouldn't want me to have to work so hard. My heart lists all the reasons I can't obey, when the truth is that I don't want to obey. Perhaps our struggle with knowing is more of a struggle with obeying.

5) We leave no room for faith and trust.  My life is one big Ebenezer of God's providing in the most unexpected ways. And yet, I'm still tempted to listen to the naysayers who plan everything out and have no time for faith and trust. They think they're simply being prudent, yet all of their plan-making is often a cover for not believing God will wisely direct their paths. How does our faith and trust increase if we never take that step into the unknown? Why do we cry out for daily bread, but put our confidence in the world's wisdom or our preparations or our bank account?

The good news is that God is faithful to give us wisdom when we cry out for it. We have His word right before us, and we have His ear. And though obedience might not bring joy and peace right away, the surrender eventually becomes sweet, and we're able to praise Him for keeping us from leaning on our own understanding.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

With love,
Trisha

So Much Home-Work

Spiritual pride is very apt to suspect others; whereas a humble saint is most jealous of himself; he is so suspicious of nothing in the world as he is of his own heart. The spiritually proud person is apt to find fault with other saints, that they are low in grace, and to be much in observing how cold and dead they be, and crying out of them for it; and to be quick to discern and to take notice of their deficiencies: but the eminently humble Christian has so much to do at home, and sees so much evil in his own heart, and is so concerned about it, that he is not apt to be very busy with others' hearts; he complains most of himself, and cries out of his own coldness and lowness in grace, and is apt to esteem others better than himself.
~Jonathan Edwards

Either a Mercy or a Wonder

To be thankful doesn't mean we're denying hard providences or pretending our lives are problem-free. But it does mean we're obeying, and we're trusting that God is keeping His promise to use all things for our good. 

I'm thankful for God's current means of sanctification in our lives:

Mountain Man's prolonged recovery from dental work--infection, dry socket, continued pain.

The painful work that must often be invested in our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ --to be at unity with one another isn't optional, but it is God's will, even though it often doesn't feel good and requires more effort than I want to give.

That daily battle with the flesh and the reluctance to put off the old 

and put on the new.

And I'm thankful for those daily wonders that refresh us:

The oldest and youngest taking a walk

Finally! Ink's graduation feast

Happy faces

One BIG strawberry shortcake

Guys in bowties

An amazing shot of the moon captured by Luke

The Littles breaking in our new couch with some book-time

Hashed Potato Pie

A single serving of deep dish chocolate chip cookie ready in five minutes in a microwave oven 

"Yeah, I'm cute" expressions

Brother helping brother

And the unseen gifts of forgiveness and repentance and daily provision of all we need to glorify the Lord and grow in grace

There is never a providence of God, but has either a mercy or a wonder in it.

~Thomas Watson, All Things for Good

With love,

Trisha

No, Look This Way, Brother

Celebrate the Small Things

We often take for granted the warm body sleeping beside us, 

the quiet, uneventful evening, or the too quickly passed cacophonous ones

 if we're in the season of life known as the child rearing years. 

Take time to celebrate the small things that make us fall in love, 

and stay in love, and weave us strongly together.

~Dr. George Grant

Always Second Guessing

"Strong passions without a settled judgment, commonly produce weak resolutions."

~Matthew Henry

"Thoughts ripened into resolves by serious consideration are likely to be 
kept always in the imagination of the heart, whereas what is soon ripe is soon rotten."
~Matthew Henry

*****

You've been having family worship for a long time now. It's crazy sometimes, but in a world that encourages family members to live independently of one another and to forget the One who gives them every good thing, this concentrated family time of singing and prayer and Bible reading ties heartstrings and keeps you focused on eternity.

Then you read THE article. The one telling you that there's nothing in the Bible that commands us to have family worship. It's enough to talk with your children about the Christian life throughout the day.

You've finally settled into daily times of Bible reading and prayer. You're amazed at how much you hunger for the Word now, and even on those mornings when your start is slow, you're thankful for the habit you've made to hear His words first.

Then you read THE article. How silly for Christians to put themselves in such bondage to a completely unscriptural principle as the "quiet time." Free yourself!

You love to care for your home. You delight in the smell of homemade bread and watching little people rush to devour the work of your hands. You linger over a freshly cleaned kitchen, and you're amazed at your daughter's skill with a sewing machine.

Then you read THE article. The one that mocks mothers in their aprons making homemade bread, accusing them of forgetting grace and looking to the domestic arts for their salvation. Don't you know salvation is by grace, not by a Kitchen-Aid mixer?

Though many of these articles focus on a legalistic attachment to some of the things we do, all too often, we interpret them as a solid case AGAINST a practice or perspective. We worry that we've been wrong to have family worship all of this time (and actually teach our children that they should do this with their families), or train our children in the habit of independent time in the Word each day, or bake our own bread while wearing an apron. 

This is why it's essential to know why we do what we do and to teach the WHY to our children. When our practices are not thought out, but are rather the product of what's trending on the internet or in books or magazines, we're building our lives on a shaky foundation that crumbles in the presence of any opposing views. We find ourselves habitually changing course and chronically second-guessing everything we do. What kind of legacy is that to pass on to our children? 

Second-guessing is an inherent complication of information overload. It's the result of having too many opinions in our faces, and our relying too much on others to think for us.

It's not so much a reflection of a teachable spirit, but instead the consequence of lazy reasoning. Because we haven't thought our practices through, we're easily swayed by the next eloquent writer who comes along, being tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine or some woman's declaration of "freedom" from ____________ (fill in the blank).

Instead of spending more time second-guessing everything we're doing, from family worship to quiet times to modest dress and more, let's spend time making sure we know WHY we do what we do. Let's dig deep in the Word and think through our principles and convictions and preferences. And then confidently, without apology, teach them to our children.


With love,
Trisha

It Doesn't Come Naturally~9 Ways to Teach Our Children Contentment

Shakespeare said, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!" It's true. If there's one sin in my own children's lives that tempts me to sin, it is ingratitude. "Look at all that God has done for you!" "How can you be so ungrateful, murmuring about what you don't have while forgetting the bounty of His goodness?"

And I'd like them to master contentment in five easy lessons. 

But here I am still learning it myself, as evidenced by the ease with which I think hard thoughts of God or forget yesterday's mercies or dismiss today's provision. 

We work hard to teach our children many things, and yet, we forget that contentment must be learned, too. It is a lifelong battle, for surely as the Holy Spirit has sanctified us in one area, and we've made our peace with a trial or an illness or another thorn in our side, He will faithfully show us other ways in which we are thankless children of God. We complain about our children's complaining and then throw those quiet temper tantrums in our hearts because God is not doing what we think is best for us.

"Do not indulge, any of you, the silly notion that you can be contented without learning, or learn without discipline; it is not a power that may be exercised naturally, but a science to be acquired gradually!"

~C. H. Spurgeon

So, how do we teach our children contentment, remembering it's just the beginning of a lifetime of learning?

Pray for them. Pray for wisdom and blessing on our efforts. Pray for patience and mercy and lovingkindness to clothe our correction.

Consistently discipline their murmurings and disputings, being mindful not to reward their discontentment.

Teach them to treasure our correction of them and the Lord's chastisement.

Guard against all kinds of complaining, including complaints about the weather and the traffic and the spilled milk and those many "little" things we think excuse our murmurings. Confess our own struggles with discontentment and repent to them when necessary.

Instruct them in the Word and in prayer.What does God say about murmuring? What happened to those who indulged in this sin? Have them hide Scriptures in their hearts that will help them fight the temptation to complain. Teach them to battle this sin on their knees.

Teach them about God's sovereignty, and the truth that He is always doing us good. Teach them with words, but mostly with how we submit to His will for our own lives.

Refrain from manipulating circumstances so that our children are never unhappy or without.

Teach them the discipline of habits and mastering Self and cheerfully choosing to do those things they don't want to do, including chores and math lessons.

Model gratitude by counting God's mercies together. Write them down. Read over them again and again. Celebrate them.

With love,
Trisha

Big and Little

Can you guess the unexpected bonus in this picture?

C'mon. Look carefully.

The socks! The socks!

Sarge has matching socks!

The Cutting Fields

I'm not sure how much of my nose I'll have left when I'm 60. I'd prefer to keep all of it, but skin cancer seems to have a claim, and it's an opponent I have yet to conquer.

When I was a child, I was sometimes told I had a "pug" nose, so I added it to my list of "Those Things I Wish God Had Done Differently." But my thoughts changed when the doctor started cutting bits of it away. Suddenly my nose was most beautiful, and I desperately wanted to keep it. 

Even now, there's a cancer growing there. I've known about it for several months, buy I'm too chickenhearted to go under the knife again. My fear and vanity run deeper than this cancer. Those bright lights, the scalpel, the anesthesia wearing off before the cutting is done, the infection they tell you rarely happens (but it happened to you), the disfigurement, the tears, the sometimes months of healing--you don't forget them too soon, and the second time is only worse because now you know what to expect. 

And no doubt the fact that my last biopsy went a bit wrong has something to do with my denial and delay. It's not cool when the doctor misses a spot and cuts healthy tissue. But it happens.

Doctors misdiagnose. They prescribe the wrong medicine and misjudge the dosing. They cut more than is necessary just to be safe. They often guess at what's wrong with you. 

But how much good they do, too! I'm thankful for the skilled surgeon who has delivered my babies. I'm thankful for the skilled surgeon who put a bar in Ink's chest and then removed it years later. I'm thankful for the skilled surgeon who preserved Luke's eyesight. Yes. For all the mistakes, doctors do good, and we put ourselves under their care, knowing they're fallible.

In the flesh, my body is a cutting field. My back, my arm, my forehead, my nose--they've all seen the knife and there are scars to show it.

And my soul is one, too. 

God is that Master-Pruner. Everyday He's cutting away at those things that don't honor Him. It's painful, and He doesn't give me treatment options.

He doesn't need to. His cuts are perfect. The right spot. The right amount. The right timing. No guessing. No overdosing. No "oops, I'm so sorry. I needed to cut away at your unteachable spirit, but instead I hacked away at _______."

Perfect pruning.

And just like those surgeons who get the cutting right, God is doing me good. But the difference is that He is doing good all of the time.

Still, I fight it. I forget it. I resist His methods and His means--the difficult people, the interruptions in my day, the disappointments, the losses, the unkind words, disobedient children, rude drivers, broken appliances, the struggle to keep walking in His ways. And, I often tell Him with my murmuring and unsubmissive spirit what I'm saying when I refuse to deal with this cancer on my face--I'd rather stay this way. I'd rather have this cancer grow and require more cutting, and, "By the way, dear God, I'd rather you not make me more like Jesus."

Yep. I have trust issues. And pride issues.

But He'll also cut away at those, whether I want Him to or not. 

And He'll do it perfectly.

Thanks be to God.

With love,

Trisha

Christless Leisure

A Month of Thanksgiving~He Still Thinks I'm Beautiful

When my Mountain Man and I were dating (yeah, we did that), I remember sitting in the car with him and realizing that he was just staring at me. I would shift a bit, blush, and then ask him what he was doing. And he would state the obvious with a few more words, which I won't share here because it would only make me blush again (and I know you can see that, right?), and it's a bit embarrassing, because I still look in the mirror and wonder what he's seeing.

But, he thought I was beautiful, and he told me so.

27 years and lots of gravitational-pull later, he still thinks I'm beautiful.

27 years.
13 pregnancies.
9 babies.
8 c-sections.
Skin cancer.

And he still thinks I'm beautiful.

In a world where 50 year old women often look like they're 30, where their bodies have been carefully preserved like fine pieces of china, and their souls have been neglected--no evidence of giving life or laughing much or eating one too many scones, no evidence of living a bit or living a lot--it's hard for women to see what their husbands see.

But, I'm convinced that one thing that makes us most beautiful to our husbands is simply believing that they really do find us beautiful, and then loving and responding to them with that belief.

The beautiful woman doesn't pull away when her husband embraces her or hide from him or make an inventory of her physical flaws when he compliments her. She rests in the grace that God has poured out on her marriage. She gratefully welcomes God's gift of a faithful husband who delights in her, even now.

The beautiful woman remembers that God has done a work on her soul and that work is beautiful. The beautiful woman remembers that the trials and hardships of marriage have reaped a deep and faithful connection with her Beloved that Botox or face peels or tummy tucks could never buy. The beautiful woman remembers that the wrinkles on her face and the wear on her body are the fruit of a live lived with the One with whom God has made her one.

Yes. Every day it's a wonder to me, and I question where my Mountain Man got those rose-colored glasses. I'm tempted to long for someone else's hair or skin or figure or peaceable spirit or quiet and gracious way--but the beauty our husbands see is what God has fashioned, it is a grace He has poured out, and the best response is to believe and say thank you.

With love,
Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~Let's Storm This Place

Anyone who regularly reads this blog--or even semi-regularly--knows that I think our lives should be trumpets of praise. There is so much to thank God for that is should be our business, our joy, to do so every day. By His grace, I have a heart for remembering His mercies, though I fail so often at it. I am too easily discontented.

But here it is the month of November, a perfect time to do this:

"Let's storm this place with images of all the mercies we receive from His hand."
~Becky Pliego

Isn't that an awesome way to say it? My precious friend was referring to Instagram, but I know she'd agree that this is one of the best uses of any kind of social media.

And it's time for me to spend a month in sharp-focused thanks-giving. I have been sick for almost 5 weeks now. I'm finally seeing the end of my antibiotics, and I'm encouraged that maybe I'll be feeling completely normal soon. Maybe. In case you're trying to imagine just how sick I've been, here's a picture to sum it up.

Five bars of Chocolove goodness? What does that have to do with anything? Well, a dear friend sent me SIX of these goodies right around the time I started to get sick, and there are still FIVE of them left. That tells you something. Because anytime Chocolove bars last this long in my house, there is something seriously wrong. To not have an appetite for chocolate is to be seriously ill. :)

And these past several months have been a spiritually dark time for me, as I have felt like Christ has "left the room." To have Him withdraw His presence is a deep grief, but it's one that is hard to understand unless you've been through it. I had always read about it, but now I have tasted it, and that whole trial has made me so grateful for the difference that His presence makes in each moment of our days. It's a difference we easily take for granted.

Praise God for the privilege of sharing His goodness, of "storming this place" with words and images that speak of His many mercies. Every one of us can do this, and every one of us will always have something to say.

"And every time we speak and live out our thankfulness here on this very temporary base of operations, we join our voices with the grand chrous of gratitude that wells up before the throne of God, and we prepare ourselves for what we'll be doing throughout all eternity, glorifying and thanking Him for all He is and all He has done."
~Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Choosing Gratitude

With love,
Trisha

Thankful Thursday~Even Piglet Noticed

Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, 

it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.

~A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

 

I'm thankful for moments like this when our children are helping one another. I'm grateful for the mothering instinct that God gives little girls.

 I'm thankful for children who enjoy food.

 I'm thankful to be part of a family of book lovers--right down to the littlest guy.

I'm thankful for children who love the outdoors and who always find amazing things to do with the resources He has provided.

 This is one of the most beautiful flower bouquets I've ever received. Why? Because they are from my sister, Catherine, whose husband recently died of cancer. But, it gets even better. I sent her this exact flower arrangement in remembrance of her wedding anniversary. She loved them so much and wanted me to be able to enjoy the same beauty, so she sent some to me. To know that we're both looking at the same flowers is a precious gift, a tying of the heartstrings across these many miles.

 And what better thing is there to do when on Daddy's lap than to look at a book?

Last, but not least, Grandma has arrived. :)

With love,
Trisha

Decisions, Decisions~A Pictorial

***No children or books or chocolate were hurt during the 45 seconds that this event took place. No staging or coaxing were required, as this is the natural behavior of babies from chocolate-hoarding-book-loving families.