What My Mama Wants for Christmas

***A bubble-wrapped Elijah, courtesy of the goofy Littles

An Open Letter to My MeMaw Re: That Big, Big Lollipop

Dear MeMaw,

Mama finally got brave enough to open that big lollipop you sent me. She never did say WHEN you mailed it to me, but I have a feeling it might have been a while ago.

I knew something was up when they put me in a high chair, made me wear one of those ghastly bibs, and handed me this massive and colorful round thing. I was hooked after one lick.

Thank you!

In your lovely card, you mentioned sharing this wonder of sweetness with my siblings. This was very, very hard for me to do. Consider exhibit A...a testimony of how desperate we will act when such a lollipop is on the line. I tried to keep it high in the air, but a few of my siblings are taller than I am.

Everyone wanted a lick of this delectable treasure. And then everyone wanted to know WHERE you found such a specialty. I can't say I was able to lick my lollipop in peace, as I think every child should be able to do.

Thankfully, I'm not being reared as a socialist. Otherwise, Mama would have made me cut the lollipop into equal shares and what was mine would have been theirs, too. I'm all for sharing, but I think equal shares applies much better to creamed spinach than tasty lollipops. (And for the record, I did share after some coaxing from Emma, but how true it is, the more you give, the more they want!)

If you thought I had everyone's attention when I was licking the lollipop, you should have seen what happened when I started biting. Suddenly, voices got louder...something about baby teeth and that I'd probably find them useful until my big teeth came in. I'm not quite sure what all the fuss was about. I just kept biting and ignoring the raised voices and what sounded like warnings of some kind. Next thing I know, my lollipop is taken away and slapped between two pieces of wax paper. (Ok, it was gently wrapped, but since I was a bit upset, I imagined a bit more of a dramatic end to my lollipop-licking adventure.)

Then, I was whisked away to the bath. My hands and hair were a bit sticky. After all, isn't eating a lollipop an almost whole-body experience? The bath was nice, but not as nice as that lollipop. My one hope is that it's hidden away between wax paper, and I'll see it another day when Mama is feeling carefree and generous.

(my attempt to smile while hands-free and mouth-full)

I say that, even though big lollipops can cause a bit of sibling conflict, and I have to fight off the meaner sides of my otherwise gentler sisters, and I have to hear lectures about dental care, you should keep those lollipops coming. If I remember correctly, someone very wise once said, "That's what Grandmas are for." I love you.

Your ever-grateful grandson,
Cap'n