Thankful Thursday~Daily Bread

"God's bread is always in our mouths, 

so should our praise be. 

He fills us with good; let us also 

be filled with gratitude."

~C.H. Spurgeon

~a quiet new dishwasher, "Is it really on?"

~a brand new stove that leaves our children in wonder,"Look! We don't have to light the burners!" "Wow. Look how clean it is inside." "Are you loving cooking with your new oven, Mommy?" :)

~a phone call from a long, lost friend whose words always bring my heart joy. Truly, the joy of the LORD is her strength.

~finding the right part at the store so my Beloved could finish installing the dishwasher late at night

~brothers

~Our Pastor's reminder that our children are the sharp edges on Christ's threshing sledge, something we as parents must remember as we teach them

~Sunday afternoon naps

~My Beloved finding time to read--he's already finished three books this year!

~Older boys who have their fourth big meal late at night

~birthday celebrations with friends, balloons, Buttermilk Pie, Cream Cheese Pound cake, pizza, Sequence, Farkel, 10 children, and lots of laughter

~Irish breakfast tea

~Psalm 139:16 "...and in thy book all my members were written which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

~children who love what I cook for them

~An unexpected snow in the morning

~text messages just to say, "I love you!"

~Connect Four and Jenga

~scones, scones, scones

~God's protection over my Beloved as he drove to work in the snow

~the opportunities a large family provides to learn to die to self

~Boo's love for reading

~the fruit of repentance

~Five Star Burgers

~Jury Duty (Yikes!)

~Clairesy's "Hol me! Hol me!" (Hold me. Hold me.) It's her theme song these days. One day it won't be.

~This visual of the attributes of God

~Josh Garrels' free album download. His music is amazing (and I can even tolerate the one rap song)!

~I am redeemed!

With love,
Trisha

Why You Don't Want to Fall Asleep While Eating Dinner with Us

Ok. At least if you're young enough to still need a high chair.

And I'm not even posting the cucumber picture. Truly, this is the dangerous life of a toddler when he has older brothers. Ahem.

God's wiring of babies and His gifting to them of super powers, like falling asleep at a dinner table where the conversation is as loud as ours, never ceases to amaze me.

Don't worry. If you join us for dinner, take a nap before you come, stay away from the high chair, and I'll do my best to keep the "big brothers" away from you. :)

Slow Cooker Sticky Chicken

The foil keeps the drippings away from the chicken, and the meat falls from the bones with this one. Yum. Yum.

Slow Cooker Sticky Chicken

2 t. salt

1 T. paprika

2 t. chili powder

1 t. onion powder

1 t. thyme leaves

1/2 t. garlic powder

1/2 t. black pepper

4 lbs. chicken drumsticks, skinned if desired

foil for bottom of crockpot

~recipe from creativelydomestic.com

Mix spices in bowl. Rinse drumsticks and thoroughly pat dry with a paper towel. Rub the spice mix onto the chicken. Crumple the foil and put in bottom of 4 qt. crockpot. Top foil with spice-rubbed chicken pieces. Cook on low for 8-12 hours.

For our family, I doubled the spices, lined a 6 qt. crockpot with the crumpled foil, and cooked 13 drumsticks. 

Enjoy!

Love,

Trisha

Blogging Exhibitionists~Part 2

Some sweet blogging friends asked  great questions and expressed concerns in regards to my post about Blogging Exhibitionists. I appreciate their graciousness, and because my reply was so long, I thought I'd post my response here. Perhaps others are asking the same questions. I'm preparing myself for the cyber-tomatoes, and I'm reminded that this is one of the reasons I doubt myself every time I hit "publish." 

I won't be surprised if I mangle this response, too. I pray you read "grace" in my words. I am not a supermom! Somehow, even if we disagree, I think my friends  will still love me with the love of the LORD, since that love is already reflected in their comments.

****

Thank you for your questions and concerns. I did not think it appropriate to link to the blog. May God discipline me if I exaggerated anything or misrepresented her position. In the post, she confesses to not keeping her home and not enjoying the presence of her children.This is not a preference issue. This is a heart issue.

This is one of the things I dislike most about the blogging medium. I'd much rather have tea with both of you and discuss these questions. I'm sure we'd understand each other's hearts much better.


What I didn't say: My post wasn't a commentary on the various exceptions of women being outside the home. My example of sharing our struggles without discernment was the issue. For example, someone posting about their anger against God and saying that's just how she is would be another type of blogging exhibitionist. What is the goal of our confessions? To edify others or to get them to agree with our sin (and yes, I believe it's sin to neglect our priority of keeper at home and put other things first. Keeping our homes includes taking care of our children. Why do we have them only to quickly hand them over to others to have them doing the training for us?).

I will say that I think Christian mothers have lost perspective on what it means to be a keeper at home and that we justify all kinds of departures from that picture, not out of necessity, but because we refuse to die to self.

Consider this picture of bearing our cross and dying to self:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34). This language, too, is shocking. To first century ears, it does not mean we all must learn to put up with a wart or a disappointment or an obstreperous mother-in-law or an impending mathematics exam: 'We all have our crosses to bear!' No, to first century ears this means you must take the cross- member on your beaten shoulders and stagger to the place of crucifixion and there be executed in blistering agony and shame. To take up your cross means you have passed the point of all possible reprieve, all hope that you will once again be able to pursue your own interests; you are on your way to death, a dishonorable death at that. So for Jesus' disciples to take up their cross, even to take up their cross daily (Luke 9:23), is to say, in spectacularly metaphorical terms, that they are to come to the end of themselves--no matter how costly that death--in order to follow Jesus."
~D.A. Carson

Oh, how far short I am of taking up my cross and coming to the end of myself. But, as a Christian woman, I cannot write things that justify my NOT coming to the end of myself in the name of Christian liberty, knowing, too, the influence my words might have on other women.

Maybe having outside help would have been a great option. In no way would I say that is sin. God knows our circumstances, and there are many situations that require extra help. Yes! And these are wonderful opportunities for the body of Christ to show love to one another in meeting those needs.

But, the point of her post was not the acknowledgement that she needed to learn to do those things necessary to be a better keeper at home and honor the Lord and her family or that she needed a bit of outside help. Her post was a confession of not liking being a stay-at-home Mom and the assertion that Scripture does not say that's what she needs to be.


Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:3-5

To say we don't like our responsibilities which means we don't have to do them is to open the door to all kinds of sin.

"I don't like to extend hospitality."
"I don't like to change messy diapers or clean toilets."
"I don't like to love my enemies."

Have we forgotten that if we lack joy in our mothering, if we are disorganized and inefficient and detest making plans and making meals, that God's grace is sufficient for these things, too? But how many of us pray, not for the grace to thrive in our circumstances and in our callings, but to instead be removed from them?

I have eight children. I have Crohn's Disease, which is currently a bit active. I have a herniated disc which gives me trouble at the least expected times. I have a husband who drives 3 hours a day total to and from work, usually not getting home until  7:30 or 8:00 at night. I homeschool our children and manage most all household duties. I am the primary disciplinarian. I understand that motherhood is a challenge, and I was not meaning to dismiss those challenges in any way.

When I got married, I didn't even know how to cook rice or make a pot of coffee. After having a couple of children, I realized I was very disorganized and struggled to keep an orderly and clean home. I had to cut the computer and t.v. time, realize my life was not about ME, and then do what needed to be done to keep my home. And yes, it's all by God's grace! I can honestly say I was one of the most selfish women in the world, and I still battle selfishness every moment of every day.

My sister had to work all of her married life because her husband was not responsible enough to support them. Yes, there are women who HAVE to work, but even in this, we've lost sight of what are needs and what are wants.

As you've pointed out, there are so many exceptions, and of course, we extend grace in those circumstances, but we can't constantly trump the norm with exceptions and then excuse women who are just not wanting to discipline themselves to do what needs to be done. This was the spirit of her post. Truly, a woman shouldn't be blogging or doing a host of other things if she can't take care of her home and her family.

If you've written a great post or produced a beautiful piece of artwork for your business, but your children don't have clean clothes, you don't know what they're doing, you have no meal plans, you can't remember the last time you talked to them about the LORD,  you're ignoring discipline issues, and you don't even want them around you, then your priorities are wrong.

Our primary responsibility as mothers and wives is our home. If we're able to meet those needs and do other things, great. But, if we're giving up those responsibilities because they depress us or because we just don't like the role God has called us to, it is sin.

Oh, how deceitful our hearts are. We often tell ourselves we're the exceptions to God's Word, and the truth is, we can often use prayer as an excuse to do what we want instead of what God's Word says. There are some issues that don't need to be prayed through because Scripture clearly tells us the will of God.  We're to love our enemies. We're to give thanks in all things. We're to extend hospitality to others. And we're to keep our homes. (I had a friend once who told me she just knew God meant for her to have an affair because God brought the man into her life. All she had to do was read the Bible to know she was wrong.)

Instead of accepting "keeper at home" at face value, we want to re-define the obvious.

Elisabeth Elliot makes the point that when we make choices we also accept the limitations of those choices. As women, we often want to do it all. We want to have a husband and a family, work outside the home, have our many hobbies, enjoy a great social life, have "me" time, etc. When God blesses us with a family, taking care of them is our priority. When we said "I do," when we had children, we said "yes" to these things and "no" to others.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with asking for help when we struggle in an area, and it's important to do so. We older mothers should be eager and ready to help the younger ones (though I've often found the younger ones don't want Titus 2 advice), extending grace and practical help and speaking the truth in love.

I hope this has answered your questions and concerns. Thank you for your willingness to express a difference of opinion in a spirit of love.

Much love,
Trisha

Why We Hate the Duggars

The Duggar Family. Also known as "The Dumb Family" and "Those Idiots Who Don't Know When to Stop Having Children." If anyone might be annoyed with them, it would be large families. The Duggars, a family of 21, are often the measuring stick the world uses to relate to families with many children. That's not always a good thing. Sometimes it's offensive.

Like when I'm laying on the table in the hospital, three days after giving birth, getting prepped for a spinal in order to get rid of a spinal headache from having a c-section, and the nurse looks at me, asks how many children I have, and after hearing the answer replies, "What are you trying for? A t.v. show?"

"Yes maam. I've been through more physical pain than you've probably ever known just so I can possibly have a t.v. show in which my whole life is recorded for the God-hating public to see. That's the REAL reason I have so many children. 'Cause I want to be like the Duggars."

Please.

They do and believe crazy things, you know. They say, "God, we'd love to have ALL the children you'll give us." They have their children dress modestly. They don't incur debt. They teach their children at home. They believe they're sinners who need Jesus. They live much of their lives in front of the camera. They give to others.

They recently experienced the pain of a late miscarriage.

And they disgust us.


Don't believe me? Just search the internet, and you'll find bitter, ranting posts against this family, and some of them are written by our own brothers and sisters in Christ.

One Christian blogger lists each of the character traits the Duggars teach their family and then exposes how the Duggars fall short of living up to those traits.  Who of any of us perfectly lives out the truths we believe? We are all being conformed into the image of Christ daily, and I'll be the first to say that if you put my life under a microscope, you would witness failure after failure.

You would also see God's grace and mercy, because anything I actually do get right, is only because of HIM.

Now the Duggars never profess to be perfect. They don't tell you YOU have to wear dresses or have lots of children. They do know what they believe and they know why. And if you spit in their faces, they'd be the first to offer you the coat on their back. They have the loving part of Christianity down much better than many of us.

I disagree with the Duggars on many issues. I think ATI is dangerous business and in many ways theologically, we're worlds apart, but this is a family who is displaying before a lost world the beauty of a large family who loves Jesus. It's no wonder that the world hates them, but Christians, too?

Why do we hate the Duggars?

1) Because as a culture, we, including Christians, really don't like children. They're a bother, an inconvenience. Ever had people stare at you in horror when you're out in public with ALL of your children? Ever had a church tell you you can't worship with your children because they'll be a DISTRACTION to others? Ever have people leave a table at a restaurant because you sat down with your large family?

2) When we watch others live intentionally for the glory of God, even if we disagree with their methods, we're convicted about our own laziness. Laziness in discipling our children, in reading our Bibles, in showing discernment about what we watch and read, in working out our salvation with fear and trembling, etc.

3) They're sweet and kind and loving and culturally detached. That makes for boring television and boring lives. We want to see fighting and destruction and ugly words. And those of us who "engage with the culture" find this family too simplistic and "goody-goody." We forget that they've probably shared the gospel with more people than most of us who spend our time reading or watching stuff so we can relate to others who read and watch the stuff before we finally share the gospel.

Yes, this family has chosen to put their lives on television and sometimes their syrupy sweetness seems hard to swallow. (But is that because they're fakes or because our hearts prefer darkness to light?) Whether we agree or not with their decision, it's true they boldly speak of the love of Christ in the midst of extreme ridicule and point to His sustaining love in the midst of every disappointment.

The truth is that we don't have to watch them for one nanosecond. BUT, if we belong to Jesus, we do have to love them.


With love,
Trisha

Between the Comb and the Glass

Swinnock's warning about the vanities of great men is fitting for all of us.

How many great persons spend their time as Seneca speaketh, inter pectinum et speculum occupati, between the comb and the glass, and not between Scripture and prayer. Their labor is to go finely, to fare deliciously, to live honourably, to prosper outwardly; but not to honor God fruitfully, to discharge the trust which is committed to them faithfully, or to work out their own salvation diligently.
~George Swinnock


**George Swinnock was a Puritan minister and father of 9 who lived from 1627-1673. He's described as a "man of good abilities and a serious, warm, and practical preacher." (That sounds like my preacher!) 

Blogging Exhibitionists and The Bandwagon of Dark Confessions

Some time ago I read a post by a minister's wife at a well known blog that encourages women to get in the Word. The goals of the blog are wonderful and admirable and much needed.

Her post, however, was a confession of discontentment with motherhood. To be honest, she said, she just didn't delight in being with her children all day. (Can you imagine how her young children will feel when they read that?) To be honest, she said, she just wasn't one of those women who could have dinner on the table and clothes washed and put away and the house picked up. Besides, all that "keeper at home" stuff only made her depressed.

So she and her husband put their heads together and came up with a plan. Their children would be in daycare a bit more, and he'd help out with the cleaning and the cooking. By the way, she'd still have time to work on her stuff and do her blogging.

Because, honestly, she just wasn't one of "those" women.

This is from a Pastor's wife whose blog encourages women to be in the Word, to love the Word, to know what it says. Yet, there's wasn't a shred of self-denial, of servanthood, of death to self, of loving others with a love that COSTS you something--the love of Christ, in her post.

I felt sick as I finished reading her confession. This woman of influence, sharing her darkest struggles, not as, "Look I don't naturally have an affection for my children and my home. This is sin. Do I tailor my life to my whims or do I walk obediently according to God's Word?" but rather,"This is how I am, and it's ok to not die to self  but instead do what your flesh desires."

Surely there was one comment of disagreement, right? No. Instead there was a floodgate release of "Yes, that's me,too!" "Yes, you have to do what's right for you!" "Yes. I'm so thankful someone finally gave words to my struggles!"

What a lost opportunity. Instead of perhaps sharing her struggles in this area and then encouraging other women to discipline themselves for godliness, she simply encouraged sin. How many mothers were "liberated" that day because of one woman's words? How many children won't know the consistency of dinner on the table or clothes in the dresser or Mommy to read a book because Mommy has more important things to do, and she's just not that kind of woman?

Oh, our words have influence, and we must take seriously what we're encouraging other women to do. What is our goal in sharing our struggles? To share the grace of God in overcoming them OR to hear sympathetic voices ringing in our ears that we may then justify ourselves in our own eyes?

Because the road to popularity is often paved with confessions that disguise submission to the darkness in our hearts as "freedom."

"We need to be careful lest our eagerness to expose our inner darkness becomes an exhibition or even a celebration that will gain for us an acceptance with those who really do love darkness rather than light. The man who resolutely turns from darkness to light will not have much popular support. The truth teller, as Socrates predicted long ago, will have his eyes gouged out. So it has been. So it will always be. We don't gouge out eyes nowadays, not in civilized society. We merely tell the man who turns from the broad road to the narrow that he is hung up, not in touch with his feelings, a do-gooder, a party pooper, holier than thou--any label that will exonerate the rest of us of the responsibility of being Christ-like."
~Elisabeth Elliot, Discipline


Read carefully, my friends. Just because a blogger is popular or even a Pastor's wife, doesn't mean she's speaking truth. Be cautious about jumping on bandwagons of dark confessions or reinforcing another woman's sin by cheering her on in the comments section when what she's serving you contradicts the Word of God.

Instead, may God give us all the grace to risk the tomatoes in the face and the slurs of lovers of darkness as we speak the truth in love and PRAY.

With love,
Trisha

Thankful Thursday~Everywhere I Look I See Grace

~I've been waiting for a few weeks for our new stove to arrive. I should be able to enjoy this five-burner wonder by tomorrow evening. Guess what went out on us last night, though? Our 13 year old Miss Faithful decided to make a noticeable exit. I'm thankful for God's gracious timing that means we're only without an oven for a couple of days.

~I'm thankful for a delightful birthday lunch with my dear friend, Tami. God brought us together first in the blog world, and then He planted her feet right near me for a while. Little did I know when I left a comment on her blog that God would knit our hearts together in love in such a special way. She lights up my life and the lives of all who know her with the love of Christ. This generous friend of mine is hosting a giveaway, too, of Hymns and Sacred Songs by Leigh Nash. You must stop by, say hello, and enter. You must, I say!

~I'm thankful for this grace note. When the voices in my head tell me my instruction is falling on empty ears, God gives me a glimpse of why it's essential to be faithful in the little things day after day, even if I think no one's listening. How amazing is the work the Spirit does in the hearts of our children!

~I'm thankful for responsible children who are always a delight to come home to after running errands or keeping appointments. I'm thankful for the excitement that spills over when I bring them cream-filled Krispy Kreme doughnuts, covered in Valentine love. (Yes, I know. They have gluten and sugar and wheat and everything else a good mother doesn't give her children. :))

~I'm thankful for prayers like this that give words to my heart after restless, anxiety-filled nights.

"I am sadly harassed by doubts, fears, unbelief, in a felt spiritual darkness. My heart is full of evil surmisings and disquietude, and I cannot act faith at all. Give me peace of soul, confidence, enlargement of mind, morning joy that comes after night heaviness; Water my soul richly with divine blessings."
~Valley of Vision


~I'm thankful for the grief that still comes, often in waves, reminding me of precious memories with loved ones and the HOME that waits for all of us who belong to Christ.

~I'm thankful, that after being the worst Math-Teacher-Tyrant ever, my little girl still finds it suitable to say, "I love doing math with you, Mommy."

~I'm thankful for the endless ways God pours out His grace upon me through the laughter of my children, their infectious smiles, their spontaneous kisses and tight squeezes, and the work of their hands. (that's the smile of the elusive Ink...it's a mischievous grin, don't you think? You should have been with us at lunch the other day when he customized Psalm 3 to a mother's life. Hilarious!)

"Leave it to a grotesquely deformed leper to remind us that grateful people are characterized by grateful words."
~Nancy Leigh DeMoss


With love,
Trisha

A Gem of a Book You'd Probably Never Pick Up

For Christmas, our Pastor gave us a little book packed full of the wisdom of John Piper and Don Carson, The Pastor as Scholar and the Scholar as Pastor. It's a quick read, but one you'll go back to over and over. As our Pastor rightly observed, there's much in this book for everyone.

On shortcomings of the internet:
"First, it is so democratized that it is more difficult than ever to distinguish between truth and error, between authoritative opinion and fatuous opinion, between speculation and learning. Second it swamps us with brief information and opinion; it entices us into endless worthless discussions even on blogs that may themselves be valuable."
~Carson

Are we aware of these dangers, and are we easily caught up in worthless discussions?

On reading the Word devotionally vs. critically:
"Scripture remains Scripture, it is still the Word of God before which (as Isaiah reminds us) we are to tremble--the very words we are to revere, treasure, meditate on, and hide in our hearts (minds?), whether we are reading the Bible at 5:30 am at the start of a day, or preparing an assignment for an exegesis class at 10:00 pm."
~Carson

Is there a difference in how we treat the Word of God when we're reading it ourselves, and when we're teaching it to our children? Is there passion and reverence?

On the danger of applause:
Carson shares about approaching a friend to join him in a writing project regarding the doctrine of Scripture..."He replied that although he wished our project well, he did not want to write on a subject like that since he thought it would queer any chance he might have of getting a post at Oxford of Cambridge, where he would eventually do a lot more good. My response was that if he took that approach to confessional matters, it would not be long before he distanced himself not only from defending the doctrine, but from the doctrine itself. And that, I regret to tell you, is exactly what happened over the ensuing years. Beware the seduction of academic applause...On the last day, we stand or fall on the approval of one person, one master, the Lord Jesus."

Have I been seduced by blogger applause or other forms of approval? Have I watered down my beliefs to avoid offending others, or have I abandoned those truths altogether?

On what a student remembers:
"I dare never forget that students do not learn everything I try to teach them but primarily what I am excited about."
~Carson

What would our children say we're excited about? Would Scripture and prayer and the Gospel be on their list?

There's much more, and yes, Piper's contribution is every bit as beneficial. You'd do well to invest your time in this one.

With love,
Trisha

Nine Things I Learned About Prayer Last Year

Last year's Family Focus was A Passion for Prayer. Our desire was to learn more about prayer and cultivate a richer prayer life. We sung hymns, enjoyed readings, and memorized poetry about prayer. By God's grace, each resource was powerful and effective.

Little did I know, though, that God would teach me most about prayer by a means that wasn't listed anywhere on my planning sheet. God would teach me the most about prayer, not from other men's words, but from the fiery trials He ordained for me. From the death of my Dad to the death of Michele to my miscarriage to church struggles, it was in the midst of great pain that God gave me the sweetest teachings in the school of prayer.

1) Just do it: It's beneficial to read books about prayer. Spurgeon's sermons and words from E.M. Bounds encouraged and enlightened me this past year. But too often the temptation to read about something keeps us from ever doing that something. So we read books about prayer or books about Bible reading, but we never actually do either.  To have a deeper prayer life, you actually need to pray!

2) Get on your knees at least once a day: Nancy Leigh DeMoss shared that she prays at least once a day on her knees to remind her of who she is and who He is. It is a powerful position, bowing down before the Lord. From my suffering came an instinct to kneel before the LORD, whether it was with tears or gratitude or both.

3) Scripted prayers are a blessing. Once again, it's about the heart. The Valley of Vision and Matthew Henry's A Method for Prayer gave me words when my aching heart had no words, and all of these words were grounded in the truth of His Word. They also revealed to me how shallow and repetitive my own prayers have been. Yes, God is gracious to us regarding the inadequacy of our prayers, but it's more often true than not, that we can get lazy in our praying. Praying Scripture and these other prayers jolted me out of mindless repetition, infusing in me a desire to be more mindful and more Scriptural about my words.

4) There's a communion in prayer that is unique to suffering: This is a sweetness that I can't describe. I think each one of us has to know if for himself. But God has drawn me the closest to Him when I've suffered the most. I wouldn't trade any of that time for the highest mountain top experiences.


5) Sometimes all you can do is weep: There were many times when my tears were my words. What a comfort to know that the Holy Spirit was giving meaning to them.

6) We never stop growing in prayer: What a joy to know that we won't "arrive" at some perfect prayer life here on earth. Each day is an opportunity to cultivate a richer prayer life. How we cheat ourselves and fail to glorify God when we settle for  "Please help me have a good day. In Jesus' name, Amen" prayer habits.

7) "Thy Will Be Done" Terrified Me: It still does. But God showed me that my fear to pray those words showed how much I wanted my will to be His will instead of vice versa. It's ridiculous to think God is going to give me the hard thing just because I pray "Thy will be done," as though not praying it will keep all suffering and loss away. To have His will be mine. This is the true goal of prayer.

8) The Power of Ejaculatory Prayers: These are the prayers you lift up to the LORD throughout the day. When your two year old is most frustrating. When your children are bickering. When your mind is overwhelmed by discouraging thoughts. When you just want to sleep the day away because the heartache is too much. Whe you're overwhelmed by His goodness. I've offered up these types of prayers for years now, but I learned more about the value of them this year, and I've learned to stop and pray with my children more, too, in the middle of the striving and the stress.

9) I have no excuses: The suffering soul always finds time to pray. This is why we learn so much about prayer through our trials. It's my desire to be just as fervent and faithful in talking to the LORD whether I'm in the valley or walking on sunshine. May God in His mercy make it so.

"Therefore if you would be counted godly, be given to prayer. Prayer sanctifies your mercies (1 Tim. 4:5). Prayer weeds out sin and waters grace."
~Thomas Watson, The Godly Man's Picture

With love,
Trisha

Those Dirty Words

My friend, Becky, has posted an excellent piece about the importance of words and their meanings, words like "religion" and "meditation," just to name a few.

Granted, many today abuse these words and have fashioned Christianity into nothing more than beliefs based on their emotions instead of the word of God. They have cast aside Scripture, saying it's not enough, and instead want to rely on the voices inside their heads.

But we don't have to give these words up to their ignorance or foolishness or sin. While we should always be discerning, and we can only be that by being in the Word ourselves and hearing the Word of God preached each week, we need to guard against a retaliatory spirit that screams, "Aha! I caught you!" when a fellow Christian uses one of these words. Much more needs to be known to rightly label someone a heretic than whether they use the words "meditate" or "contemplate" or to brand someone a hypocrite because she speaks of her "religion."

You can read Becky's thoughts here. And here are a couple more great posts about the attack on the word "religion."

Does Jesus Hate Religion? Kinda, Sorta, Not Really
Following Up on the Jesus, Religion Video

With love,
Trisha

God's Megaphone

"I can't feel my boo-boos," five year old Ashlyn Blocker said through missing baby teeth she'd knocked out without a tear. Ashlyn is among a tiny number of people in the world known to have congenital insensitivity to pain. It's a rare genetic disorder that makes her unable to feel pain.

"Some people would say that's a good thing, but it's not," her mom said. "Pain's there for a reason. It lets your body know something is wrong and needs to be fixed. I'd give anything for her to feel pain." Ashlyn's baby teeth posed big problems. She would chew her lips bloody in her sleep, bite through her tongue while eating, and once stuck her finger in her mouth and stripped flesh from it.

We tend to think of pain as our great enemy, the source of our unhappiness, and we assume that if we could just get rid of pain, we would truly be happy. But in reality, physical pain is a gift--an internal warning signal that tells us something has gone wrong and needs our urgent attention. Similarly, our emotional, relational, and spiritual pain is a gift, warning us that an area of our lives needs urgent attention to bring about healing. So perhaps the secret to happiness is not so much figuring out how to avoid all pain, but learning how to respond to it.

C.S. Lewis said, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." God uses the physical pain that does not subside, the relational pain that puts us on edge, the emotional pain that brings us to tears, to get our attention and to turn our attention toward Him. Is that how God has used pain in your life? Do you find yourself praying more often, thinking more deeply, searching more urgently for the truth? When pain invades the busyness of our routine existence, it insists that we reexamine our assumptions and reevaluate our appetites and affections, doesn't it? Pain often affords us--or imposes on us--time for reflection. If we will accept it, pain can give us the gift of reconnection with God, a fresh intimacy with Him, a passionate nearness to Him. Pain brings us to our knees. We begin with our prayers for our pain to be removed. And as He works in us, our prayers change so that we begin to ask that the pain will be redeemed.

~Nancy Guthrie, The One Year Book of Hope

How to Keep a Healthy Level of Sanity

1) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

2) Sing along at the opera.

3) When the money comes out of the ATM, yell, "I won! I won!"

4) Page yourself over the intercom-don't disguise your voice.

5) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with it.

6) Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

~from Jan Karon's A Continual Feast


And some of our own family ways of keeping a healthy level of sanity....

7) Eat cookie dough.

8) When guests  are over for dinner, everyone claps once and shouts "chicken salad!"
(and even when guests aren't present.)

9) Before eating, scratch the plates with your utensils and make noises to imitate the characters in Diner Dash.

(Don't you want to have dinner with us now? I promise we don't throw our food.)

Ok, what's a fun way you keep a healthy level of sanity? I'm sure all of us need fresh ideas. :)

Love,
Trisha

Big Soft Ginger Cookies and an Ethics Question

My oldest daughter made these for us the other day, and they are yummy! Think of it as a soft version of a gingersnap.

Big Soft Ginger Cookies

2-1/4 c. flour
2 t. ground ginger
1 t. baking soda
3/4 t. ground cinnamon
1/2 t. ground cloves
1/4 t. salt
3/4 c. butter, softened
1 c. white sugar
1 egg
1 T. water
1/4 c. molasses
sugar for rolling

Preheat oven to 350. Sift together flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt. Set aside.

Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg, then stir in the water and molasses. Gradually stir the sifted ingredients into the molasses mixture. Let dough rest for 40-50 minutes (this will make it easier to handle...it is very soft! You might think it's too soft to work with, but it will form into balls just fine.)

Shape dough into walnut sized balls and roll in sugar. Place on cookie sheet and flatten slightly (the bottom of a glass works great).

Bake for 8-10 minutes and allow cookies to cool for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack. Store in airtight container.

**recipe from AllRecipes

Now for the ethics questions, which we've been debating around our home of late.

Is it ok for a Christian to have a "secret recipe"? That means when someone asks you for the recipe, you would say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't share that recipe with others. It's a secret."

I'm waiting for your answers, with a why or why not, of course! :)

Happy eating and thinking!

Love,
Trisha

The Winner of the January Giveaway

Congratulations to Jessica of Our Family for His Glory! You've won a copy of both Why We Love the Church and Basics for Believers.

Thank you to everyone who entered!

Thankful Thursday~A Little Bit of Hunny

"Blessed be childhood, which brings down something of heaven

 into the midst of our rough earthliness."

~Henri Frederic Amiel

I'm thankful for hunny-coated days, courtesy of uber-sweet 2 year olds gleaning inspiration from the great Pooh Bear.

Babyhood and Beyond

"...while we need to beware the view that sees little children as a burden or a weight to be shaken off at the earliest opportunity, we must also eschew the view that sees them merely as romantic toys. They are not objects to be dressed up cutely and paraded around for the fun of observing their antics. They are little souls that are to be nurtured and trained for God's glory and that involves lots of things that would not look at all romantic to the world (or to the worldliness in us)."

~Denise Sproul

Tending Your Garden

One of the biggest misconceptions we have about families comes from their size. We sometimes assume the larger family loves children more than the smaller family. Sometimes this is true. Most often it's not.

While there are those who don't agree that children are gifts from the LORD and do everything they can to reject such gifts, we can't always judge a parent's love for children by the number that grace the home. Perhaps you know Moms, like I do, of large families who love the baby stage, but seem to lose interest in the duties of parenting once a child turns 3. The cuddly cuteness wears off a bit, and one's reminded that there are still YEARS of hard work ahead. Many precious blessings are left ignored and neglected all because they grew older. Meanwhile, those looking in from the outside, based on the number of children alone, declare, "She must really love children!"

Children aren't something to be collected. They're not to be only treasured when babies and discarded when they can walk on their own. They're not given to us for our own pleasure, though they do bring us unspeakable joy. Rather, our children are "little souls" (that become big souls) in need of the nurture and admonition of the LORD. Think on that! We're to be training them for HIS glory, diligently so, at 6 weeks old and at 16.

Knowing this should make us look at our children, no matter the age, no matter how many, with great wonder and gratitude. Let us not be so enamored with sleeping babies that we forget to tend the hearts of hungry teenagers. Let us not grow weary because the docile infant is now a mischievous toddler or a six year old who just isn't getting the whole phonics thing.

Let's pray for perseverance and JOY, whether we're nursing a baby or discussing politics with our teen, knowing that true love embraces the great privilege and duty the LORD has set before us, both in babyhood and beyond.

With love,

Trisha

Once There Was a Brat

As I looked at this picture of my Mom, taken when she was visiting us, I remembered what a little terror I was when I was a child. Bratty. Check. Selfish. Check. Impulsive. Check.

I remembered my Dad's comment when I was planning my wedding, that he didn't know how I'd be a wife to someone. I couldn't even cook rice, he said. And this was true.

As a newlywed, who had already heard the predictions from fellow church members that my marriage wouldn't last, I wasn't a Proverbs 31 woman by any means. My poor husband didn't know what he'd come home to find on some days. Would I be calling the airlines again, pricing a one way ticket home? Or would I have a lovely dinner waiting?

Truly. The world revolved around me. Yes. I belonged to Jesus, but I hadn't heard much about that "dying to self" stuff. If you were a betting person, you might not have bet that I'd be who I am today, overwhelmed by God's grace and humbled by His discipline, and hungering, in the midst of pain and disappointment, to be more like Christ and have His will be mine, yet knowing how far I am from that. 

Those changes that He works in us happen, most often, gradually. We look back over the past 20 years, and we're amazed at what HE'S DONE. Not us. Him.

How can we not say that it's ALL GRACE?

It's fitting to share again what I posted at my Multitude of Mercies blog some time ago. 

Grace doth not lie in the heart like a stone in the earth, but 

as seed which will spring up,--"first the blade, then the ear, then 

the full-grown corn in the ear."

~Puritan Gems

*****

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She hated being away from her Mama, and she was good at throwing temper tantrums. She was often impulsive and the bi-weekly trips to the grocery store usually ended with her getting a spanking in the parking lot.

Now there is a woman.  She still hates being away from her Mama, but thankfully, her temper tantrums have mostly disappeared, though she still battles the ones that go on in her heart.  She doesn't get spankings in parking lots from her Dad anymore, but her Heavenly Father continues to discipline her, often most painfully, to make her more like Christ and to bring Him glory.

Once upon a time there was a little girl.  She rarely kept her room clean, and she'd get mad when her Mom would leave her a list of house keeping things to do after school.  She didn't know how to do much in the kitchen, and when she walked down the aisle to get married, she couldn't even cook rice.

Now there is a woman.  With lots of helping hands, her home is picked up much of the time, but she still battles disorganization.  She loves making her home an inviting place to be, and she delights in trying new recipes and pleasing her family with their favorite meals.

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She wasted lots of time reading twaddle, especially teenage romances in the summer.  She watched television quite a bit, including soap operas.  She failed to redeem the time over and over.

Now there is a woman. She loves to read good books, especially about theology.  Her favorite authors are the Puritans.  She enjoys the Classics and watching movies with her family. Living intentionally is her passion, and she strives to do it daily, though she fails over and over.

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She wanted to be perfect. A "B" on her report card would send her into a deep depression. She craved pleasing others. Performance was paramount and the measure of her worth.

Now there is a woman. She's learned that nothing is ever perfect.  She loves to please others, but she knows Who she must please above all. She doesn't seek self-esteem but longs instead for a servant's heart.  She reminds herself continuously that she's been bought with a price, and she's not her own.  She weeps over His mercy in redeeming her, and she's in awe to be a guest at His table.

Once upon a time there was a young girl.  When she got married there were many who whispered that the relationship would never last.  She was immature and selfish and made almost every decision based on her emotions. Life was all about her.

Now there is a woman.  She's still married to that same man, and she loves him more and more every day.  She's learned that a soft answer turns away wrath and that grace and forgiveness keep a marriage going.  She's learned that emotions are a gift from God, but she can't be ruled by them.  She's learned that life is all about living for Christ and dying to self.

That girl, by God's grace, became a woman.  A different woman.  And He continues to work in me and break me and refine me and humble me and love me and pour out mercies on me.  He continues to finish that good work that He started in me.

And this is what we have to remember with our children....

What we see right now isn't what they'll always be.  When we think there isn't hope or when we let worry take over, we have to remind ourselves that this moment, this month, or this year, this or that bad decision or difference of opinion, doesn't define who they will always be.  And it doesn't define us.

Though it's a cliche that is often made fun of, the motto, "Please be patient.  God isn't finished with me, yet" is still true.  How many of us are so different from who we used to be?  We didn't notice the changes all at once, and sometimes that's why we don't think we're changing at all.

Remember as Christians we ALWAYS have hope. Remember God loves our children more than we do.  Remember His faithfulness and His kindness.  Remember we're growing in grace, and growth doesn't happen all at once.

The almost four year old who still isn't potty trained will be one day. The three year old you can't take to the grocery store will one day pleasantly obey. The ten year old who still can't read will one day keep you busy going to the library.  The usually sullen 14 year old will one day grab your neck and say, "I love you, Mom."

Be faithful to do what God's called you to do. Wear out the carpet in your praying.  And trust Him.  Because one day the little girl will be a woman and the little boy will be a man.  And God, as always, will still be working all things together for our good.



With love,
Trisha

The Silence That Makes Us Pray Even Harder

Christ taught his disciples that men ought always to pray and not lose heart  (Luke 18:1). The hypocrite is revealed here. He will meddle with this duty now and then, but grows weary of the work if he is made to wait a long time for an answer. Saul prayed to God, and because he did not hear from him, he went at last to seek the devil. Observe the effect that God's silence or seeming denial produces in your heart. Does it wear off the edge of your prayers, or sharpen them? Does it move you away from God's door or make you fall on it with more courage and rekindle your affection more firmly? If you find your effort increased, you may conclude that Christ and His graces will come to you. It is a great folly to lose heart in prayer. If mercy does not come in all haste, will you run from it by ceasing to pray?...God for reasons best known to himself stays a while before He comes to His tempted, distressed servants for their deliverance, but leaves orders for them to apply themselves to this duty of prayer until He comes. He assures us that He will come soon enough to save us. We must be at it until He comes, though it is no easy matter."
~William Gurnall
The Christian in Complete Armour
as quoted in Voices From the Past

Favorite Reads from 2011 and the January Giveaway

In no particular order, with this word of caution: Remember that a recommendation doesn't mean I agree with every word written by an author. I do, however, believe it's an edifying book that won't lead you astray in your Christian walk. As always, measure a book by God's Word and use the discernment He's given you.

1) Humility by C.J. Mahaney: Mahaney instructs with passion and compassion and much practicality. Not one to leave the reader wondering where to begin in cultivating a spirit of humility, he lays out clear suggestions wrapped in reminders of God's grace. This is one of my top recommendations for family and church unity.

2) Why We Love the Church by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck: "The church manifests itself in churches. And churches do certain things and are marked by certain characteristics." 
In case you haven't noticed, there's a huge attack on the local church today. And it isn't coming from the pagan. As I was flipping through an "anti-church" book at Barnes and Noble, I was deeply grieved. Even if you're settled in your belief in the importance of being part of the local church, you must make sure your children understand why. The lie that we can just gather at Starbucks and not be under the authority of or accountable to a local church body will face our children at every turn. In this book, DeYoung and Kluck provide a sound primer, infused with much humor, for why being part of your local church is important. I literally shouted, "Go Kevin!" while reading this book. :)

3) Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung: This book radically changed the way I look at knowing "God's will." Truly a must read that will free you from the bonds of fear-based indecision.

4) Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians by D.A. Carson: Oh, how I wished Carson had written one of these expositions for many more books of the Bible! This is a short and edifying read, packed with much wisdom and encouragement and conviction. Don't miss it! It's very understandable, and while I've finished reading it on my own, each morning I'm reading through it with our children. Carson is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors.

5) Gilead by Marilynne Robinson: My personal reading in 2011 was very weak on fiction, and I'm reminded of it over and over by Ink. I'm glad I finally gave this book a try, though, for I was immediately captivated by Robinson's beautiful prose as well as her insight into the human heart as she shares the story of an aging father writing to his very young son. It's one time that I wished I was reading on a Kindle BECAUSE I was wanting to highlight so many passages!

6) Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Don Whitney: This book has caused quite a stir in some circles as Whitney has been accused of embracing mysticism and making a "discipline" out of things that aren't really disciplines of the Christian life. That said, this was still one of my favorite reads last year, one that I'll re-visit often, and one that all of our children will read. I didn't find anything "mystical" about Whitney's writings, and he's heavy on Puritan quotes. I think any of us can turn suggestions into legalism. That's often the reader's fault, not the author's. Highly recommended.

7) Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper: I know. I'm just now reading this. Actually, we're reading it together during our group time. Technically, it should be a 2012 book, but I wouldn't want to wait that long to recommend it. Everything we do should be for God's glory, and Piper clearly demonstrates how that truth manifests itself in our everyday living.

8) Spurgeon's Sermons on Prayer by C.H. Spurgeon: If you can only read one book about prayer this year, read this one. Spurgeon encourages and admonishes while sharing his passion for prayer as only he can. You will find your prayer life infused with much faith and hope after reading his sermons. (Valley of Vision and Matthew Henry's A Method for Prayer are wonderful books for teaching us what to pray and how to pray based on Scripture.)

9) Grieving, Hope, and Solace by Albert N. Martin: This is the one book I'd give to someone who has known the death of a loved one. I read this in a couple of days in December, and I was blessed by the compassion and encouragement that were strongly grounded in God's Word. The author has been there, and his determination to grieve in a manner that glorifies the Lord is a testimony of God's grace in his life. His words spur those of us who are grieving to do the same. While he specifically focuses on the hope we have in Christ Jesus when we die, this book is perfect for the unsaved, too, including a very strong presentation of the gospel.

10) The Real Scandal of the Evangelical Mind by Carl Trueman: I can tell my comprehension is improving when I can read something by Trueman and actually "get it." This is a seemingly neglected gem of wisdom that every Christian should read.


From the product description:
Fifteen years ago in The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind, historian Mark Noll warned that evangelical Christians had abandoned the intellectual aspects of their faith. Christians were neither prepared nor inclined to enter the intellectual debate, and had become marginalized. Today Trueman argues, "Religious beliefs are more scandalous than they have been for many years"-but for different reasons than Noll foresaw. In fact, the real problem now is exactly the opposite of what Noll diagnosed¯evangelicals don't lack a mind, but rather an agreed upon evangel. Although known as gospel people, evangelicals no longer share any consensus on the gospel's meaning. 



"If the church as a whole is losing its ability to be 'salt and light' in the culture, it is not because its members have no opinion of the films of Bernardo Bertolucci, no appreciation for the poetry of Emily Dickinson, and no regular slot on the Charlie Rose show. More likely , it is because they do not have a solid grasp of the basic elements of the faith, as taught in Scripture..." ~Trueman


I can't NOT give away one of these books, you know. In fact, I'm giving away two:
Basics for Believers AND Why We Love the Church. If you have one of the books already, you can always bless someone else with your winning copy.


Just leave a comment letting me know your favorite book read in 2011. Only US entries please, and be willing to provide your phone number if you win, since I'll be shipping directly from Amazon. Ok, if you didn't have a favorite read, I'll include you, too, if you leave a comment letting me know to put your name in the drawing.


I'll announce the winning name next Friday, January 13th.


Happy Reading!
Trisha

The Winners of Tending Your Garden

Congratulations to Debbie and Karen! You've each won a copy of Denise Sproul's Tending Your Garden.


Thank you to everyone who entered!

Much love,
Trisha

If She Knew What He Was Really Thinking

Getting fit is on almost everyone's resolution list. It was hilarious to overhear this confession of a man standing in front of the workout dvds, talking on his cell phone, while his toddler sat patiently in the cart.

"But I don't really want her to get fit. It will be obvious. She'll be fit, and I'm not. Don't they make some kind of dvd that will make her want to sit on the couch and drink beer?"

Six Ways We Welcome Another Year

At the end of the year, and the first week of the new one, too, our family does at least six things to welcome the New Year.

1) Pick the year's Bible reading plan (and add a new notebook, if needed). We're off the common path of reading through the Bible in a year and instead we're continuing with the reading of an entire book of the Bible every day for 30 days. January's book is Colossians. All of us found reading through Philippians for the month of December to be very beneficial. We'll be reading through Proverbs at lunch and the Psalms at dinner. Our Pastor is currently teaching from Isaiah. So even though I am concerned about spending most of our time in the New Testament, our family is exposed regularly enough to the "big picture" that I don't think a year of mainly working our way through the Pauline epistles will be harmful. :)

2) Decide on a Family Focus: I wrote about this at my Multitude of Mercies blog. Our  Family Focus is our family's theme for the year. Last year was "A Passion for Prayer." This year's focus is "Christian Love." Thus, most of our group readings will be focused on this topic, as well as the hymns we learn and the Scriptures and poetry we memorize.

The books we plan to read this year about Christian love are:
Charity and Its Fruits by Jonathan Edwards
Christian Love by Hugh Binning
Chapters from A Christian Directory by Richard Baxter
Love in Hard Places by D.A. Carson
Chapters from Wayne Mack's Manuals for Biblical Living
The Fruitful Life: The Overflow of God's Love Through You by Jerry Bridges
Love Walked Among Us: Learning to Love Like Jesus by Paul Miller
Various writings about love and charity at Monergism.

3) Write thank you letters to those who impacted our lives in a significant way in 2011. I still remember getting a letter from a friend years after we'd moved away from each other in which she told me that I was the primary influence in her coming to Christ. If not for that letter, I never would have known that she'd even remembered those gospel-centered conversations around the table. Every one of us has at least one person to thank from the previous year (or years ago if that's who the Spirit brings to mind) for touching our lives or encouraging us in a special way.

4) Evaluate our time. Time sheets are great for this as we're asking ourselves in what areas we need to spend more time and in what areas we need to cut back.

5) Ask ourselves how we've grown in the knowledge of Jesus Christ in the past year. A stagnant Christian life is dangerous. Each year we should be growing in our relationship with the LORD, and reviewing how God has been at work in us over the past year is just one way we work out our salvation with fear and trembling. If you don't know where to start, pray about it, and also ask your family to share how they've seen you grow.

6) Make reading lists. The list isn't a chain but a guide. I read very few books from last year's list. God had other plans for my time. BUT, the list kept me focused and kept me from reading only in one genre, which is my tendency. It's delightful to sit around the table as a family and encourage each other's list making, too, and my Mom even participated this year!

What's at least one thing you and your family always do to welcome another year?

With love,
Trisha

Giveaway of Tending Your Garden by Denise Sproul

Just a reminder that this ends Friday. If you haven't entered already, please do!

Mothering Like It All Matters