Thankful Thursday~Red Skies and Paper Dolls

"That there is a God and such a God, and that He is ours, ours for ever, our Father and our reconciled Lord, is matter enough for a never-ending psalm of rapturous joy."

~C.H. Spurgeon

~I'm thankful my Mom's initial diagnosis has been changed, and she's now having tests done by a pulmonologist. I'm so thankful she's been feeling better this past week, able to get out and go, though her breathing is still a huge challenge.

 I'm thankful for homemade paper dolls made by one sister for another, and the water stains on some that tell of curious little brothers.

I'm thankful for those moments when there's unity and peace and laughter. Did I say I'm thankful for those moments when there's unity and peace and laughter?

 I'm thankful for HP's willingness to replace this somewhat defective cartridge. :) I'm thankful for the convenience of a printer at home.

I'm thankful for God's protection from the wildfires that seem to come every year and skies like this that declare His power and majesty.

I'm thankful for pretty new shoes for grateful little girls.

~I'm thankful for Christ's never-failing intercession for His people.

~I'm thankful for the joy of hearing 6 year old Ella read from Spurgeon's Morning and Evening to her 11 year old sister.

~I'm thankful for God's provision for Mountain Man during a long, long day of jury selection. I'm thankful for a husband who is honest and willing to serve.

With love,
Trisha

When the Call for Grace Means the Gagging of Discernment

I've avoided posting about Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts until now.Upon the book's release, there was a firestorm of blogging for and against Ann and what she had written.

Having enjoyed her blog for some time, I was, however, troubled by some of the content of her book being shared on the internet, so I consulted my Pastor.  He advised me to leave the book alone, and I have done so.

Challies' recent review of One Thousand Gifts opened up the controversy all over again. He said. Then Ann said. Then everyone else chimed in, too.

However, my focus is not to address the concerns about the book or tell you not to read it. Just do an internet search, and you'll find too much to read. You'll also want to tear your hair out, spray Lysol all over yourself, and find a cave to live in because you're so sick of it all, meaning the responses on both sides.

I do want to comment on how we define "grace", though, and how a call for it has trumped our desire for discernment. This book and Ann have become sacred cows in Christian circles, though that surely has not been a desire of Voskamp's. Challies' concerns were valid and well presented, and he never questioned Voskamp's Christianity, yet I understand his need to offer those concerns with a different tone.

But, grace has emerged as code word meaning, "Don't you dare questions what Voskamp writes. She's lovely and humble and you're a cruel, loveless Christian who just doesn't get "it" if you criticize her in any way." Voskamp has a following that at times have been vitriolic in her defense. I remember reading early posts and comments from some of her closest friends. They were grievous, graceless tongue-lashings reminding me of the blind, misguided ready-to-fight-to-the-death passion of PETA and Greenpeace members. That's how crazy this debate got. I know Ann must have been grieved, too. I can't imagine her wanting to be represented in this way.

But, we've lost our perspective on what grace is, and we've lost our ability to be objective about the truth of the gospel. We've traded in the objective truth of the Word for the subjective truth of our experiences, and when the two diverge, we choose experience almost every time.

Voskamp's response to Challies' was misleading, denying that she even knows what "mysticism" is. Few have addressed this denial. Anyone who has read Voskamp's blog for any time has noticed the progression of mysticism into her posts, and one of the books I've read that she highly recommended is steeped in mysticism and experience trumping the Word of God.

Her time at a monk's retreat,  her participation in very popular on-line book club that worked its way through a book about the Sabbath written by a PAGAN author who was all about "experience", and her close relationship to those book club hosts, who mocked concerns about the mystical writings of this pagan author, are  reasons to believe that she's at least aware of what mysticism is and the controversy stirred up by quoting and exalting certain authors. Can we not just call it what it is? Is it not "grace" to go there? For me to observe this inconsistency is not hateful or ungracious or unloving.

At the end of the day, who cares? Why even take the time to address this when it's being hashed out over and over everywhere. I care, and I want my children to care. Because what's at issue here is how quickly our discernment is distorted when we make anything else but God's Word our measure. 


How will we evaluate the books we read, Voskamp's and any others? Are we reading through the misguided lenses below?

1) Friendship and gushy sentiment: Someone is my friend and, therefore, he/she must not be too off base, and if they are, we'll maybe I'm the one who doesn't know much.

2) Experience and words: The words and experience are beautiful, therefore, they must be true.

3) Blind devotion: Because this person's writings have influenced my life in such a positive way, she can't be wrong.

4) Custom-designed theology: Our theology is based in our experience and a mish-mash of feel-good teachings rather than the solid foundation of the Word.

5) Counterfeit grace: Is it grace to not call error error? If my daughter comes us to me and says, "You know, Mom, I know the Bible says that ____  (choose a sin) is wrong, but I've met a really nice person who is ____, and I just can't believe God would condemn her behavior," is it grace for me to say, "Ok, honey. I don't want to judge, and it's very important that I show you grace, so you just go on believing what seems right to you."

6) Past performance: Just because someone hasn't presented false teaching  before, doesn't mean he never will. If R.C. Sproul or Kevin DeYoung wrote books espousing teachings contrary to the Word of God, would we just convince ourselves we've misunderstood them? Would we view the errors through all the above lenses and blind ourselves to the truth? 

7) Celebrity endorsement: If a celebrity author or pastor has endorsed a book, it must be good and sound.

With every book we read, we have to  guard against embracing error because it's clothed in lovely attire or because it's written by a favorite author. We need to ask ourselves some hard questions.

How are we measuring what we read? Have we allowed experience or friendship or lovely words and smiling faces to trump what God's Word says? Are we so scripturally ignorant that we can no longer separate truth from error? Are our days steeped in blogs and books so that we have no time for the Word? Is our fear of criticism stronger than our love for the truth? Have we believed the lie that to disagree or identify error means we have no love for our brothers or sisters or that we lack grace?

With love,

Trisha

I Shall Owe Him Most

"What shall I render to the LORD for all 

His benefits to me? I lift up the cup of salvation and 

call on the name of the LORD."

~Psalm 116:12,13

For mercies, countless as the sands, 

Which daily I receive

From Jesus, my Redeemer’s hands, 

My soul what canst thou give?

Alas! from such a heart as mine, 

What can I bring him forth?

My best is stained and dyed with sin, 

My all is nothing worth.

Yet this acknowledgment I’ll make 

For all he has bestowed;

Salvation’s sacred cup I’ll take 

And call upon my God.

The best returns for one like me, 

So wretched and so poor;

Is from his gifts to draw a plea, 

And ask him still for more.

I cannot serve him as I ought, 

No works have I to boast;

Yet would I glory in the thought 

That I shall owe him most.

~John Newton

Olney Hymns, Hymn 50

It's A Boy's Life

 Chips. Bare feet. Comfy Couch. Good book.

And the wish for a little privacy.

How Can I Love My Local Church? Let Me Count the Ways

There once was a family who loved being with God's people. They spontaneously invited others over for Sunday dinner or splurged on dinners out. They would drive an hour just to return a Bible because that meant they'd get to see their friends again. They would host Bible studies to minister to others in the church who needed that fellowship and encouragement. They sacrificed their time and money and resources. They reached out and truly desired to love and encourage. They couldn't wait to get to church each Sunday.

But then things went wrong. Hard words. Unforgiven offenses. Misunderstandings. Accusations.

Bitterness built up and fear replaced love. Words and affection were measured. Involvement was limited. Attachments were restrained. Determination was made that such a mess would never happen again.

We are that family. And there are lots of families like us. We have to re-learn and willfully do that which used to come so naturally, loving those with whom we worship. I have not mastered this list below, and I repeatedly stumble in my efforts. In fact, my fellow church members would give me poor marks on performance of these. But this is what I'm aiming for, what we should all be aiming for...not simply restraining from evil, but actively, fervently, loving our brothers and sisters in Christ. God is faithful to give us the grace to do so.

1) Read the Word: Our minds are renewed by the reading of His Word, and that renewal includes transforming those selfish concerns that often keep us from loving His people. It also arms us with discernment to know theological truth and error. When you drink up His Word, those truths overflow and bless those around you.

2) Deal with offenses or let them go: Love covers a multitude of sins and love speaks the truth. Choose one. To ignore either is to open the door wide open to conflict and bitterness. You might as well roll out the red carpet and say, "Come on in!"

3) Be thankful and make a note of it: Thankful people have their eyes fixed on the goodness of the LORD which leaves them much less time to magnify the faults of the saints or petty offenses. Write those praises down, including what you appreciate about those with whom you worship.

4) Treasure your Pastor: Treasuring leaves no time for roasting. Consider your pastor's responsibilities, what he gives to your church each week, how he practically loves the body, the sacrifices he makes. Consider the conflict you are spared as a church body because you have a godly shepherd. Let him know how much you appreciate him, in word or on paper.

5) Have a heart to encourage: Think of ways you can encourage the members of your church. Write them notes or tell them directly. A fellow church member recently mailed me a cartoon she thought I'd like. It was a small gesture that spoke volumes. "I'm thinking of you, and I'm taking the time to show you I care." Never think the encouragement you have to offer won't matter.

6) Pluck out roaming eyes: Be careful about comparing churches. God has you where you are for a reason, and unless there is theological error you should be running from, it's wise to be content where He has placed you and be the foot or arm or leg He wants you to be.

7) Know why you should love the Church: Every day we're bombarded with anti-Church messages. We're encouraged to have church "our way." Seek the truth in His Word, from your pastor, and from books like, Why We Love the Church or the many articles and recordings found here. 

8) Remember this about those hard-to-love members: Sometimes they're the ones hurting the most. It's no excuse. It's just a fact that should lead us to patience with and fervent prayer for them. Our Pastor has literally loved us into staying in our church body.

9) Pray: Pray for your pastor. Pray for yourself. Pray for your fellow members. Pray you would abound in love for Him and for one another. I mean, seriously, PRAY.

10) Think "Family": I used to compartmentalize church life and family life. There were those I worshipped with each week, and then there were those I actually liked to spend time with. Think of your church family as REAL family and treat them so.

11) Don't expect change overnight: Conflict rarely comes full force overnight and healing doesn't usually, either. Be patient and faithful and expect Him to heal your hurting heart and damaged relationships.

12) Rejoice and weep as you never have before: It's been said that we should weep with fellow Christians and rejoice with fellow Christians like we're weeping and rejoicing for the first time. Congratulate that Mama who's expecting another baby. Weep with that sister who's home life is overwhelming or discouraging. Take on your fellow members' joys and burdens like they're your own.

13) Get off the sidelines and get in the game: It's easy to think we're part of a church when we just show up each Sunday. Make an effort to be part of those activities that encourage growth in your relationship with others and give you the opportunity to serve your church body.

14) Commit: Josh Harris refers to those who attend church week after week without any form of commitment as ones who "date the church." Stop dating the church!

15) Be faithful: What do you love more? God's church and His people or your children's sports games  and humanitarian efforts? Guard against letting casual commitments interfere with your gathering with the saints. Consider what you're teaching your children when you miss a summer of church because there are sports games every Sunday or tournaments, etc. And while ministering to a homeless shelter is great, it shouldn't take precedence on the Lord's Day over worship with your local church body.

16) Be all ears and all heart: Sometimes those who are hurting just need to know someone is listening. Really listening. Not pointing fingers. Not lecturing, but listening with great garments of compassion.

17) Be quick to repent and slow to offend: Think twice before you speak and act and guard against giving offense. But when you do, be super quick to make things right.

18) Give them grace: I often show more grace to those on my blog roll than those in my church. Consider others you disagree with about issues or books or theology and how much grace you extend them. Are you as generous with those you worship with each week?

19) Remember they're handpicked: When our children fight, I remind them that God chose who would be their siblings. There's nothing random about our families, and there's nothing random about those with whom we worship each week.

20) Consider the kernel: In most criticism, there is at least a kernel of truth. Consider it. Ask God to make you overflow with a teachable spirit.

These last three posts have felt like a long spanking from the LORD. It's my prayer that somehow God would use my own failures and sin to prevent others, especially our children, from the same errors, give hope to those whose hearts are breaking from church conflict, remind some they've forsaken His people, and move us all to love more actively and unconditionally. How good and merciful our God is!

With love,
Trisha


This is the third in a series. The second is How God Uses Church Conflict to Sanctify Us and the first, Eleven Ways to Hurt Your Local Church.

11 Ways God Uses Church Conflict to Sanctify Us

Church conflict reminds me of the story of Jonah. We're not sent to Ninevah, but we are told to be part of a community of believers. We don't think certain Christians are worth our time when we encounter conflict, so we decide to do things our way. Instead of ship-boarding, you'll find us church-hopping. While our presence isn't life-threatening, we do infect others with our past troubles and bad attitudes. Ultimately, we cherish our idolatrous gourds more than we do His people and His Church.

The truth is that anything God uses to make us more like Jesus is a gift, including church conflict. So, what are some of the ways God uses these struggles to refine us?

1) We're purged of "acceptable sins" and idols: Other than parenting, church conflict has brought to surface more of my sin than anything else. Selfishness. Anger. Gossip. Slander. Anxiety. Fear. Little love for His people. You know. Those sins that we cherish in our hearts because, hey, at least they aren't adultery or murder.

How many of us never knew how selfish we could be until we had children? And how many of us never knew how important blue carpet is to us until the church committee changes it to green? What a mercy it is from the LORD to show us our sin! If we run from church to church or leave church altogether, we miss an opportunity, be it a painful one, to grow in grace and holiness.

2) We learn to face conflict Biblically:  Most of us are too comfortable with the world's way of facing conflict. We know what God's Word tells us to do, but it's hard to stomach. It's much easier to ignore or stew or gossip or run. Church conflict forces us to make a choice. Continue in sin or seek to restore fellowship Biblically.

3) We learn to trust in His providence: How quickly I embrace the doctrines of grace, the wonder of God's sovereignty over my salvation, but abandon that belief when it comes to church relationships. Consider His purposes in this trial He has set before you. Know that He has ordered every detail in perfect wisdom.

4) We learn worship is about Him and not about us. How many Sundays do we spend thinking little of our Savior and way too much of how others are treating us or how our needs aren't being met? What is the purpose of worship?When we truly gather with the saints to magnify and glorify Him, we lose the high view of we have of ourselves and our "issues."

5) We learn the value of long-term commitment: When walking in the flesh, we're not committed to much of anything other than ourselves. Our own church struggles started almost 4 years ago. It's been a long road, but God has shown us that, week by week, He's restoring and healing. In a society that craves instant-everything, we struggle to believe that God's timing is perfect and that sanctification is a process, but how rich are the rewards that come from waiting on the LORD.

6) We learn to submit: To God, church authority, and if we're women, to our husbands. I vividly  remember standing in my bedroom, in tears, asking my husband if we could just go to another church. I didn't think I could take anymore. How differently our lives would be if my Beloved had agreed. Instead, he told me "no." And though I wasn't happy at the time, I'm thankful he protected us in that way, and I see how God has blessed our obedience.

7) We learn obedience is about honoring God, not having a perfect outcome. Too often we think obedience equals happy endings. But will we obey and love His people when they won't accept our apologies or when they abuse our kindness? Church conflict quickly reveals whether our obedience is grounded in idealized outcomes or in honoring Christ. There is blessing in obedience and it will go well with us, BUT the blessing doesn't always mirror our expectations.

8) We learn that only Jesus satisfies: You are going to disappoint someone, and someone is going to disappoint you. Only Jesus fully satisfies, not your best buddies at church or the worship music or your pet program or your pastor. When God strips us of these things through church conflict, we have to face the truth about what we've been treasuring in our hearts.

9) We learn the value of hedges: If God has hedged you in, has not provided some easy way to leave your church, praise Him for it! Those hedges are His means of loving and protecting you. It's a means of making you take a good look at your sin, learn to love His people, meditate on His goodness, and trust Him.

10) We learn how to encourage other struggling pilgrims to press on: Before we walked this hard road, I would have encouraged someone in the midst of church conflict to just walk away. Just go find another church where you can be "happy". But, now I would tell you, as I show you my self-inflicted battle wounds, to not be in such a hurry. Wait on the Lord. Press on. Run this race with His people at your side, the very ones you struggle to forgive and love.

11) We learn to weep over our sin and rejoice over the Gospel: God  uses church conflict to break hardened and prideful hearts. He brings us to our knees as He shows us how quick we are to offend and be offended, to mistreat His own people, to choose self over Him. He brings us to tears and gives us hearts that readily proclaim, "Oh, to grace, how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be!" He reminds us we need the good news of the gospel every minute of every day, and that without Him, we can do nothing.

I'm a slow learner who still has so far to go, but He is long suffering and ready to forgive and slow to anger. I thank Him daily that He has not given me what I deserve or withheld His blessings from me as I've struggled to honor Him. May God grant us much wisdom as we seek to honor Him and His Church.

With love,
Trisha

***This is the second post in a series. Here's the first , Eleven Ways to Hurt Your Local Church. The last will focus on ways we can love our local church.

Eleven Ways to Hurt Your Local Church

***This is the first post of a three-part series. The other posts will address ways to love your local church and church conflict as a means of sanctification. Thus, those issues aren't expounded on in this post nor solutions offered for the below attitudes/sins.

1) Convince yourself they don't need you and you don't need them: Find a mountain or a Starbucks and worship "organically." Gather with a few friends somewhere and neglect the sacraments and the preaching of the Word. Have church "your way." Tell yourself those worshippers at the local church body are deceived, that corporate worship is a man-made invention, and a pagan one at that.

2) Take everything personally: The comment about your hair. The fact that no one told you about the party so-and-so was having. The change in worship times or music sung. The choosing of green carpet over blue. No one remembering your birthday or rejoicing with you over your good news or weeping with you over your sad news like you thought they should. Fill in the blanks.

3) Contaminate your children: Make sure they know how so-and-so offended you. Let them hear your sarcastic comments about other members or how the church is run. Roast the preacher over Sunday dinner, as they say, and teach them early on how to gossip and slander and nurse discontentment.

4) Be Your Own Man (or Woman): Believe that you know it all, that there is no authority over you, and you need not be accountable to anyone. Bristle under correction and dismiss every ounce of criticism as unfounded.

5) Sport those quills: Porcupines are untouchable, and so is the Christian who comes to church each week on the defensive. Other members learn you're prickly and unapproachable.

6) Keep a detailed ledger: Remember every offense, the time and date, too. Play the scenes over and over in your mind and revel in the role of a victim.

7) Make worship all about you: Are you entertained each week? Are your "needs" getting met? Are there enough like-minded families or families with children or singles or married without children, etc.? Does everyone else look like you and like what you like?

8) Believe you're the exception: No one has ever been mistreated in church as you have. No one has ever felt so lonely at church as you do. No one has ever had to endure such long seasons of conflict at church. Surely, God wouldn't have you put up with any of it. After all, you're called to endure affliction, but a local church body should be the last place you have to do so.

9) Let fear rule your heart: Base current relationships on past hurts. Assume everyone is only going to betray you in some way, and tell yourself you're done taking risks.

10) Forget providence: Forget that every conflict and blessing comes from the hand of the Lord. This includes the sweet lady who gave you some homemade jam as well as the not-so-sweet lady who wanted to know if you're ever going to potty-train your child. Dismiss the truth that God has a purpose for even those stinging remarks and those trying relationships and the fact that the carpet is green instead of blue.

11) Run!: When in conflict or disagreement or simply unhappy, hit the road. Search for a church with perfect people and the perfect programs and the perfect pastor. Remind yourself church membership means nothing.

Before you comment that I don't understand, let me tell you I do. I'm not a pastor or a scholar, but I am a master of every one of these sins. I have quills the size of broadswords, and I have a ledger that taunts me. Fear rules me many a Sunday, and I repeatedly fail to love my fellow saints with the love of Christ. In the past, I've begged my husband to let us leave our church body. I've been falsely accused and betrayed and know well the pain of thoughtless remarks. I've slandered and gossiped and acted without self-control. I've failed to forgive as Christ has forgiven me. And I continue to beg God to fill my heart with a love for the saints that honors Him. You see, I'm a big mess, and that's why I can tell you so well how to hurt your local church.

But I'd also be the first to tell you to be part of it, to love it, and to cling to Jesus, knowing, though you might not be feeling, that God is working out something good in the midst of your conflicts and heartaches.

Much love,
Trisha

24

I'm praising God for this wonderful milestone today...24 weeks! What a mercy it is to carry this precious life, to feel him move, to know that God has fashioned all of his days. 

By this point in a pregnancy, many start to assume that one can't wait to get to the delivery. But I am thankful for each moment, desiring to hurry not one of them. Though I have known the joy of carrying many babies, God has only increased my wonder and gratitude with each precious one.

That He forms us. That He knows us. What a mercy!

"Before I could know thee, or aught else, thou hadst a care for me, and didst hide me away as a treasure till thou shouldst see fit to bring me to the light. Thus the Psalmist describes the intimacy which God had with him. In the most secret part--his reins, and in his most secret condition--yet unborn, he was under the control and guardianship of God."

~C.H. Spurgeon on Psalm 139

With love,

Trisha

I Can't Wait to Tell You What God Has Done!

"When we have received any special good thing from the Lord, it is well, according as we have opportunities, to tell others of it. When the woman who had lost one of her ten pieces of silver, found the missing portion of her money, she gathered her neighbors and her friends together, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I had lost.'

We may do the same; we may tell friends and relations that we have received such -and-such a blessing, and that we trace it directly to the hand of God. Why have we not already done this? Is there a lurking unbelief as to whether it really came from God; or are we ashamed to own it before those who are perhaps accustomed to laugh at such things? Who knows so much of the marvellous works of God as His own people; if they be silent, how can we expect the world to see what He has done?

Let us not be ashamed to glorify God, by telling what we know and feel He has done; let us watch our opportunity to bring out distinctly the fact of His acting; let us feel delighted at having an opportunity, from our own experience, of telling what must turn to His praise; and them that honor God, God will honour in turn; if we be willing to talk of His deeds, He will give us enough to talk about."
~P.B. Powers as quoted in Spurgeon's Treasury of David Vol. 1, p. 114

Yogurt Streusel Muffins

"The appearance of hot quick breads on the breakfast board 'is a means of breakfast grace not to be underrated by the wise housewife.'"

~Marion Harland, 1903, quoted by Marion Cunningham in The Breakfast Book

• These were a big hit! I doubled the recipe, using regular (not low-fat) yogurt, and the result was 24 muffins, plus an extra-large muffin, plus 6 mini-cakes. (Are Pampered Chef muffin pans unusually small? ) 
• Of course, any muffin aficionado knows you must top the warm muffins with butter before serving. :)

• Streusel topping:
• 2/3 cups pecans, almonds or walnuts, finely chopped
• 1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted 
• Muffins:
• 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted and cooled 
• 2/3 cup sugar 
• 2 large eggs 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup plain low-fat yogurt
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Make streusel topping: In a small bowl, combine streusel ingredients and pinch together into large crumbs. Place bowl in freezer.
2. Make muffins: Preheat oven to 375°F. Line cups of a muffin tin with paper liners. In a large bowl, whisk butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla and yogurt. Stir in flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt with a wooden spoon. Fill each muffin cup with batter. Scatter streusel topping over each muffin and press lightly on crumbs so they adhere to batter. Bake until tops are golden, 17 to 20 minutes. Let muffins cool in pan set on a wire rack for 5 minutes, then remove muffins to rack to cool completely.

~original recipe here

With love,

Trisha

Only a Mom

Only a Mom would send her daughter 6 bags of the coveted Bar-B-Q Fritos across the miles without a thought of the cost of postage. (That's a big deal since I can't buy these in our part of the country! )

Only a Mom would say she got "a little something" for Sweet Baby Boy, when she actually bought him quite a few things.

And only a Mom would do that when she's feeling so poorly and most everything is a struggle.

Thank you so much, dear Mama! I love you, and I appreciate every bit of sacrifice you poured into this blessing!

Thankful Thursday~Birthday Edition

I'm thankful for a family who made my birthday yesterday delightfully special. I'm thankful for another year of knowing even more how amazing His grace is.

I'm thankful for children who join me joyfully in my birthday celebration.

I'm thankful for children who know what I love...chocolate and books. Always a perfect combination.

I'm thankful for Ink's sense of humor: "Um, you have over 400 items on your Amazon wish list." And he survived the search!

I'm thankful for children who LOVE tea as much as I do and for this lovely teapot that will grace my table each morning. I'm thankful for children who just can't stay out of the pictures. :)

 I'm thankful for my Beloved who whisked me away last weekend for a special Mother's Day/Birthday trip. I should have "spoiled" tattooed on my forehead.

I'm thankful for children who think the above of me. I'm thankful this bookmark didn't say, "Mother who loves to watch t.v. or spend time on the computer." It's God's grace that it didn't.

 I'm thankful for children who also know who I love to read. Carson. Spurgeon. Owens. Ryle. And ALL the Puritans. :)

 I'm thankful for children who think I'm kinder and sweeter than I am, who look at me each day, with grace-colored glasses.

I'm thankful for God's not giving me what I deserve and giving me so much of what I don't deserve.

Thank you, my precious, precious family, for making my days an endless stream of Mother's Days and birthdays. I can never fully count the gifts you give me each day and the ways you bless me. I love you!

Update on My Mom

Thank you to the many who have been praying for my Mom! I'm grateful beyond words!

She has been diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension. Obviously, this can be very serious, and we are praying for wisdom for the doctors and for speedy effects from the medications.

Shortness of breath is her biggest struggle right now. Though having her go on oxygen seems like a logical solution, her doctor actually advised against this yesterday.

My Mom will be seeing the cardiologist tomorrow and will also be following up with a pulmonologist.

The good news is that she has started to feel a bit stronger, at least able to wash dishes and take care of some other household duties...all of the stuff we so easily take for granted in being able to do.

Your continued prayers are a great blessing, and I thank you advance for continuing to intercede for her.

Much love,
Trisha

The Weight of My Inbox

While I was soaking up some vitamin D with my littlest one, the infamous Dr. Mercola came to mind. Are you familiar with him? He's the one who informed me I should spend at least some of my time outside without sunglasses to get the full effect of the rays' benefits.

I remember reading his daily e-mails. What a weight they were! Yes, they were full of sometimes helpful information, but never without a side of fear. Every day brought some new finding, some new study that meant a complete life overhaul. Don't eat this. Don't touch that. (But if you did eat this or touch that, thankfully he had a product to make everything better.)

Then there were the retailer e-mails. Each day a new bargain came my way or a new book release, but time was running out, and surely I didn't want to be the fool only person to miss out on this one time deal.

Crafty inspiration came my way, too. 101 exciting things to do with a toilet paper rolls. 50 fun projects to do with your toddler that will guarantee super-duper brain development. 

And let me not forget the education loops. There were updates and questions and recommendations. After all, why use a curriculum just as it is? I might miss something important by faithfully sticking to the plan while everyone is sharing how they're tweaking those plans to make them so much better.

But one day, all of those e-mails just disappeared. There weren't 100 messages waiting for me daily. There were only 3. Time had run out on the forwarding of messages from my old e-mail to my new, and I had forgotten to notify all my e-mail buddies.

The result? Freedom!

I hadn't fully understood how draining those message were. They were custom-ordered expectations and burdens that I had to either delete or do or just let sit in the back of my mind while I decided if I should delete or do. And those expectations would eat away at me without pause. "Remember reading that you should do this..." "You still haven't added that to your day." "Don't forget that book is on special for just a bit longer." "Weren't you going to buy something at the craft store so you could do one of those projects?"

It's easy to complain about information overload, but in most cases, we're the ones welcoming the load...one website or blog feed or yahoo group at a time. We fool ourselves into thinking we're spending time wisely by considering and being aware of all of our options, but often we're simply addicted to the need to know and bound by the fear of not knowing.

We think endless options and information will make us wiser Mamas, but the truth is they easily distract us from the duties at hand. They make us restless and doubtful, as we wonder if  there's one more thing we should be doing and some better way of doing it. We haven't even planned dinner for that evening, but we know the latest book releases, the current health trends, and the best way to re-use dryer lint. Is that truly looking well to the ways of our households?

If I was still getting all of those crafty e-mails, I might be doing an amazing art project with my 23 month old. But most likely I'd be distracted by a weighty inbox, making lists of things I want to do one day. And all the while I'd be missing out on those moments in the sun sharing space with some of the cutest toddler legs ever.

With love,

Trisha

***I know someone will take this as a blanket rant against information in your inbox. It's not. Each Mama needs to discern what's getting her attention and ask herself if a weighty inbox is profitable to her family life and to her soul. :)

Mother's Day 2012

A Marvelous Mercy

Thanks be to God there were no blockages found when the heart catheterization was done on my Mom this morning! Thus, no stent or pacemaker needed.

I'll know more later, but I just wanted to thank you for your prayers and praise the LORD for His kindness.

With love,
Trisha

Priorities

As I settle Clairesy, 3, down for a nap:

Claire: Are you going to have a baby boy?

Me: Yes.

Claire: I like Baby Boy. Do you like Baby Boy?

Me: Yes. I love Baby Boy. Are you going to tell Baby Boy about Jesus?

Claire: Yes. But not right now. I'm going to take a nap.

Notes from Home

"Take notice not only of the mercies of God, but of God in the mercies. Mercies are never so savoury, as when they savour of a Saviour."
~Ralph Venning, 1620-1673

Loving the Learning : It's that time of year when most homeschool families are excited about summer break. Us? We're thrilled (ok, I am) to be entering our third term and glad to be on schedule. July 23rd is our momentous last day, and then we'll be enjoying a break until after baby arrives.

Ink and Jake have especially enjoyed George Grant's Modernity course and the plan is to go through Christendom next year. Emma and Luke are loving Visual Latin, and Luke reminds me that Ink and Jake would have loved Latin, too, if they'd studied it this way. :)

I'm attempting for the first time ever to plan out an entire school year for all of the children. Mystie at Simply Convivial has been sharing awesome posts about how to do this. If I had a tenth of her organizational skills, I can only imagine what the days might be like. But since that is a haunting ideal, I'm not staying in my imaginary place for long.

Elisabeth's hearing: Elisabeth's green-pellet-in-the-ear adventure is behind us, and she got a perfect report from the ENT last week. I stopped by a hearing evaluation center the doctor recommended and was so grateful when they said they could see her right then. The verdict? Her hearing is just fine! Thanks be to God!

So now I'm pursuing speech therapy methods I can try at home with her. If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. :)

Family Time: We've got one last chapter in the Penrod and Sam book. It's such fun having Daddy do this read aloud, and it's a favorite of the children.

We're considering our first family vacation ever to somewhere other than the east coast. The Littles are especially excited, and I love that they'd all rather be able to stay longer somewhere than have a lot of fancy things available to do. I'm thankful for children who love the outdoors, have great imaginations, and delight in books. This makes it much easier when planning a trip. :)

Baby Boy: How gracious God is to bring me thus far in this pregnancy. I'm 22 weeks and 2 days, and my visit yesterday with my OB went very well. My blood pressure and weight are great, and I'm thankful for a normal, uneventful visit.

I'm grateful to be feeling well enough to work out consistently, which is especially important when you already have enough fat for baby to thrive on. Plus, the terror of hearing them say in the operating room, "This lady requires two operating tables!" is quite the motivator. Ha!

My Crohn's is quite subdued most days, and that is a great mercy! In all my years of having this disease, even though I was so sick when pregnant with Ella and didn't know if I'd ever be able to walk normally again, I have never known the affliction of being hospitalized for extended periods of time or losing massive amounts of weight. It is only because of the grace of God, and I've grown more and more aware of how much He's spared me.

Do we have a name? We think so. Are we sharing it? Not yet.

Making it Home: We're eager to have a new roof overhead, but we're still waiting on our monstrous mortgage company to release the money that belongs to us since we've paid those insurance premiums all these years the money we had to send them from our insurance company. They're tyrants I say, and if I didn't believe in God's perfect timing, I think I'd fly to Minnesota and picket their office or something like that. ('Cause that's such a productive use of my time...)

That said, I'm grateful we haven't had major rainstorms, considering we have several exposed areas on our roof. Every time those dark clouds gather but the rain doesn't fall, I praise God for His mercy. (And honestly, I'd praise God for His mercy, though it would be harder, even if He saw fit to have our roof leak. Is it not true that everything God does for us is best and is a mercy?)

The guys painted our master bath, and it's beautiful! I'll post pictures after I finish adding the lovely details.

Prayer Requests: Most importantly, my Mom is having a heart catheterization done tomorrow at 10:00 eastern time. Test results have shown that her heart is very weak, so the doctor is considering a stent or a pacemaker, depending on what he finds during the surgery. Her results explain why she's been feeling so miserable these past months and has been struggling to breathe.

Her visit with a neurologist revealed that she's also been having mini-strokes, with a more significant one having happened in January. This explains her constant falling and the change in her walk.

Heavy and serious stuff, and the hearing those reports put me in a state of panic and worry.  My heart is especially heavy knowing that everything she does is such an effort for her. But I remembered Who I belong to, and Who exactly orders every moment of our days. "...Thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7

Your prayers for my Mom are greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance for interceding on her behalf.

I'll be away from the blog for the next few days, but I hope to have Ink post an update about my Mom.

With love,
Trisha

Mama Archers and Other Lessons from The Help

I recently finished The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Set in the south, this account of the relationship between two black maids and a college graduate who writes their stories, offers moving and thought-provoking pictures of that time.

The author's worldview shines forth clearly with her persistent taking of the Lord's name in vain, her brief commentary on homosexuality, church-going characters who don't manifest much fruit of the spirit, and one character's general dismissal of God. (Yes, much is a portrayal of the times, now and then, but it's clear that Mrs. Stockett views Christianity as a vehicle of hypocrisy and oppression.)

But what also stood out to me were her spot-on observations about motherhood:

1) Babies like cushy Mamas:

"Babies like fat. Like to bury they face up in you armpit and go to sleep. They like big fat legs, too. That I know."


This is why God gave us hips, my friends. They're pockets of comfort and tenderness for our babies. Notice how men get tired so much more quickly than we do when holding babies? Yes, motherhood often brings a bit more cushion. It's ok. For some of us, it will melt away. For others, it will be a reminder of babies' borne and held and rocked and cuddled.

2) Mama is often the archer and her daughter is the target:

"Mother ate her breakfast early in the dining room, then moved to the relaxing room to do needlepoint or write letters to missionaries in Africa. From her green wing chair, she could see everyone going almost anywhere in the house. It was shocking what she could process about my appearance in the split second it took for me to pass by that door. I used to dash by, feeling like a dartboard, a big red bull's-eye that Mother pinged darts at."


I've been that mother. I can still be that mother.

Maybe having boys first made having a daughter more of a mystery to me. I wasn't prepared for the conflicts and struggles that are often part of the mother/daughter relationship. I wasn't prepared for the pronounced emotional dynamic.

I wasn't prepared for a heart that would quickly pull, not darts, but poisonous arrows from its quiver and aim spot on for my daughter's heart.

Oh, Mamas, we have to be ever aware of this and pray for the Holy Spirit to restrain and remove those anger-laced messengers of hurtful words and opinions that we are all too ready to release, piercing the hearts and souls of our children. 

(One of the most helpful and convicting teaching I've heard on the topic of mothers and daughters is by Nancy Wilson. You can order "Mothers and Daughters" here.)

3) Don't waste your motherhood:

Skeeter, the writer, has a mother who loves appearances. She delights in her daughter's helping out at the Presbyterian church. It looks good. She constantly comments on her daughter's clothing, and her motherly advice focuses on the external. If everything looks good on the outside, she's happy.

Even while close to death, the mother doesn't offer her daughter wisdom, but instead a list she's been compiling of what her daughter should and shouldn't wear.

"Mother pulls the pad of paper from under the covers, tucked in the invisible pocket she's had sewn in every garment, where she keeps antivomiting pills, tissues. Tiny dictatorial lists. Even though she is so weak, I'm surprised by the steadiness of her hand as she writes on the "Do Not Wear" list: 'Gray, shapeless, mannishly tailored pants.' She smiles, satisfied."

There is one exceptionally tender moment between the two, but most of their conversations are limited to profound observations such as this:

"I'm fine. Don't wrinkle your forehead like that, Eugenia. It's not good for your complexion."

It's not that Skeeter's mom doesn't love her. It's more that she stayed in that comfortable place of superficial living that tempts too many of us. No thought of eternity. No thought of the legacy she was leaving her children. 

We fall into the same trap. It's easier to embrace a compliant child, all the while ignoring symptoms of self-righteousness or focus on a pretty outside because we don't want to painfully dig deeper and address issues of the heart. It's easier to pat ourselves on the back because our children behave well in public while we ignore their failure to love one another at home.

Do our children know what matters most to us? Is eternity in focus in the most mundane moments of our day, or do our words and choices betray that there's a part of us that thinks right here and now is all there is?

Cushy Mamas who aim good words at the hearts of their children while making them ever aware of the gospel and living for eternity. Those are lessons worth learning.

With love,

Trisha

A Pink Kind of Five

Our sweet Elisabeth celebrated the big "5" last Monday! In her brief time here, she's survived chips and dip with Daddy, being dressed up by her siblings, breaking a glass door, and munching on razors (wish I could have found the post that detailed that one!), not to mention everyday life in this wonderfully crazy household.

We love Elisabeth's precious dimple and helpful ways. Hearing her say, "I'd be happy to!" is a blessing to our hearts. She loves to rub lotion on my feet at night (though she does like chocolate in return) and help with her baby brother. She's passionate and determined and loves to learn, and we're thankful God chose us to be her family.

This girl is ready to go!

These strawberry cupcakes topped with a strawberry cream cheese icing (fresh strawberries in both) were a hit. This book has been worth the money. I'm not a big fan of cake mixes, but the way the Doctor fixes them up is amazing, and every recipe we've tried has been delicious.

This is the best part.

Pretty in pink

 You can load up the icing on these way more than I did, but when there are so many little hands enjoying these cupcakes, it's best to show restraint in the application. :) The girls had a fun time dropping all of the toppings on the cupcakes. Me...I just love that messy, homemade look.

Wow...one might think we gave her the world, and that's the wonderful thing. For a child, we imagine that big things satisfy, when the truth is they so naturally enjoy the simple things set before them. Homemade cupcakes. Homemade icing. Colorful pens. Piggy bank. Pizza. Writing boards. Breadsticks. Family singing. Family loving. Happy Birthday! God is good!

We love you, Elisabeth! May you grow in the wisdom and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and love Him more and more every day of your life!