"Where are the holy men of God willing to shoulder the full responsibility of manhood, to take the risks and make the sacrifices of courting and winning a wife, marrying her and fathering children in obedience to the command to be fruitful? While the Church has been blessed by men willing to remain single for the sake of the Kingdom (and I do not regard lightly such men who are seriously called), isn't it obvious that God calls most men to marriage?"
~Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart
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It's a good thing to remember, dear Mamas, that the little boy in the highchair, the one just learning to feed himself or walk or put Lego pieces together, will one day be a man, and most likely, a husband. Are we teaching them with this in mind? Do we imagine what kind of husband the fruit of our labors, by God's grace, might design? Matthew Henry reminds us that "every action is seed sown." What seeds are we sowing in our sons' lives to encourage them to one day be godly husbands and fathers?
Are we training our boys to be strong, to do their duties without murmuring and disputing? Are we selfishly coddling them and babying them so that they remain our "babies" even when they're young men? (Mothers seem especially prone to doing this with their last male child.) Do we encourage them to stick with what is known and safe, or do we cheer them on as they try new things and face defeat and discouragement?
Are we creating men who will make excuses at every turn for why they can't get a job done, as we say, "It's ok, son," and finish the job for them? Are we training up cowards who would hide behind a woman or men who will lay down their lives second by second for their wives?
Have we gotten lazy in our discipline so that our sons walk in the flesh without consequence and establish habits that will be their undoing or their family's undoing? What are we teaching them about marriage? Do we complain about our spouses or remind our sons, with much regret, of all we've given up? Or do we model repentance and forgiveness and perseverance and joy?
Are we teaching them to have a vision for marriage and family and such responsibilities, or are we encouraging them to live for Self and pursue dreams that stunt their maturity and leave them shunning commitment?
Is Christ our all in all, or have we taught them that our Christianity is just one option among many, a great crutch to have in times of trouble, perhaps, but surely nothing to live or die for? Are we grounding them in the Word, so that they're not taken captive by every false wind of doctrine, so that they know that love doesn't conquer theological differences in a marriage, that light and darkness cannot dwell together in unity?
The questions go on and on, and there are many good ones to ask. May God keep us focused and give us the grace to mindfully train up sons who will be the "holy men of God" and pursue holy women of God and make holy families of God.
With love,
Trisha
**Yes! We should be just as mindful about training up our daughters to be godly wives, but that's not what I'm addressing here. And yes, Dads play a huge part in training up sons, but I'm speaking to the moms and their influence. And yes, there are exceptions, but exceptions shouldn't determine the norm or keep us from embracing the norm.
