What 18 Years Without Birth Control Looks Like

"Not one particle of dust moves on a well-travelled road, but God raises it, directs its motion, and directs it to the specific place He appointed for it. The strongest wind cannot move it from its appointed place. Man can  be very confident that God exercises the most accurate providence over him and his affairs.

~Ezekiel Hopkins 

My goal isn't to persuade you not to use birth control, nor am I making a judgment about a particular situation or exception (because I'm well aware there is always an extreme situation or exception). I used birth control for the first several years of our marriage, though regrettably so (but that's another story). My goal is to address this foolishness that we can trust God with EVERYTHING except our wombs. And yes, I'm a woman who has battled chronic illness and other complications that some would use as reasons not to have more children. Pregnancy is not typically a walk in the park for me, so please don't assume I haven't walked in hard, faith-testing places. Please remember this before you leave comments.

 Al Mohler's past piece about Christians and birth control is an interesting one. I admire the man and respect his thoughts on many subjects. He's a much needed voice of Scriptural truth in our depraved culture. And yes, in this post, he affirms that children are a blessing and Christians need to see them that way. In general, he offers much wisdom that is not just counter-cultural, but is counter to Christian-culture. He also cautions against using abortifacient forms of birth control. But then he throws in this:

"Fourth, Christian couples are not ordered by Scripture to maximize the largest number of children that could be conceived. Given our general state of health in advanced societies, a couple who marries in their early twenties and has a healthy and regular sex life could well produce over fifteen offspring before the wife passes her early forties. Such families should be rightly honored, but this level of reproduction is certainly not mandated by the Bible."

Fifteen offspring? Wow! That's a bit scary! I can hear newlyweds around the world repeating this caution: "Honey, just imagine if we didn't use birth control. We might end up with 15 children!" 

The truth is, that's not what normally happens, and we should be cautious about assuming that every couple who renounces birth control is going to end up with a specific "level of reproduction."

When a couple is infertile, we ache for them while echoing the truth that God opens and closes the womb, reminding them to TRUST Him.  But for everyone else we encourage them to use "common sense" and not forget the birth control because though God opens and closes the womb, He might just slip up and make a mistake, giving you one too many babies or a baby when you think you're too old or you can't afford it, etc. Why not affirm that children are a gift and God does open and close the womb, and He will bless us with the very number of children His wisdom dictates?

Here's one picture of 18 years of life without birth control.

1995-son

1997-son

2000-daughter

2002-son

2003-2004-two miscarriages

2005-daughter

2007-daughter

2008-miscarriage

2009-daughter

2010-son

2011-miscarriage

2012-God-willing, another son

Let me help you picture it another way:

If some of my friends shared what marriage without birth control looked like for them, you'd see pictures without ANY children, pictures that include just a few children, and so on.

It's good for us to consider why we think the God who sovereignly and wisely controls when even a leaf or a sparrow falls to the ground or where a piece of dust blows in the wind would not just as wisely open and close our wombs. 

With love,

Trisha