"Would You Rather I...."

Parents of large families do best if they develop a certain sturdiness, a self-confidence; it comes in handy for the kids and for the comments....As for the fear of slack-jawed Wal-Mart greeters spotting your crew and counting out loud--are you really going to give them power over your family size?" ~Mary Ostyn, A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family

This article might be blunt, but it truly describes what many Moms of many children (and I don't mean just the Duggar family....Moms with more than two children often hear these comments, too) experience when they walk out the door.  Even more disappointing is that much of the criticism and insensitive comments often come from Christians.  My doctor and my dental hygenist were actually more excited for us about this new blessing than some of our friends.  Have we forgotten that God says children are a blessing?

Face it.  We live in a culture that completely devalues the gift of children.  Just the other day I saw an ad for a food product with a screaming child in center and the words, "You can't return them, so feed them."  Most would look at that and just chuckle, but really, we should find it offensive. 

Sometimes I think it might be helpful to wear a shirt that would cover all the questions....

"Yes, we know how this happens."

"We already own a tv."

"Yes, you counted right...there are 7." (One man stopped in the middle of Costco and counted out very LOUDLY.....one, two, three, etc. until he had everybody's attention.)

"Yes, they're all ours."

"No, please don't bow to me.  I'm not perfect." (One woman bowed to me in Sam's because I had 5 children)

"Yes, our hands our full, and God has really blessed us so much."

"Yes, I actually love being a Mom."

"You're probably right...better me than you."

But, on the other hand, I love being out with all of our children because they are a blessing and the world needs to see that.  We are a witness for the redeeming power of Jesus Christ which is the very reason I've not answered any rude comments with more rudeness in return.  Anything and everything, and I mean anything and everything, in my life that glorifies God is only because of His work in me.  I'm not naturally organized, patient, or selfless.  I'm a sinner saved by His amazing grace.

I know the comments often come from the wonder that a person would actually delight in so many children because our culture doesn't see enough of the beauty of what God does with our sinful, messy lives when we trust and live for Him.  Yet, I've NEVER had a woman approach me and lament because she had that 4th, 5th, or 6th child, but I've had several women sadly say they wished they would have/could have had more children.

So, the next time you see a Mom of Many out with her blessings, try not to let your mouth fall too wide open.  Be discreet about the counting.  Don't ask thoughtless questions.  Don't size her up to see if she deserves to get a word of encouragement from you.

Just smile, and tell her how blessed she is. You'll make her day.

Love,
Queen Mom