When You Might Not Pass This Way Again

I'm 29 weeks today. Every day is a milestone for me, actually, but it's hard to believe that over 6 months ago, we found out God had given us another blessing. It's gone by way too fast.

As a first time Mom, I remember wishing the days of pregnancy away, not really appreciating them. And now, as I'm even more aware this could be the last time I know the joy of a baby's kick inside my womb or having to sleep on my side or making sure the medicine cabinet is stocked with Tums, I just want to walk this road ever so slowly.

Many women with great ease make the choice to close their wombs. They know they're done, and they never look back. Then there are Moms who close their wombs and deal with regret for many years after. There are also Moms who have their wombs closed most unexpectedly or reluctantly, because of medical emergency or husbands who don't want more children.

And then there are Moms who know the wait and wonder game. They don't know what to answer when curious minds want to know if they'll have more children, other than, "Only the LORD knows" or, "I'd love to." They don't know if they should ditch the maternity clothes or give away the baby items or if they'll ever again fall to the floor and weep with joy when those two lines appear. They wonder if they'll launder tiny onesies anymore or again wake up several times in the night to nurse a hungry baby. They wonder if they enjoyed all those gifts as much as they should have.

They do know that there will be a grieving process when their womb bears life no more (as there is for most women, except perhaps those who toss away their fertility and never look back). They know they'll beg for contented hearts. They know that most won't understand, because, after all, you have how many children and shouldn't you be grateful, even if it's one?  More importantly, they know that the LORD's timing is best, even if their hearts have to catch up with what He wills.

I was a woman who thought she wanted no children, and I was even brazen enough to say so. How God has humbled me in these past 17 years. God has shown me, through His giving and taking away, what a precious gift it is to bring a new life into the world. He's reminded me of His fatherly care of me and preservation of my life each time I'm wheeled into that operating room and come out again alive, with a precious soul to train for His glory.

He's shown me motherhood is a gift not attached to qualifications, IQ, income, done to-do lists, house size, or fulfilled dreams. It's not something in our control, though He often lets us think it is. It's a blessing to be received with open hearts and ready hands, knowing His grace extends beyond small incomes and small rooms and all the conditions we want to apply to the blessing of children before we'll define them as a blessing.

For my daughters, I hope that pregnancy, this amazing carrying and nurturing of a life, will never be commonplace to them. I pray they'll not complain about the symptoms God gives us, reminders we have life inside of us. I pray they'll not think themselves less of a mother if they have to have a c-section or give birth in a hospital, but they'll be thankful, too, if God blesses them with a natural delivery, maybe even at home. Most of all, I pray they'll joyfully welcome as many children as God gives them, be it one or ten.

Pregnancy has not been easy for me, especially the delivery part, and I thank God for that. It has taught me to deeply appreciate this gift of carrying life. It has also filled me with compassion for other women who walk a difficult road as they carry a precious baby, as well as the desire to encourage them with the truth that every ache and pain pales in comparison to the joys of motherhood. "You can do this, and God is faithful!" is my mantra.

Though I reflect even more now on whether I'll pass this way again, especially because of my age, the truth is that every pregnant woman might not pass the way of giving life again, whether she's in her first or seventh pregnancy, whether she's 23 or 43. And how hard is the truth that many women never pass this way at all. Childbearing is not to be taken for granted, and God keep us from encouraging our daughters to do so. We shouldn't assume there's always "later" or that having a baby will always come easily to us.

What we should do is treasure this gift of motherhood...the pregnancy, the labor, the pain, the tears, the disappointments, the joys, the victories, for what it is...an incredible display of the mercy and grace of God. Oh for grace upon grace to savor every moment.

With love,
Trisha

***I'm not addressing adoption or the grief of a woman who has never known the joy of having a baby. Those are entirely separate topics and ones I know I'm not qualified to speak on.

Pink, Blonde, and Blue

***It seems some children like the camera. Claire is one of them. I didn't have to coach her on any of these shots. It was just a morning pajama-clad photo shoot. Be still my heart. :)

A Most Beautiful Before and After

Maybe I'm the only woman who would cry over a new roof. Maybe I'm the only woman who would save a scrap of the old one in a Ziploc bag as an Ebenezer. But, I'm happy to say I've done both.

I remember worrying about how we'd ever replace our roof. We'd have to do the work ourselves, for sure, and a metal roof wasn't even a possibility. We'd just have to be happy with shingles again, though they're such a headache in our high winds area.

Then one day, my Beloved went to price metal roofing. The salesman asked if we had checked with our insurance company to cover the cost of replacing our roof. We had never thought of it. Lo and behold, they not only covered some of it, they covered almost the entire cost of a new roof, a new METAL roof!

The workmen started replacing the roof on Friday, and yesterday they finished. I've never seen such a beautiful roof! :) To know that the winds won't be demolishing parts of it and that there won't be any more leaks is such a comfort. To know that we won't have to shudder every time the winds kick up, praying the whole time for God's mercy because we know half the shingles might blow to the next county, is such a relief. These are big things to me, to our family, and we're so grateful to the LORD for His kindness and provision.

Now, here are a couple of the most beautiful before and after pictures you've ever seen...much more so than any tummy tuck or Botox treatment!

Isn't it wonderful? :)

And in just a couple of weeks, the men get the exciting job of painting the whole house. Woohoo! I can't wait!

New roof. New paint. And a new storm door.

I might even be able to squeeze out a few window boxes from my men, too.

With love,
Trisha

P.S. For the curious minds out there, those are swamp coolers sitting atop our roof. That's how many of us in the desert cool our homes. :)

6 Books That Made Me Cry

1) All Things for Good by Thomas Watson~I think this was the first Puritan book I read, and I remember sitting in a parking lot, waiting for a friend to get done with a doctor's appointment, and just weeping over God's goodness. Watson's wise words are still in my head, and his book is one I return to often.

2) Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout~Several people I very much respect recommended this one. Reading it reminded me that we all have different comfort levels regarding questionable content. Honestly, there were times I felt like I needed a good dosing of Lysol after reading certain passages, and this isn't one that I would necessarily recommend. However, I did read it, and it did make me cry. Here are the stories of very broken people, of life without Christ, and it reminded me, at many moments, of stories of real people in my own life, moving me to see their struggles in a different light.  I wept at the hopelessness, the sadness, the groping for something, in the midst of days without Him. And I wept at the wonder of  "But for God's grace, these stories could be mine."

3) Treasury of David by Spurgeon~I bought the entire unabridged set of this, and it was worth every penny. Oh, how the Psalms brought me such comfort last year as one heartache after another came our way, and it was and is a blessing to read Spurgeon's fleshing out of these inspired words.

4) The Mystery of Providence by John Flavel~In God's providence, I didn't understand His providence until much later in life. I spent many years fighting and worrying and manipulating because I was clueless about His sovereign care of me. How gracious is our God to not give us what we deserve, and how gracious is our God to design every detail of our lives for our good. I dare you to read this and not weep.

5)  Bob, Son of Battle by Alfred Ollivant~I loved reading this aloud to all of our children, and yes, there were a few times that Ink had to say, "Mom, just finish the passage." I got choked up more than once and had to put in a request for kleenex. "Quick, someone bring me some tissues or napkins or whatever. It's not pretty watching a pregnant woman sob all over the pages of a book." Books with happy characters and happy endings have their purpose and place, but it is good to see the effects of sin, how it eats away at us and destroys us and everyone around us. Feeding bitterness and revenge exacts a heavy price from our souls.

6) The Call to Wonder by R.C. Sproul, Jr.~There was such tenderness coming from R.C., Jr. in the pages of this book. He writes as a man who has known heartache and has seen God's provision and kindness in the most painful of circumstances. This is the book for those who are longing to rejoice in the most basic of God's gifts but want that rejoicing to be based on what's true in His Word and not sentimental fluff that trumps sound theology. It's a book that reminds us what it's like to have the faith and wonder of a child.

Your turn. What books have you read that moved you to weep, whether over God's goodness or man's hopelessness without Him? Just please don't tell me Twilight or Captain Underpants...

(And for you women who don't weep, then just tell me what books you loved and go back to again and again.)

With love,
Trisha

***When I mention books, please understand that doesn't mean I agree with every jot and tittle on every page. And, of course, God's Word makes me weep...just in case someone is wondering why that one isn't listed. I consider that a "given."

We Are Pens and Swords, but Not the Holy Spirit

No, let me solemnly say that, with all the instruction you may give to your children, you must always be deeply conscious that you are not capable of doing anything in the securing of the child's salvation but that it is God Himself who, from the first to the last, must effect if all. You are simply a pen: God can write with you, but you cannot write anything by yourself. You are a sword: God can slay the child's sin with you, but you cannot slay it of yourself.

Therefore, always be mindful of this, that you must first be taught by God yourself. Then you must ask God to use you to teach, for unless a higher Teacher than you works with you to instruct the child, the child must perish. It is not your instruction that can save the souls of your children; rather it is the blessing of God the Holy Spirit accompanying and blessing your labors.

May God bless and crown your efforts with abundant success! He will surely do so if you are instant in prayer, constant in supplication. Never yet did the earnest teacher or preacher "labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the LORD" (Isaiah 65:23). Often has it been seen that bread cast upon the waters has been found after many days (Ecc. 11:1).
~C.H. Spurgeon, Spiritual Parenting

Father's Day 2012

I love to celebrate, which means we make a big deal of Mother's Day and Father's Day and birthdays and Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc. I explained to our children yesterday, though, that those days of celebration honoring a loved one in our lives mean so much more when you've been honoring that person all along. And every one of those celebrations is an opportunity to give God the glory for His wondrous works.

Last year's Father's Day came right after my Dad died, which was the same date that my Beloved's father had passed away just two years earlier. We were exhausted from the trip and the grief, and no one felt like celebrating.

So, it was pure delight to remember God's kindnesses to us over this past year and  make this day special for my Beloved.

 ~A little writing on our dirty windows. Note to self: clean windows first next year. :)

~Father's Day banner

This was fun, though the rock I chose was a bit too big. Just apply ModPodge to rock and cover with bright tissue paper. When dry, write with paint marker.

 Seeing how the first rock was such a challenge, I decided to go with the natural rock for this one. All the names fit!

 This was a fun way to dress up my Beloved's Guinness.

A man's meal. Barbeque ribs, roasted broccoli, butter with a little bit of mashed potatoes, and southern biscuits. And don't forget the sweet tea, REAL southern sweet tea, for the rest of us.

For dessert, raspberry-applesauce salad, though next time we'll top with whipped cream, instead.

There were a few of these smiles going around, and Mountain Man had a pretty big one when he realized we had gotten him a Lamy's EXTRA FINE fountain pen.

The best moment was when we shared around the table why we're so thankful for our Mountain Man. How often we take for granted the sacrifices our men make for our families. It's good to let them know how much we appreciate their faithfulness, every day of the year.

With love,
Trisha

P.S. Ink, we REALLY missed you!


***The cute banner, drink label, and rock ideas came from Celebrate magazine. I think it's published just for me. :)

Two Looks Good on You

Jedediah, you bring unspeakable joy to our family. You make us smile with your love for books and guns and everything "boy". We delight in how you lavish on us hugs and kisses and sometimes even "I'm sorry" hugs. You warm our hearts with your Amens in church and your recitation of the first three questions of the children's catechism. May you never forget you were made for His glory, dear son. We love you!

I'm How Old?

Some of us might cover our ears when we know another birthday is approaching, but that's not why Cap'n is tuning out the noise. The Roofers arrived yesterday, and while we all praise God for the banging and hammering and lovely sounds of work-in-progress, Cap'n was a bit perplexed by it all. This was his way of coping.

There's no doubt that instead of covering his ears today, we'll find him doing something reckless like eating cake batter, his own cake batter. He'll perhaps be perplexed again by all of the big smiles that greet him at every turn and the irresistible tendency to raise the pitch of our voices as we say, "Happy Birthday, Jedediah. You're two today!" at least a few hundred times.

A reliable source says there might be dinosaur and army men sightings, all of the plastic persuasion, of course.

And as you think of us having the joy of yet another birthday celebration this month, perhaps battling your own desire to go back to the days of "two", would you please remember to pray that God would hold back any rain until Tuesday? Our roof is a bit exposed until Monday. Dry would be nice. Very nice.


Off to bake some cake,
Trisha

Three Things I Love About Twitter

I never thought I'd say I love Twitter. After all, I have a bit of an aversion to social networking. Yes, I blog, but with that, I don't always feel the need to engage in a conversation. Most of you know I have an aversion to Facebook, and I've made asked my children to promise they'll not be on it until I die. (And yes, I've had several friends tell me Twitter is no different than Facebook, but I still think it is. Of course, I've been known to eat my words, more than once.)

I ended up on Twitter when I wanted to join Pinterest (which I found to be a bit overwhelming). Then Ink followed, and then my Beloved, and now we're the Three Twitter Musketeers. Like anything, it has the potential to be a time waster. It's much easier to read what others are tweeting than to mop the floor or finish lesson plans or discipline that stubborn child. It requires, at least for me, a constant watching and guarding of my heart.

But, there are three things I love about Twitter so far:

1) A More Personal View: Several of my favorite bloggers are on Twitter, and it's wonderful to read snippets of everyday life. I've been able to pray for them, laugh with them, and just get to know them better. It's also nice to get a few doses of my Pastor's humor throughout the week and share articles of interest with family members. (Although I have been banned from following one family member on Twitter because she didn't like what I had to say...)

2) Private Messaging: Ink is one of the last 17 year olds on earth who doesn't have a phone. We see no need for it, but when he was going to Mexico, we were wondering how he could communicate with us, especially at the airport. With an old version of an iTouch, he's still able to send us private messages on Twitter. And I'm able to leave those notes wishing him a good morning or letting him know I'm praying God will bless him with sweet sleep.

3) Unexpected Blessings: Whether it's in the form of "I'm praying" or an encouraging word or a package sent across the miles, I'm grateful for the ways God has used others on Twitter to bless me. Just the other day I posted a link to a pink bowl that I loved. Alas, it was only available at IKEA, and we don't have one of those nearby. I mentioned that I'd be extremely grateful if anyone who lived near one wanted to pick me up that pink bowl and send it my way, not thinking anyone would really be able to do so. BUT a sweet gal, Tricia, who has never met me, went to IKEA that very weekend and had the bowl in the mail to me on Monday! I was floored at her kindness and in awe again how the body of Christ is drawn together to do even these kinds of things for each other. :) Thank you, Tricia!

Isn't it perty?

Yes, I'm lovin' Twitter so far for these reasons, but I'm very fickle when it comes to this kind of stuff. Tomorrow my account might be deleted and my blog gone, too. I just never know.

(I do know one of you is going to tell me my Twitter-lovin' reasons are why you  you love Facebook, though.) :)

With love,
Trisha