A Month of Thanksgiving~Oxygen for the Mother

As a new mother, I remember questioning my doctor's advice to take care of myself first if I wanted to take good care of my child. It seemed contrary to my mothering instincts. I was ready to sacrifice anything for this Gift from heaven, even my health.

"Imagine you're on a plane," he said. "The plane is going down, and you and your child need  oxygen masks. You must put yours on first, and then take care of your child. You're no good to him otherwise."

Yes, we're quick to tell mothers to take care of themselves first, but what we mean by that is,"Get a manicure." "Go for a run." "Read a book." "Don't feel guilty. You need to do these things to be a good mother."

However, we're not so eager to remind them to feast on the Word. We consider this too great a sacrifice. Instead, the advice is, "God knows this season. Give yourself a break. "

We tone it down because we don't want to come across as legalistic or unrealistic. We don't want to burden Moms.

I understand.

I'm an expert in mother-guilt, and the last thing I'd want to do is heap more of that on another Mama.

But, what seem like words of kindness when we encourage mothers to do everything else in the world to be a better mother except what is really needful to be a better mother, are really not so kind. We're to speak the truth in love, and truly, we can't be the mothers God has called us to be if we're not consistently feasting on His Word.

A thirty-ish woman said to me at a conference two days ago, "There's no way I can have a daily quiet time.  I have five small children who take everything I've got, and then I work every day from four to midnight."  As I questioned her, I discovered she has a working husband and almost no debts.

She stood there, weepy, overweight, and defeated.  It would mean true sacrifice for her to add time with the Lord to her exhausting days.  But until she does, she may not hear His solutions and so she'll spiral ever farther downward.

Whatever your circumstances--if you'd lived in Old Testament times you would have regularly given God a male animal or bird--whatever you could afford--that had no defects; something you'd humanly want or even "need" for yourself.

~Ann Ortlund

So, it might mean you don't have time for social media today or your favorite television show. It might mean you let go of those house-perfect expectations and live with a bit more dust. It might mean cutting back on other reading or time spent crafting. But you will have chosen what is needful. And in doing so, you'll find God faithful to give you wisdom about the rest of it.

And isn't that what our entire lives are to be....living sacrifices for His glory? As we daily rely on His grace to die to self, we'll discover how He transforms our attitudes and works in us the grace to delight in His law and see time in the Word as a joy instead of a burden or a to-do list item to be checked off.

What starts as a reluctantly-offered sacrifice, choosing to be in His Word instead of letting other things crowd this time out,  is transformed into one of the most precious times of the day. Instead of asking yourself, "How can I make time for this?" you'll find yourself wondering how you ever didn't make time for this. 

You'll be running to offer this sacrifice so you can hear His voice and know His strength and walk in the wisdom and fear of the Lord, and you'll praise Him for the privilege of soaking up His Word each day.

You'll realize that time with Him is oxygen for the mother, and you simply can't live and help your children live, really live, without it.

With love,

Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~When It Seems That No One Reads Your Blog

When I started blogging over 5 years ago, I did it because none of our family live near us. I thought it would be a fun way to share what was going on, in words and pictures.

Corey was my partner in crime, and it was delightful to have him share his wit and wisdom here. And having such a large family with children at different ages and stages meant there was always something to write about.

However, very few of my family members read here anymore. That's just how it is. But, I keep on writing because I like to, and I feel compelled to. I'm greatly blessed to share a bit of God's goodness and know that our own children will have my words here to re-visit once I'm gone.

Yet, numbers are a big thing among bloggers. You're supposed to "build" your following. We talk much of how each person matters, but we lose sight of that truth in the midst of "stats" and "hits." After all, isn't writing only worthwhile if lots of people are reading?

So, we forget the impact of one on one. We forget God's providence over even who reads our blogs. We forget that God's ways are not our ways, as we ask ourselves  "Why bother?" when it seems that no one is reading.

Think about that. "Why bother?" That question reveals much about our hearts. Now if we're writing for fame or to make a living in the blog-world, then that question makes sense. There are moms who bring in a helpful amount of money from their blogging, and so it's important for them to build their "business." But, for most of us, blogging is not a business, which means we ask different questions. We guard against pragmatic blogging.

Our pastor recently announced that we'd still be having a Christmas Eve service, even if only one family is there. He's the kind of man who invests the same amount of study and prayer whether he's preaching to one person or to thirty. You see, our pastor knows that "one" matters.

And "one" matters where you write, too. Today, one lost soul might hear the gospel for the first time because you wrote. Today, a murmurer might be encouraged by God's goodness to you and be reminded of His goodness to her. Today, one struggling Christian might be exhorted to put off that sin and put on that which reflects who they are in Christ. Today, one heavy heart might laugh because you told that funny story or posted that silly picture. Today, one homemaker might decide to invest a bit more time in making a Christ-centered environment for her family. Today, a grieving heart might be uplifted because you reminded her of God's fatherly love and tender care. Today, one theologically-weak sister might be encouraged to know what she believes, to dig deep in the Word, because you were sharing the vast riches of Scripture. (And let's not forget the many ways your own mind and soul are being shaped because you've written.)

Praise God for "one" and the the possibilities and influence that are beyond our imagination, for that "one" will influence "many" around her, and your words just might be one of God's many means of making His gospel known and making His chosen ones more like Jesus.

With love,
Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~Where Are Those New Mercies?

God is an inexhaustible fountain of mercy, the Father of mercies.

~Matthew Henry

I've lived in this desert for over 15 years, and I never tire of watching the sun rise here. Those mornings that find me peeking out the door, waiting for God to finish painting this glorious sky, find me in wonder, too. Can you imagine looking at THIS and walking away without a thought of the One who made it? But every day, lots of us do, and every day, lots of us pass right be those mercies He has given us. Those new mercies for a new day.

What wondrous grace it is that opens our eyes to see our Creator's Hand in everything around us, to call out to Him as our Father because of what Jesus has done for us, to know that He is liberally bestowing His goodness on us, that He is actively doing us good.

My sister is tasting these mercies with a greater appreciation. Praise God she is now home from the hospital! The doctors determined she had a stroke (yes, my same sister whose husband just died a couple of months ago). While she was in the hospital, I spent much of my time in prayer and in tears, and I was so blessed by listening ears and compassionate hearts that encouraged me and prayed for her along the way. We were amazed at God's providence, truly sitting on the edge of our seats, watching it unfold and leave us thankful, so very thankful. How glorious is the truth that He knows our frame and has pity on us and because of His mercies we are not consumed!

After being in a sick room for almost a week, my sister counts it a mercy and a joy to wake up in her own bed, to take a walk outside, to vacuum her rugs and dust her shelves and wash her dishes and hold her son and shop for groceries and sort through her mail and drink a cup of tea and listen to music and read her Bible and ponder anew what Christ has done for us and how much God loves us. And even though she didn't have many earthly comforts while in the hospital, the presence of the Lord could not be taken away or the truth of the Word or the comfort of the Spirit or the prayers of the saints.

"That God's compassions fail not; they do not really fail, no, not even when in anger he seems to have shut up His tender mercies. These rivers of mercy run fully and constantly, but never run dry. No; they are new every morning; every morning we have fresh instances of God's compassion towards us...when our comforts fail, yet God's compassions do not."
~Matthew Henry

With love,
Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~A Time to Be Quiet

No, I haven't been wanting for anything to write when it comes to giving thanks to the Lord! My mind and my heart and my records of His provision are overflowing.

However, my dear sister was recently hospitalized, and I've felt it is good to be quiet for a bit. Prayers for her recovery are greatly appreciated. And may the Lord pour out His grace on you that you would be overwhelmed by His greatness and goodness.

With love,
Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~Daily Blessings For God's People

"You do not praise God, indeed, unless you want others to do so. It is a mark of sincere thankfulness that it desires others to assist it in the expression of its joy. ...Do your utmost to be the means, in God's hands, of bringing others to praise him. Tell them what he has done for you. Tell them of his saving grace. Invite sinners to Christ. Let it be:—

"All your business here below
To say,"Behold the Lamb!"
and in this way you will be setting other tongues a-praising God, so that when your tongue is silent, there shall be others that will take up the strain."
~C. H. Spurgeon

The entire sermon is linked below. It's most encouraging and a powerful reminder of God's goodness!

Daily Blessings for God's People

A Month of Thanksgiving~A Gratitude Grounded in Doctrine Or Not: A Review of Shauna Niequist's Cold Tangerines

I recently finished Shauna Niequist's book Cold Tangerines. I'm a sucker for these kinds of books. Gratitude. Celebrating the everyday. And who can resist that lovely orange cover? It just screams, "Read me!"

So, I expected to love this book. But then I read these words, and I realized that the author and I weren't going to get along too well.

"I'm not a doctrinarian, mostly because for me, doctrine is not the thing that God has used to change my life. I'm a reader and a storyteller, and God chose literature and story and poetry as the languages of my spiritual text."

But, when our lives are not built on sound doctrine, we distort a host of things, including forgiveness and gratitude. Our lives reflect our doctrine, and certainly a gratitude not grounded in sound doctrine is a me-oriented gratitude instead of a God-honoring gratitude. How do we live a life that is poured out for His glory if we have so little understanding of WHO He is and what He has done?

Here are some of the ways Niequist's low regard of doctrine works itself out:

"And I still have to keep letting her off, every day, sometimes several times a day. Not for her sake, but for mine, because I want off the hook. It's hard work, and I don't want to do it, but I keep doing it. I keep letting her off the hook, because when I do, I can breathe again."

"So now, out of desperation, I'm back to prayer. I'm back to prayer, sheepishly, because I couldn't make my life work without it. I pray out of sheer lack of options."

"To borrow a phrase, I don't really care about preaching to the choir. They've got lots of good preaching coming at them already. I really, really care about women like me, like my friends and students who can't find themselves in a really traditional religious environment, even though they love God or at least want to understand more about Him. So being called, essentially, 'not Christian enough' doesn't really bother me. It's a different conversation."

"...I flew to Chicago, because one of my oldest and dearest friends was getting married and asked me to officiate the ceremony."

"Last winter, I did a study of Exodus. Not the kind of Bible study I'm used to, because I usually do the kind where a bunch of friends meet at someone's house or a coffee shop and occasionally we do the actual study but mostly we talk and tell stories and pray at the end."

"One look at a baby's fingers and you just know that those little bundles of flesh and tiny bones are more sacred, more spiritual, than any thought or idea or theology could ever be."

"Because it seems like that's what God is saying to us, over and over. 'What can I do today to remind you again how good this life is?"

I enjoyed much of Niequist's writing, but I can't ignore her disregard for sound doctrine. But, Trisha, you're just being a curmudgeon, you say. No, I'm not. Niequist has an obligation to speak the truth since she claims the name of Christ, and it's because she claims His name that she's held to a greater accountability. There's a flabbiness to Niequist's theology, and it often sounds like she's proud of that.

Does doctrine matter? In the words of my friend, Norma, yes it does.

"Yes. The more you study it, the stronger you foundation will be and the harder will be to fall, although you will fall. You'll have a greater understanding of His love, mercy, grace, patience, goodness. The more you dig deeper into the Word, the more you will love Him and the more you will want to live for Him. Your view of Christ, His sacrifice, His atonement, His life, His resurrection, His priesthood, His sovereignty, His glory, His holiness, my wretched condition without Him,  prayer, mortification of sin, my dependence on Him, the role of the woman in her house, at church, with her children, with other women, all these will come into place. It will be easier to spot lies from truth (no matter how sweet they may appear) because you will know the truth. The truth will be your daily bread, and the lie will quickly taste as food not prepared at home. You will identify it with God's grace."

~Talking About Doctrine

Praise God for thanksgiving that flows from sound doctrine.

With love,

Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~The M Files

"But home conversation needs more than love to give it its full influence. It ought to be enriched by thought. The Saviour's warning against idle words should be remembered. Every wise-hearted parent will seek to train his household to converse on subjects that will yield instruction or tend toward refinement...the whole effect upon the family is elevating and refilling."

~J. R. Miller, Home-Keeping

*****

The M Files. Short for The Miscellany Files. This is my collection of topics and articles to discuss at dinner. I gather them from news sites and blogs, as well as from my current reads, and it's proved a profitable means of redeeming the time and lingering a bit longer around the table.

Here are just a few of my favorite sources for filling my M Files:

Student News Daily
Afterthoughts (Brandy has a great weekly post of links on Sundays)
The Ink Slinger (Ink also posts a Flotsam and Jetsam a couple of times a week)
Desiring God

The sources are endless. Just keep your eyes open.

And if you have just younger children, your M Files might simply include jokes or catechism questions or stories about heroes. Customize the time to the season of your family, and remember to keep it enjoyable. You're making memories around that table of yours, good or bad, so make the best of your captive audience and give them more than just food for their bodies. Feed their hearts, minds, and souls.

With love,
Trisha

A Month of Thanksgiving~A Life of Hearing Sermons

"...we ought to see our relationship to preaching as a lifelong relationship. To be sure, it is good to consider each Sunday how the truth we have heard that day should shape our lives right away, but there is more to it than that. Each of us also ought to be storing up a deep reservoir of biblical convictions over the course of his life. Those convictions may pay off down the road in ways that you never anticipated.

Let us all be reminded of the good counsel that the Westminster Larger Catechism provides about hearing sermons:

Q. 160: What is required of those that hear the word preached?

Answer: It is required of those that hear the word preached, that they attend upon it with diligence, preparation, and prayer; examine what they hear by the scriptures; receive the truth with faith, love, meekness, and readiness of mind, as the word of God; mediate, and confer of it; hide it in their hearts, and bring forth the fruit of it in their lives.

Notice that language, 'hide it in their hearts'. The Christian life is, among other things, from start to finish, a life of hearing sermons, and it is vital that we hold on to the truth we have heard. Who knows what the circumstances will be in which you will have to bring forth the fruit of the things you have stored away?

...No disciple is too young to start hiding the truth in his heart. Maybe when he is twenty-eight--or younger--he will find out that he has cancer. That is not the time to start thinking about the goodness, wisdom, and power of God. Far better for him to have those truths already deeply rooted in his soul, thanks to years of faithful preaching and listening."

~Paul D. Wolfe, My God is True

A Month of Thanksgiving~The Annual Family Photo

Many years ago an acquaintance's husband died. It was sudden, and he was young. One of the wife's biggest regrets was that she had no photos of their whole family. There was a picture of him. And one of him and her. And some of him with the children. But there were no "family" portraits.

For years now, we've made it a practice to trek to a lovely spot in the mountains and take family photos. It's not an easy task with so many of us. Matching outfits have never been in the budget, so we work with what we have and make the best of it. Sometimes the weather isn't ideal, and sometimes it takes twenty or more tries to get everyone looking at the camera at the same time. Sometimes that doesn't happen at all. BUT, every bit of effort expended is worth having pictures of us as a family.

 October  2013

October 2013

And yes, Mountain Man and I always include ourselves in a picture with our children, no matter how much we're tempted to step to the side. We are a family, and that includes Mom and Dad, too.

Praising God today for the gift of family and the photos that capture just a bit of His goodness to us.

"She glances at the photo, and the pilot light of memory flickers in her eyes."

Frank DeFord

With love,

Trisha