The Dense Wife and Mother

A dense wife destroys a situation by the very measures she takes to save it, denying her deepest needs by giving in to her destructive wants. Examples:

~A wife and mother needs a happily thriving home; but may want a career at any cost.

~A wife needs a husband who will be a man, who will lead--not just because she has to obey "another stupid Bible-thingie," but because she really needs it by created design; but she may want to control her husband, to force him to do things her way, no matter what it takes.

~A wife needs to be faithful to her marital covenant and work out her relationship with her husband; but she may want this other man, and thinks that he will meet her needs better than her husband is doing.

~A wife needs to use her tongue to help her husband, to convey God's Word, and not to destroy; but she may want to let her tongue loose cruelly, even though it may tear down her house.

In summary, then, how does she destroy her "house"? She can destroy her husband by betraying him, by degrading and shaming him, by defying him, by withholding her best from him, by unnerving him, by unmanning him, by picking at him until he loses his will to try, until he wants to be anywhere else in the world but with her.

She can destroy her children by neglecting their care in favor of a career, or by indulging and spoiling them (Prov. 29:15--"The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a lad let loose shames his mother" DJP), or by neglecting to teach them the Word by lesson and example.

In these active and passive ways, a dense woman can tear down her house with her own hands.

~Dan Phillips
God's Wisdom in Proverbs, p. 228