Before He Leaves

She rises up 

as morning breaks

She moves among these rooms alone 

Before we wake

And her heart is so full

It overflows

She waters us with love

And the children grow

So many years from now

Long after we are gone

These trees will spread their branches out

And bless the dawn.

~Andrew Peterson, "Planting Trees"

******

I wasn't listening very well when older and wiser Mamas shared how hard the leaving would be. Perhaps as in so many cases, I thought I'd be the exception, or perhaps I simply didn't know how quickly my time would come.

His fingerprints disappeared from our walls a long time ago, and as I write this, I have approximately 63 days left with Ink. He'll start a new chapter of his life, in a different state, with beloved friends of ours. God-willing, he'll return for one last Thanksgiving and then pack up his belongings and move to the place where he'll set up his own first home.

I have a countdown clock on my computer and an ever-growing to-do list. Now, don't think me morbid; these are simply tools to help me redeem the time.

A few of the things to do before he leaves?

1) Bake more fruity snacks--pies, muffins, scones.
2) Purchase fine stationery to write him letters while he's away.
3) Take one last family picture with him.
4) Have him inscribe all of the books he's given me.
5) Send a list of his favorite things to the dear family who will be spoiling  hosting him.
6) Buy a photo album and fill it with pictures of us.
7) Watch as many movies as he wants me to over the next couple of months.
8) Snatch as many hugs as he'll let me over the next couple of months.
9) Make his favorite meals, such as seafood chowder, barbecue ribs, stuffed peppers.
10) Schedule dental cleaning.
11) Focus on any last-minute life skills.
12) Measure his height on the door jamb one last time.
13) Take a picture of him standing next to the tree we planted for him in our front yard.
14) Have his siblings write love notes to him.
15) Make a list of care package items to send him.
16) Take one last family trip together.

Samuel Johnson said, "Value is more frequently raised by scarcity than by use. That which lay neglected when it was common, rises in estimation as its quantity becomes less. We seldom learn the true want of what we have till it is discovered that we can have no more. ... There are few things, not purely evil, of which we can say, without some emotion of uneasiness: This is the last." 

How happy we are for Ink, as God has answered our prayers abundantly, in ways we could not have imagined. The leaving is on good terms and is for the embracing of good things. And yet, my heart thinks much about the "lasts" of these days, and how the leaving of one family member shifts the entire dynamic of our daily living.

As I was making my list, I was deeply grateful that there were some things I didn't need to add. These are the things that God, in his grace, has kept me doing over these past 18 years. I don't have to scramble to teach Ink about God or the Bible or the Gospel or walking in wisdom's way. I don't have to teach him to work out his salvation with fear and trembling or give thanks to God for His mercies or to repent and forgive. No doubt, we're always growing in these areas, and Ink will be challenged and afflicted as the Holy Spirit faithfully makes him more like Jesus, and there are certainly things I wish we could do over as his parents, BUT, the foundation has been laid.

Don't give up, my fellow Mamas. It's so easy to forget about eternity and live only for now. But one day you will reap the beautiful fruit of faithfulness and obedience or the rotten fruit of a life lived unto Self instead of unto Him. And though nothing is impossible with God, and He brings the prodigals home, why not be the best steward this very day and the next and the next, of these precious souls He's given you, praying that when the leaving comes, it comes with joy and thanksgiving.

With love,
Trisha