Happy Birthday, Dear Mama!

Me and my Mama, Christmas 2011

Today is my dear Mama's birthday. It's a bittersweet day, though, as this marks her first birthday without my Dad in over 50 years, as well as the 9 month anniversary of my Dad's Home-going. Thank you in advance for interceding for her. 

I love you, sweet Mama! Oh how I pray God grants us many more years together. May your heart overflow with love for the LORD as you reflect on the many mercies He's poured out on you throughout the years, and may you cherish those special memories you have of Dad, remembering the hope we have in Christ Jesus.

My Favorite Mug Right Now

If I could change anything, the mug would say, "This woman is so thankful to God for this baby that she could throw a party every day."

He's Bigger Than My Jury Duty Summons: Part 1

"...there should be a parallel between 

our supplications and thanksgivings. 

We ought not to leap in prayer, and limp in praise."

~C.H. Spurgeon

I discovered my mistake as soon as I sat down to complete my paperwork. "Return forms to the court within 5 days," said the instructions. In my initial panic at being called for jury duty, I didn't read carefully, and I didn't return those papers in five days. Here I was, 3 days before my jury dates, and the only way the court was going to see that questionnaire was for me to hand deliver it.

Now I'm a color-in-the-lines kind of girl. I was safety guard in school, and I was the teacher's pet. I follow the rules, and I believe there are consequences if I don't. 

It's Saturday night, and I'm supposed to be preparing for Sunday worship, but instead I'm staring at a jury questionnaire and nursing images of a stern, towering court guard booming the words, "This woman didn't mail in her form, Judge. Oh by the way, she's a homeschooler!" Everyone in court bursts out in evil laughter as the judge orders me to be taken away and locked up. My pleas for mercy fall on deaf ears, and I'm dragged to the dungeon.

My Beloved's mind doesn't work that way. Ok. You messed up. Just tell them. What can they do? You're showing up for duty. Don't lose sleep over it.

But I did. Add my major goof up to concerns about serving for three months while pregnant and dealing with Crohn's disease, and I had the perfect anxiety-producing cocktail.

Me. The woman whose life is one BIG Ebenezer. Yet, in this moment the court seemed bigger than my God. Practical atheism, as wise men of long ago have called it. 

Flash forward to Sunday morning, and my Pastor does what he does every week. He leaves us with a challenge to LIVE what we know to be true, and this week's reminder was: God never forgets us. This was just what I needed to hear, provision #1 in an endless string of mercies that left me in awe, once again, at God's attention to every detail. I wish you could have witnessed it with me firsthand.

The mercies are so many you'll need to grab a cup of tea now or just move on. But I have to list every one. It would be ungrateful for me not to. I'm leaping in praise just like I leaped in prayer, and I have to declare His goodness! As John Flavel, the Puritan writer, says, it is my duty to note "all of God's performances of providence" for me.  

"Vocal praise should be rendered to God as well as mental adoration; others see our mercies, let them also hear our thanks."

~Spurgeon

~My Superman took me in advance to find the court and scout out additional parking. And after all of the frustration I caused him with my excessive worrying, he still blessed me with a steak dinner. :)

~God provided a parking place for my big 'ol van while in court. The underground parking garage with tight spaces and little wiggle room just wasn't going to cut it. $5.00 a day and a brief walk fit me just fine.

~My Superman followed me to court that first day (it was an hour away but on his way to work) to make sure all went well.

~While standing outside of court for the first time, slightly nervous and not knowing what to expect, an angel appeared at my side. Not Gabriel in all of his glory, but Corinne, a grandmother with beautiful wrinkles, graying hair, and small spectacles. She came right up to me and took me under her wings. It's as though her only purpose was to get me through that court entrance, settled down, and then leave. She was medically dismissed just an hour after we were checked in. 

~The court administrator didn't wear a pointy black hat and have a big hairy mole on her chin, nor did she announce to everyone that I failed to submit my form in a timely manner. She cheerfully took it without returning a lecture or an embarrassing admonition. "That's ok. The main thing is that you brought it with you." 

~The court-appointed bathroom breaks worked just fine for me, and even though I wasn't eating very much because I was concerned about my Crohn's, I didn't pass out. (there were moments I thought I was going to...)

~I didn't get picked for either trial the first day of jury duty. (You'll see why that's a blessing later.)

~I was assigned to a KIND judge. How compassionate and patient this man was, treating all of the jury members, even the frustrating ones, with respect. Do you want to know how I learned this wasn't always the case? (I love how God reinforces  what He's doing so there's no doubt about His mercy.) I sat next to a juror during break who had a stern and unrelenting judge when it came to granting excusals. Small business owner? Oh well. How about 45 days in jail to really see how your business would be impacted by your absence? A nursing Mom? No problem. Just go pump in the room next door.

The first day wrapped up late that afternoon. I was so relieved to be done. I left the court praising God for His endless mercies, ready to return the next afternoon.

But the following morning brought a severe Crohn's attack, leaving me eager to see how God was going to work all of this out. 

You've surely finished that cup of tea by now, so I'll share the rest of His mercies in part 2.

With love,

Trisha

***this is not an encouragement to try and be excused from jury duty. If I wasn't dealing with an active case of Crohn's, then I would have gladly served. Crohn's complicates everything. :)

Mother Dear, This is What's Happened to Your Brain

I have a quirky attachment to old magazines.  I keep them, naively thinking that there might be some shred of priceless information that I'll one day REALLY need. Even in this overwhelming Information-at-your-fingertips-served-up-in-five-seconds Age, I'm convinced that Google doesn't know it all. (Does anyone else suffer with me?)

I'm facing my disorder, though, albeit not as bluntly as I could. Instead of just gathering all these periodicals and mercilessly tossing them or even holding a bonfire celebrated with s'mores, I torture myself by perusing before destroying.  This is a dangerous practice which seriously curbs my elimination rate.

That said, while poring over a favorite edition of a homeschooling magazine( I know it was a favorite because my yellow highlighter graced the pages many a time), I discovered an answer to the question that every mom asks herself at least once.

"What's happened to my brain?"


This is the question asked when you insist on calling your children the wrong names, even neighbors' names or pet's names. It's the question that creeps up when you absentmindedly leave your baby sitting in the cart as you walk out of the store, just knowing that you've forgotten "something," or when you count how much flour you've measured at least five times before finishing the recipe.

This question tortures the Mama Brain when you discover the milk in the pantry and the eggs in the closet and the potato chips in the fridge and your keys in the freezer.  It's actually the question the children ask when mother offers a piece of candy to the child she just told five minutes ago could have no candy for a year.

But now I know why we do these things. And I'm going to share the secret with you....

"The developing fetus literally sucks essential fats out of the mother's body because these fats are so vital for its brain development...a mother's brain, which is 60% fat, can literally shrink 3% each time she has a child unless she intakes essential fats sufficient for the needs of herself and her baby."
~Dr. Udo Erasmus (I kid you not...I did not fabricate that name!)


While I do indulge in those fatty acids now (they're especially good for Crohn's Disease), I promise I wasn't counting this cost of motherhood when I first saw those double lines. It was enough to remember to take my prenatal vitamins, much less toss in some fish oil, too.

Statistically speaking, I guess close to 24% of my brain might be missing. That's low when you consider Michele Duggar, with her 19 blessings, Susanna Wesley , or Sarah Edwards, who had 11 children.

But, like so many studies, this one lacks a major consideration. It only speaks of brain shrinkage while neglecting heart growth. Because even if Mamas have smaller brains for neglecting their fat intake, there's no doubt Mamas have the biggest hearts ever.

Heart-expansion happens each time you kiss a boo-boo or lose sleep to rub a restless child's back. It happens exponentially when you first see your newborn baby or find out you're pregnant. It increases when you hear "I love you," and "I'm so glad you're my Mommy."

Heart size is magnified by holding tiny hands and kissing tiny feet. It advances with each, "Please forgive me," and every covered offense. It multiplies every time you know the grace of God in the midst of your sin and mistakes and failings. It thrives with each, "Mommy, I have something to confess," and every heartfelt prayer.

Yes, heart-expansion occurs virtually every minute of our Mommy lives. We're transformed from self-absorbed, me-obsessed rookies to sacrificing, grace-dependent heart-tenders, who know very well, that but for God's mercy and grace, we'd have shrinking hearts to add to our shrinking brains.

So, don't fret Mother Dear. Just take those fatty acids, or krill, whichever suits you. Ponder the reliability of scientific knowledge which will tell us in 10 years how wrong it was to take fatty acids now, and most of all, praise and trust God for the preservation of our Mommy Brains and the blessing of Mommy Hearts that are so enlarged they're ready to burst.


With love,
Trisha


***from the archives 

Mac Baby

It's good to finally get some time alone on the Mac. My big brothers are always hogging this awesome portal to the world of technology. V-Tech push-button phones were nice when I was 2 months old, but c'mon, Mac is where it's at.

Ok. I've got to get serious. I don't have much time. Thinking, thinking, thinking. 

Should I write my review of the Steve Jobs' biography or should I tackle paedobaptism vs. credobaptism? A "tell-all" about my Mom's obsession with photography is tempting, but Systematic Theology for Babies is probably a more profitable use of my time. Besides, Mom might cut off the chocolate supply if I write about her.

Oh no! He's discovered me! 

Hey bro! I'm just working on my writing projects. You know what that's like. Don't shut me down. Please don't shut me down. I just now figured out what I'm writing about. Please. Please. I'll tell you where I hid the candy.

No! I've just got to write a few more lines. Every time I get on here, you come marching into the room like you're part of the Mac-Police. Please don't send me back to the V-Tech phonics typewriter. It's just not the same!

Aagh! I can't believe you just did that. You shut the Mac! I didn't even get to save my work. Do you know how long it took me to type the letters S and Y?

Don't you have a heart, brother? I can't open this by myself!

I'm gonna...I'm gonna...well, what am I gonna do? I can't tell Mom. I'm not even supposed to be on here. I can't just cry 'cause he's used to seeing me do that.

Yeah. Well. I'm gonna...

I'm gonna make sure I dump my bowl of spaghetti on my head when you're my Buddy. And, and I'm gonna smear the pancake syrup all over my face and in my hair, too. You'll have fun cleaning those messes up! Yes, you'll regret the day you ever came between me and my Mac, brother. 

Little People have rights, too, you know! I might even lead a Little People's revolt. "Down with V-Tech and up with Mac! Work on a Mac and you'll never go back!"

***

Baby Mac left the scene visibly upset. His foiled attempts to work on the Mac affected his play skills for some time, and he's been heard to cry out the words, "No! Don't take away the Mac!" in his sleep. He still lurks around the dining room table, waiting to get back to the Mac and work on his Systematic Theology for Babies. Meanwhile, he's scribbling his thoughts down in crayon and has been inspired to include a free coloring book with book purchase once his masterpiece is published. There are also rumors that V-Tech has contacted him, begging for his input on a toy computer that will give Mac a run for its money in the baby market.

The Highly Undisciplined Mom

"Coleridge is the supreme tragedy of indiscipline. Never did so great a mind produce to little. He left Cambridge University to join the army; he left the army because he could not rub down a horse; he returned to Oxford and left without a degree. He began a paper called The Watchman, which lived for ten numbers and then died. It has been said of him: 'He lost himself in visions of work to be done, that always remained to be done. Coleridge had every poetic gift but one--the gift of sustained and concentrated effort.' In his head and in his mind he had all kinds of books, as he said, himself, 'completed save for transcription. I am on the even,' he says, 'of sending to the press two octavo volumes.' But the books were never composed outside Coleridge's mind, because he would not face the discipline of sitting down to write them out. No one ever reached any eminence, and no one having reached it ever maintained it, without discipline."
~William Barclay speaking of Samuel Taylor Coleridge


Imagine re-writing this about the highly undisciplined Mom.

"She was the supreme tragedy of indiscipline. Never did so great a mind produce so little. She set up her home and had great plans for organizing everything and planning meals for her family and keeping things tidy. But she found Facebook and blogging more interesting and just couldn't settle down long enough to figure out what to cook for dinner. She bought expensive homeschool curriculum but couldn't stay focused and got tired of planning lessons after a few weeks. She knew it was important for her children to obey, but after correcting them over and over for the same things, she convinced herself it was impossible. She meant to write those letters of encouragement and to bring her neighbor a meal, but tomorrow always seemed a better time to do it. She kept meaning to teach her children about the LORD and tell them about His mighty deeds, to sit down and listen to them and look them in the eye and know them, but those good intentions never moved her mouth or hands, and really, never her heart."

Our goal as Moms isn't to reach a place of eminence, but to be faithful to what God has called us to do. We don't want to be visionaries who made great plans and never saw them through, to be known as the Mom who always said she'd do something but never got around to doing it. We don't want to look at our children as they leave to make homes of their own and wished we created more memories with them, had prayed for them more, spent more time with them in the Word, prepared them better for eternity.

Even if you're supremely organized, you still might battle the temptation to do everything but spend time with your children and discipline them or disciple them. Every day we have to remind ourselves that our time is not our own and that our flesh is naturally drawn to time wasters that leave strong aftertastes of regret.

"Where your priorities are, there your time will be."
~Gordon MacDonald

Here are a few ways to guard against the undisciplined life:

~begin each day in prayer and in the Word

~Pray for the Holy Spirit's power to use your time wisely and do the hard things

~have a framework for the day, if not a schedule

~remember your time is not your own and you may not have tomorrow

~ask God to show you time wasters in your life and give you the discipline to let them go

~do the most dreaded task first

~make a list of things you've been promising to do with your children and then do them (Color with them. Read with them. Take them to the park. Bake cookies with them.)

~Consider what you would regret not having done the most if you were to die tomorrow. Make those things a priority, not out of fear, but out of wisdom.

~make a list of your roles and what you need to accomplish each week in each role (i.e. teacher, accountant, sister, daughter, etc.)

"Remember a long life of steady, consistent, holy labor will produce twice as much fruit as one shortened and destroyed by spasmodic and extravagant exertions; be careful and sparing of your strength when and where exertion is unnecessary."
~William Booth's wife writing to him when he was away on an extended trip


May God pour out His grace on us that we might be steady and consistent holy laborers for His glory.

With love,
Trisha

***all quotes from one of my favorite books, Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald...and no, I don't remember if there's anything "mystical" in it. I do know it's highly practical. :)

Here's the Rub and Almost a Complete Meal

I tried this brown sugar chicken rub last week, and it was delicious! I'm not a big "barbecue" fan, but even I liked this one. However, since it was too cold to grill, I had to cook our chicken on the stove top, so I'm especially looking forward to tasting this one on grilled chicken.

Brown Sugar Rubbed Chicken

2 T. brown sugar
1 T. paprika
1-1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. chili powder
2 tsp. onion powder

Preheat grill to medium high. Combine sugar and spices in a ziploc bag. Add chicken breasts to bag and shake to coat. Spray on both sides with nonstick cooking spray. Grill, turning frequently to avoid burning sugar.

It's rare that I make a meal in which EVERY recipe is a new one, but I did that a couple of weeks ago. Homemade Applesauce. Garlic Cheese Bread. Grilled Honey-Garlic Pork Chops. These three went together very nicely. (I guess you could consider that almost a complete meal. Throw in something green and you're done. :))

Applesauce
from Simply Recipes 

3 to 4 lbs of peeled, cored, and quartered apples, like Golden Delicious, Granny Smith, or Mcintosh
4 strips of lemon peel--use a vegetable peeler to strip 4 lengths
juice of one lemon, about 3-4 T.
3 inches of cinnamon stick
1/4 c. dark brown sugar
up to 1/4 c. of white sugar
1 c. of water
1/2 tsp. salt

1 Put all ingredients into a large pot. Cover. Bring to boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes.

2 Remove from heat. Remove cinnamon sticks and lemon peels. Mash with potato masher.

Ready to serve, either hot or refrigerated. Delicious with vanilla ice cream or vanilla yogurt.

Freezes easily, lasts up to one year in a cold freezer.

This came together quickly. I used light brown sugar instead of dark (simply because that's all I had), and even those children who don't normally eat applesauce enjoyed this one.

Grilled Honey-Garlic Chops

4 center-cut boneless pork chops, 1-1/2 inches thick
1/4 c. lemon juice
1/4 c. honey
2 T. soy sauce
1 T. water
2 cloves garlic, minced

Combine the five marinade ingredients and pour over pork chops in a heavy zip-top bag. Place in a large shallow bowl, in case of leakage, and refrigerate at least 4 hours. Remove chops from marinade and grill over medium-hot coals about 15 minutes or until internal temperature is 150 degrees. Turn once during grilling.

I started cooking these on our George Foreman grill, but the chops were too thick to get done without burning the outsides, so I later transferred the chops to the oven and baked them. This worked perfectly. I also used jarred minced garlic since I didn't have any fresh. Be sure to make your marinade in a bowl first instead of trying to mix it in the bag like I did. :)

Claim Jumper Garlic Cheese Bread
(Top Secret Restaurant Recipes 2)

Evidently Claim Jumper is a restaurant chain only found in the west. I've never heard of it, but this cheese bread was a keeper.

1/2 c. butter
3/4 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 T. grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp. salt
dash ground black pepper
dash paprika
12 slices Texas toast or 1 large french bread loaf, sliced through the middle


Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Combine all ingredients for the spread in a small bowl. Smear generously on one side of each slice or on the face of each half of the French bread loaf. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until cheese begins to brown. (you can see I didn't let ours get brown.)

Happy cooking!

With love,
Trisha

One Sure Thing in the Midst of Expectations and Frustrations

***This is from the archives. In December of 2008, I had a MOHS procedure done on my nose to remove skin cancer. The process truly turned into a nightmare with an unexpected infection, a graft that didn't take, and an unusually long healing period. It was literally months before I didn't have to wear a bandage. What God teaches us is timeless, though, and it's always profitable to revisit past lessons.

****

I had my stitches taken out yesterday. I won't bore you with details, but I'll sum things up by saying that it didn't go as I hoped, expected, wished, prayed, etc. It made me reflect on my medical experiences, from taking a prescribed medication and having the reaction that only less than 1% of the population would ever get, to having major surgery and coping with complications that just aren't typical, as well as a constitution that seems to require much more pain medicine than the average Joe. I sometimes feel like the poster child for Murphy's Law (if anything can go wrong it will), but as a Christian, the reality is that I'm simply the clay being molded by the Potter. 

I asked Mountain Man what lessons he thought I should be learning from repeated struggles with medical procedures and medications not working as they're supposed to, and he reminded me that "It could be worse." Instead of being frustrated that it was painful to have some of the stitches removed, I can be thankful that all of them weren't painful. Instead of being distressed that part of the wound is still open, I can be thankful that some of it closed up. Instead of being weary of this not being over, I can be thankful for the gift of time and for God's purposes in all things. I know....perspective changes everything.

That thought made me wonder (kind of sounds like "If You Give a Mom a Muffin..") why my initial expectations are so easily frustrated to begin with. Why do I expect a certain medication to do a certain thing, or a certain procedure to be easy or difficult, painful or not? It's because I wrap my expectations tightly around everyone else's experiences or advice and hold loosely to the fact that God's plan for me might be very different.

Just because one friend had no complications from surgery doesn't mean I can expect the same. Just because the doctor's say all will go well doesn't mean I can hold that as a promise. The only sure thing in any of it is God's love for me, and His promises abundantly found in His Word. When my eyes are fixed on everyone else's experiences, I can't have them fixed on Christ and His provision and purpose for whatever I'm facing.

There's much comfort in hearing how things have gone for others...things that we're facing ourselves. It doesn't just have to be medical procedures. We want to know if a certain curriculum worked, if a certain parenting approach was successful...we want guarantees ahead of time that if we do A, we'll be certain to get B. Learning from each other is very edifying and beneficial, except when a certain result becomes such the expectation that anything else causes discontent or defeat or discouragement. My life is in the Hands of my Sovereign Lord. It is molded by His will, not by my friend's experience or what everyone else says should happen.

My life is also a loud reminder that God has worked the opposite way as well, often defying medical expectations with His healing and deliverance. I've discounted much advice from medical experts, choosing to wait instead on God's healing. Mercifully, He's done that many times...the unexpected, the welcomed surprise. I didn't question those times. I just eagerly grasped His will for me, certainly not whining because things didn't work out as miserably as everyone said they would.

But my flesh isn't so gracious when things don't go as I hoped, planned, or was told. And so I let go of those expectations, and instead patiently wait for His will to be done, not rushing through what He has planned for me and the wonderful opportunities to grow in my walk with Him, but instead, keeping my eyes fixed on Him, knowing His plan is working for me a "far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory," (2. Cor. 4:17) than I, in my own wisdom, could ever design.

With love,
Trisha

Loving in Our Daily Living

"Look at your own daily life, both at home and abroad, and consider what place the charity of Scripture has in it. What is your temper? What are your ways of behaving toward all around you in your own family? What is your manner of speaking, especially in seasons of vexation and provocation? Where is your good-nature, your courtesy, your patience, your meekness, your gentleness, your forbearance? Where are your practical actions of love in your dealing with others? What do you know of the mind of Him who 'went about doing good,'--who loved all, though, specially, His disciples,--who returned good for evil, and kindness for hatred, and had a heart wide enough to feel for all?"
~J.C Ryle
Practical Religion