Our little church was without a pastor for several years. Because many, perhaps most, of us had not spent much time under a shepherd who knew our names or personally cared for us, I don't think we truly understood what we were missing.
We are a society that rejects authority as we embrace our individuality. We don't view our pastors as shepherds who are leading us and teaching us, and we don't fully embrace the truth that our brothers and sisters in Christ are
family. In fact, many Christians today don't think they need either a pastor or a church family. And I'm amazed at how much I've been affected by these errors, and how I'm having to purge them from my mind and my behavior.
D.A. Carson shares that though Paul suffered much at the hands of unbelievers and endured much simply as a church planter, there is no doubt
"his most anguished moments come to him from closer to home--from Christians behaving in sub-Christian ways, from false brothers and false apostles undermining his work with innuendo and half-truths."
This made me consider the many ways as believers, knowingly and unknowingly, we undermine our very own pastors.
1)
We suspect the worst of them and take everything personally. Perhaps it's something he said, or didn't say, or did, or didn't do. Maybe it's something he changed or didn't change. Assume the best and remember love covers a multitude of sins. Our pastors are sinners who need Jesus just as much as we do. Will we hold them to a standard of perfection?
2)
We are ungrateful. Every time I serve our children a meal, it never fails that one of them says, "Thank you, Mommy, for this food. It's very good." Every week, our pastors are feeding us from the Word of God. Shall we not say thank you? Let your pastor know how much you appreciate his dedication to the LORD, to His Word, and His people.
3)
We forget or refuse to pray for them. Do we think our pastors don't have feet of clay? That they aren't subject to discouragement and temptation? Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give those who shepherd us is the gift of prayer, fervent, consistent, prayer.
4)
We're inattentive and unteachable. Are we diligently listening to the sermon each week, taking notes, if possible, asking questions, too? Do we bristle when the pastor says something we disagree with, and instead of discussing it with him, just dismiss him as not knowing anything? Is all of our blog-surfing and book reading leaving us puffed up and in want of humility?
5)
We give more value to the teaching and sermons of "famous" or "well-known" pastors. We need to guard against actively or passively belittling our pastors by comparing them to other pastors. God didn't give you Piper or Carson or DeYoung as your pastor. They don't even know who you are, and they surely don't know your specific needs. Imagine your frustration as a parent if every time you corrected or taught your child, he said, "But Janie's parents said..."
6)
We keep them busy with tasks that deprive them of time to focus on pastoral duties: I think this is more common in smaller churches. Our own pastor does so many things outside of traditional pastoral responsibilities, and he does every one of them with such a servant's heart. Perhaps the best way to know if your pastor feels like he's serving tables (Acts 6:2) to the neglect of the Word is to ask him.
7)
We gossip about him. Enough said.
8)
We consume his time with controversies. This requires discernment. Just this week, our pastor was explaining the Two Kingdoms controversy to us, and he's given me counsel before about certain matters. Most pastors want us to ask questions, but our pastors aren't the internet police. They're our shepherds, and we don't want to be guilty of keeping them from teaching us the Word by asking them to give their opinion on every new "issue" that pops up in cyberspace each week.
9)
We ask for counsel and then ignore it.
10)
We forget he has a family. Are we actively loving them, praying for them, encouraging them? Do we thank them for the ways they serve and love the body of Christ, for the time they give up with their husband/father so we know the blessing of godly leadership?
11)
We refuse to get along with other members. I will tell you that one of my biggest heartaches as a parent is dealing with the conflicts between my children. It grieves me to the core when they don't get along. God has used this to sharpen my perspective of what a pastor must feel when his flock is fighting and to convict me of those times when I've been stubborn and disagreeable. As far as is possible, we must be at peace with one another. We must actively love one another.
12)
We're half-heartedly committed to the body. Our attendance is sketchy. It doesn't take much to keep us from going to church. We dismiss church membership as unimportant. We refuse to serve.
13)
We're leeches. This is a bit of a summary of many of the above. We suck the life out of our pastors with our demands, our expectations, our ingratitude, our wants and needs. We use him for what we can get out of him, expecting him to give, while having no intention of giving in return...by committing to the body, by being teachable, by praying for him, by loving one another. He is a means to an end.
It is a great privilege to have shepherds who teach us the Word, counsel us in His truths, pray for us, correct us, encourage us. May we give them cause for much joy in this calling, that they count it a delight and not only a sacrifice, that they would say, "I get to, " instead of, "I have to..."
With love,
Trisha