An August Project

During the month of August, we're focusing on memorizing these "one-verse statements of the Gospel." Normally our children memorize passages of Scripture at a time, but this will be a great and very doable project for that busy month when school-planning and summer fun are still going on, and it's a bit harder to stick to a schedule.

We're simply using the verses found here at Desiring God.

When you memorize a “gospel verse,” and keep it warm, you have hidden in your heart a divinely inspired and inerrant expression, in human language, of the very point of the whole Bible and all of history. You carry with you the sword of the Spirit in its strongest alloy. One-sentence encapsulations of the Bible’s central message strengthen our spiritual backbone and solidify our core, rooting us deep down in the bedrock of God’s heart and the nature of the world he made, and sending us into confident combat with unbelief, whether our own or someone’s 
else. “Gospel verses” are invaluable in both evangelism and discipleship.
~David Mathis

What's especially great about doing this in a family with many different ages is that everyone is memorizing the same verses, right down to the littlest ones.

With love,
Trisha

Edison and the Broken Light Bulb

Loving actions can do much more than change your feelings; they can also communicate in unmistakable terms the reality of your forgiveness and your commitment to reconciliation. Thomas Edison apparently understood this principle. When he and his staff were developing the incandescent light bulb, it took hundreds of hours to manufacture a single bulb. One day, after finishing a bulb, he handed it to a young errand boy and asked him to take it upstairs to the testing room. As the boy turned and started up the stairs, he stumbled and fell, and the bulb shattered on the steps. Instead of rebuking the boy, Edison reassured him and then turned to his staff and told them to start working on another bulb. When it was completed several days later, Edison demonstrated the reality of his forgiveness in the most powerful way possible. He walked over to the same boy, handed him the bulb, and said, "Please take this up to the testing room." Imagine how that boy must have felt. He knew that he didn't deserve to be trusted with this responsibility again. Yet, here it was, being offered to him as though nothing had ever happened. Nothing could have restored this boy to the team more clearly, more quickly, or more fully. How much more should those of us who have experienced reconciliation with God be quick to demonstrate our forgiveness with concrete actions.
~Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

Thankful Thursday~Yet Today I Live

"Last night thousands of people entered eternity. Heart monitors flat-lined. Lungs ceased pulling in air. Brains that were once incredibly active went silent.

Yet today I live. Through the night my lungs continued to suck air, and my heart continued to push blood through my body. God gave me yet another day to serve Him, enjoy my family, watch a movie, drink coffee, play football, laugh with friends, and read a good book. I have one more day to prepare for eternity, one more day to store up treasures for that final day."

~Stephen Altrogge, The Greener Grass Conspiracy

******

Ok. So, I won't be using another day to play football or drink coffee, but I will use it to study God's Word and read it to my family, to cook and bake, to discipline little hearts and comfort them, to drink tea and eat chocolate, to look my children in the eyes...so soak up and delight in the "glory of the ordinary." Even in the midst of health and financial concerns, of uncertainty about what seems like so many things, I can rejoice in God's goodness and mercy, in the great wonder that He has redeemed me that I might glorify and enjoy Him forever. Truly, this makes for a beautiful life.

A Case of Reversed Punctuation

"Exposing our misguided expectations is not pessimistic. On the contrary, 

it is a first step in the direction of real, biblical optimism. False hopes add up to so 

much spiritual debris that gets in the way of our seeing what 

God has truly promised. The debris has got to go."

~Paul Wolfe

****

My sister's husband is dying of cancer. As in, hospice is now their friend. And as they all ponder Pete's stepping into eternity, the question that frequently comes up from friends and family is, "But you haven't given up hope, have you?"

Of course, when we know Jesus, we know our hope is in Him, not in temporary things, including our time here. But, what people often want to know when they ask this question is, "You haven't accepted this dying stuff, have you? I mean, God can still do a miracle." We want to tie our longevity to whether or not we believed hard enough, had enough positive thoughts, or drank enough green smoothies.

So, my sister and I discussed this tension--the tension between knowing God can heal while seeing the ugliness of a body wasting away right before our eyes or bad lab reports that shout, "The winner is: Cancer." The tension between knowing nothing is impossible with God, while affirming the truth that we are all dying-- sin's curse is real.

And the truth is that we often doubt God's promises while we declare assuredly things we have no assurance of. Paul Wolfe, in his most wonderful book, My God is True, Lessons Learned Along Cancer's Dark Road, calls this tendency "spiritual punctuation reversal."

"We put exclamation marks after the uncertain things because we have managed to convince ourselves that they will certainly turn out in our favour. Even we who repudiate the sort of health-and-wealth prosperity nonsense peddled by some popular preachers may find that those lies have found a lodging in our own hearts. Even if we would never come out and say it, deep down we may be thinking, 'Surely my loving heavenly Father would never make me suffer disappointment and disaster.' This amounts to putting promises in God's mouth.

Conversely, we put question marks after the promises of the gospel because we struggle to believe that something so wonderful--and so unseen--can really be true. Or if it is true, can it really be worth all this? The ancient lie began with 'Has God really said,' and deep down we are prone to treat even his most precious promises that way."

Is there a place for optimism in the face of devastating life circumstances? Of course! We're all living out stories that include amazing providences. But optimism, Wolfe reminds us, is not the same as gospel certainty, and our hearts must guard against confusing the two.

Because the result of mixing up our questions and our exclamations is a life, Wolfe explains, that looks like this:

"Our picnic will certainly be a smashing success!"
"I will definitely get that job I interviewed for!"
"But will God really abide with me in everything I go through, including death?"
"Is heaven a real place, and am I truly destined to arrive there in the end?"

It's living like this, reversing the certain and uncertain, that truly drains our hope. And this is the temptation of all of us, whether we're facing cancer or not. There are endless questions in our lives to which we must answer, "God only knows." But, praise God, there are so many questions that demand the answer, "God said..."

With love,
Trisha


***I cannot recommend Wolfe's book enough. It is a beautiful declaration of the truth of God's sovereignty, and all will benefit from it, cancer or not. Also, my sister covets your prayers and gave me permission to share her story here. Prayers for family unity. For peace and calm in this midst of this very hard providence. For God's spiritual and financial provision. That Christ would be their treasure and their hope would be firmly planted on His promises. Thank you.

She's A Natural

When You Think You're Not Getting Anything Out of Church

I recall one little old lady at a congregation where I served who was very sweet but had a physical problem which caused her to fall asleep whenever she sat down for any length of time. She was very embarrassed about it, and she did everything possible to stay awake. She did not enjoy coffee but she would drink it on Sunday mornings and do everything she could think of to prevent herself from sleeping. But every time she would fall asleep anyway, and she would always apologize to me afterward and tell me that she believed that the sermon had been a good one, judging from the responses she heard from other people. One day she told me, "I am going to be here every Sunday, because it is important for the young people to see that if I can come, they can come. I want to be here as an example to them. And I hope I don't fall asleep." Most of us might be tempted to laugh at the "example" she set, but in her resolve she showed a deeper understanding of the problem. She was getting very little out of worship for herself but the knowledge that she was obeying the Lord and encouraging her brothers and sisters. She received little for herself, but she gave all that was in her power to give. God blessed her and used her in mighty ways to bless the whole congregation.

The one who avoids church because he does not "get much out of it" has a fundamentally selfish and unChristian attitude. We do not worship merely to fulfill our own needs; we are there for the sake of others and to give thanks and praise to God. He deserves our presence and our hearts, whether or not He is pleased to give us anything, for He certainly is not obliged to do so. Our friends and brothers in Christ need our support in worship whether or not they are able to support us in turn. We give without expecting to receive, but the wonderful truth is that we always receive more than we give, whether we realize it or not.
~Steve Wilkins, Face to Face, Meditations on Friendship and Hospitality

If You Asked Me What I Know About Homeschooling

There's nothing profound in what I've learned about homeschooling over the years. But, often, the obvious can be most life-changing and burden-lifting. Perhaps something here will be an encouragement to newbies and veterans alike, and if nothing else, these are notes to myself. 

First of all, it's a good practice to make a list of what God's teaching you as you teach your children. If you're like I am, there will be plenty of days to remind yourself of the lessons you've already learned because sometimes the truth is in your head while being miles from your heart.

Here we go, in no particular order...

1) Bathe your days in prayer and God's Word, and give Him the glory for everything. Everything.

2) Be encouraged and inspired by other homeschooling Moms, but don't compare and don't covet. Someone will always have a lovelier schoolroom, smarter and more motivated children, more money for more expensive curriculum, be more organized, etc.  When we long to be another Mama, in different circumstances, with different children, we're telling God that He doesn't know what He's doing. This is still a struggle for me, after all of these years, but it's a reminder to keep my eyes fixed on Christ and His provision.

3) Don't separate the teacher and the Mama. A homeschooling mother boasted to me the fact that when she's teaching, her children are not allowed to call her Mom. They must address her as Mrs. ______. She thought it was the greatest idea. I was horrified. Do we make our children call us Nurse or Counselor or Judge when we step into those different roles? The beauty of motherhood is that we get to be all of those things, wrapped up in the loveliest name of Mother. Our roles blend beautifully together, and our relationships with our children should reflect that.

4) When God's given your child a love or gift for something, it will often shine through even if you've not formally taught that subject or skill. My oldest son loves to write, but I've never taught him formal writing. He's a natural, which doesn't mean he doesn't have to learn anything about his craft, but it's a reminder that our children's giftings don't hinge on our ability to teach everything.

5) Include in your teaching something of particular interest to each child. Do you have a child who loves experiments? Then let him do more experiments. Do you have a child who loves horses? Include that love in her daily lessons. We must know our children and not forget to encourage their interests. This is one of the advantages of homeschooling!

6) Be prepared for messes. All day long. Ok, this applies more if you still have Littles at home or at least a child who's very crafty or artistic. Our goal is not a perfect home, but rather a home where learning flourishes. And learning is often messy.

7) Have several brief pick-up times throughout the day. Our family of 11 has FOUR "quick pick-ups" throughout the day. The longest one is right after breakfast and includes the children's other chores. Then we pick up "domains" (the area a child is in charge of keeping clean) after lunch, before dinner, and before bed. These times of putting things back in order will protect your sanity!

8) Sometimes you just have to call it quits. Not quits on homeschooling, but quits on the year or a textbook. You won't always have the opportunity or ability to FINISH everything. Don't beat yourself up. Instead, make sure you're not indulging laziness, and then embrace the gift of a fresh start.

9) Tailor your schedule to fit your life. I've not read of another homeschooling family with a schedule like ours. My Beloved travels over three hours a day back and forth to work. We normally don't eat dinner until around 8:00. Our children don't usually go to bed until 10-10:30 at night. Is this because we're undisciplined or careless? NO. We like to eat dinner together, and we have family worship before bed. I still battle guilt that my children are not awake at 7:00 and starting their school day by 8 or 9. But we're not THAT family, and I'm having to learn to rest in this truth every day. Work out a schedule that reflects the life God has given you, not your neighbor.

10) Remember limitations can be a blessing and protection.  Not being able to afford something or do something reminds us that God gets the glory for everything....not the curriculum or an on-line class or a co-op. Our limitations encourage us to trust God for providing what we need when we need it, and often protect us from losing our vision of why we're homeschooling in the first place. Don't let your goals and dreams and fears of failing choke out the memories of God's faithfulness and provision and your ability to trust Him.

11) Consistency is more powerful than the "perfect" curriculum. Often it's not that we need to keep buying a newer and better product with which to teach a subject. We just need to be consistent in using what we have. Pray for a faithful and diligent heart.

12) Remember the power of osmosis. My eight year old often comes to me reciting the older children's memory work. How does she do this? She hears the older ones working on their passages. This is how our younger children learn a multitude of things. And it's a lovely way to expose them to great art and beautiful music, too. Post lovely art prints around the house and discuss them in passing. Play Chopin or Bach while you're doing lessons or cleaning up. We all know that much of our learning isn't scheduled, but rather happens in the rhythm of everyday living. Isn't it wonderful how God works?

13) Use what you have. As I look to make my purchases for this new school year, there are lots of things I can't afford. But, I have shelves of curriculum and books that I can use. I just need to forget the temptation and glitter of "new" and trust God to bless what I have. Look around you. What you need might be right in front of you.

14) Just because you don't have a skill doesn't mean your children never will. There are lots of people waiting to teach others what they know. I can't crochet, but my 12 year old does so wonderfully because a neighbor graciously comes over to teach her. A former neighbor, who was 88 at the time, taught our Emma how to paint with oils, and other friends have been available to work with her on sewing. This are examples of how God provides in unexpected ways. Ask Him!

15) Discipline is not a waste of time. You've tried to finish the math lesson for the fifth time, and you have another "issue." This child needs to be disciplined, but you just want to get through the lesson, and you're tired of having to stop and start over. DON'T GIVE IN to the temptation to let the discipline go. You'll invest the time now, or you will truly pay the price later. Is not training up our children in the way they should go at the heart of homeschooling? Take the time to correct with love and consistency.

16) The Bible is not a separate subject. While there might be specific times for studying God's Word, His Word should permeate everything we're teaching our children. Don't make it a separate "subject" to be checked off, not influencing every moment of your days.

17) Know thyself. What makes you see red? When you know what triggers your frustration and anger, you can fervently pray about these things and be proactive in showing self-control and wisdom to prevent or minimize your struggles in these areas. Does disorganization drive you crazy? Sibling conflict? Memorize appropriate Scriptures and arm yourself with prayer. Take practical measures to control the externals, but remember that sanctification is in progress for everyone in your home, so expect the battles to come, and beg for the grace to honor Him when they do.

18) Have a watch with a timer. Because you'll need it to time math drills and how fast your child can run. It's great for tracking read aloud time or how long your child actually takes to finish a math lesson. When the timer is right on your wrist, it's much harder to forget that you were timing something in the first place. :)

19) Celebrate! Make a big deal of your child's victories and milestones, big and small. Don't lose the wonder of a child's reading his first story just because you've watched four other children do so. Remember what a big deal it is to learn to jump rope or write your first letter or recite your first poem. Smile. Smile big. Say, "Great job." And sometimes shower blessings upon the Victors.

20) Interruptions are often opportunities. We make our plans, but God directs our steps. Too often, we want to tell Him HOW to direct them, and we get frustrated when His plans don't match ours. Your plans are a framework, the skeleton for your days. But don't hold to them so tightly that you miss the opportunities God sets right before you. It's a balance, for sure, but when your child gets sick or your neighbor's car just broke down, clinging to your "plans" and stewing over the change of them is to craft an idol in your heart. Why is it so hard to learn that life RARELY goes as planned? (And yes, we have to set up boundaries around our school day, for the friend who thinks we're not really doing anything and just wants to talk on the phone for 2 hours, etc. but that's not what I'm addressing here.)

21) Read When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul, Jr. at least once a year. Yes, it's THAT good.

22) Preach the Gospel to yourself and your children every day. There won't ever be a time when you won't need to be reminded or be reminding your children of His salvation and His grace.

If you've made it this far, WOW! I could write more and more, but I'll stop here. Remember that God's grace is sufficient, and He is trustworthy and faithful!! Ask for eyes wide open to notice this TRUTH every day!

May God richly bless you as you tend to the hearts of your children and encourage in them a love for learning and a love for Him!

With love,
Trisha


***this originally written for my Multitude of Mercies blog, edited and updated for today's post

The Deceptive Mathematics of Worldly Thinking

"We must not succumb to the deceptive mathematics of worldly thinking that considers the pouring out of one's life on a hidden few as a scandalous waste of one's potential."
~Kent and Barbara Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Family

Can't We Just Be Done With All This Talk About Modesty? ~A Review of Not Just Rules

God ordains clothes to witness to the glory we have lost, 

and it is added rebellion to throw them off.

~John Piper

*******

It was hard not to stare at them. It wasn't because their skirts were so high, or because their shirts were so low. In fact, they were some of the most modestly dressed young ladies I had seen in a long time.

But, there they were, in the middle of the store, acting like pigs with gold rings in their snouts (Prov. 11:22). Gathered in a semi-circle, they listened to their friend read passages from Fifty Shades of Gray. Of course, the reader, perhaps to ease her conscience, declared to them, "I don't usually read stuff like this."

And yes, I did it. I gave them the look as I covered my little girl's ears and looked to move past them. They realized their indiscretion, not enough to put them book down, but enough to move out of the middle aisle and to a side one. Their giggles were haunting, and yes, this was the perfect confirmation that clothes alone don't define modesty or accurately reflect the heart.

But the fact that this is true doesn't mean that clothes don't define or measure at all. Today's only rule among even many Christian woman regarding modesty is that there should be no rules. And we older women are second-guessing ourselves--maybe we don't have enough grace? Maybe we're just not with it? To address what one wears surely can't be gospel-centered.

So, can't we just dispense with all this talk about modesty and move on to more important things? No. Because clothing matters, even though our culture says it doesn't, the culture that surrounds our children and hungers to mold them into their godless image.

Many affirm that how we dress is a heart issue, and thus, not anyone's business. But the truth that it is a heart issue is the very reason we must diligently address this topic.

"Clothes are not meant to make people think about what is under the clothes. Clothes are meant to direct attention to what is not under them: merciful hands that serve others in the name of Christ, beautiful feet that carry the gospel where it is needed, and the brightness of a face that has beheld the glory of Jesus."

~John Piper

Not Just Rules is a new e-book written by my friend, Bambi Moore. I confess bias in that I do love this woman. She loves the Lord wholeheartedly and carries with her a teachable spirit. Her desire is to glorify Him in all things, and from that desire came this book, a gift to her daughters and a gift to other women struggling with this issue or who simply need encouragement.

Bambi does a great job of covering the heart of the matters of beauty and modesty. If we fail to understand what true beauty is, then we'll always be fighting to claim it in the most immodest of ways, whether it's by wearing suggestive clothing or by clothing ourselves with pride and self-righteousness.

My favorite chapter? Chapter 10, "Read Any Good Books Lately?" Bambi addresses well the issue of "arriving" at modesty. Her claim that we won't ever arrive, as in eliminating the need to examine our wardrobe and our hearts, but will constantly have to battle the temptations of the culture and our own sinfulness, is a good one and very insightful.

I also appreciate Bambi's exhortation to remember we're all at different places in our sanctification. Our calling is to be instruments of God's grace to each other, and  we speak best into the lives of those we love well. If you never speak a kind word to an acquaintance and then suddenly take issue with her about her dress, you're not going to be heard.

My least favorite chapter was Chapter 4, "Imperishable Beauty." This wasn't written by Bambi at all, but was a short story from the Grace Gems archive, which seemed a bit too maudlin for me.  I think Bambi makes her point well enough in her book that this wasn't needed.

Bambi's inclusion of wisdom from Calvin and Ryle and Lloyd-Jones and other older writers are a welcome bonus, as well as the extensive resource index.

Reading this book confirmed that we can have different ideas of modesty while still affirming a common spirit of modesty in our dress and behavior. There were points in which I disagreed with Bambi, like when she writes of her family's caution about women hugging men. I've never considered this an issue, and I think that most hugging done between Christian men and women is not the tight and tempting hugging that Bambi is concerned about. But, I do appreciate her desire to be cautious and not a stumbling block to others in any way.

Not Just Rules is an engaging and thoughtful study of modesty that is great to walk through with our daughters, and it provides much food for discussion. The best thing about it is it's constant focus on the heart and the truth that our thoughts on beauty and dress reflect how we see ourselves in Christ. And I wonder if this is what many Moms miss in teaching their daughters about God-honoring attire, for I can count on one hand the number of young ladies I've watched grow up dressing modestly who have not later surrendered to the fashions of the day at least in some small way. And small compromises usually give way to bigger ones.

Modesty is a divisive issue. It's the one area that we delight in looking like the pagan and will cry "Pharisee" as soon as we're reminded of the command to be set apart, to be in the world , but not of it. We long to strip the issue of modesty of any objectivity and make it completely subjective because God didn't give us a hem length on any page of the Bible.

So, if you already believe that any discussion of standards in this area are legalistic, then this book isn't for you, for you will not hear the heart of the matter, you will not read of gospel or grace, even though they're written all over the pages.

But if you want a basic resource to push you to clarify your own thoughts on modesty, to encourage you to dig deeper into the Word, to stand fast, to discuss with your children why you and your family dress the way you do, then No More Rules will help you do just that.

With love,
Trisha


Bambi's having a big giveaway today at www.nurseryofthenation.com. You can visit there to find out more about purchasing her e-book at an amazing price today.