These First Baby Days

I had forgotten what a mixed bag these postpartum days can be. I'm over the moon in baby love with Elijah and so thankful for God's innumerable mercies. I'm surrounded by so much life and tokens of His goodness and mercy. And then I have my moments in the valley, too, as I think of how different welcoming baby number nine is from earlier blessings.

There are empty places at the table of our welcoming party. My Dad and Ben's Dad aren't here to see this Little Man. My cousin, Michele, who always made such a big deal of our babies, is gone, too. And honestly, by the time you've had this many children, family members and friends often lose interest. The cards are fewer (a casualty of our digital age) and the baby gifts, too. No matter how many children you have, you never tire of seeing another "congratulations" splattered across pink or blue paper or opening another pack of diapers. These are tangible things that say, "We're so glad your baby is here!"

But the silence around this table reminds me how disconnected our own families are. Many members wouldn't be able to tell you how many children we have, and especially not all of their names. How do we get to such a place of being strangers after spending our earliest days together, and how do we keep our own children from suffering the same as they grow older and live their own lives away from one another?

And of course, just like death, life begs you to reevaluate everything you're doing. How am I investing my time? Have I done well by my other children? What really matters and is that what I'm pouring my energy into?

One might say all this thinking is just hormonal, but I think instead it comes with aging and being more aware of how precious life is and how unexpectedly death comes and wanting to have lived each moment in between for God's glory. It's such a tall order. But for His grace...

 Jedediah is comforting Elijah with the news that a more masculine boppy cover is on the way. :)

Jake plays for Elijah.

 Ella could do this all day.

 Elisabeth expresses the joy we all feel in having Elijah with us.