Not only did she have the perfect kitchen, but she also spent time chronicling her life, in great and artistic detail, with pictures and notes. She did adventurous things with her children. Her resources and abilities seemed endless, and she walked in the fear of the Lord.
After reading her blog posts and drinking in her lovely pictures, I concluded this woman must have the perfect life. I stopped subscribing to her blog because I realized how my heart tempted me to indulge in a bit of envy and coveting after reading her posts. Simply put, I was jealous.
This is the key here. I concluded she had a perfect life. My heart tempted me to sin. She never said, "Here I am. Look at my children and my big kitchen and my organized home. I am the perfect woman with the perfect life." I was interpreting her posts through covetous eyes, and that will distort an image every time, leaving me in bondage to my sin instead of free to delight in God's goodness to others.
What About the Pictures?
There's a current trend of thought that says if I'm busy taking pictures, I must not be living life. I should put my camera down and be in the moment and stop causing discontentment in other women by sharing my photos. False assumptions are made about shutterbugs, that we live to impress, that we don't believe an experience has been real unless we have a picture of it, that we stage our lives, making pretty virtual realities to cover real lives that are neglected and in shambles.
I don't believe the motives of most shutterbugs are so shallow and sinister. When I capture pictures of my family, it's because I am in the moment and I value that moment, and my heart wants to share that moment with others and glorify God because of His provision of that moment. It's been said that we write to taste life twice, and I would say that I take pictures to taste life and God's goodness over and over.
When a friend shares her amazing close-ups of God's creation or the flowers her husband gave her for her birthday, I soak in the beauty, and I rejoice in God's goodness. When a friend shares a photo of her handiwork, I marvel at what God made us to do, to create in amazing ways, and I rejoice with her. When a friend shares a photo of her newly organized pantry, I'm inspired and motivated.
We All Have Our Weak Points
So why couldn't I do the same when I'd read this particular blog? Because I didn't know her, and she had many things I longed for and could easily make an idol of--a bigger home, a more organized life.
Just fill in those things that our hearts are fashioning into idols, and we'll discover why our vision is distorted, and we're so cynical about the accomplishments or blessings of others.
It's My Heart
It's not Pinterest or Facebook or pretty blogs or pictures of someone's perfect kitchen that are the problem. It's how my idol-making heart processes them. Too often...
My heart assumes the worst and assigns ill motives to others.
My heart covets.
My heart envies.
My heart fails to rejoice with those who rejoice.
My heart seeks satisfaction in these things instead of in Christ.
Do We Run?
Scripture exhorts us repeatedly to flee from temptation. We're not to play around with it, and see how much we can resist. We're to be on guard and not trust ourselves. It's foolishness to set ourselves in temptation's way as a means to train ourselves in godliness. So, should we run from Pinterest and Facebook and pretty blogs?
Yes and no.
We should be redeeming the time and guarding our hearts. If perusing Pinterest and using Facebook and reading blogs is not a profitable use of our time (and each person must answer that for herself) and we're allowing them to promote and feed sin in our lives, then we pluck out the eye that offends us.
But if we make life lovelier for those around us from the ideas on Pinterest, if we delight in the connections on Facebook, and we're encouraged as we read certain blogs, then we use them for God's glory, not to one-up each another or feed our idols. We remember to start with our own hearts if discontentment creeps in, and thank God for His faithfulness in making us more like Christ by revealing to us our sin.
My Duty
That woman who had the perfect kitchen? Well, I later discovered her life fell apart. Was she a fake? No. She was sharing the beautiful things in her life, with no obligation to me to tell me where the seams were fraying. Perhaps her blog was a means of preserving the lovely in the midst of the painful and ugly.
I'll never know.
What I can know is that I'm responsible for my heart when I visit these places, and I'm responsible to guard it, be kind, full of grace, rejoicing with those who rejoice, and delighting in God's goodness to others. And I'm responsible to know when to walk away, if that's necessary.
My duty is to remember that perfection is often relative (what might be a "perfect" kitchen or home to me won't be for you), and when I unkindly tag someone with that label because I'm green with envy, when I accuse others of making me discontent or unhappy, I'm shifting blame, and I'm revealing more about my own heart than I am about another's on-line presence of pixels and words.
With love,
Trisha
A fine and thoughtful post, Trisha.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Christ's blessings on you and your family./PB
Thank you so very much, Pastor.
DeleteTrisha this is a beautiful post that I can certainly identify with. Remember, anyone can put forth & show the beautiful things in their life, but it takes a much stronger person (much stronger than me) to testify to the brokenness that the world and their choices have given them and how God saved them from themselves.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
I love you, too, Ashleigh!
DeleteThank you for writing this, especially the part about not putting blame on pinterest or facebook. It really gets me when people say "fakebook" or that pinterest is the source of so many people's issues...no, it's not. They're idea's to try or that someone has tried, but they're not going to make your heart whole. Facebook gives us a 5 second peek into someone's life, and maybe all they share are the good points, maybe it's because they are trying to be intentional to not cast their family in a negative light, because as we all know the world has no problem throwing the negative into our face and telling us all the bad.
ReplyDeleteI think most if not all of us are guilty of being envious or jealous of others or something another has, I think it's recognizing this and working to not fall into that trap that Satan is throwing at us, and get into the WORD at that moment, pray, and just ask the Lord to take this sin from our heart. Now for me to remember this!!!
Blessings and thank you for sharing and your honesty!
Thanks for visiting, Christy, and for taking the time to comment. Yes--it's definitely not a one time revelation, but an ongoing battle. Praise God that His grace is sufficient.
DeleteTrisha, I so appreciate the honesty and beauty in your truth-filled words.
ReplyDelete~Jessica
Jessica,
DeleteIt's always good to hear from you. Thank you.
You just released me from a burden of guilt, Trisha. Why did I not see this clearly? So thankful to The Lord and for how He uses you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm thankful for you, so very much!
DeleteYes, and Amen. Thanks, this has been something I have been thinking about recently.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jessalyn. Your encouragement is a blessing!
DeleteYour post demonstrates a wonderful balance of honesty and good discernment- which grows out of success and failure! I found your blog about a month ago. I joyfully introduced my son to your son's blog too. I have been impressed with the maturity of his posts. The way you are using your gifts has blessed me. To God be the glory!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Darlene. Your comment is very humbling and very encouraging. And thank you, too, for your kind words about Corey. Yes--to God be the glory!
DeleteI. Love. You. You are precious and real and it's a blessing to know you! XOXO
ReplyDeleteDitto, my dear. You are a faithful friend.
DeleteI sure do identify. I know I try to post the positive so that people are encouraged and uplifted and I appreciate that from my bloggy friends. But I must admit I often find more soul food in posts like this which make me examine my own heart. You are precious and very thoughtful.
ReplyDeleteOh, Ruby, thank you. {hugs}
DeleteTrisha, I am always encouraged when I visit your place here. Your words are truth seasoned with grace and I am drawn to you because of that. Thank you for your honesty and for exhortation I can do something tangible with!
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful for the beautiful, and I'm glad not to chronicle things I'd rather not remember in full color as well.
Hugs to you dear friend~
Thank you so much! I see you have your heart overflowing with love for a new blessing from the Lord. How wonderful!!
DeleteVery blessed to read your thoughts, sister. Thank you for sharing this blessing.
ReplyDeleteJon,
DeleteWhat an honor to have you visit. We continue to pray for you. Much love from the Poff Clan!
I'm rather late to this, but these are thoughts I've wrestled with for many years. I've been blogging since 2004, and I've run the full gamut of bad attitude, idolatry, and pettiness with regard to online people. I've reached the place where, like you, I definitely see that it's my heart that is the problem. But lately, I've also been convicted about the time investment involved in my online time. I'm so thankful that I didn't have the internet when I had small children, because I have a feeling I would have been discontent and divided. Now, I look at the books I want to read, the creations I wish to make through photos, crocheting, sewing, or even just my husband's favorite dessert, and I realize how I may not have time for these things. Recently, I kept a list of the amount of time I spent checking Facebook or Twitter (I don't peruse Pinterest, nor do I have plans to) and it was rather surprising when I realized what I could have done. For me, it's more than an issue of those places tempting my already idolatrous heart; it's an issue of it tempting my already lazy heart.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post, Trisha. It added more fuel for my thinking!
Excellent point, Kim. I used to keep a time log, and periodically I return to doing that. I often imagine that tasks around my home will take longer than they actually do, and I often underestimate how much time being on the computer consumes. So glad you commented!
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this, Mrs. Poff!
ReplyDelete"Scripture exhorts us repeatedly to flee from temptation. We're not to play around with it, and see how much we can resist. We're to be on guard and not trust ourselves. It's foolishness to set ourselves in temptation's way as a means to train ourselves in godliness."
This part definitely spoke to me strongly and can apply to so many areas of life! Too often I forget to "avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away". Way too often, no matter what the temptation might be. Thank you for the reminder. :)
You are welcome, dear Rebekah. {hugs}
Delete