A Little Bit of Shame Would Be Good

There's an "Intimacy Challenge" making its rounds on the internet. 10 straight days of sex is the goal.

It's being called an "Intimacy Challenge" so it sounds a bit more refined and respectable than that Sexperiment stuff some pastor did some time ago. But really???  I want to know what books you're reading and what great things God is doing in your life. But I don't want to know, nor do I need to know, how often you're having sex. And if you're having problems in this area, talk to your pastor or another 3D someone who can offer you counsel and encouragement.

Can you imagine these conversations around the dinner table?

"Well, son, how are things going with you and your bride?"
"Great, Dad. We're doing that 10 day intimacy challenge. 10 straight days of sex."

Or how about chatting about it in the foyer at church:

"How's your week been, Sally?"
 "Oh, terrific. John and I are having 10 straight days of sex."

Would you not think these conversations a bit out of place? Indiscreet? And yet, we're willing to broadcast such things to an even greater audience on social media.

Go ahead. Call me a prude, but my objection isn't because I think sex is dirty; it's because I know it's not. It is sacred and beautiful and not meant to be set up as a 10 day challenge for all the world to see. And the fact that men are not better keepers of the sacredness of this area of their marriages, seen in the writing of a blog post (which I've chosen not to link here) and in the "liking" on Facebook, and "I'm in!" illustrate how backwards it all is.

Shame is being aware that something is improper or ridiculous or dishonorable, and public challenges like this are exactly that because the marriage bed is SO honorable.

Theodore Dalrymple's thoughts are quite timely: "No one seems to have noticed, however, that a loss of a sense of shame means a loss of privacy; a loss of privacy means a loss of intimacy; and a loss of intimacy means a loss of depth. There is, in fact, no better way to produce shallow and superficial people than to let them live their lives entirely in the open, without concealment of anything."

With love,
Trisha