"We can draw no deadlines for God. He hastens or He delays as He sees fit.
And His timing is all-loving toward His children."
~John Piper
****
I
had mentioned some time ago that sadness has been my second skin.
Well, it's still with me. It's not that there aren't many moments of
joy. There are. Who could live with these nine delightful children and be void of any joy? Even more, who can meditate on what Christ has done, on His amazing redemption of us, and not rejoice? But, that sadness, that darkness, is still hanging
around. Perhaps only those who've experienced this know what I mean.
This morning I was reading again in 1
Corinthians how we're to run this race for the prize. We're to beat
our bodies into submission. Such encouragement this is! Too often Satan whispers that life shouldn't be so hard. How untrue! Every day we struggle. Every day we battle something...worries,
fears, our own besetting sins.
Right
now, I'm simply overwhelmed, by the sadness, by my own flesh, by a host of "little things." I can't focus. I can't even seem to
complete a thought, which is one reason any posts shared here are
quite sporadic, and why my poor children are learning to interpret
"that thingy" quite well. "Clairesy, please get...um...that thingy." Did I mention I'm absent-minded, too? Last night I misplaced my Kindle, and I was sure I had put it in the oven or the freezer. Thankfully, I was wrong.
Everything I do requires
conscious effort and will, akin to having to remind myself how to put one foot in front of the other. At end of the day, I praise God
for every ounce of grace He's given me just to get done what I've
gotten done, as I quietly struggle to squash the thought, "It's still not enough..." But the good news is that there's lots of fight in me. By His grace, my boxing gloves are on, His mercies are new every morning, and He's working every bit of sadness for my good and His glory.
Today I plunged myself into Piper's When
the Darkness Will Not Lift
and came across this gem. Maybe it will encourage you, too. And if
you think of it, I'd be so blessed to have you pray for me.
Give
to the Winds Thy Fears
by
Paul Gerhardt (1656), translated by John Wesley
Give
to the winds thy fears,
Hope
and be undismayed.
God
hears thy sighs and counts thy tears,
God
shall lift up thy head.
Through
waves and clouds and storms,
He
gently clears thy way;
Wait
thou His time; so shall this night
Soon
end in joyous day.
Far,
far above thy thought,
His
counsel shall appear,
When
fully He the work hath wrought,
That
caused thy needless fear.
Leave
to His sovereign sway
To
choose and to command;
So
shalt thou, wondering, own that way,
How
wise, how strong this hand.
With
love,
Trisha