And while my grieving has made me more sensitive to others' grief, more resolved to do unto others as I would want done to me, and I will be the first to say we should bear one another's burdens, God has shown me that even our desire for compassion and comfort from others can be sin when the lack of it disturbs the quiet of our soul.
The truth is that the only One who completely understands my suffering and your suffering is God. Jesus suffered more in those hours on the cross as He bore the wrath we deserved than any of us will suffer in our lifetimes. And yet, unlike our sometimes fleshly responses that make suffering a competition, "My heartache is bigger than your heartache," Jesus looks upon our sorrow with more compassion than an earthly friend could ever offer.
That is true comfort!
If you turned to Psalm 62 in my Bible, you'd find lots of notes and these words underlined, "Truly, my soul waiteth upon God: from Him cometh my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved." Before Michele died, and I had a miscarriage, I wrote the following:
"Only God is my salvation and only in Him should I put my trust, not in my roles as a wife and mother, my family, my friends, my things, my hobbies, my skills or talents. Only Him."
In the past days, I've added, "not in the good words or encouragement of others."
Whenever we're hungering for something other than God Himself, and we're hurt or angry or bitter because our desires are frustrated, it's a timely reminder that God alone is our salvation and only He truly satisfies. He alone comforts our hearts perfectly. He is so good that He often keeps those very desires from being fulfilled that we may realize He is our EVERYTHING.
And because He is our Everything, we don't have to be moved by unmet desires or disappointing friendships or painful silence. We don't have to be bitter or withdraw or throw a tantrum, pick up our toys, and resolve to play elsewhere, with other friends who will surely treat us better.
God has not set us in isolation. We're to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. We're to love one another and bear one another's burdens. But we'll never do that perfectly, and if we look to people or things for our salvation, we'll always be disappointed.
So we praise God for the many ways we can bless and encourage one another's hearts. We praise Him for those He's put in our lives who have rejoiced with us and wept with us.We praise Him we can give one another grace as we learn to love each other better. And we praise God that He is trustworthy and always ready to hear the rejoicings or sorrows of our hearts, most perfectly. (Psalm 62:8)
With love,
***And I praise God for the mercies He's poured out on me through so many of you who have never even met me. Thank you!
What a sweet reflection of Jesus living in you.
ReplyDeleteSuch a good reminder for me too. Unmet needs, which I do seem to find myself having, and funny that you seemed to pinpoint the exact way I react :-/
Thank you for pointing me back to the ONE who can meet ALL my needs.
hugs~ Cinnamon
And thank you Cinnamon for being such an encouragement to my heart. God bless you!
ReplyDeleteSometimes we don't know what to say..sometimes we are afraid we will add to the pain and not relieve it.
ReplyDeleteMy son and daughter-in-law got some hard news today on having a baby. It will be a miracle of God as they start some very long and hard processes to conceive. I didn't know what to say....I texted her back and forth encouraging her in the Lord while crying. I didn't want to say anything wrong.
I reminded her that God was there...to be encouraged...etc., etc.
So precious one...sometimes the silence is because we don't know how to deal with it ourselves.
Know that He does know how to comfort and that you are loved...and I send you hugs through the blog world.
I am hardly ever silent-I am sure there are times people wish I would be, but I would say the times I have been are because I would say or do the wrong thing or just didn't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteIt it so true that God is the only one who can meet all of our needs and knows just what it takes to do that.
I am here for you and I hope that I can encourage you in any way I can even though we live quite a ways away. Praying that tonight your heart is encouraged my sweet friend by not only Jesus and His unfailing love, but by the many people who love and adore you Trisha.
Hugs
Love you
Jill
Oh Trisha, I am so sorry for your grief and I honestly cannot imagine the magnitude. Friend, you are being sanctified right before our eyes. In the midst of your pain, God has been gracious to show you in a deeper way that His grace alone is sufficient to meet your needs. It's encouraging to see you stretch and grow and give praise to Him for the blessings of truth He's poured abundantly over you - even in the midst of all this. You are an example of what it is to "work out your salvation with fear and trembling." I'm so thankful for you. I continue to pray, friend.
ReplyDeleteLove to you,
Tami
I lived in Psalm 62 during some dark days. I thank God with you, Trisha, for the One who is closer than a brother.
ReplyDeleteOh Trisha I am as always blessed and encouraged by your reliance on Him to meet your needs. Your right, He alone is the only one who really can. As mere humans we stumble around wondering what is the right thing to say that will bring comfort and hope. I long to be an encouragement to others who are suffering, and sometimes hesitate because I don't want to say the wrong thing and bring about more suffering or pain. I do pray that you feel the presence of God in this season you are going through, and that He carries you through it all. HUGS to you, Debbie
ReplyDeleteWe love you so much! Thank you for sharing this insight. It was very encouraging. :) You're in my prayers! Love you!!! Sarah
ReplyDeleteOh, every one of you has encouraged me greatly! Please know that. Your kindness has blessed me so much.
ReplyDeleteThis has been a good lesson to remind me to always look to God for all of my needs...He alone truly satisfies.
How thankful I am, though, that He's been kind enough to bless me with each of you, too.
I so understand what you are going
ReplyDeletethrough. When we lost your dad, I was so sure wives I know who have lost their spouse would be my support, but to my utter disappointment, that didn't happen.
When we lost our dear Michele it was no different. It definitely teaches us that we only can depend on Christ who is our peace and understands our broken heart. I love you, dear daughter, and you're in my every thought and prayer.
HUGS,
your mom
Hi Trisha, What a wonderful post. I have been there, my friend. Not only with no response from others but a negative response during a difficult time. It can hurt badly. I am learning through my current trial, not to make an idol out of what others think of me. I think this is related to how others respond to us. Isn't it amazing how we can crave the response/approval of fellow sinners to help our joy when we are already loved and accepted by the Creator of the universe through His Son Jesus? I'm asking God to help make that more real to me every day because my heart can be so dull to this amazing fact! Having said all that, your post reminded me to than the Lord for the blessing of unexpected responses of love and encouragement during this most recent trial. Thanks for the edification.
ReplyDeleteTrisha, how these words resonate with me today. Thank you for sharing them.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that your friends aren't supporting you. When I went through my miscarriage, I didn't have a lot of support either. I wondered if anyone really cared about what I was going through, but you know, it's not just us. A lot of people don't think about what the husband is going through. My husband was hurt and I don't know of anyone that reached out to him. Today, I'm going to make a conscious effort to reach out to the men who may be hurting too. Just a comforting word or an honest how are you feeling is in order.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you daily, Tricia. God is our Great Comforter and will bring you peace. Blessings
Beautiful post, Trisha. So true that we look to other people and things for comfort and are greatly disappointed. This has been a sharp lesson for me in times of grief. Like you, I hope that it makes more sensitive to others. The sad truth is we fall into over and over again because we are weak. But God......
ReplyDelete"Whenever we're hungering for something other than God Himself, and we're hurt or angry or bitter because our desires are frustrated, it's a timely reminder that God alone is our salvation and only He truly satisfies."
ReplyDeleteWhat powerful words. Thank you so much for this post, its what I really needed to hear this morning.
((hugs))
Such profound truths! Your strength and faith during such hard times is so God-glorifying!
ReplyDeleteWe have been praying for you faithfully during family worship each night and will continue to do so. *hugs* Love to you Trisha!
I love you, sister... <3
ReplyDeleteI remember how lonely I felt after my Kali died. I couldn't understand the silence of others. I know now that they were thinking about her and about me, but often just lacked words. But some words are (usually) better than no words.
ReplyDeleteYet still. We're to depend on God, not others. This is a hard road at times. But I know your faith will see you through. You are a blessing and are blessed.
Love you!
Lisa
Sometimes 'complete silence' is full of caring, travailing, and praying. Sometimes silence is a real lack for words...
ReplyDeleteYou are always in my thoughts and prayers!
I agree with Petra, sometimes silence is a lack for words. It is hard to know what is the "right" thing to say when you haven't experienced what they are going through.
ReplyDeleteWell, I will say that it's great to say, "I don't know what to say, but I'm praying for you." Complete silence simply doesn't communicate love and concern.
ReplyDeleteBUT, that wasn't the main point of my post...it was more to remember that God alone is our salvation and I'm so thankful for the way He's shown me that in my trial.
Love and hugs!
Hi Trisha,
ReplyDeleteThis was such an encouragement to me this morning. I love this line "God has shown me that even our desire for compassion and comfort from others can be sin when the lack of it disturbs the quiet of our soul." How true! I have learned the hard way that people will always let us down in one way or the other. It's so true that our Lord can meet all of our needs, and we have to rely on Him.
I have been so guilty of putting everyone else ahead of God and really by doing that placed God's purpose, and pleasing him dead last....like Jesus is some sort of consolation prize and that is so horrible it's hard to even type. Thank you for shining the light of God's love even through trial. God bless you.,
"He is so good that He often keeps those very desires from being fulfilled that we may realize He is our EVERYTHING." I had never viewed my loneliness in such a way, but you are very right, Trisha. Thank you for pointing out in your following comments that silence does not convey love and concern. I have been guilty of silence, not wanting to bring more pain and not cognizant that it only adds by saying nothing. Two lessons in one post for me today.
ReplyDelete