Happy Three Months, Sarge!

Look at how much you've grown, sweet baby! Happy 3 months today!  Your cheeks are so full they jiggle on dirt roads, and you've been sporting that second chin for a while. 

You've already pushed your way out of those teenie-tiny newborn outfits, and the newborn diapers were history weeks ago. You've given me smiles over and over now, and that look you give me when I'm with you...that look! It's a look only of God's making. Your eyes light up, and your heart beats faster. And then my heart beats faster, and I wish I could just freeze that moment and go back to it years from now when I call your name and you look at me, but you're distracted by a million other things.

 "What's wrong. Haven't you ever seen such handsome chins before?"

I know it's been an ordeal finding you a nickname. Who knew it would be such a tug-of-war? Your older brothers affectionately named you "Chuckle Pig," and after some time, that name was quite endearing (and they still call you that). But, I couldn't imagine, nor could your Daddy, calling you "Chuckle Pig" when you are 5. So, Daddy, who has the privilege of bestowing nicknames anyway, chose "Sarge."  He says you look like you're ready to take command. I agree.

I think that no other time in our lives flies by so quickly as when we're watching a baby grow. I'm not a new Mama who thinks these baby days might last forever. I know very well that in the blink of an eye, you'll be a man. Your two older brothers remind me of this truth every day, and when I see those older Moms in the store, the ones with children grown up long ago, I still see that longing look in their eyes, the longing to go back and enjoy the little years again, even for just a moment. Seeing a baby fresh from God when all your babies aren't babies anymore does that to you.

And while I'm delighting in God's goodness in growing you and your siblings, I'm not eager to shoo my babies out of the nest.  I've never said, "I can't wait until ____ leaves.  I can't wait to be DONE." (Because is a parent really ever DONE?)   Instead, I look at boys becoming men and little ladies on their way to womanhood, and I have bits of regret, wishing I would have been a better reflection of Christ. I ponder the grace that has brought me thus far, and it brings me to tears and to my knees. 

But, I'm enjoying what your siblings are becoming, their lives evidences of God's grace. It is the greatest show on earth to see God at work in each one of us, making us all more like Jesus, keeping us in His tender care. Seasons are good, and right now, you're in the baby season, so I'm trying to enjoy it with every fiber of my being while savoring the toddler season, the preschooler season, the young adult season, and everything else in between. I'm praying God will etch these memories deep in my heart so time won't steal them away.

And yes.  I really am a compulsive picture taker, and perhaps the click of the camera is getting a bit old to you.  Maybe it's my way of holding on when I know I really can't hold on, but perhaps it's more my knowing that, as much as I want to remember, I'll forget just what you looked like at these different stages. 

But these pictures I take are just an earthly thing, prone to corruption, while my mothering of you leaves an impression for eternity. I pray that in the way I love you, in the way I teach you, you'll see Jesus, for your mother has such feet of clay and will disappoint you and sin against you and fail you. But He, your Savior, never will. Oh, that He would choose such a vessel to be your mother, clothing me in the righteousness of Christ and refining me ever so patiently.

You're just 3 months, but it seems like you've been with us forever. May God continue to give us the grace to love you well, reminding you every moment that you belong to Him. Because even though we love you so very, very deeply, Jesus, yes precious Jesus, loves you even more.  And I pray that you can never, ever recall a day in your life when you didn't love Him, too.


Love, 
Mommy