Set Your Heart on Doing This

I know nothing more effective for quieting a Christian soul and 

getting contentment than this, setting your heart to work in the duties of the 

immediate circumstances that you are now in, and taking heed of 

your thoughts about other conditions as a mere temptation.

~Jeremiah Burroughs

***all photos by my dear Emma

Mama, Have You Forgotten What Season It Is?

As I finish up planning for our new school year, I have to remind myself of this all over again. Maybe it will be an encouragement for you, too.

*****

I often think of myself as a Mommy-in-the-Middle. Yes, I'm in the middle of lots of stuff, like laughter and chaos, but I'm also the mother of children ranging in ages from 17-2, with a baby on the way. I'm a mother in the middle of several different parenting stages.

I can relate to the Mom who's navigating those unpredictable waters of adolescence, holding on tight during the turbulent days of puberty, watching with wonder the little ones' discoveries, battling self-control during toddler temper tantrums, or smiling as she hears her baby master an endless number of new words a day.

I know, simultaneously, what it is to wrestle with anxiety about your oldest ones' futures, wondering if you honored the LORD with the time you had, while fighting to be steady in training the younger ones to form good habits and obey consistently. I listen to Mumford and Sons and movie soundtracks while hearing Judy Rogers' songs and Patch the Pirate lyrics in my head.

I walk alongside the Mama who's watching her almost-grown children frame their own lives, as well as the Mama who's joyfully buying onesies for her new baby. I weep with the Mama who looks back on years of parenting and sees the grace God poured out on all of her days, while I share the secret worries of the newer Mama who wonders if there's enough grace for this day.

Sometimes the crossing over of these many phases of childhood stretches me thin, but most days its my own unrealistic expectations that weaken me.

While searching Pinterest I came across some wonderful activities for the Littles. I remembered how creative I used to be with the older ones and how detailed their early homeschooling lessons were. But that many years ago, I was the mother of two, not eight. I had less laundry, fewer dishes, less planning, fewer interruptions. It was a different stage of God's plan for my mothering. Yet, Guilt and Discontent started knocking and asking questions, and I found it hard to ignore them.

"Look what a better job you did with your older children. Why aren't you doing those same things now? Your younger ones are being deprived. Your older ones are being deprived. Maybe you've gotten lazy? What you're doing is not enough."

Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time for everything, but I often forget such wisdom includes what I do as a mother. There is a season, for all mothers, when the most reading you'll do will be from books by Mother Goose or Beatrix Potter. There is a season when you'll not tackle new projects but simply maintain order of what you have. There is a season when you'll splurge on a family vacation and a season when you'll squeak by just paying the bills. There's a season when you'll spend most of your time in correction and discipline, and a season in which you delight in the fruit of the Spirit manifested in your children.

And for some of us Mamas, our seasons overlap, and yet, they're still a season in itself.  No matter how much I long to be the same mother for my younger ones that my older ones had, I can't make that happen. It's impossible to create the same childhood for every child. I can't mother like my friends who only have little ones and spend hours on creative learning and crafts, and I can't mother like my friends who only have older children and read books at lightning speed or have more time for hobbies or volunteer work. I can only mother like a mother who has eight children of varying ages with the circumstances and resources God has set before me. Do I believe His provision is enough?

This is the kind of mothering all mothers should be doing, mothering that's mindful of the season God has gifted us. The temptation is to confuse the seasons. When our children are little, we're pursuing things that are best done when they're older. When they're older, we're holding on to what we didn't do when they were little. (Those of us who have younger and older have to fight even harder to balance it all well, and make sure we're not neglecting what is needful for the older ones AND the little ones.)

We exhaust ourselves with expectations that were meant for a season we're no longer in or for a season that hasn't yet arrived. We lose sight of God's providence because we're scrambling to duplicate, as a large family, what a small family has, or as a small family, what a large family does. We sacrifice eternal bounty for keeping up with Mama Jones, whether the keeping up is the number of books we daily read aloud or the material goods or educational opportunities we provide.

And yes, it comes down to contentment. Contentment grows as we embrace the God-ordained boundaries that are fixed to the seasons of our mothering. Contentment flourishes when we focus on His purposes for our days instead of trying to combine a life's worth of seasons into right here right now. Contentment keeps our eyes set on His faithfulness instead of our accomplishments.

Learn from other mothers in different seasons. Make notes of what you want to do when those seasons come. But rest firmly in the truth that God does give us seasons as mothers, and when we walk contentedly in His design for our days, we honor Him well in our mothering, leaving Guilt and Discontent with nothing to say.

(originally posted July 2012)

With love,

Trisha

Exhibit E

Ink's surgery went perfectly well yesterday! Thank you for your prayers!

Here's Exhibit E--for Ebenezer, of course.

 Some information about the Nuss procedure

This wasn't an easy decision to make when we were first confronted with it. There were those who thought we were crazy to take such risks, that we were gambling with Ink's life. 

BUT GOD...I say those words a lot. But God is greater than those risks, and He's greater than my fears and doubts and circumstances. He's sovereign over all of it, and our days are in His hands, not ours. But God tells me to walk by faith and not by sight.

Three years in Ink's body, this steel bar. It's amazing to ponder it all. Really think on it. Meditate upon. Reflect. Consider.

And there was not one complication. No punctured lungs or heart. No infections. 

Oh, how little we consider how God "keeps" us! He keeps us from so many things, and we often pass by them with little thought and scanty wonder. 

So, we beg for the grace to REMEMBER, for much of the sin that we battle is there because we FORGET--forget His salvation, His goodness, His sovereign power, His mercy...I fight this amnesia every day!

What a wonder it is that this bar is part of Ink's story. It's one he'll tell his children, and the story won't start with, "Guess how brave your Daddy was when..." It will begin with, "Let me tell you about our amazing God..."

Declaring God's goodness not only brings God glory. Declaring God's goodness is a way that we love one another. I'm all for privacy, but there are many things we're not to keep to ourselves, like the display of His mercy and goodness and power in our lives. Sometimes these are the means God uses to cast that glimmer of hope into someone else's darkness.

Let me remark that if we praise God ourselves by word and life, we ought to try to bring others to praise him, too. You do not praise God, indeed, unless you want others to do so. It is a mark of sincere thankfulness that it desires others to assist it in the expression of its joy.

~C. H. Spurgeon

Thank you for rejoicing with us!

With love,

Trisha

Facebook One Year Later~What I Love and What I Hate

A little over a year ago, my Mountain Man and I took the plunge and signed up for a Facebook account. Yes, this crusading anti-Facebook Mama had to choke on her words...and as a result of my time there, I wrote a few things about how to behave on Facebook.

Like many, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. It's mostly what you make it, but it's also what other people make it, and sometimes the two get tangled, and things get messy, and I don't like that part.

What I Hate

I hate that most of it really isn't private. There's a nifty sidebar that tells you what every friend you have is doing--how many levels of Candy Crush they've conquered and what posts they liked and what they said. That's really none of my business, and it's frustrating to realize that complete strangers have the potential to see almost everything I post.

I hate that people get testy and let differences interfere with fellowship. As I've mentioned before, Facebook is a medium for expressing our opinions, and often our opinions offend others. With reasonable friends, I know I can discourse with them in a friendly, or even in a heated, way, and we'll still be friends. But, with others, that's not the case. It's easy to be censorious and to take the bait (I've done that!) when we just need to agree to disagree.

I hate that Facebook can be a means of discontentment. Perhaps part of it is knowing what so many people are doing instead of a small circle of friends. The temptation is to be dissatisfied with one's own lot, and when that happens, it's important to take responsibility for our own sin instead of blaming others for "making us" feel dissatisfied.

I hate when people say it's not real. Many have said that none of this social media is "real", which always leaves me wondering why any of us are doing it then in the first place. Of course, it is real. It is a limited reality, though, just as work relationships often are and, sadly, even some church-family connections. Those who interact with us only on Facebook will never get the big picture of our lives, but that doesn't make Facebook an artificial world that happens only in our imaginations.

I hate that it's a time-wasting temptation. It's easier to justify time spent there because Facebook can be quickly checked and statuses easily commented on. But minutes add up to hours and hours add up to days. And our lives are the measure of our days. Are we spending them well? For me, I have to consciously watch my time and guard against social media becoming an easy answer for not dealing with the undesirables of life.

What I Love

I love being able to access the help and knowledge of others. It's amazing what friends know and what friends can do. When Clairesy injured her head in a fall, and I posted a question about getting stitches, a nearby  friend quickly answered my question and was at our home in 10 minutes. Another friend shared a helpful tip about dealing with congestion in infants--something this long-time mother had never heard of, and yet another made a recommendation that helped me survive hard water for a time.

I love the encouragement and prayers and awesome shared quotations and book recommendations.

I love enjoying the big and small moments of delight and victory in others' lives.

I love the conversations that make me think.

I love the surprise connections that God has ordained there. You just never know how God can use even Facebook, and we now have connections with two very special families because of our time spent there.

I love that Facebook can be a mirror that reveals the darkness of our hearts.  Am I petty? Do I always have to have the last word? Do I care about others enough to encourage them and pray for them? Am I envious? Do I struggle to rejoice with others? Do I have self-control? Am I a coward, or am I bold about what I believe? Do I fear God or man? Am I a good steward of my time? Am I addicted to social media?

Will we continue with Facebook? For now, remembering that it's wise to regularly evaluate anything we do, making sure it accurately reflects our priorities and isn't a stumbling block to living a life for God's glory.


With love,
Trisha

Last Night's Moon

I have not yet been able to capture a clear picture of the moon, but last night, Luke got this one! Isn't is amazingly beautiful?

Content by George Herbert

Content

by George Herbert

Peace mutt'ring thoughts, and do not grudge to keep

Within the walls of your own breast:

Who cannot on his own bed sweetly sleep,

Can on another's hardly rest.

Gad not abroad at ev'ry quest and call

Of an untrained hope or passion.

To court each place or fortune that doth fall,

Is wantonness in contemplation.

Mark how the fire in flints doth quiet lie,

Content and warm t' it self alone:

But when it would appear to others' eye,

Without a knock it never shone.

Give me the pliant mind, whose gentle measure

Complies and suits with all estates;

Which can let loose to a crown, and yet with pleasure

Take up within a cloister's gates.

This soul doth span the world, and hang content

From either pole unto the center:

Where in each room of the well-furnisht tent

He lies warm, and without adventure.

The brags of life are but a nine days' wonder;

And after death the fumes that spring

From private bodies, make as big a thunder,

As those which rise from a huge King.

Only thy Chronicle is lost; and yet

Better by worms be all once spent,

Than to have hellish moths still gnaw and fret

Thy name in books, which may not rent:

When all thy deeds, whose brunt thou feel'st alone,

Are chaw'd by others' pens and tongue;

And as their wit is their digestion,

Thy nourisht fame is weak or strong.

Then cease discoursing soul, till thine own ground,

Do not thy self or friends importune.

He that by seeking hath himself once found,

Hath ever found a happy fortune.

***memory work for Term 1 of 2013-14 school year

Anatomy of a Large Family's Read Aloud Time

Pick a time.

Announce it to everyone.

Begin thirty minutes late because  you got distracted washing the dishes and putting another load of laundry in and dressing your daughter's baby in doll clothes.

Let everyone gather their coloring pages, pencils, or Legos to use while listening to the reading.

Begin.

Hear toddler cry for juice.  Ask her buddy to please get her some.

Begin again.

Read for about 15 minutes.  Then, have daughter tell you baby needs a diaper change.

Tell everyone you'll be right back. 

Change diaper.  Watch baby boy pee all over comforter unexpectedly (really, Mama-to-quite-a-few-boys, you should expect that...)  Strip bed and put comforter in the wash.

Tell everyone to settle down.

Begin again.

Admonish two children for fighting.  Tell them to stop provoking one another.  "Keep your hands to yourself."   "Do unto others as you'd want done to you."

Ask another child, "Are you listening?"

Try again.

Hear howling scream from one son.  "What happened?"  Mediate.  Discipline.  Sigh and wonder how long you've actually been READING.

Feel toddler girl lay her head on your lap.  Hug her back.

Look for your place again.

Start reading.

Realize 3 year old is missing.  "Where's _________?"  Send her buddy to look for her.

Start again.

Hear everyone laugh at the passage or make commentary on the author's worldview.  Follow rabbit trails.  Calm everyone down, and get back to the line you were on.

Notice toddler has a permanent marker.  "Where did she get that?"  "Get it from her quick!"

Hear phone ring.  It's Daddy.  He'll be home in about an hour and a half.  Think of dinner and how much time you need to get it done.  Remember the clothes wrinkling in the dryer. 

Find your spot, and try again.

Smile as you notice little daughter trying to help her sister with a toy.

Read for a bit more.

Exhort another child to use his words for building up, not tearing down.

Fight discouragement as you tell yourself, "Why bother?"

Remind yourself that great things are done little by little, even with an interruption here and an interruption there. 

Laugh at yourself.  Treasure the blessing of so many children around you who really are enjoying the book you're reading. 

Remember that an hour of uninterrupted read aloud time with total silence is very overrated.  Would I really want that? (Well....move to the next thought.)

Remember where you need to discipline more.  Remember how you need to lighten up.

Remember not to grow weary in doing good.  And this time together, interruptions, frustrations, and all, is very GOOD.

End with a big smile on your face.  Close the book, and try again tomorrow. 

Thank the LORD that you're such a rich woman.

The End. :)

***originally posted at my A Multitude of Mercies blog

Real Men of Steel

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.

~1 Corinthians 16:13

*****

Almost three years ago, Ink was under those bright operating-room lights and the influence of anesthesia and a scalpel-wielding surgeon. A steel bar was implanted in his chest, relieving the pressure that his rib cage was putting on his heart. It was an amazing procedure, so efficiently done, that unless you knew he had a bar in his chest, you'd never guess it to be true.

On a scale of 1-10, his pain was an 11, for quite some time. Immediately, his asthma symptoms ceased, though, and after a few months, he adjusted so well to the bar that it seemed to become part of him, instead of an intruding foreign object.

God has kept Ink in amazing ways these past years. Physically, there haven't been any complications. Not one. Isn't it incredible? Isn't it a wonder? To be walking around with a metal bar in your chest and to be kept from harm in ways you aren't even aware of?

Yes, God has been merciful, and the bar has done its job well.

Has Ink known...

Superhuman strength? No.

The ability to fly? No. (Except on an airplane after making it through the metal detector.)

Extrasensory and vision powers? No.

Man of steel jokes? Yes.

Football? Yes. 

Push-ups and pull-ups? Yes.

Even Rugby? Yes.

Sanctification? Yes.

In less than two weeks, our dear Ink will have surgery to remove that steel bar. We'll have to cut out the man of steel jokes, and Ink and push-ups will continue to be the best of friends, but Ink's lasting strengths, the strengths of godly men, aren't dependent on surgeons or medical advancements or workout programs.

They can't be bought, surgically implanted, or surgically removed.

They're the work of the Spirit.

1) Contented: What an example Ink has been to us in having a contented spirit in the midst of uncertain and painful circumstances. Not once has he said, "Why me?" or murmured against God (at least not out loud). It's a grace that has left me in wonder, especially as I battle discontentment in the midst of lost socks and dirty dishes. Strong men rest contentedly under His providential hand, especially when it leads them through the fire.

2) Grounded in the Word: Strong men stand on This--in a world that continues to say, and among professing Christians who continue to say, "Did God really say?"

3) World-changers: Superman might save distressed cats from burning buildings, but we watch Ink change the world one sentence at a time. And this is what strong men do--use their gifts for God's glory.

4) Grateful: Guys aren't making 1000-gifts lists on flowery papers. They tend to show their thankfulness in everyday, ordinary ways. Doing their duties, their manly duties. Saying "thank you" for dinner. Keeping their word to their hurt. Being good stewards of God's blessings. Worshipping. Leading. Sacrificing. Honoring.

5) Self-aware: Not the self-awareness that just makes one more self-ish, that makes life all about you, but rather the self-awareness that leads to repentance and dependence and makes everything all about Him. Strong men know they deserve the wrath of God but received His mercy and grace instead. They know they can't trust themselves, but must lean hard on their Savior, every moment of every day. To use my pastor's words, they know they're "black-hearted sinners."

Strong men--godly men-- are in our midst. Praise God for the real thing!

And did I ask the doctor for the steel bar? You know, for an Ebenezer?

Of course!

With love,
Trisha



***Ink's surgery is Monday, August 26th. Prayers, please, for steady surgeon's hands, no complications, and a quick recovery. Thank you very much!

Blessed is the Mama

Blessed is the Mama who remembers well that there are some things a baby must do for himself. 

And just to be clear, Sarge was crying FOR my spaghetti, not because of it. :)