Our Big Rocks

No, this isn't a post about landscaping, but I'm sure most of you have heard the analogy of fitting big and little rocks in a jar. If you put the big rocks in first, you'll have room for the little ones. However, putting the little ones in first leaves no room for the big rocks. The big and little rocks represent those things we have to do in our lives. How will we fit it all in? How do we make sure the "tyranny of the urgent" doesn't fill our jars with the little rocks, squeezing out those essential big rocks?

Structuring our day has consistently been a challenge for me, but I've discovered that I'm much more at peace with what we accomplish each day if I've thoughtfully considered what the "big rocks" are, and God has been faithful to show me what He considers important for our family. ("If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him." James 1:5) Our "big rocks" set the foundation for our day and help us to be wise stewards of our time. Here are the tasks that are current priorities for us.

~Independent Bible Reading/Quiet Time with the LORD: I have this time before the children get up, and this is the first thing the children do when they awake. Scribe, Little Big Man, Whistler, and Reaches Up started reading through the Bible at the start of 2008. It became a bit challenging for Reaches Up to continue (though he was doing a great job!), so I started having him read to Boo from one of our story Bibles. He's just finished the book, so he and Boo are listening to Bible tapes in the morning. After reading, everyone is supposed to review his/her memory work and then pray. Does this always happen perfectly? No, but our goal here is to establish this as a habit, a discipline that stays with them all of their lives. Being in the Word doesn't just happen. We often have to make ourselves do it, and just because it requires discipline doesn't make it less valuable or profitable. The children, especially, will learn the value of this time more and more as they grow in age and grow in grace. For me, I'm completely useless as a Mom and wife if I'm not in the Word, and sadly, this is not a discipline I cultivated in my early years. The habit of personal time in the Word is the essential of essentials.

~Chore Packs: You might be wondering why this would be an essential, a "big rock." It's just cleaning, after all. However, as Wendell Berry explains, "Rest requires order." In our family, none of us can function well when there are many messes and disorder. (If all of us left only 3 items laying around, you still have 24 things out of place.) This usually only takes about an hour in the morning, and we're all blessed by having at least the basics done. (and that's all it is--the basics) The chores also provide training in so many areas...thoroughness, working heartily as unto the LORD, initiative, diligence, and the list goes on and on. There is much discipleship that goes on during this time, as throughout the day.

~Morning Time: I'll post more about this separately because it covers so many different things, but this is essential for us because this is when we study God's Word together each day and discuss many other topics as a group. It's my favorite time with the children and definitely a "big rock."

~Lessons and Read Aloud Time: This is a "big rock" for the obvious reasons but also because it is one of those areas that can easily get overshadowed by all the little tasks we need to do each day.

~Family Worship: This happens in the evening, though with Mountain Man's work schedule, we're not as consistent as we'd like to be. This is essential, though, as we spend time together as a family worshipping the LORD with hymns, studying His Word, and praying together. I truly can't imagine family life without it.

On the weekends, there are other things that become the "big rocks," such as meal planning and home projects. In different seasons of life, the priorities change as well. The important aspect of mapping out our "big rocks" and "little rocks" is listening to the LORD and being in His Word. If Scripture tells us to love God with every fiber of our being, our heart, soul, mind, and strength, but I'm not even in the Word daily, how will I grow in wisdom and grace and love Him as I should? So, as a Christian, everyone should have personal Bible study and time with the Lord as a big rock. From there on, it's a matter of seeking God's will for our families. Here are some things I considered as I fleshed out the essentials of our day.

1) Continuously pray for God's direction. What are His goals for our family? How will we accomplish these? Do our activities reflect what is important in His kingdom?

2) Man makes his plans, but God directs His steps. My "big rocks" are never more important than God's designs for my day. They are not set in stone. If I need to minister to the heart of a family member in a special way, or help a friend in need, I'm misguided if I tightly hold on to one of my "big rocks," refusing to heed the direction of the Holy Spirit. I need to be sensitive to any changes God would make in my plans.

3) Without careful thought to daily essentials, I'm without clear direction, flitting from one task to another and never feeling like I accomplished much. I've mismanaged minutes that I'll never see again, and I've failed to "number my days."

4) Amazingly, having the "big rocks" in place, provides more time to fill my jar with the "pebbles." I'm more efficient, and I'm more at peace. It often defies understanding to let the little things go and focus on the "big rocks" first, but God honors those who honor him, and we honor God with our time when we seek His wisdom for what should be the priorities in our daily activities.

5) Satan wants me to reverse priorities. If he can get me to fill that jar with the little rocks first, he'll soon be the victor in many battles. Even worse, if he can convince me that everything else is more important than training our children up in the nurture and admonition of the LORD, he is effectively destroying our family one moment at a time. "Hmm, you'll really need to get that laundry going (or whatever other tempting task he dangles in front of me)...you'll be able to study His Word later." "You don't have time to discipline her right now...you have to get on to the next "big rock." "You can really listen to what he has to say later...taking the time for a heartfelt conversation is going to mess up your whole routine." Guilty as charged. I've fallen for this many times and still do, and the consequences are significant.

Filling that daily jar of time with the essentials first is a constant battle. But knowing our "big rocks" leaves us with so many fewer regrets because the "tyranny of the urgent" loses it's power over us, and we're then able to be more intentional about using our time to the glory of God.

"So, teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Psalm 90:12

"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil." Eph. 5:15, 16

Love,

Queen Mom