Once There Was a Brat

As I looked at this picture of my Mom, taken when she was visiting us, I remembered what a little terror I was when I was a child. Bratty. Check. Selfish. Check. Impulsive. Check.

I remembered my Dad's comment when I was planning my wedding, that he didn't know how I'd be a wife to someone. I couldn't even cook rice, he said. And this was true.

As a newlywed, who had already heard the predictions from fellow church members that my marriage wouldn't last, I wasn't a Proverbs 31 woman by any means. My poor husband didn't know what he'd come home to find on some days. Would I be calling the airlines again, pricing a one way ticket home? Or would I have a lovely dinner waiting?

Truly. The world revolved around me. Yes. I belonged to Jesus, but I hadn't heard much about that "dying to self" stuff. If you were a betting person, you might not have bet that I'd be who I am today, overwhelmed by God's grace and humbled by His discipline, and hungering, in the midst of pain and disappointment, to be more like Christ and have His will be mine, yet knowing how far I am from that. 

Those changes that He works in us happen, most often, gradually. We look back over the past 20 years, and we're amazed at what HE'S DONE. Not us. Him.

How can we not say that it's ALL GRACE?

It's fitting to share again what I posted at my Multitude of Mercies blog some time ago. 

Grace doth not lie in the heart like a stone in the earth, but 

as seed which will spring up,--"first the blade, then the ear, then 

the full-grown corn in the ear."

~Puritan Gems

*****

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She hated being away from her Mama, and she was good at throwing temper tantrums. She was often impulsive and the bi-weekly trips to the grocery store usually ended with her getting a spanking in the parking lot.

Now there is a woman.  She still hates being away from her Mama, but thankfully, her temper tantrums have mostly disappeared, though she still battles the ones that go on in her heart.  She doesn't get spankings in parking lots from her Dad anymore, but her Heavenly Father continues to discipline her, often most painfully, to make her more like Christ and to bring Him glory.

Once upon a time there was a little girl.  She rarely kept her room clean, and she'd get mad when her Mom would leave her a list of house keeping things to do after school.  She didn't know how to do much in the kitchen, and when she walked down the aisle to get married, she couldn't even cook rice.

Now there is a woman.  With lots of helping hands, her home is picked up much of the time, but she still battles disorganization.  She loves making her home an inviting place to be, and she delights in trying new recipes and pleasing her family with their favorite meals.

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She wasted lots of time reading twaddle, especially teenage romances in the summer.  She watched television quite a bit, including soap operas.  She failed to redeem the time over and over.

Now there is a woman. She loves to read good books, especially about theology.  Her favorite authors are the Puritans.  She enjoys the Classics and watching movies with her family. Living intentionally is her passion, and she strives to do it daily, though she fails over and over.

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She wanted to be perfect. A "B" on her report card would send her into a deep depression. She craved pleasing others. Performance was paramount and the measure of her worth.

Now there is a woman. She's learned that nothing is ever perfect.  She loves to please others, but she knows Who she must please above all. She doesn't seek self-esteem but longs instead for a servant's heart.  She reminds herself continuously that she's been bought with a price, and she's not her own.  She weeps over His mercy in redeeming her, and she's in awe to be a guest at His table.

Once upon a time there was a young girl.  When she got married there were many who whispered that the relationship would never last.  She was immature and selfish and made almost every decision based on her emotions. Life was all about her.

Now there is a woman.  She's still married to that same man, and she loves him more and more every day.  She's learned that a soft answer turns away wrath and that grace and forgiveness keep a marriage going.  She's learned that emotions are a gift from God, but she can't be ruled by them.  She's learned that life is all about living for Christ and dying to self.

That girl, by God's grace, became a woman.  A different woman.  And He continues to work in me and break me and refine me and humble me and love me and pour out mercies on me.  He continues to finish that good work that He started in me.

And this is what we have to remember with our children....

What we see right now isn't what they'll always be.  When we think there isn't hope or when we let worry take over, we have to remind ourselves that this moment, this month, or this year, this or that bad decision or difference of opinion, doesn't define who they will always be.  And it doesn't define us.

Though it's a cliche that is often made fun of, the motto, "Please be patient.  God isn't finished with me, yet" is still true.  How many of us are so different from who we used to be?  We didn't notice the changes all at once, and sometimes that's why we don't think we're changing at all.

Remember as Christians we ALWAYS have hope. Remember God loves our children more than we do.  Remember His faithfulness and His kindness.  Remember we're growing in grace, and growth doesn't happen all at once.

The almost four year old who still isn't potty trained will be one day. The three year old you can't take to the grocery store will one day pleasantly obey. The ten year old who still can't read will one day keep you busy going to the library.  The usually sullen 14 year old will one day grab your neck and say, "I love you, Mom."

Be faithful to do what God's called you to do. Wear out the carpet in your praying.  And trust Him.  Because one day the little girl will be a woman and the little boy will be a man.  And God, as always, will still be working all things together for our good.



With love,
Trisha