A Brief Note from Blahsville

Ok. I'm still here, everyone! But the past several days have been a bit rough. I battled food poisoning, and I lost. Showing up early Sunday morning, this demon rudely interrupted my plans for an early Valentine's celebration set for Sunday evening. Those hours of gripping porcelain forced me to abandon dreams of heart-shaped chicken parmesan and instead pray I could just get up from the floor. My Beloved didn't wake up to sweet calls of "rise and shine", but rather "God, please have mercy on me!"

God did, but I just can't seem to shake off the exhausting effects of this one. I'm a temporary resident of Blahsville, and here is proof positive.

~I haven't eaten chocolate for five days. That's a record, I think.
~I haven't cooked a homemade meal for my family since Saturday (except the raspberry crumble I managed to make last night...there had to be something for them on Valentine's Day.)
~I've watched too much HGTV and Food Network (which are NOT family friendly by the way). It seems to be the only time the tv comes on...when I'm sick and so tired of just lying in bed. This is when I wish I knew how to crochet or knit or something.
~I'm washing my husbands clothes on an as needed basis, "Need some socks tomorrow? A pair of dress pants?"
~I haven't gotten up and made his breakfast or lunch at all this week.

As usual, God's mercies abound! I'm deeply grateful for children with wonderful imaginations that keep them occupied for hours and banish even the thought of boredom. I'm thankful for convenience foods. I'm thankful for children who love how I make Valentine's Day special, but who graciously understand that it just wasn't happening on time this year.

I'm thankful for a kind husband who has patiently endured my slow recovery. I'm thankful for AAA, the road-side company who rescued him Monday night and for the generous guys at Pep Boys who patched the flat-tire at no charge. I'm thankful for Pizza Barn take-out pizza that made last night seem like at least a bit of a celebration.

I'm thankful for 10 weeks and 2 days TODAY and for hearing Sweet Baby's heartbeat yesterday! Yes, I've been worried! It's amazing to me how God protects babies in the womb. Simply amazing. This little one's heart was beating 181 beats strong. Thank you, LORD!

 I'm thankful, too, for the beautiful snow God gave us last night.

And finally (because I don't want to make this a LONG post. :)), I'm thankful for those who have already been praying for me and Sweet Baby. I just know I'll be leaving Blahsville very soon.

Much love,
Trisha

Always Say This Out Loud

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."

 ~Gladys Berthe Stern 

After my Dad died last summer, I came home sick. I was tired and emotionally overwhelmed, and I was profoundly aware of the least kindnesses shown to me.

One of those was my doctor calling in a prescription for me instead of making me wait a week to see him. I was so grateful and wrote him a note letting him know that one decision had made my burden lighter. He in turn called to thank me for the thank you. I don't think doctors get too many of those.

Last week I sent a note to a dear friend who shared with me a yummy cream cheese pound cake recipe years ago. I think of her every time I make that cake, and I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her.

And then there are all those thanks I never sent out, I never said, except in my head. I've mentioned before that for at least a couple of months before my Dad died, I meant to send him a thank you for the Matthew Henry commentaries he gave me years before. But, as someone observed, we always think those we love will live forever.

And what about our children? Are they more aware of what they get right than what they do wrong? Don't assume they know you're proud of them or see the many ways they're growing in grace or the little victories that happen every day. Our husbands? How many sacrifices do they daily make that we take for granted?

Think about what a difference it makes when someone shows you gratitude. Last night, feeling run-down and knowing my Beloved wasn't going to be home until after 10, I offered my children an amazing gourmet meal...canned chicken noodle soup. I know. It was lame, but it was what I could muster up. Instead of complaints, I hear, "Thank you for this wonderful dinner, Mommy." 

Yep. That's enough to make you cry.

If a cashier has been unusually pleasant to deal with at the grocery store checkout, stop by to tell the manager what a delight you've found his employee to be, and how thankful you are for her attitude. He'll be glad to pass along the compliment, and she'll go home encouraged and freshly motivated about her work.

If a neighbor's flowerbed catches your eye every time you pull into the driveway, walk over and tell her how thankful you are for the hard work she puts into tending her yard and how it just seems to get more beautiful year after year.

And, of course, when you're captivated by a glorious sunset, or comforted in sorrow, or uplifted by some sweet reminder of the hope God gives in the midst of life's many problems and challenges, make your praise ring not only in your head but on your tongue.

If your pastor's messages encourage your heart and deepen your walk with God, don't assume he just automatically knows this or gets tired of hearing how his ministry is impacting people's lives. Look him in the eye and thank him for his faithfulness to bring you the Word, or jot him a note with a few specifics of how something he said really ministered to you.

~Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Choosing Gratitude


May we have eyes wide open to see the many opportunities around us to say "thanks" and hearts and mouths and pens ever ready to do so.


With love,
Trisha

Thankful Thursday~Beautiful Souls

I'm thankful for a husband who says, upon seeing his littlest girl in her Sunday burgundy velvet dress, "You're going to grow up to look just like your Mama. And that's going to mean trouble."

(That's a compliment, in case you're wondering. :))

He didn't say, "You'll look like your Mama when she was younger and thinner and prettier. She's really gone downhill now." He's speaking of NOW, and that's amazing to me.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Too often we women worry about the lines and the pounds and the effects of gravity (I do!). We measure ourselves by airbrushed images instead of by the Word of God, which already tells us that physical beauty is vain and fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Christ in us makes us more beautiful than botox or laser surgery or a million dollars worth of face creams. What a treasure it is to have husbands who know this and see this and tell us!

"Beauty recommends none to God, nor is it any proof of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many a man who made his choice of wife by it. But the fear of God, reigning in the heart, is the beauty of the soul; it lasts for ever."

~Matthew Henry

With love,

Trisha

What I'd Tell My Daughter if She Wanted to be a Blogger

1) Have a purpose. Write out your reasons for blogging and review them often to make sure your posts reflect your purpose. This also helps you determine when it's time to let go of your blog and invest your time elsewhere or whether you're starting to compromise in your writings.

2) Be gracious to your visitors and followers. You belong to Jesus, and that truth should flow out of your responses and your treatment of those who read your blog. I've felt many a cold shoulder from other Christian women bloggers who were theologically precise but a bit lacking in the love department. Don't let this be said of you. When a new visitor leaves a comment on your blog, always take the time to visit hers and leave encouragement.

3) Comments aren't an indication of the quality of a post. We all want affirmation of what we're saying. I've seen over 80 comments on a post about getting an AARP card in the mail and have noticed only a few comments on brilliant posts that sharpen and challenge. The truth is most readers find it easier to comment on insignificant and everyday things than to weigh in on deeper matters. (And some bloggers just have LOTS of friends. :)) While feedback is encouraging and spurs us on, it shouldn't become the focus.

4) Be sincere. If you say you're going to pray for someone, do it right then, or write down the name and be faithful to pray. Don't follow other blogs just to get them to follow you (this flies in the face of marketing logic, I know, but this goes back to knowing your purpose). Comment sincerely, avoiding flattery.

5) Be generous in promoting other bloggers and encouraging others to read their work: Jealousy often abounds on Blogger and Wordpress, but as Christians we blog differently. Promote the blogs of other Christians, and encourage them with good words.

6) Keep your blogging in perspective: Consider your other God-given responsibilities and make sure you're not neglecting your priorities and getting caught up in reading endless blogs and checking for comments.

7) Remember your words are there for a long, long time. Would you want your future children to read them? Would they make your future husband proud? At the core, do they honor the LORD? Don't be afraid to pull a post when you've erred, but also remember that your hitting the delete button doesn't mean your words aren't still floating around somewhere.

8) Small and true is very good. You'll quickly discover the temptation to have lots of followers. But there's nothing like having a faithful few around, those who really love you and pray for you and encourage you and set you straight when they need to.

9) Beware of internet disagreements battled out in the comments section. Yikes! I've witnessed some ugly ones, and I'm sure there have been times I should have just kept my mouth shut, too. Suddenly, we strip away the charity and humility we're supposed to be clothed in, and anything goes.

10) Watch out for people-pleasing, fame-desiring tendencies that cause you to compromise the Truth: When I first started blogging, I frequently read the blog of a young woman who was passionate about many things, especially honoring God in all areas of her life. She spoke hard words and received much criticism. She gradually threw off the unpopular posts for tamer topics that didn't stir much controversy. You want to speak the truth IN LOVE, but guard against a concern for offending people (because the truth of the gospel IS offensive) that leaves you spineless at the keyboard.

11) Don't leave backhanded comments: Like one I recently read, "I don't like your blog, but this was a good post." Why not, as a Christian, just say, "Great post." To add the former is simply a way to get a dig in at someone, and that's not Christ-like at all.

12) Some people just won't like you and many will often misunderstand you: They might not like you because you're a Christian or because you have blue eyes or because you have four children instead of two or because you use exclamation points in your posts. Get over it, and remember your purpose. Also, we all read posts with our own set of prejudices. That means we'll sometimes misunderstand what a blogger is saying or want to add in all the exceptions to the blogger's post, etc. Clarify yourself if necessary, but don't get caught up in trying to explain every detail of every post.

13) There might just be one: You just never know who you might encourage that day. What if your words helped one Mama love her calling a bit more or speak to her children more kindly or keep pressing on in teaching her children? What if your firm admonition reminded her to re-focus her priorities and your transparency renewed her wonder of God's grace?

14) Be authentic: Not as in a blogging exhibitionist, but rather, are you the same women at home that you are on your blog? Do you tell young ladies to respect their parents while you dishonor yours? Do you counsel other women to make their families a priority while you neglect your children to get blog posts done? Be consistent. Be authentic. Ask your family. They'll answer honestly.

15) Above all, honor God: Remind all who read of Christ crucified, the good news of the Gospel. Speak of His grace and mercy. Be thankful. Encourage. Edify. Say the hard but true things. Don't let your blog become an idol. Be ready to let it go when it's time. Fear God and not man.

With love,
Trisha

Five Clues Your Children Read Really OLD Books

1) Their vocabulary is larger than yours. They often hear you say, "What does that word mean?" (because you didn't grow up reading really old books). They correct your pronunciation of big words, too.

2) Shakespeare's language is "normal" to them, and they don't bat an eye if you say "thee" and "thou." They love to say the ordinary in an extraordinary way, quoting lines such as, "Go to your room, daughter, until this madness is purged from your veins."

3) They write well even though you've never formally taught them writing.

4) They amuse you with their carefree use of words like "gay" (happy) and "molest" (bother). You make a note that you must explain the modern day usage of these words soon, but not too soon.

5) When they must look up a word, they have to turn to Webster's 1828 dictionary instead of Google.

:)

With love,
Trisha

Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

My Mom will spend her first Valentine's Day in over 50 years without my Dad. Not only will the day be hard for what it is (and yes, we make a big deal about Valentine's Day!), but that day will also be the 8 month anniversary of my Dad's death.

Double whammy.

I do up Valentine's Day BIG around our home, and as I've been gathering my surprises, I've thought much about my loved ones who will know something different this year. My dear cousin, Michele, who died on October, was just like I am. She loved making the ordinary special for her family, and I know they'll be missing those special touches this year.

To them I'll be sending a box that includes some items that bring good memories of times with Michele, including a movie that we watched together in Salt Lake City that she declared "a keeper."

The point is letting them know I remember. I remember that it still hurts. I remember there's an empty space, in their hearts and at their table.

Valentine's Day isn't hard only for those who have known the death of a loved one. It can be the perfect time to encourage others, too...

~anyone who's just lost her spouse/girlfriend/close friend/daughter/son, etc.
~the friend who's divorced or separated
~the neighbor who lives alone
~someone who longs to be married but is still single
~the friend who's caring for ill parents
~anyone who's hurting

What to give or do or say?

~a card just saying, "I know this day will be hard for you. Please know I love you, and I'm praying for you."
~a gift card
~an item that your loved one always received from his/her spouse (you be the judge...I know that might not be good for some, though others would find it comforting.)
~flowers
~take the person out to lunch or dinner
~a box of chocolates
~meals for the freezer, especially for someone who lives alone
~a jar full of slips of paper, each naming something you love about that person OR what you loved about the one who's died OR what you loved about them together
~a special photo or cd or movie
~a list of Scriptures about love
~a book about the love of God

I know the objections to Valentine's Day, just like those to Mother's Day or Father's Day. "We should be showing our appreciation every day." Yes, we should. But, the truth is, our culture is saturated by the observance of these holidays, and grief and loneliness are often intensified on such days. Why not do a little something to make that burden lighter?

Much love,
Trisha

Learn Again to Lament

Because it's in the midst of our trials and singing our own lamentations that we learn best how to comfort other hurting hearts, to show our children that true Christianity requires many sessions in the school of affliction, and to clothe ourselves in compassion and mercy to minister to those who don't know Jesus.

"...let us learn once again to lament. Read the Psalms over and over until you have the vocabulary, grammar, and syntax necessary to lay your heart before God in lamentation. If you do this, you will have the resources to cope with your own times of suffering, despair and heartbreak, and to keep worshipping and trusting through even the blackest of days; you will also develop a greater understanding of fellow Christians whose agonies of, say, bereavement, depression, or despair , sometimes make it difficult for them to prance around in ecstasy singing 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' on a Sunday morning; and you will have more credible things to say to those shattered and broken individuals--be they burned-out bank managers or down-and-out-junkies--to whom you may be called to be a witness of God's unconditional mercy and grace to the unloved and the unlovely. For such, as the Bible might put it, were some of you..."
~Carl Trueman, The Wages of Spin
"What Can Miserable Christians Sing"

Of Moleskines, Memories, and Mailboxes

"What do you do?  You're just a housewife and slave, aren't you?  A nursemaid to a bunch of kids?

No, I have a fantastic job, a terrific career.  I am a curator

 in a museum--a museum of memories!  I am collecting 

memories for our family museum."

~Edith Schaeffer, What is a Family?

Some of my favorite childhood memories are the little notes my Mom would leave me.  Her "I'm praying for you!" reminders got me through tough days at school and greatly relieved my test anxiety.  This introvert hated school, and my Mom's encouraging words and reminders that God was with me were a lifeline for me.

When she was hospitalized once for a week, she left me notes ahead of time.  Each envelope was labeled with the day it was to be opened, and inside there would be stickers or a dollar or little Scripture cards.

What memories these notes made for me! Now, I'm a note writer, too.  I love to leave my children hugs in words.  Their memory boxes are full of pieces of paper from me.  Love notes.

But these papers are too easily lost, so I came up with a more lasting way to leave them good words.  I decided to use the moleskines (and isn't the moleskine good for almost everything?) and some similar type notebooks.

Each child has his own mailbox and his own moleskine (or other notebook).  I write notes in their books and slip them in the mailboxes, sometimes along with a little treat.  I found these mailboxes years ago at Target, and I haven't seen any as nice since.  But, I'm still looking.

Sometimes the children write notes back to me, and that is very precious, too.  It's a gift of grace to find encouraging words waiting for me, especially after days when I've been discouraged or felt defeated.

Here's an example of something I might write....

"Dear __

My precious daughter, you had such a great first reading lesson today!  I can't wait to hear you read from God's wonderful Word.  I'm so thankful to have the blessing of teaching you many great things.

Love, 

Mommy

XO"

"Dear ___

I'm so proud of you for participating in the discussion at ____.  I pray you would always see the foolishness of a life not lived by faith.  May it always be said of you, my beloved child, that you always did what was right in the sight of the LORD and that you lived by faith, trusting your Savior wholeheartedly.

I love you!

Love,

Mommy

XO"

Why and how?

***who doesn't love to get mail?  From oldest to youngest, our children delight at seeing the flag on their mailbox up, knowing encouraging words and perhaps a small gift are waiting for them

***sometimes it's easier to write some things than say them, and these words are a lasting reminder to our children of moments that time too easily dims

***this forces me to slow down, look thoughtfully at the work God is doing in EACH child's life, and make a note of it.  As I write, I'm thanking God at the same time for His many mercies He daily gives to our family.  I'm praising Him for the work He does in spite of me and my failings.

***I never know if I'll have tomorrow.  Life can slip away in an instant, and I want my children to have those words to encourage them and remind them of my love, God's love, and His goodness to them.

***I want my children to be encouragers, to use their words to bless instead of curse, to be intentional about giving others the gift of good words

***I LOVE being a memory-maker, the curator, as Mrs. Schaeffer puts it, of our family museum

This is not a costly tradition to start, but the dividends are endless.  What a gift God has given us to impress memories on the hearts of our children that reflect His glory and speak of His constant goodness and mercy.

This time of year is a perfect one to be on the lookout for mailboxes! :)

Much love,

Trisha

***originally posted at my A Multitude of Mercies blog in Feb. 2011

What's On My Nightstand

Because, God willing, we'll need a name in September!

Thank you in advance for your prayers. This first month has seen a few sleepless nights as my soul has refused to be comforted while bound with fear, much opportunity for prayer, and overflowing gratitude for each moment this baby is with us.

I'm simply humbled by God's mercy.

With love,
Trisha

***To my dear friends whose hearts are still longing for a baby...I don't have words. Please know I pray for you, one by one, even those who have never left a comment, but who I know are struggling with infertility. Thank you for your continuing encouragement to my heart in the midst of your heartache.