Last Night's Moon

I have not yet been able to capture a clear picture of the moon, but last night, Luke got this one! Isn't is amazingly beautiful?

Content by George Herbert

Content

by George Herbert

Peace mutt'ring thoughts, and do not grudge to keep

Within the walls of your own breast:

Who cannot on his own bed sweetly sleep,

Can on another's hardly rest.

Gad not abroad at ev'ry quest and call

Of an untrained hope or passion.

To court each place or fortune that doth fall,

Is wantonness in contemplation.

Mark how the fire in flints doth quiet lie,

Content and warm t' it self alone:

But when it would appear to others' eye,

Without a knock it never shone.

Give me the pliant mind, whose gentle measure

Complies and suits with all estates;

Which can let loose to a crown, and yet with pleasure

Take up within a cloister's gates.

This soul doth span the world, and hang content

From either pole unto the center:

Where in each room of the well-furnisht tent

He lies warm, and without adventure.

The brags of life are but a nine days' wonder;

And after death the fumes that spring

From private bodies, make as big a thunder,

As those which rise from a huge King.

Only thy Chronicle is lost; and yet

Better by worms be all once spent,

Than to have hellish moths still gnaw and fret

Thy name in books, which may not rent:

When all thy deeds, whose brunt thou feel'st alone,

Are chaw'd by others' pens and tongue;

And as their wit is their digestion,

Thy nourisht fame is weak or strong.

Then cease discoursing soul, till thine own ground,

Do not thy self or friends importune.

He that by seeking hath himself once found,

Hath ever found a happy fortune.

***memory work for Term 1 of 2013-14 school year

Anatomy of a Large Family's Read Aloud Time

Pick a time.

Announce it to everyone.

Begin thirty minutes late because  you got distracted washing the dishes and putting another load of laundry in and dressing your daughter's baby in doll clothes.

Let everyone gather their coloring pages, pencils, or Legos to use while listening to the reading.

Begin.

Hear toddler cry for juice.  Ask her buddy to please get her some.

Begin again.

Read for about 15 minutes.  Then, have daughter tell you baby needs a diaper change.

Tell everyone you'll be right back. 

Change diaper.  Watch baby boy pee all over comforter unexpectedly (really, Mama-to-quite-a-few-boys, you should expect that...)  Strip bed and put comforter in the wash.

Tell everyone to settle down.

Begin again.

Admonish two children for fighting.  Tell them to stop provoking one another.  "Keep your hands to yourself."   "Do unto others as you'd want done to you."

Ask another child, "Are you listening?"

Try again.

Hear howling scream from one son.  "What happened?"  Mediate.  Discipline.  Sigh and wonder how long you've actually been READING.

Feel toddler girl lay her head on your lap.  Hug her back.

Look for your place again.

Start reading.

Realize 3 year old is missing.  "Where's _________?"  Send her buddy to look for her.

Start again.

Hear everyone laugh at the passage or make commentary on the author's worldview.  Follow rabbit trails.  Calm everyone down, and get back to the line you were on.

Notice toddler has a permanent marker.  "Where did she get that?"  "Get it from her quick!"

Hear phone ring.  It's Daddy.  He'll be home in about an hour and a half.  Think of dinner and how much time you need to get it done.  Remember the clothes wrinkling in the dryer. 

Find your spot, and try again.

Smile as you notice little daughter trying to help her sister with a toy.

Read for a bit more.

Exhort another child to use his words for building up, not tearing down.

Fight discouragement as you tell yourself, "Why bother?"

Remind yourself that great things are done little by little, even with an interruption here and an interruption there. 

Laugh at yourself.  Treasure the blessing of so many children around you who really are enjoying the book you're reading. 

Remember that an hour of uninterrupted read aloud time with total silence is very overrated.  Would I really want that? (Well....move to the next thought.)

Remember where you need to discipline more.  Remember how you need to lighten up.

Remember not to grow weary in doing good.  And this time together, interruptions, frustrations, and all, is very GOOD.

End with a big smile on your face.  Close the book, and try again tomorrow. 

Thank the LORD that you're such a rich woman.

The End. :)

***originally posted at my A Multitude of Mercies blog

Real Men of Steel

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.

~1 Corinthians 16:13

*****

Almost three years ago, Ink was under those bright operating-room lights and the influence of anesthesia and a scalpel-wielding surgeon. A steel bar was implanted in his chest, relieving the pressure that his rib cage was putting on his heart. It was an amazing procedure, so efficiently done, that unless you knew he had a bar in his chest, you'd never guess it to be true.

On a scale of 1-10, his pain was an 11, for quite some time. Immediately, his asthma symptoms ceased, though, and after a few months, he adjusted so well to the bar that it seemed to become part of him, instead of an intruding foreign object.

God has kept Ink in amazing ways these past years. Physically, there haven't been any complications. Not one. Isn't it incredible? Isn't it a wonder? To be walking around with a metal bar in your chest and to be kept from harm in ways you aren't even aware of?

Yes, God has been merciful, and the bar has done its job well.

Has Ink known...

Superhuman strength? No.

The ability to fly? No. (Except on an airplane after making it through the metal detector.)

Extrasensory and vision powers? No.

Man of steel jokes? Yes.

Football? Yes. 

Push-ups and pull-ups? Yes.

Even Rugby? Yes.

Sanctification? Yes.

In less than two weeks, our dear Ink will have surgery to remove that steel bar. We'll have to cut out the man of steel jokes, and Ink and push-ups will continue to be the best of friends, but Ink's lasting strengths, the strengths of godly men, aren't dependent on surgeons or medical advancements or workout programs.

They can't be bought, surgically implanted, or surgically removed.

They're the work of the Spirit.

1) Contented: What an example Ink has been to us in having a contented spirit in the midst of uncertain and painful circumstances. Not once has he said, "Why me?" or murmured against God (at least not out loud). It's a grace that has left me in wonder, especially as I battle discontentment in the midst of lost socks and dirty dishes. Strong men rest contentedly under His providential hand, especially when it leads them through the fire.

2) Grounded in the Word: Strong men stand on This--in a world that continues to say, and among professing Christians who continue to say, "Did God really say?"

3) World-changers: Superman might save distressed cats from burning buildings, but we watch Ink change the world one sentence at a time. And this is what strong men do--use their gifts for God's glory.

4) Grateful: Guys aren't making 1000-gifts lists on flowery papers. They tend to show their thankfulness in everyday, ordinary ways. Doing their duties, their manly duties. Saying "thank you" for dinner. Keeping their word to their hurt. Being good stewards of God's blessings. Worshipping. Leading. Sacrificing. Honoring.

5) Self-aware: Not the self-awareness that just makes one more self-ish, that makes life all about you, but rather the self-awareness that leads to repentance and dependence and makes everything all about Him. Strong men know they deserve the wrath of God but received His mercy and grace instead. They know they can't trust themselves, but must lean hard on their Savior, every moment of every day. To use my pastor's words, they know they're "black-hearted sinners."

Strong men--godly men-- are in our midst. Praise God for the real thing!

And did I ask the doctor for the steel bar? You know, for an Ebenezer?

Of course!

With love,
Trisha



***Ink's surgery is Monday, August 26th. Prayers, please, for steady surgeon's hands, no complications, and a quick recovery. Thank you very much!

Blessed is the Mama

Blessed is the Mama who remembers well that there are some things a baby must do for himself. 

And just to be clear, Sarge was crying FOR my spaghetti, not because of it. :)

Imagine a World in Which We All Do This

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk  tea and scones about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
~Barbara Jordan




**original quote is "cookies and milk" :)

Thankful Thursday~Patterns of Mercy and Trumpets of Praise

In just over a week's time, I attended a wedding and then a funeral. The contrast was sobering, and yet beautiful, too, for God was glorified in both the new lives joined together and in the honoring of a saint who had run her race well. And as I move through days that are rich in the wonder and laughter of children, my sister cares for her husband in the quietness and heaviness of a home that smells of death.

As I watch little bodies grow and get stronger, she watches her strong husband, her protector and provider, get weaker. As I contemplate not growing weary in faithfully training up our children for His glory, she begs for grace to get through a day without falling apart.

A haunting awareness of the difference in our days clings to me, and I often swallow hard and pray for supernatural strength for my sister. For me, I ask for the grace to live fully present in each moment He's set before me, to be grateful for "normal" and "ordinary."

And in the midst of all of this, God is great, and God is good. 

I'm thankful to the Lord for a pastor who faithfully reminds us of the Gospel every single week.

I'm thankful for the fine job Emma did in sewing her first drawstring bag. I'm thankful for little children who delight in play dough, who think it's one of God's greatest creations.  I'm thankful for the good works that God works in us, that He might be glorified.

I'm thankful for colorful flowers that brighten up desert landscapes, and for children who squeal with excitement when they get to water Vincas and Petunias. I'm thankful for a yard full of puddles and mud because that means God has given us RAIN! I'm thankful for breathtaking sunsets that leave me in awe of the Lord.

I'm thankful for big sisters who love babies and for babies who giggle at the silliest of things. I'm thankful for healthy children.

I'm thankful for conversations with my sister and for the ways this affliction has deepened her walk with the Lord.

I'm thankful for difficult relationships that push us to examine our hearts and remember all that Christ has done for us, to die to self and be clothed with compassion and humility. I'm thankful for friends who patiently love me when I'm hard to love.

I'm thankful for difficult people who push us to know what we believe and why and be bold enough to say so. I'm thankful that conflict teaches us how little we fear God and how much we fear man. I'm thankful God's grace is sufficient for it all.

"Fall upon your knees, break forth into a thankful triumph of praise; let your hearts be ten-stringed instruments, to sound forth the memorial of God's mercy. None so deep in debt to free grace as you, and none should be so high mounted upon the pinnacle of thanksgiving. Say as the sweet singer; 'I will extol thee, my God, O King; every day will I bless thee, and I will praise thy name for ever' (Psalm 145:1,2). Those who are patterns of mercy should be trumpets of praise."
~Thomas Watson, All Things for Good

With love,
Trisha

Token Apologies

How fiercely our flesh resists peacemaking and confession and reconciliation. Thus, one of the best things we can teach our children is the danger of "if, but, and maybe" when dealing with an offense. One day they will be mothers and wives and fathers and husbands who will either give half-hearted, blame-shifting apologies, or they will be humble confessors of sin who call their sin what it is. The best way to teach them not to offer "token" apologies is to not offer them ourselves.

When I get angry with a child, and I must repent, I can't say, "I'm sorry I got angry with you. If you hadn't broken that dish, I wouldn't have gotten so mad. But, anyway, would you forgive me?"

No. What needs to be said is this. "I'm sorry for getting angry with you. I should have been more patient and had more self-control. Would you please forgive me?"

In his book, The Peacemaker, Ken Sande explains well why conditional apologies do little to mend breaches:

The best way to ruin a confession is to use words that shift the blame to others or that appear to minimize or excuse your guilt. The most common way to do this is to say, "I'm sorry if I've done something to upset you." The word if ruins this confession , because it implies that you do not know whether or not you did wrong. The message you are communicating is this: "Obviously you're upset about something. I don't know that I have done anything wrong, but just to get you off my back I'll give you a token apology. By the way, since I don't know whether I have done anything wrong, I certainly don't know what I should do differently in the future. Therefore, don't expect me to change. It's only a matter of time before I do the same thing again."

Clearly, that is no confession at all. It is a superficial statement designed to get someone to stop bothering you or to transfer fault for breaking a relationship. Small wonder that genuine forgiveness rarely follows such words...

The word but is especially harmful, because it has the strange ability to cancel out all the words that precede it.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you really upset me."
"I know I was wrong, but so were you!"

Whenever statements like these are made, most people sense that the speaker believes the words following but more than those that precede it. Thus, a confession containing but rarely leads to reconciliation. The same is true when you use however, if, maybe, or any other word indicating reluctance to accept full responsibility for what you have done.
~Ken Sande

With love,
Trisha

10 Ways to Comfort A Grieving Heart

I'm not an expert on grief. While I've known the heartache of four miscarriages, and I've had family members die, my life's canvas isn't dominated by dark strokes of loss. Of course, grief is not borne out of death alone. Divorce, loss of health, aging, severed relationships, empty nests, barren wombs, and many other circumstances evoke grief. This means it will be the rare time in our lives when someone we know isn't grieving.

As a child I was insulated from death and from grief. The first funeral I attended was just four years ago, when my father-in-law died. The second was just a little over two years ago for my Dad. I didn't have my first miscarriage until I knew the joy of four children.

I can only guess what a poor comforter I was prior to those times, for experience is often a master teacher. Our own trials let us taste the comfort of God, which then allows us to better comfort others. (1 Cor. 1:3) Here are just a few of my lessons learned:

1) Listen. This is essential. Let the grieving heart share its memories and regrets and questions. Let the grieving heart tell you how great God is even in the midst of unspeakable pain. Don't listen with an agenda of telling YOUR stories. Just listen to the stories being told. 

There will be time for you to relate later how you might know what the person is feeling--that's part of comforting others with the comfort we have known-- but initially, pure listening ears are a beautiful gift to a grieving heart.

2) Banish the "But" or "Be careful little tongue what you say." While standing in the receiving line after my Dad's memorial, a woman I've never met came up to me. "I'm so sorry about your Dad, BUT it's a blessing." I'll spare you the rest of her comment and say that her idea of it being a blessing had nothing to do with the fact that my Dad was released from his body of sin and present with the LORD.

"I'm sorry your baby died, BUT at least you have other children."
"I'm sorry you lost your job, but at least you have money in the bank."

When the grief is so fresh, "I'm sorry" works just fine.

3) Remember no act of kindness is too small. As I watched people come in and out of my Mom's home after my Dad died, I was struck by the fact that each person simply did what he could. Some acts of kindness were small, and some were big, but they all were a comfort. Don't convince yourself that your offering of compassion won't matter. It does, and it leaves a soothing impression on that grieving heart.

4) Remember time is standing still for the grieving heart.  Life moves on for everyone else, but the grieving heart often struggles to put one foot in front of the other and do the next thing. Ask if you can take care of phone calls or little tasks that can't wait on grief. And because time seems to stand still, remember that two years can seem like just yesterday to one who is mourning.

5) Pour out grace and patience. The grieving heart can be snippy or forgetful. It can be easily overwhelmed and tearful. It can find it hard to make decisions or commit long-term to something. Don't add to the pressure by burdening the grieving heart with YOUR expectations. 

6) Don't judge what the grieving heart does or does not do. How the grieving heart spends its time is not a proper gauge of grief. We all process the pain differently. Just because the mourner goes out to dinner, spends time on the computer, or has a "good" day, or buys a new dress, doesn't mean she's not struggling or hurting.

7) Pray, and remind the grieving heart of the tender, limitless compassion of Christ. Is there a better gift to give the grieving heart? How precious is the question, "How can I pray for you?"

8) Send a card, a real card. In an age of e-mails and texting, we've forgotten what it means to read real words across a page, words written by loving hands. This type of comfort is special joy. And cards are great months, and even years later, when others have forgotten, but the pain is still there.

9) Customize the comfort. All too often, we comfort only in a manner that appeals to us. But how is the grieving heart most comforted? With silence? With much talking? With a surprise? With planning visits ahead of time? With gifts or with words? With a meal in or a meal out? Ask "How can I best help you during this time?"

10) Sometimes a rebuke is necessary. I know. There will be those who chafe at this, but when grief consumes us, when our loss becomes the focus of our lives, then we are sinning. To stop living because we no longer have a family member in our world or because we can't have that one thing we've been praying for for years is to say that our treasure is not found in Christ, that He's insufficient, that our hope and purpose have been in something other than the God who's made us. Directing a grieving heart back to the truth of who they are in Christ is true comfort. Of course, these hard words require wisdom and prayer and come best from those closest to us, who have been beside us in our grief instead of  just showing up one day and telling us to "get over it." 

May God grant us tender hearts that honor God and love others as we weep with those who weep, pouring out real compassion that lasts longer than our initial whispers of condolence.

With love,

Trisha

**revised from a previous post written for my A Multitude of Mercies blog